Page 9 of The Lost Art of Finding Where You Belong (Lost Arts #2)

He managed to focus a little better later in the morning, enough that Onadal let him carry a practice sword again.

Perian was never going to be an expert swordsman, probably wouldn’t ever even own a sword, but going through the motions of trying to strike and block was soothing in its own way.

Today notwithstanding, he’d noticed some improvement in his ability to handle a blade and to grapple with an opponent.

And yes, despite the heckling from that over-invested group of naysayers, he would have no shame about kneeing someone in the groin if that was the best way to get away from them.

But it did feel wonderful to make progress, to actually have more abilities with which to defend himself.

“Tomorrow,” Onadal told him, “we’ll start on knife work.”

“That sounds dangerous,” Perian said, uncertain that this was a goal he should be working towards. Swords at least gave you… the length of the sword away from someone, right?

Onadal smiled faintly at him, dark eyes serious. “Anything can be dangerous. And yes, it’s in close quarters—but sometimes that’s required. You need to be able to defend yourself if someone is up close.”

“Groin?” Perian suggested.

Onadal smirked. “That is a very sensible suggestion and always something you can use if the option is available to you. But any person without a dick is probably not going to be as incapacitated as you want, and some people, by accident or design, won’t give you an opening.

Plus, even if you land center target, some people can keep on coming.

Besides, what if you were attacked by a demon? ”

“I’d scream really loud, and Mage Warriors and Warriors would come and rescue me?” Perian suggested.

Rolling his eyes, Onadal said, “In the castle, that might work, but those lesser demons can move fast despite their size. You might not be able to use a knife against a wraith or a nightmare, but it should work against lesser demons and carnalions.”

Proving that he’d been listening in, one of Perian’s hecklers called out, “Though you’d probably be too busy enjoying yourself.”

Onadal shot the offender a sharp glance. “I think you have some laps to run. Five of them, in fact.”

With a groan and a venomous glare at Perian, as though that was in any way his fault, the man nevertheless immediately started his laps.

He might have no respect for Perian, but he knew better than to cross Onadal.

Perian had seen the captain of the Warriors bring down bigger men than him without breaking a sweat.

He turned back to Perian. “You should always use any advantage you can.”

Which, apparently, in Perian’s case, meant having a knife just in case he ever needed to use it.

“If you think it’s a good idea,” Perian said a bit doubtfully.

Onadal clapped him on the back, looking pleased. “You never know, it might just save your life one day.”

Perian thought it altogether more likely he would succeed in cutting himself one day, but then he remembered just how many knives Brannal had with his uniform. He could control all of the elements, and he still made sure he was armed in multiple non-magical ways.

Surely, Perian could try to manage the smallest fraction of that competence?

Plus, it was a distraction, and he could definitely use that right now.

Then he wondered if Onadal had come up with the idea solely for that reason.

“Come back tomorrow,” the captain of the Warriors told him.

Perian nodded.

He had another enjoyable picnic with Renny and Kee, though Renny greeted him by telling him he looked horrible. Then he made her laugh as he described how absolutely awful he’d been in training and how Onadal thought that distracting him with knives tomorrow might help.

Her eyes were wide like saucers. “That is either the best or worst idea ever!”

“Right?” he agreed. “I guess you’ll find out tomorrow at lunchtime.”

She nodded, looking hugely entertained.

To Perian’s embarrassment, after she convinced him to lie down to look at the clouds, he actually fell asleep and woke up to find he was wrapped in the blanket from the picnic, everything carefully packed away, but no sign of Renny, who must have gone off to her lessons but decided he really needed the sleep.

He managed to drag himself upright, returned the basket to the kitchen, and began to make his way to Brannal’s rooms with the blanket, where he ran into Nisal.

“There you are!” they said happily, brown eyes sparkling. “How would you like to help with making salve again?” They eyed him more closely. “You all right?”

“Fell asleep after the picnic. Didn’t sleep too well last night. Trying not to be the saddest thing that ever sadded just because I’m on my own at the moment.”

They gave him a sideways hug, and he leaned into them for a moment.

“It’ll be all right,” they told him. “Distraction?"

He nodded. Hopefully he couldn’t go wrong helping with the salve.

The doctor greeted him warmly. She was a no-nonsense older woman with graying hair and perceptive dark eyes. She eyed him carefully but seemed to decide after a moment not to say anything about what he assumed was his disheveled/sleep-deprived and/or too-sad-to-be-polite-in-public self.

She made sure he was scrubbed clean, then set him to work.

Nisal started talking to the salve first this time, but Perian wasn’t about to let his salve get left behind. He’d started it the first time they’d made salve together, when the doctor had explained that it seemed to work better if mixed by hand. Perian had figured encouragement couldn’t hurt.

They spent the next hour or so telling their salves they were going to be the most amazing salves in the world.

The doctor, when she emerged from her office, looked bemused.

“We figure it can’t hurt,” Perian admitted with a slightly embarrassed shrug. He cleared his throat. “Is Life Magic really gone forever?”

They both looked at him curiously .

“I mentioned it to Renny,” Perian explained. “Just that it used to exist, because I’d never heard of it before you mentioned it, Doctor. She wants to look into it more.”

Nisal grimaced a little.

“It’s been lost for over three hundred years,” the doctor said, eyes sad. “Destroyed in the Great Cataclysm, when so many people died.”

“And demons were pushed back into their world and the breaches sealed,” Perian finished, because he knew at least some of their history.

She nodded. “Exactly so.”

He made a face. “But no one can figure out what happened? Or, I don’t know, figure out how to do it from any of the old books?”

He was probably not the first person to have had that thought.

It was Nisal who shook their head. “There are very few books about Life Magic. We’re not sure anymore if there were never very many or if they were destroyed or lost over the years.

The Mages have most of the small number of remaining books, as they have the biggest repository of magical knowledge, but we have a couple that at least mention it.

The thing is, they’re not books on how to get Life Magic.

As far as we can tell, just like with the elemental magic, you have the ability or you don’t.

And no one has the ability anymore. Even if the books had instructions, which they don’t, they don’t give anyone an ability they don’t possess. ”

The doctor said, “I once had the privilege of reading a book about Life Magic that mentioned something like ‘charging up’ before a great working. I am given to understand this is not quite like elemental magic.”

Nisal shook their head. “No. We can all exhaust ourselves, of course, and we should be well-rested, but I wouldn’t call it ‘charging up.’ Is it just a change in language, or is it a completely different process?

I think they assume a level of knowledge and comprehension that we just don’t possess anymore. ”

Perian nodded. “I guess that makes sense. It just seems such a shame. Truly no one, in all this time?”

Nisal shook their head again. “Not a single person.”

They’d been more than lucky to survive the Great Cataclysm, to only have small pockets of demons appearing in the centuries since rather than being nearly overrun by them. Losing Life Magic and so many lives seemed like a high price to pay, though.

When the doctor judged the salves had been mixed adequately, he and Nisal pulled their arms out, scraping as much of the salve back into the vat as possible.

The doctor handed Perian a towel, and he made the mistake of trying to move too fast or something, and swayed, his vision suddenly going fuzzy.

There was nothing like having a dizzy spell in front of a doctor. She and Nisal both sprang into action, getting him to sit down, peering into his eyes, checking his pulse, and asking rapid questions to try to ascertain what was wrong.

“I’m fine,” Perian told them. “Just moved too fast or something.”

“When did you last eat?” the doctor demanded.

“At lunchtime with Renny.” He considered. “I guess I maybe didn’t eat as much as I normally do. I wasn’t very hungry.”

And he hadn’t eaten breakfast.

The doctor clucked her tongue. “And do I take it from the circles under your eyes that you’re not sleeping very well, either?”

He groaned and admitted sheepishly, “I’m trying really hard not to pine, but I haven’t figured out how not to do it yet.”

The doctor’s expression softened briefly. “Well, first, we’re going to get you fed. You always feel better on a full stomach.”

Nisal immediately darted off to request food, and Perian thought it was probably easier not to protest. Plus, at that moment, his stomach grumbled. Maybe he was a bit hungry.

The doctor leveled a stern look at him. “You can be sad. You can miss people terribly when they’re gone. But you should still take care of yourself. You don’t want to be withering away or sick when he gets back, do you?”

Perian made a face. He wanted to be the picture of health so he could jump on Brannal and have lots of sex!

The doctor’s lips twitched. “That’s what I thought.”