Page 30 of The Pawn

Time to look at my right hand. The one that won’t feel phantom pain yet. Only real pain.

I do it. Finally, I do it and I have to muffle the sound of my cry. Because this? This is real. The bloody bandage. It’s very real. And I know what’s underneath.

What’snotunderneath.

I need to focus now.

The ring.

I need to get my mother’s ring.

A snore comes from the corner of the room startling me. I almost scream, but then I see the woman there. She’s sitting on a chair. Slumped on it. Asleep. It’s the nurse who assisted the doctor Cassian had brought. A female doctor. For me. So I’d feel safe. As if I could ever feel safe again. Cassian couldn’t protect me from Malek. He couldn’t keep me safe. He broke his promise.

If the nurse wakes, she’ll call Cassian. They’ve been sedating me. I don’t want to be sedated anymore, and I need to get that ring, so I’m quiet as I push the blanket off and slide my legs over the bed. Someone dressed me in a white nightgown of the softest cotton. My bare feet touch the carpet by the bed, and I stand. For a moment, I’m dizzy. Swaying. I take hold of the post nearest me until the spell passes.

Focus. The ring. I need to get the ring.

I walk slowly toward the door, warm carpet giving way to cold stone. I open the door with my good hand, keeping the other at my side, not wanting to look at it. Itthrobs, feels like it weighs a ton. If anything, it should feel lighter.

The church is dark. Moonlight filters in through the stained-glass windows here too. A light is on over the stove. I look for movement. For soldiers. For someone to stop me, but there’s no one. For a moment, I think I’m alone. I think maybe he left me here alone.

A panic begins to rise at the thought, but then I hear voices. Two men.

I know them both.

Cassian.

Jet.

They were both there at the Maestro’s house.

A sliver of light spills out of the study door which stands ajar.

I make my legs move, needing to walk close to the wall for support, fingertips brushing it as I make my way toward the study. Dead lie beneath my feet. Bones in boxes inside the earth. I try not to think about them.

Cassian and Jet are talking in lowered voices. I can’t make out what they’re saying. I’m not here to eavesdrop though. I just need the ring.

I push the door open the rest of the way.

They turn at once, conversation abruptly stopping.

Cassian’s back is to me, so it’s Jet I see first. He’s facing the door. His jaw tenses and he tries not to look at my bandaged hand.

Cassian’s shoulders tighten, shirt stretched tight over them as muscles flex. He turns to look at me and the air shifts. Something crackles between us as Cassian takes me in.

I blink. I can’t get lost in those eyes. Not now.

“Allegra.” Cassian sets his drink on the edge of the desk and comes toward me. “You should be in bed.”

He’s so tall. With my combat boots the difference is a little less, but barefoot, I need to crane my neck to look up at him. He scans my face, gaze shifting to my bandaged hand. I don’t like what I see in it. I don’t like his pity. I was a good little victim, wasn’t I? The one thing I swore I’d never be again. I was exactly that. Malek took me back to that place, back in time and I was exactly that.

“The ring,” I say, my voice sharp, not like me at all.

“Let me take you back to bed, Allegra.”

I shake my head, pull out of his grasp. “I need the ring. Where is it?”

“Tomorrow. It’s late now. Let’s go to bed.”