Chapter Five
P erian was even more sure this was just the sort of thing he wouldn’t mind repeating when he woke up next to Brannal. When his lover roused, they shared somewhat sleepy kisses, caressed warm skin, and put morning wood to very good use.
“I don’t think I’ve needed to wash myself this frequently since I was fifteen,” Brannal grumbled, guiding their come-splattered bodies to the water closet.
“An ambitious fifteen-year-old, were you?” Perian asked with a leer.
Brannal laughed and pulled him into the tub, where they eventually managed to get clean, but it was probably not the most efficient use of their time. At some point in the afternoon yesterday, Perian’s belongings had been not only delivered but arranged in Brannal’s room, so all his clothes were neatly pressed and hung in the wardrobe—a second one, which had appeared next to Brannal’s.
It was a kind accommodation and also a stark reminder that Perian had… insinuated himself into Brannal’s life, choosing to stay with him when that really might not have been Brannal’s preference. At the same time—and entirely contradictorily—it felt like this was the most natural occurrence in the world. Seeing the two pieces of furniture filled with both their clothes was viscerally satisfying. There was something so comfortable about getting ready for the day together, watching Brannal shave and laughing about his own inability to produce facial hair. The Mage Warriors and Warriors were all clean-shaven, so Perian fit in, at least. Brannal brushed a finger down his smooth cheek and pressed a fleeting kiss to his lips.
“You’re entirely fetching just as you are.”
Perian couldn’t help but grin, buoyed by the compliment.
At breakfast, Brannal announced that he did actually have work he needed to attend to. Perian had already assumed as much given that he had started the day dressing in his full uniform.
He offered his best mock pout. “You mean I’m not your sole focus all day, every day?”
“Oddly,” Brannal said wryly, “my position involves more than enjoying myself in bed.”
“You’re certain that’s not what your position is good for?”
Brannal’s expression was stern, but his eyes were warm as he said, “More’s the pity.”
Perian could only laugh. He enjoyed their time together so much, but he could only imagine all the work the other man had to do. The last thing Perian wanted was to become such a disruptive force that he was asked to leave—especially given that Brannal’s position meant that it would likely be either Brannal or the Queen who relayed such a message.
Perian actually wasn’t quite sure which one would be worse, but he was altogether certain that neither would be good. To avoid the ignominious fate of either his current lover picking work over him or the reigning monarch knowing so much about his love life, Perian did not object to the idea of Brannal actually doing his job.
“More tea?” Brannal asked.
“Are you going to ask me if I’m all right and then stare at me until I offer to leave?”
“Ass,” Brannal growled, but he poured Perian more tea anyway.
Perian wrapped his hands around the cup and considered how much more he liked today’s start than yesterday’s.
“I am fine, by the way,” he offered after a moment. “Proper fine.”
“You can keep yourself entertained for the day?” Brannal asked.
Perian raised an eyebrow.
Brannal eyed him. “Let me rephrase: would you enjoy another guide today?”
Perian shrugged. “I imagine that everyone has things to do that don’t actually involve keeping me entertained.”
“You would wind up exhausted if everyone was keeping you entertained.”
Perian grinned at him.
More seriously, Brannal asked, “Truly, though, would you like company?”
“I can get up to mischief all on my own,” Perian told him cheerfully.
He didn’t want to be a bother.
“Of that, I have no doubt.”
Smiling, Brannal rose to his feet, draining the last of his tea in several long swallows. Perian admired the long stretch of his throat but supposed that his being on his feet meant that Perian shouldn’t distract him.
“Remember,” Brannal told him, “you can go anywhere that isn’t locked. If you’re as uncomfortable with royalty as you acted yesterday, stay out of their wing. You can ask anyone to direct you if you can’t find something. And if there are any… difficulties, just send someone to get me.”
Perian liked to hope that he could manage not to get into trouble for at least one day when he was on his feet and functional.
“I’ll be fine,” Perian assured him. “Go. You’re going to be late.”
Brannal leaned over the table and smacked a kiss to Perian’s lips, and then he was lacing up his boots, strapping on his sword, and adding at least two more daggers before he headed out the door.
Perian gazed at the closed door for a long moment, not entirely able to see just how his life had come to this. He had no complaints—though the attack had been deplorable, the consequences were shaping up to be spectacular—but it still felt like it was not quite real, like he might wake up at any moment and find this had all been a dream.
Draining his own cup, Perian rose from the table. He was going to enjoy every minute for as long as he possibly could. Brannal hadn’t even suggested that Perian remain in the room. He hadn’t given any restrictions at all, just a few common sense recommendations, along with an offer to rescue Perian should he need it. Perian would endeavor not to need it, but he couldn’t deny that he was grateful for the support. He might be reasonably confident that no one was going to attack him here, but he was out of his element—and surrounded by people who could literally control the elements—and he wasn’t sure exactly what he’d find when he was exploring on his own.
A quick pass by the mirror in the water closet ensured that he looked presentable, worlds away from the unkempt version that had graced the hallway yesterday morning. Astonishing what a bath, his own clothes, and some really good sex could do to a man. He took a few minutes to redo the beads and braids in his hair, picking dark red ones that matched the red in the pattern on his vest. He’d chosen one of his nicer vests and coats, and he was pleased with the results. Perian grinned at himself in the mirror and then headed out to face the world.
He had no particular destination in mind, so he wandered, determined to prove he could manage on his own. He wound up in the library, where he browsed the huge collection, came up with dozens of titles that he wanted to read, and then realized that he hadn’t asked Brannal if it was acceptable to remove books from the room. Perian would wait and check.
He spent the rest of the morning reading tucked up in one of the window embrasures, enjoying the cozy spot lit by the natural light of the quadrangle. It reminded him of days spent at home when his father had still been alive. It felt a little dangerous to be so content in a situation that was so transient, but he decided he would enjoy it while he had it. Even if it ended tomorrow, he would have these happy memories moving forward.
He closed the book in his lap with a snap. Time for another new experience. He tucked the handful of books he’d selected to the side of the window embrasure in the hope that they’d still be here when he confirmed if he was allowed to borrow them.
Perian wanted to enjoy the sun that had been so appealing on the other side of the window, and as his stomach gurgled, he decided he could meet both needs. With only a little wandering, he found the kitchen. Although it was a hive of activity, the staff didn’t act as though his request for a solo meal was unusual or an imposition, and in short order, Perian was armed with a basket full of food, and he managed to find his way out to the quadrangle.
Spring was here, and the breeze was refreshing, especially after being inside for so long. Perian could hear the rhythmic sounds of thumping and shouts that suggested there were Warriors training. Through the screening trees to his right, he caught glimpses of them but decided the lure of nature was more appealing at the moment.
From the library window, he’d seen that the quadrangle was quartered by main paths, with training yards and gardens opposite one another. The quadrangle was huge, and the vegetation in the garden large and lush enough that he couldn’t see from one side to the other, although the castle walls towered over everything. He took another path as soon as it presented itself and soon the garden completely surrounded him.
The sounds of the training yard faded. He could hear birds in the trees and insects buzzing. There was the sound of trickling water, and the path Perian was on turned into a little footbridge that went over crystal-clear water where fish were swimming. He laughed in delight. He understood what a quadrangle was, of course, but part of his mind still wanted to insist this was a garden inside a castle. Whoever had designed it all was a genius.
Perian kept walking, not sure what he was looking for but hoping he would know it when he found it. The path meandered past more trees, past flowerbeds that were coming to life thanks to the spring sun, and Perian felt himself relax more and more as he walked. There were parks and green areas in the city, but not to match the land around Perian’s home in the country. He hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it.
At some point, his feet strayed off the path entirely. He found himself deep in the midst of the garden in front of a large evergreen bush. It was perhaps twice as tall as he was and shaped like a pyramid, the sides sloping up into a blunted point. From where Perian was standing off the path, he could see that on the side facing him, almost obscured by another bush, the greenery didn’t look as uniform as elsewhere. Curious, Perian moved to the side, where he realized that the bush actually had two layers rather than being one solid mass of growth, and there was a narrow gap between them.
Because Perian was nosy and curious, he sucked in his breath and did his best to wiggle through the opening.
He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but what he found was a little girl.
The hedge had been shaped inside and out, although the inside looked less strictly maintained. It was clearly a deliberately made space. There was grass, moss, and other small green plants carpeting the ground, and there was even a small two-seater bench tucked on the opposite side from where Perian had entered, and that’s where the little girl was sitting.
She was perhaps somewhere between ten and fourteen (Perian was not an expert in children), and if she was out here alone, perhaps she wanted solitude as much as Perian did. Perian was going to retreat, only the look on her face, something about the sag of her shoulders… She looked sad, a bit small and fragile, and now Perian had interrupted her, pushing into her private space.
She had a cluster of orange and blue beads to identify her gender in her dark hair, all of which was braided and arranged in a complicated style. Her eyes were a beautiful dark gray, but there were circles under them. Her dress was orange with blue trim and looked fine enough that Perian was glad he’d dressed nicely, although even the fine fabric couldn’t hide her thinness. He didn’t think she was altogether well.
“Hello,” Perian said. “Do you mind if I join you?” He lofted the picnic basket. “I was just looking for somewhere to eat lunch.”
He hovered, waiting to see what she said. If she told him that she wanted to be alone, then of course, he would respect her wishes. She considered him for what felt like an unnaturally long time, but then she suddenly nodded. He approached the bench and was about to sit down when she spoke sharply.
“No!”
He froze.
“My brother’s sitting there,” she told him.
He stepped away from the bench. “I beg your pardon. I didn’t realize.” He gestured at the ground in front of her. “Here all right?”
Her head tilted slightly to one side, and then her lips tipped up faintly, erasing some of the look of fatigue from her face.
“There is fine.”
Perian sat down in the best grassy section he could find not too far from her little feet. He began to pull things out of the basket and unwrap them.
“I’m Perian, by the way,” he told her.
“Renny,” she said, eying him carefully.
He wasn’t sure if he was doing something weird—were there special rules about children that he didn’t know about?—but decided that given how she’d yelled at him about her brother’s spot, she probably wasn’t shy.
“Nice to meet you, Renny,” he said, figuring good manners had to work for children as well as adults. “How are you today?”
She glowered at him. Truly, she had a very impressive glower for someone so young. Perian made a face.
“Was that not—” He cut off, trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He started over. “All right, I’m just going to be honest with you. I haven’t spent much time with children. If I’m doing something wrong, just tell me.”
She stared at him suspiciously, body stiff. “Why did you ask how I am?”
Perian stared at her, nonplussed. “Because that seemed like a polite way to start the conversation? I mean, maybe it’s just adults, and we all lie about it, but typically you’d say you were fine, then ask me, and I’d say I was fine, then we’d probably start talking about the weather or something.”
She continued to stare at him so long that he was sure her next words were going to be to tell him that he was an idiot and he could pack up his basket and go away. Only then another one of those almost smiles tipped up her lips, and she relaxed.
“I’m fine, how are you?”
Perian couldn’t help but laugh, because now the conversation seemed truly absurd, even though it really was the way many conversations started.
“Also fine, thank you so much for asking.”
Her lips twitched. “So, if you weren’t fine, you would still tell me that you were?”
“Um, it depends,” Perian admitted, continuing to unpack the basket. “We don’t know one another very well, so I’m sort of saying I’m fine to the degree that I would tell a perfect stranger about how I was doing. Maybe if it was really terrible I might blurt that out. Or, you know, if I were visibly wounded or something, then maybe we’d talk about that instead of just saying we were fine.”
“How absurd,” she said.
“It is, rather,” he agreed. “I hadn’t really thought about it before. Let’s try it again.”
“How are you?” she repeated, eyes sparking with a brightness that hadn’t been there when he found her.
“I’m doing pretty well, but to be honest, it’s been a weird few days,” he admitted. “I came to the castle unexpectedly when I was injured. I’m thankfully healed, but then I was invited to stay longer. I don’t know how long I’m going to be here now, but I’m really enjoying it so far. I’m happy to be here but maybe slightly disconcerted by the uncertainty.” He made himself stop rambling. “How about you?”
Renny hesitated again before finally admitting, “I’m a little tired. And a bit annoyed that I’m tired, because it happens a lot. I’m very grateful to be out here in the fresh air. I’m… less annoyed about someone floundering into my secret space than I thought I’d be.”
This surprised a laugh out of Perian, which made her smile.
“Did you want me to flounder off again?” he offered, pretty sure he already knew the answer.
She shook her head, the little braids that had been left free bouncing against one another. “You’ve gone to the trouble of laying out all that food.”
“I could leave it all for you, if you wish.”
She shook her head again. “I’m not hungry.”
Only it appeared she actually was, at least a little, because she soon slipped off her bench and came to sit beside Perian. Periodically, she would pick up an apple slice or a piece of bread and cheese, and she would eat as though she didn’t really notice what she was doing.
To his amusement, they did indeed talk about the weather next. Renny said it was the only option since he’d declared it the next great conversation gambit with strangers. It wasn’t long before they were talking about the clouds in the sky and Perian’s childhood wish to jump on them and climb all over the cloud animals.
After a pause, she asked, “Animals?”
There were occasional slightly odd gaps in the conversation, where Renny took a little too long to answer, but she always seemed engaged when she did respond. Soon they were lying on their backs on the ground so they could point up through the small gap at the top of the evergreen surrounding them and argue about the shape of the clouds. The sun shone down on their faces, but most of their bodies were shaded by the large bushes surrounding them.
“Only an idiot would think that looked like a dog,” she told him authoritatively. “It is most definitely a turtle.”
“A turtle monster that looks like a dog?” he proposed.
She made a face at him that made it clear she thought he was completely wrong, but they were both laughing, and Perian liked it. He might not have encountered a lot of children, but he thought this one was pretty all right.
When he noticed her shiver, he said, “Oh, you’re cold.”
Renny looked immediately mutinous. “I’m fine.”
She was definitely shivering. Perian shrugged out of his coat and laid it over her.
She looked more annoyed.
“Your shivering is distracting,” he told her.
She rolled her eyes but cuddled into the coat, which Perian considered a success.
“Next time, you should bring a blanket,” Perian suggested.
She shot him a look. “How am I supposed to sneak out with a blanket?”
Ah. Perian hadn’t given a lot of thought to why she was out here on her own. He remembered belatedly that she had said the rest of the bench was for her brother, but there was definitely no brother in evidence. Had she said that simply so he wouldn’t question why she was alone? Or was her brother not being a very good sibling?
“How old are you?” he asked.
“Old enough to find that question impertinent,” she told him in her snippiest tone, as though she was one hundred and twenty, but then they looked at one another and ended up giggling like children, which rather spoiled the effect.
“I’m twelve,” she told him when the laughter had subsided. “How old are you?”
“Twenty-two,” Perian admitted readily.
She scrunched up her nose and declared, “Old!”
He could only laugh. “Well, older than you, certainly.”
“ So old,” she told him, and they laughed again.
They continued to lie there, looking up at the clouds, something he suspected she hadn’t done a lot of before. He realized that although his coat probably helped, lying on the ground really mightn’t be good for someone who seemed a bit sickly—although there was a bit more color in her cheeks than there had been when he first arrived. Maybe eating and laughing was exactly what she’d needed.
“I could bring you a blanket next time,” Perian offered.
Renny eyed him. “Why would you do that?”
“Well, I ’m not sneaking anywhere, so I can take blankets anywhere I want, can’t I? And if I happen to want to bring one out and leave it here on this bench, who’s to stop me?”
She smiled at him, bright and warm, and he couldn’t help but smile back. Did people not offer to do things for this little girl on a regular basis? He couldn’t imagine why not.
“That would be very nice,” she told him. She hesitated for another moment. “And perhaps you could bring another picnic?”
“Certainly,” Perian agreed promptly. “Tomorrow? Around one o’clock?”
Her smile widened. “I would like that.”
“Me too,” he agreed honestly.
He hadn’t expected anything like this when he’d come to stay with Brannal, and he was so glad he was getting all these different experiences.
Besides, Brannal had an entire important position that was going to take him away from Perian, and he would do well to come up with ways to pass the time. He certainly wasn’t a Mage or a Warrior, and he didn’t think he possessed any skills that would be particularly useful to anyone here in the castle—unless you wanted to have a picnic and pick animals out of the sky.
“I used to do this with my father,” Perian said softly, not sure where the words had come from.
She was silent for a moment, before offering, “My father died.”
“Mine too,” he whispered back.
“Six years ago,” she told him.
“Four.”
“It’s awful,” she said.
“You’re not wrong,” he agreed.
Her smile was small but real.
“Thank you for interrupting me, Perian.”
“Bursting into your hidden location and trying to steal your brother’s seat, you mean?” he teased.
The amusement flickered out of her eyes, but Renny managed a smile. “Yes, that.”
“I didn’t mean—” he began, though he didn’t know how he’d misstepped.
She patted his arm. “No, it’s fine. But I should probably head back inside before they think I’ve gone missing.”
Perian could only nod, sit up, and gather the remnants of the food. They’d made their way through quite a lot of it, and Perian was sure Renny looked better now than when he’d first found her. He was extra glad to be here if her brother had failed her.
Perian rose to his feet and offered his hand, and after a moment’s hesitation, Renny allowed herself to be pulled upright. His coat slipped, but he caught it and put it round her shoulders so that it would stay on while she was standing.
“You’ll need it back,” she told him.
“You still look cold,” Perian told her. “Keep it. I can get it back tomorrow.”
She hesitated again, and then she nodded, pulling it closer around her. It was comically large on her, but at least that meant it would keep more of her warm. Perian picked up the basket.
“It was nice to meet you, Renny.”
“And you, Perian. Thank you.”
“Tomorrow?” Perian asked, just to make sure.
“Tomorrow,” Renny agreed. She went to sit down on the bench. “I’m just going to sit out here for a few more minutes.”
“I can stay…?” he offered.
But she shook her head. “I’m fine.” Then her lips tipped up with what looked like real amusement. “Really fine.”
He could only grin at her. “I’m glad. I’m really fine, too. I’ll see you tomorrow, Renny.”
She nodded, and Perian retraced his steps, carefully climbing through the bush and then making his way back to the regular path. He wondered what Renny was hiding from.