Page 115 of The Pawn

Relieved, I smile. I take the ring out of its box and take her hand.

“With this ring, I thee wed,” I say, sliding it onto her finger.

She sniffles. “I think you have the order wrong,” she says, tears starting to fall.

My eyes search hers, her beautiful honey sweet eyes.

“You’re going to make me do this?” I ask, wanting exactly that.

She nods, smiling through those tears.

I bend one knee and look up at her for a change.

“You are the love of my life, Allegra Moretti. Will you marry me?”

44

CASSIAN

Ibring Allegra with me to meet my brother for the first time and for the last. And meet, well, that’s not quite the right word.

Vivi doesn’t bring Gage. I understand. It wouldn’t have made a difference for Seth, and I don’t want Gage to have this particular memory of his father. Vivi and I will create a better story for him.

In the antiseptic smell of the hospital’s elevator, Allegra squeezes my hand. She doesn’t speak. Neither do I. Once the doors open, I see Vivi. She is standing outside Seth’s door talking to the doctor.

She looks sad, of course, but also better, in a way. She comes to hug me, her smile for Allegra a warm one.

“Hey,” she says, kissing my cheek before drawing back. She turns to Allegra. “You must be Allegra. I’m Vivi.” She extends a hand which Allegra doesn’t take. Instead, Allegra wraps her arms around Vivi and pulls her into a tight hug.

“It’s so good to meet you, I’m just sorry it’s like this. I’m sosorry.”

When they draw apart both have wet eyes. Vivi keeps hold of Allegra’s hand.

“Thank you. Seth isn’t there anymore. He hasn’t been in a long time.” She wipes her face as she glances at me.

“No, he hasn’t.” And I made him a promise years ago, one I have dreaded. One I will finally keep. “Let’s let him go.”

We walk together into Seth’s hospital room.

Allegra sniffles at my side. Vivi is more composed. She’s prepared for this and in some way, over the years, I have too.

I take a moment to introduce Allegra to my big brother. She brushes her fingers over his hand and tells him she wishes she’d had a chance to get to know him then gives my hand a squeeze before walking away, delicately giving me a few final moments alone with my brother.

My eyes are somehow dry as I look at him, touching his face. A bandage is wrapped around his head, and I can see where they shaved his hair on one side to do what they could after his fall.

“Hey big brother.” I sit down, take his hand. “I’m going to miss you. I’d rather have you like this than not at all, but it’s no good for you.” My vision blurs. “I know that. And I hope you’ll forgive me for my selfishness, but I couldn’t let you go sooner. I couldn’t keep my promise until now. I love you, Seth. And I will make sure your son knows you. I swear it.”

Vivi puts a hand on my shoulder.

I wipe my face and stand up. “Do you…”

“I said goodbye before you got here. It’s time, Cassian. Time we set him free.”

I nod.

The medical team enter and Vivi and I each take one of Seth’s hands and I don’t try to stop the tears as I watch them slowly, one by one, unplug the machines keeping my brother alive. I watch him as, slowly, his chest stops moving, his breaths in this life finished. I watch him and I think maybe, just maybe, I know the moment his soul is free because it’s that moment that, out of this wretched, gray world, the sun shines into that hospital room. In that split second that a ray of light falls on my brother’s beautiful, peaceful face.

Time of death is recorded. Allegra is at my side, her hand wrapped protectively around mine. We walk out of that room.