Page 14

Chapter Thirteen

“U h… am I interrupting?” he asked awkwardly.

Everyone went back to what they had been doing, but that meant his arrival had definitely been the cause of the silence.

“I’m hoping for—”

“Yup, have it here.”

And sure enough, the woman from yesterday was bringing him a basket of food, her brown eyes kind.

“Oh, thank you so much.”

“Thank you ,” the woman said emphatically.

Uncertainly, Perian asked, “For giving you more work?”

She smiled faintly. “For taking care of our princess.”

Oh. Word of his antics had definitely spread.

“You don’t need to thank me for that,” Perian told her. “She deserves every good thing.”

The woman smiled, and Perian suddenly thrust out a hand.

“I’m Perian, by the way. I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced.”

She shook his hand. “Alona. Enjoy your picnic.”

Giving him a nod, she went back to work. Perian headed out to the garden, not entirely sure what to expect. He found Molun and a Warrior he didn’t recognize by the pyramid bush. Molun grinned at him.

“Perian, how’s it going?”

“Good,” Perian said. “You?”

“Guard duty. You know, now that we know the Princess is better at climbing out the window that we realized.”

“She was climbing out the window?” Perian said, making a face.

“She sure was,” Molun said, sounding more impressed than scandalized. “Extremely industrious. So now she has an escort. We’ll be here until you’re done. Take your time.”

“I am definitely going to take my time,” Perian told him. “Renny is getting the full picnic experience.”

Molun grinned at him. “Good.”

With a nod, Perian passed them, left the path, and climbed through the bushes with his blankets and basket. Renny was sitting on the bench just like normal, but she was definitely more tense than usual.

“Hello,” Perian greeted her.

He set out the blanket and then set the basket down on it—and then stopped, because a twelve-year-old girl had thrown herself at him and wrapped her arms around him tight, tight, tight.

He hugged her back, hard.

“You came, you came, you came.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I told you I would.”

“I was afraid,” she mumbled into his chest.

That everything would change. Perian remembered what she’d said.

“I’m not sure I’m allowed to say it in front of your mother or anything, but you’ll always be Renny to me, all right?”

She nodded, tilting her head up to look at him.

“Yes, please.”

“And I’m not going to bow.”

She made a face, scrunching up her nose. “I insist that you don’t bow.”

He made a face back. “Does that mean I should bow to show how I’m not doing things just because a princess told me to?”

She stuck her tongue out at him and plopped down on the blanket.

Perian sat down beside her and laid out the food so that a clear space was still left on the blanket.

They ate for several minutes before she tilted her head in the direction of that empty area. “Brannal told you what happened?”

Perian nodded.

She frowned. “You think he’s dead, too.”

Carefully, he said, “Brannal certainly didn’t make it sound like he survived.”

She was quiet for a moment, and then she leaned closer to him and whispered, “I’m the only one who can see him or hear him. I don’t know why.” Her eyes were bright and her voice vibrated with intensity. “But I swear he’s here. I swear he’s not dead. I swear it, Perian.”

Perian was sure he was not properly equipped to handle this. She seemed so incredibly earnest.

“I believe that you believe,” he told her finally. “But I don’t know any alive people that can’t be seen or heard by everyone.”

“I know it’s weird,” Renny admitted.

“Weird doesn’t mean it can’t be real,” Perian conceded. “Is he always with you?”

She nodded. “Sometimes, he gets sort of faded, and I can’t hear him. But even when he’s loudest, even when he’s yelling, no one can hear him but me. And he says he can’t go very far away from me, he feels like something’s pulled really tight, and he has to stop and come back.”

Perian’s father had told him that when he was very little, he’d had an imaginary friend that he’d played with, but it had faded away quite naturally. Perian didn’t actually remember it, so he couldn’t say if it had been anything like what Renny had just shared. But it sounded awfully elaborate to him, and he couldn’t imagine a six-year-old making it up.

Had it grown naturally more elaborate as time passed, or was it actually possible that something extremely odd was going on? After death, they believed that a person’s energy returned to the world, dispersing to make new life possible. But he’d never heard of anyone remaining in some sort of unseen alternate form.

“He doesn’t eat or drink?” Perian asked.

She shook her head. “He can’t touch anything.”

“So, I could actually sit in the same place as him?”

"He says it feels weird. Not like he’s being squished or anything, just weird, like something’s passing through him, all shivery.”

Perian made a face. That didn’t sound very pleasant.

“You like to include him,” Perian said, gesturing at the empty spot.

“He’s been trapped for six years, unable to talk to anyone but his little sister. Of course I try to include him.”

And that was not, at all, what Perian would expect someone to say about their imaginary friend, although he supposed that maybe it was different if an imaginary friend was formed out of a trauma.

Renny made a face. “Shut up,” she said, and then, “I love you too.”

Since Perian hadn’t said anything, he assumed that was addressed to her brother, who appeared to have something to say about the idea that he was trapped with Renny. Perian liked him already. Or this side of Renny. Either way, it was protective.

“Did you really climb out the window to get here?” he asked.

She cracked a mischievous grin. “I get dizzy spells—of course I didn’t. I just had Kee run look out and sneaked away when the coast was clear. There’s a locked side door through the connecting room where the nanny used to live. There’s a tapestry in front of it now. I have the key. And I know how to oil hinges.”

“So why did you tell everyone—?”

She looked at him like he was stupid. “So they knew how serious I was about this, of course. Plus, this way, they worry more about what I might do if they tried to forbid me from doing what I want.”

And Perian could only laugh. “Clever.”

“Thank you,” she said with a satisfied grin.

Perian pondered for a moment. “Is it weird if I ask your brother questions? Or would you rather I not say anything? You’d have to relay all his answers, and that might be annoying. But it feels weird now that I know he’s here.”

Renny smiled at him, her eyes lighting up. “You can definitely ask him questions.” She tilted her head to one side and listened for a moment before saying, “He’d like to remind you that he’s been getting my education for the last six years, so he might be a little behind.”

“Completely understood,” Perian said readily. “I promise there will be no educational quizzes, in part because that would leave me open to the possibility of reciprocal quizzes, and it’s been a while.”

Renny grinned at him. “Are you getting stupider?”

Perian laughed. “I think it’s distinctly possible, but I choose to live in ignorance.”

She nodded like this was a very sensible life choice on his part.

Sheepishly, Perian admitted, “And now that I’ve brought it up, I can’t figure out what questions are appropriate to ask of someone who’s been trapped for the last six years unseen and unheard by almost anyone. Uh, do you sleep?”

Renny was silent for a moment. “He usually sleeps when I do, though he doesn’t have to. Since he can’t go far, he says it’s easier to try to align our schedules.”

“That makes sense.”

He was very glad to hear that the Prince had not spent the last six years unable to eat, drink, talk to almost anyone, or sleep. At least he got a bit of a break.

Renny had already told him that her brother could yell and yell and no one else could hear him. If Perian believed this, then the Prince was giving answers right now when Perian asked questions. The hesitations and occasions that he’d heard Renny speaking when no one else was there also made a lot of sense.

Of course, none of it was definitive proof that Renny wasn’t just making it all up, but it was at least obvious to him that she genuinely believed what she was saying.

“Do you get to change clothes?” Perian asked curiously.

“Usually not deliberately. They’ve been getting bigger as he’s been getting bigger, though.”

“He’s—sorry, you’re—getting bigger?”

Renny nodded, looking at him like he was silly. Again. “It’s been six years. He’s twenty-two now.”

“Right,” Perian agreed slowly.

This didn’t seem like typical imaginary friend behavior. It seemed far more likely that Renny would have continued to imagine her brother the same age as when he died. But maybe, since so much in Renny’s life was changing and she was growing, she’d thought of the same thing for her brother?

“What do you look like now?” Perian asked curiously.

Renny made a face at him. “Are you asking if he’s handsome?”

Perian snorted. “Well, I wasn’t before, but now I’m curious. Are you?”

Renny made a face. “He can’t see himself, not even in a mirror, so he doesn’t know what he looks like.”

Fire and water, that was depressing.

“And he’s my brother, so I don’t think he’s handsome,” she told him matter-of-factly.

Perian could only laugh.

“But stand up, let me compare you side-by-side. Come on, both of you, up.”

Perian rose to his feet a little self-consciously and waited for someone he couldn’t see and who might or might not be real to stand beside him.

Renny peered at them.

“He’s this much taller than you are.”

She held up her fingers about an inch apart. Her eyes went back and forth between Perian and the air beside him.

“He’s wider than you are.”

Her brow twisted, and then she rolled her eyes.

“His shoulders are wider than yours. He wants you to know that he’s perfectly fit.”

Perian laughed and gestured at his own shoulders. “I think ‘slender’ is the word you’re looking for. Most men are wider than I am.”

“You’re very pretty,” Renny assured him—in much the same way you would tell a child that.

He laughed again. “Thank you.”

“He’s sort of… more solid than you. Like just… bigger looking. His legs and arms are bigger, and he’s just a different shape.”

Yeah, that wasn’t a surprise, either. If you liked lean, pretty brunets, then Perian was your man.

She tilted her head again. “Kee says he takes after our father.”

Which would give her someone to model off of if this was all made up. But she’d lost her father when she was six.

Renny continued. “Kee has dark hair and eyes like mine. I guess he’s… all right-looking?”

Perian laughed at that very sisterly description.

“Do you have any questions for me?” Perian asked.

Renny looked at where her brother was supposedly standing.

“He says not anything he can ask in front of his sister.”

And Perian could only laugh once more, because that sounded like the comment of any young man Perian had ever met.

“Well, if you do think of anything, I’m here,” Perian assured him.

They sat back down, and Perian and Renny ate. He stared at the blanket, but of course there wasn’t the slightest indication that Renny’s brother was there. If he couldn’t touch anything, then he wouldn’t be able to touch the blanket either.

“Can you touch the floor?” Perian asked. “Can you go through walls?”

Renny answered. “It feels like he’s walking like normal, but he’s not sure he’s actually quite touching. He can go through walls, but he doesn’t like the way it feels. He says it’s much easier to just go through the doorway.”

“Makes sense, I guess,” Perian said contemplatively. “I’ve thought it would be useful a time or two, but I never considered what the actual sensation might be.”

“Unimaginative,” Renny said, shaking her head like she was gravely disappointed, and they laughed.

It was a weird discussion with the new knowledge that Renny was a princess and firmly believed that she could talk to and see her dead brother. But it was also just Renny being Renny, exactly as she had been before Perian had known any of those things. She complained about Cormal and got even more graphic than her threat to drop him into the moat if he laid so much as a finger on Perian.

“Thank you for coming to my defense,” he told her. “It means a lot to me.”

“Thank you for treating me just like a person.”

“That’s exactly what you are,” he assured her.

It maybe wasn’t all she was, but she clearly needed someone who could connect with her on a more individual basis, and Perian was happy to be that person. Renny was smart and engaging and got tired easily and maybe just needed a place to unwind where she didn’t have to think about being a princess or all the things that people wanted her to do. And if that meant Perian acknowledged the brother she was convinced was with her constantly, that was what he was going to do.

“What do you do after you sneak back?” Perian asked. “I mean, formerly. I guess there’s less sneaking now.” He considered this. “I mean, I’m pretty sure Molun would still sneak with you if you wanted.”

She grinned and then wrinkled her nose. “More lessons. Some of it’s all right, but some of it’s very boring. Kee says can I please get better at the Old Tongue so he can read more interesting things.”

Perian made a horrified face. “No page-turning, huh?”

She shook her head. “If he wants to read, he reads what I’m reading. We tried with me turning the pages for him on a separate book, and he tells me when he wants me to turn the page, but it’s not great. And we don’t do it when anyone else might see, because it just causes questions and weird looks, and then no one gets any reading done.”

Yeah, no part of that sounded ideal—or like something you’d do for someone who wasn’t real. But could it seem so real to Renny that she treated it like it was real when it wasn’t? For six years?

That still seemed unlikely to Perian, but he definitely wasn’t an expert on children or trauma.

The clock tower tolled in the distance, and Renny sighed.

“Late for lessons?”

She nodded. “I’d better go.”

They’d stayed later than they ever had before, Perian presumed because she hadn’t needed to pad in time to sneak back into her room.

Perian packed the remains of the picnic back up, shook out and folded up the blankets, and asked Renny, “Same time tomorrow?”

She nodded.

“Hug?” he asked.

She smiled and leaned in. Perian had no idea who she got physical affection from, but he was pretty sure it wasn’t enough, or maybe it just wasn’t from someone who thought of her as just Renny. Did you normally hug princesses? Maybe Perian was doing this all wrong. But she had said she wanted to be Renny with him, and he was going to stick to that as best he could.

They emerged from the not-so-secret bushes to find that the number of Warriors had grown from two to four, and Molun made a face at him, which Perian wasn’t able to interpret until one of the new ones said, “The Queen would like to see you now.”

“No,” Renny said flatly.

“It’s time for your lessons, Princess,” Molun tried to tell her.

“No. Mother can’t have him,” Renny said mutinously.

“I think the Queen just wishes to talk to me, Renny.” Perian sincerely hoped so, anyway. “She’s allowed to do that, isn’t she?”

Renny narrowed her eyes. “No.”

Perian laughed. “Actually, I’m pretty sure she can do whatever she wants. She’s the Queen!”

“Not fair,” Renny protested.

“But still what’s going to happen,” Perian said, because there was no way he was getting out of this when two Warriors had been sent to escort him. And he really shouldn’t try to drag a twelve-year-old girl with him to act as a buffer when she was supposed to be doing lessons, should he? No, no, he should not do that.

“You had better get to lessons so no one reports that these picnics are a bad idea because they’re interfering with your education.”

Now she narrowed her eyes at him. “Not fair.”

He laughed. “But still true. Picnics instead of rest while they’re doing you good, but you know better than to think they won’t get canceled if they’re causing problems. I’ve never met the Queen before, you know. This might be my one chance!”

He tried to sound far more excited about this than he actually was, and with a worried backward glance, Renny finally allowed herself to be led away by Molun and the Warrior with him. Molun looked a little impressed, and Perian wondered if he was acquiring child-wrangling skills. He would definitely not go so far as to say that he knew how to manage princesses.

That left him with the two Warriors who were supposed to be escorting him to the Queen of his country. He was carrying blankets and an empty picnic basket. He’d been lounging on the ground on one of those blankets.

He looked at the two Warriors. “I’m assuming at this point, it’s ruder to keep the Queen waiting than it is to show up looking like you’ve just been having a picnic?”

They considered him like this was the stupidest thing he’d ever said, but then the short female reached out and pulled a leaf out of his hair.

The tall man gestured. “Twirl.”

Bemused and grateful, Perian twirled.

“Yeah, you’re all right,” the man said. “Come on.”

And Perian, out of things to procrastinate about, went, his stomach churning more with each step.

He’d never been in the royal wing—very deliberately—so he immediately felt weird using the entrance from the quadrangle that he’d never gone through before. This wing looked… All right, truthfully, at first glance, it looked a lot like the other wings, but it felt different, even if that was probably mostly in his head. It felt like it was the royal wing and like Perian was on his way to meet the Queen for the first time in his life. At no point previous to this moment had he imagined that his life would intersect with that of the Queen’s, not even when he’d come to stay here at the castle. She just seemed like someone who was very… other and set apart.

Apparently, thanks to a twelve-year-old girl who didn’t like to introduce herself as a princess, the Queen wasn’t distant anymore. You probably didn’t treat queens the same way you treated princesses you hadn’t realized were princesses, did you? Was there a safe middle ground?

His internal panic had the benefit of distracting him from walking to his doom. He didn’t really remember the intervening corridors, but now the guards were knocking on a door outside of which there were two more Warriors standing, and Perian knew that the Queen was inside.