Page 13

Chapter Twelve

P erian was warm and content again, and after a moment, he realized it was because he’d woken up in bed with Brannal, an arm slung around him. They were snuggled up back to front with Perian nestled against Brannal’s chest, and he could feel Brannal’s erection pressed against his ass. Unlike previous mornings, where he would probably have rubbed back against it and tried to propose some fun entertainment, Perian was satisfied with simply continuing to lie there enjoying the man’s closeness. He still didn’t know what had triggered Brannal’s reaction, and he didn’t want to make any assumptions.

He felt when Brannal woke up, his body stiffening at first and then relaxing again, though there was still a slight thrum of tension.

Taking a stab at the reason, Perian said, “I am familiar with the concept of morning wood, and we don’t need to do anything about it.”

Brannal huffed a sound of dissatisfaction, but a bit more of that tension dissipated. Then he tugged Perian deliberately closer and nuzzled against the side of his head, and that was distinctly better.

“Morning,” Perian said to him.

“Morning,” Brannal returned. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better rested than I was yesterday,” Perian told him. “You?”

“The same.”

“So, there needs to be someone with us when Renny and I have our picnic?” Perian asked, having apparently processed overnight more of what Brannal had said yesterday.

“She needs an escort out to the garden. We reached a compromise where she would not be accompanied into the… secret hiding spot so you can have some privacy.”

Perian couldn’t help but roll his eyes. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s shortly to be the least secret hiding place in the history of ever, but thank you.”

Perian knew full well it wasn’t a concession Cormal would have been advocating for.

“We do want her to be well,” Brannal said quietly.

“Of course,” Perian agreed.

He’d been a little short-tempered yesterday, but he shouldn’t forget he’d actually known Renny for the least amount of time. It had probably been terribly insulting to imply that all the rest of them didn’t have her best interests at heart. What she’d needed had just seemed so clear to him.

After a few minutes of silence, Perian ventured, “I suppose we should get up and start the day.”

Brannal hummed an agreement but didn’t make an immediate move to get up, so Perian continued to bask in the warmth and contentment.

Eventually, with a sigh, Brannal rose, and Perian followed. And then they paused awkwardly because on previous mornings, this would have been when the two of them got cleaned up in the water closet together. And probably did other things in there as well.

“Why don’t you get cleaned up first,” Perian suggested, keeping his tone light. “Pretty sure you have somewhere to be before I do.”

Brannal hesitated for a moment, but then he nodded, leaned in to press a fleeting kiss to Perian’s cheek, and headed into the water closet.

He blew out a somewhat unsteady breath and then made himself walk out into the sitting room. He wanted Brannal to be able to get dressed in comfort, and they hadn’t fully discussed everything yet. Better to err on the side of caution.

Breakfast was already laid out for them, and Perian wondered if the staff took lessons to be able to slip into rooms and lay out whole collections of food and then disappear again without anyone being the wiser.

Perian somehow doubted it would be his best skill.

He sat down by the fire and watched the shifting flames, thinking about the fact that Brannal and Cormal could both make fire appear with a mere thought. Much as he didn’t like Cormal—and he really didn’t—he also had to concede that no matter what Renny had done to him, no fireballs had appeared. Either Cormal had been too shocked to manage anything, or he actually could control his temper when it mattered.

A few minutes later, Brannal stuck his head out the bedroom doorway.

“Water closet is free.”

He was still wearing his sleep trousers, so apparently, he didn’t mind if they crossed paths while he dressed.

“Thank you,” Perian said, rising to go relieve himself and get cleaned up.

It wasn’t quite an effortless and enjoyable morning like they’d had previously, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t learn to make this work as well. People and relationships changed all the time.

This didn’t make Perian feel entirely better, but it was a vast improvement to their disastrous encounter in the bedroom. Maybe fully penetrative sex was off the table. He was still perfectly happy to make everything else work.

By the time he was finished, the bedroom was empty, and his stomach clenched, but he resisted the urge to open the bedroom door to make sure Brannal was out there.

It was a distinct relief to emerge once he was dressed and find the man sitting at the table just like normal. He had tea, but he hadn’t started eating yet.

“Morning,” Perian said—rather stupidly given that they had already woken up together.

But Brannal smiled at him. “Good morning.” He gestured to the table. “Tea’s hot.”

And so, by sheer dint of doing exactly what they used to do, they… mostly succeeded in doing exactly what they used to do. Funny, that.

“What do you have planned for the morning? More dancing in ballrooms?” Brannal asked.

Perian rolled his eyes as he added jam to his toast. “I shouldn’t really expect anyone to keep anything quiet around here, should I?”

“Was it a secret?” Brannal asked.

Perian laughed. “Definitely not. I told Renny all about it, and I assume Arvus told Molun. He said they often go dancing.”

Brannal nodded. “It’s a way for them to unwind.” He hesitated for a brief moment, moved the scrambled eggs around on his plate, and then added, “And I believe it’s one of their preferred methods of picking up a third.”

“Ah.” Perian considered this, and nodded. “Well, you get a good idea of how someone moves and whether you have a connection through dancing.”

It had usually worked for Perian, anyway.

“It doesn’t bother you?” Brannal questioned, eying him carefully.

“That they like to play with other people? No, why should it?” Perian asked, surprised.

“Some people have opinions,” Brannal said dryly.

Perian laughed. “Ah, yes, I imagine they do. People tend to have opinions about a great many things that don’t actually concern them. Presuming that Molun and Arvus take a ‘no’ as graciously as I imagine they do, then I don’t see how it’s anyone else’s business what they like to get up to on the dance floor or in the bedroom.”

Couples were still the most common relationship configuration, but a smaller percentage of people enjoyed poly relationships. Most people accepted this practice, but there always seemed to be a group who argued it wasn’t “normal” for reasons Perian never really understood.

Brannal asked, “And if they were to ask you to join them?”

“Oh,” Perian said, surprised once more. He set down his fork as he considered. “They’re certainly very attractive, so I’d be flattered, but you and I haven’t talked about anything like that, and I don’t… I mean, I’d want to discuss that sort of thing. I, uh, kind of feel like I have my hands full at the moment with you, and I’m happy to keep it that way right now.” His eyes widened. “Uh, metaphorically speaking. No pressure.”

Thankfully, Brannal’s lips tipped up. “I know what you meant.” An expression Perian couldn’t identify crossed Brannal’s face. He blew out a breath. “In the spirit of complete honesty, I should probably admit that I was under the impression you weren’t using those”—and he gestured back towards the blankets—“with the Princess.”

It took a moment for Perian to understand, and then he blanched, his heart clenching. “Fire and water, I’m sorry! I didn’t think of that!”

But it suddenly made a lot of sense, the cold shoulder Perian had received when he’d run off to what looked like another assignation with what must have seemed quite casual contempt for Brannal when they hadn’t discussed it.

He groaned. “I feel like such an idiot.”

Brannal scoffed. “No, I’m quite sure that’s me. You behaved like a perfectly innocent person who was, in fact, perfectly innocent. I’m the one who assumed the worst.”

Perian cringed. “And I kept the blankets in your sitting room.”

Brannal reached across the table and laid his hand over Perian’s, squeezing gently.

“Truly, you behaved as though nothing whatever was the matter, just as you had every right to do,” he pointed out.

“But I never explained what I was doing!” Perian was still castigating himself.

“Because you were protecting a little girl’s secrets. I understand.” With a grimace, Brannal continued, “And in a continuing spirit of honesty, I might have gone off to dinner on my own in a very immature attempt to make you feel what I felt. I apologize.”

“You’re forgiven,” Perian assured him. “I promise to be more clear in the future.”

“I can ask questions if I have concerns,” Brannal pointed out. “Jumping to conclusions was my failing.”

Well, that was fair enough.

“Can we agree not to involve anyone else without discussing it with one another?” Perian asked.

He truly couldn’t imagine making this relationship more complicated right now.

Brannal nodded. “Yes, that seems reasonable.”

“And perhaps we could both make more of an effort to talk to one another if there’s something we don’t understand?” Perian suggested.

“You mean joint communication?” Brannal proposed, his expression turning droll. “That probably shouldn’t sound like a radical concept, should it?”

Perian laughed. “No, it really shouldn’t. Are we terrible at this, and we didn’t realize?”

Brannal’s lips tipped up. “Perhaps we are. But at least we’ve noticed now.”

“So, we can improve from here?”

“That’s the dream.”

Perian was quiet for a moment.

“What?” Brannal asked.

“What what?”

“That was a very noisy silence.”

Perian could only laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry, was my thinking too loud for you again?”

Brannal nodded, smiling. “Entirely.”

More soberly, Perian admitted, “I’d like not to mess this up. I thought maybe we could discuss boundaries.”

Brannal looked immediately uncomfortable.

“I’d rather know them than stumble into them,” Perian explained quietly. “I promise I won’t mind whatever they are.”

“That is an entirely absurd promise to make,” Brannal protested. “What if I wanted to…”

“Yes?” Perian prompted.

“Not have sex ever again.”

“All right,” Perian agreed immediately.

Brannal squinted at him. “What do you mean, ‘all right’?”

“If you don’t want to have sex, then we don’t have sex.”

Brannal sounded suspicious. “Then what would we do?”

“Everything else?” Perian said, thrown by the question. “Eat food together, talk together, cuddle together, read together, sleep together, go to the library together, probably do lots of other things together that we haven’t done yet but are still going to discover.”

Brannal was staring at him like he wasn’t making any sense. Perian frowned, a sinking sensation filling his stomach as it suddenly occurred to him—

“I mean, not if you don’t want to do any of those things, of course. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I can get another room or leave or—”

“Perian!” Brannal grabbed his hand. “You’re not making me uncomfortable, and I don’t want you to leave. I would very much enjoy doing everything you just listed.”

“Yeah?” Perian asked, flipping his hand so that he could twine his fingers with Brannal’s.

“Very much so.” Brannal gently squeezed Perian’s fingers, the touch warm and reassuring. He didn’t quite meet Perian’s eyes as he said, “I guess I wasn’t sure you’d still be interested if I need to, uh, reduce the sex while I figure things out.”

“I am entirely interested,” Perian assured him firmly.

He supposed the uncertainty was fair. Their relationship had been very physical, very fast. But Perian wanted so much more.

He suggested, “I will assume you’re not comfortable with physical intimacy right now. If that changes, let me know. I’m not going to start anything. Is that all right?”

Brannal nodded, still looking a little uncomfortable.

“Take your time,” Perian insisted. “I want you to be happy.”

“I want you to be happy, too,” Brannal assured him.

“I am,” Perian answered simply. “Much happier knowing where we stand.”

“Me too,” Brannal conceded. “Thank you for raising the topic.”

Perian sighed theatrically. “The lost opportunities for all the ‘rise’ jokes.”

And thankfully, Brannal laughed. “You can make all the jokes you want. And any physical reactions are acceptable too. I’m simply not ready to do anything about them just yet. I have some things I need to work through, and I’m not ready to talk about them yet. But you don’t need to hide from me, all right?”

Perian swallowed and nodded, reassured. “Yeah, all right.”

More brusquely, like he was very firmly trying to change the topic, Brannal asked, “What do you have planned for today?”

“I think picnicking with Renny is the only thing on the agenda. You?”

“I should go see how ruffled all the feathers are this morning. We didn’t meet before the full Council yesterday, but given the gossip in the castle, I’m sure everyone’s heard about it. What do you think about another defense lesson later this afternoon? I’m delighted you were able to pass on such a pertinent lesson, but it’s better in the long-term if you keep up the practice.”

Perian nodded. “That makes sense. I certainly didn’t learn to ride a horse by only getting on once.”

“You ride?” Brannal asked.

Perian nodded, about to say, “Of course,” before it occurred to him that in the city, it probably was not an assumption, and there were actually all sorts of people who’d never ridden.

Instead, he said, “My father taught me. It’s one of the things I miss most about the country.”

“Perhaps our defense lesson could wait for another day, in that case,” Brannal suggested. “Would you like to go riding with me after your picnic?”

Perian beamed, immediately buoyed by the idea. “I would, very much.”

“It’s settled,” Brannal said with an answering smile. “I’ll get work done this morning, you’ll have your picnic lunch, and we’ll meet after that. Perhaps two thirty? I’ll show you the stables, and we’ll go for a ride. Yes?”

“Yes, please,” Perian agreed.

That sounded like a wonderful day. Maybe despite the fact that it had seemed like everything was falling apart, it had actually broken down so that it could be built back up more sturdily. Only time would tell, but Perian had hope.

Brannal finished his tea as he rose to his feet, as seemed to be his habit, making Perian smile.

Then Brannal added the final layers to his uniform, until he looked every inch the Mage Warrior.

“Meet here at two thirty?” Brannal clarified. “You’ll need to bring the blankets back.”

Perian nodded, Brannal pressed a kiss to his cheek, and then he was gone.

Perian continued to sit at the table for another few minutes, staring down at his mug of tea. He’d meant it that he would be all right if they didn’t ever have sex again. He would miss it, but he cared a lot more about their closeness. It seemed like maybe that hadn’t been lost.

Perian swallowed around the lump in his throat, absurdly relieved, and decided to drink another cup of tea and see if that helped with the feeling. He didn’t want to simply sit here until it was time to go to the picnic. Visiting the Mage Warriors was out in case anyone was still upset. Perian couldn’t be certain that Cormal would stay with the Mage Warriors, but he hoped that if he got out of that wing and also avoided the royal one he’d stand a better chance of missing him.

There was a knock at the door.

“Come in.”

It was Nisal.

“Morning,” they said cheerfully. “Thought I’d see how you’re doing.”

“Quite well, actually,” Perian said with a smile. “Thanks for stopping by.”

“I also thought I’d offer a spot to lie low this morning if you wanted.”

Perian sighed. “I take it that means Cormal is in a wonderful mood.”

Hesitantly, Nisal offered, “It’s occasionally been worse?”

Perian couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, thanks for that.”

“Anyway,” they said, waving this aside. “We’re preparing salves today, and we could use another pair of hands, so I thought I’d see if you were interested.”

“You know,” Perian said as he considered it, “that sounds amazing. I’ve got a picnic with Renny at one, but until then, I’m yours.”

Their face lit up. “Great! Come on.”

And that’s how Perian ended up elbow deep in a vat of salve, after being scrubbed within an inch of his life, because the doctor, a no-nonsense woman named Elorinn with graying brown hair pulled back into a bun, said that the salve always turned out better with the personal touch.

“It’s nothing like Life Magic, of course, but every little bit helps.”

“Life Magic?” Perian asked, confused.

She nodded. “Lost with the Great Cataclysm, unfortunately, and with it, the ability to heal far more grievous wounds than those that can be aided by my knowledge. But we continue to do everything we can. And the salve works better if hand-mixed.”

Perian could only trust that she knew what she was talking about. And while he might think that a big spoon would surely get the job done, he couldn’t deny the fun of using his hands and arms to mix an entire vat of salve together. The doctor was the one who’d poured everything in, so Perian didn’t have to worry about ingredients, he just had to ensure they were thoroughly, thoroughly mixed together. And since Nisal was elbows-deep in a vat next to him, he was pretty sure this was not simply a joke at his expense or a way to keep him occupied.

He stared down at the vat as he mixed, watching it become more uniform the more he worked it. The doctor had already explained how the essential oils had been made from the herbs so their goodness was in the salve without any lumps.

Perian sucked in a breath as the combined smell reached his nose.

“I think this is what Brannal used on me when I was injured. It smells the same.”

“It is,” the doctor agreed. “I make sure all the Mage Warriors have it on hand for bruising and swelling. There’s another for minor wounds, though this one will work in a pinch, and a tonic for major ones. You had all of them. You had a lot of bruising, and your ribs were in bad shape.”

“Oh, did you see me?” Perian asked, surprised.

“The night Summus brought you back here, yes. To ensure you were not critically injured.”

“Thank you for checking me over,” Perian said gratefully, if rather belatedly. “I didn’t realize.”

“You’re very welcome.”

They lapsed back into silence, Perian staring down at the vat full of salve that had helped to heal him. He’d actually had multiple strangers assist him just because they could, and now, in a small way, he was helping new strangers, people he’d probably never know but who would benefit from this salve he was helping to mix together.

He liked that a lot.

He mixed and mixed, thinking about losing a whole branch of magic during the Great Cataclysm. He’d never even heard of Life Magic, and it sounded wondrous indeed, if a little too good to be true. What else might they have lost, what other things did Perian perhaps not even know about, did none of them know about, that they would never get back?

The important thing was that they had all survived, of course; they’d defeated the demons despite the cost. And Perian could still mix with the best of them. The doctor said the salve worked better when it was mixed by hand, and so Perian would give it the most personal blending it had ever received.

“You’re going to heal everyone,” Perian whispered to it. “You’re going to be the best salve ever.”

He caught Nisal’s eyes and shrugged, a little embarrassed.

“It can’t hurt, can it?”

Nisal considered this, and then they shrugged and whispered to their salve, “You’ve got competition now. Come on salve, be the best you can be.”

They grinned at one another and continued to encourage their salve while they mixed.

The doctor raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything when she returned, just inspected the salve, nodded, and brought them containers, showing them how to fill them properly.

She gave them each one afterwards.

“Oh, you don’t need to—” Perian protested.

“You worked hard on it,” the doctor said, refusing to take it back. “I insist.”

Perian couldn’t very well refuse it at that point. And there was certainly a lot for other people. Plus, Perian was living with a Mage Warrior. It was possible he’d get to use it on Brannal if the man was injured while Perian was here.

The standing clock in the doctor’s rooms tolled the hour, and Perian exclaimed, “Oh, I’d better go. Thank you again, Doctor! Thanks, Nisal!”

The doctor waved him off, Perian nodded at Nisal, and then he bolted for Brannal’s rooms to grab the blankets before rushing to the kitchen.

All activity ceased upon his arrival, the room going eerily silent.