Page 3

SHANE

“Steak and potatoes for breakfast. My favorite.” Calder playfully winked at me. “Seriously. Thanks for this, Shane.”

I was doing my usual daily routine, dropping off a hot meal, along with some supplies and firewood for Calder’s cabin.

As he seemed to be recovering just fine, I tried to keep my distance from him as best I could.

My system was efficient, not leaving much time for catching up or small talk.

I wasn’t interested in getting to know Calder any better than I had before, images of us exchanging polite greetings still stuck in my head.

But lately, the way he’d look at me sometimes…

No.

I knew there wasn’t anything to it. If anything, Calder seemed like he was just a natural flirt, training his attention on anyone who happened to be around.

Which meant that I needed to treat him accordingly, as an overly flirty person who just happened to be staying on the ranch for the time being.

Besides, I knew he had someone waiting for him. That woman in the picture.

And as soon as he could remember her name, he’d be on his way home to her.

“Can I shadow you again today?”

“Oh. Uh…” I paused for a moment, thinking through my response. “I don’t know if we should. Last time was fine but today I’m?—”

“Come on, Shane,” he pressed. “I understand I can’t be out there every day, but don’t I still have the right to go outside?”

“Of course, you can go outside?—”

“What are you up to today?” He cut me off, as he moved closer to me. “Whatever it is, I want to help. You don’t want my help?”

“It’s not that I don’t want your help, Calder,” I replied. “What I want is for you to get well. And I don’t want to do anything to hinder that?—”

“If I start feeling like I can’t handle it, I’ll let you know, ASAP. I promise.”

“Calder—”

“Please, Shane? Please.”

“Fine. Okay,” I relented. “But you better tell me if you start feeling under the weather. I’m going to feel awful if I somehow make things worse for you.”

“You have my word.” Calder beamed. “Now, let’s get out there. I’m going a little stir crazy being cooped up in this cabin.”

Calder was good at farm work.

Frustratingly good.

I quietly watched him as he reset a fallen gate, balanced a post on his shoulder, looped a rope like he was born to do it…

It was hard denying him access to the farm when it just seemed like it was his calling.

I’d somehow managed to keep to myself as we worked alongside each other, keeping our conversations short.

But it always felt like Calder was trying to pull more and more out of me, asking follow-up questions about things I’d said, providing his own running commentary on whatever we were working on.

That was frustrating to me, too. While a part of me wanted to answer his every question, I needed things to stay the way they’d been before.

We weren’t friends. We’d barely been co-workers.

We weren’t anything.

And that was how I needed it to be.

“Are you going to help me move this panel or just keep standing there?” Calder said with a grin, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Actually, I think I can get it?—”

“Wait, Calder—” But it was already too late.

The panel had been resting alongside a barn, but the size of it was deceptive.

I’d moved panels like it before but unless Calder knew its exact dimensions, trying to move it himself would’ve spelled trouble.

As he picked it up, it wobbled in his grip, his legs almost going out from underneath him.

I rushed into action, steadying Calder from behind, one of my arms wrapping around his waist, while the other reached for the side of the panel.

When I was sure it was safe, I helped guide the panel down towards the ground, my arm still wrapped around Calder.

We stayed like that for a moment, Calder in my arms, hearts beating fast as I tried to regulate my breathing.

Warmth.

I’d felt it then, so close to Calder. There was something between us, something fleeting, a spark of electricity underneath my fingertips, but what if it was all in my head?—

I practically scrambled away from him, letting him go. When I did, he turned around, his eyes meeting mine. There was an expression I couldn’t read on his face, half confused, half something else.

“Sorry,” I apologized immediately. “I didn’t want you to hurt yourself. I should’ve given you more space. I?—”

“It’s fine. You were just trying to help,” Calder’s words were distant, even though he was standing right in front of me. “Thanks.”

There was an unnamed tension between us, as Calder’s gaze broke away from mine.

Shit.

Does he know?

I’d always been attracted to Calder, but I’d gone out of my way to hide it.

Of course, now with us being in such close proximity, it was probably more obvious than ever.

It didn’t matter how much I tried to keep my distance, it didn’t matter how much I’d thought Calder may have been flirting with me or looking at me differently.

Calder was never going to be interested in me, not like that.

“We should get you back to your cabin. I don’t want you risking any other injuries?—”

“You’re right. I should head back,” Calder interrupted, his tone warming a bit. He looked over at me then, a curious look in his eye. “But… I don’t really want to. Maybe we can find something else for me to do? Something that involves less panels?”

“Maybe we could feed some of the animals?”

“Sounds perfect.” Calder’s smile was wide.

Oh.

Maybe he doesn’t know?

Or maybe he didn’t care. For all I knew, Calder was flattered at the idea of me having some stupid crush on him, a straight guy having his ego stroked by someone like me fawning all over him. I inwardly kicked myself for wasting any time even thinking about it.

“Right. Let’s head over to the stables.” It was the last thing I said as I turned away from him, willing myself to not spare him another damn thought.

The sun was setting as I drove the UTV back to Calder’s cabin.

We’d finished the rest of my to-do list for the day, mostly in silence since the panel incident.

I honestly just didn’t have anything else to say to him, embarrassment still just underneath my skin.

I’d felt something between us that wasn’t there, projected my thoughts onto Calder with an uncomfortable ease.

And now, all I wanted to do was head home to my cabin and forget the whole thing.

“Do you remember your dreams, Shane?”

“What?” Calder’s question knocked me back down to Earth.

“Your dreams? Do you remember them?” He sighed. “What about having the same one, over and over? Has that ever happened to you?”

“Are you sure you’re not starting to remember things?” I pressed. “You might not be talking about dreams, at all?—”

“I can tell that they’re dreams,” he replied, shaking his head. “They have this… dreamlike quality about them. Fuzzy, correct but not in the right ways. Emotionally correct, maybe.”

“What’s happening in your dreams, Calder?”

“I’m on a horse. And there’s this trail.

And it’s always the same…” His words trailed off.

“There’s always someone waiting for me at the end of the trail.

There’s a silhouette of a stranger, a man.

But I never see who he is. I always try to ride towards him, but I can never get there.

But there’s this feeling that I can’t explain, like, I’m so grateful that he’s there. I think he’s there for me.”

“You think he’s there to help you?”

“To save me, maybe.”

“Are you in danger in this dream?”

“Maybe it’s not about saving me in a literal sense.” Calder shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s good. I can tell that much.”

Calder turned to look over at me. “What do you think it means?”

“I don’t know if it’s wise to ascribe meaning to our dreams?—”

“But if you had to take a guess?”

“Maybe it’s someone you know, an old friend. But because of your memory issues, you just can’t remember right now. If you feel like they’re going to save you… maybe your brain thinks that, too. That once you remember them, you’ll be saved.”

Calder hummed, like he was thinking it over. “What do you dream about, Shane?”

“I don’t really have dreams. Not like that, anyway.”

“What kind of dreams do you have then?”

I hesitated for a moment before letting the truth spill out of me.

“I… dream about other things, daydreams. About having my own piece of land someday. Something in my own name, not Joseph Stratton’s.

A place where I can put down roots. The kind of land that goes on for miles, as far as the eye can see. ”

“That sounds beautiful, Shane.” Calder offered me a warm smile. “I hope you’re able to get it someday. And I hope you let me visit.”

“You’d want to visit my farm?”

“Uh, of course? Why wouldn’t I?” He chuckled. “I bet you’d run a tight ship, but you’d still spend time with the horses. I can picture it now. You, calm as ever. Happy.”

“You care about me being happy?”

“Uh, of course. Why wouldn’t I?” Calder playfully repeated himself. “It’s a good thing, being happy, Shane. And I like how it looks on you.”

I didn’t know what to think. Suddenly there were images of Calder standing next to me on the farm, us overlooking the land, us feeding the horses and cattle.

I’d never pictured anyone else beside me in that daydream before, no one at my side to help me build.

And yet, for the first time, here I was, daydreaming about me and Calder working together to create something real from my dreams, something tangible and?—

No.

I needed to let it go. It didn’t help that having someone next to me was a terrifying prospect, a new responsibility that I’d never counted on.

I didn’t know what to do with someone like Calder. And he didn’t know what to do with me.

Daydreams were meant to be daydreams and nothing more.