Page 12 of The Lost Art of Finding Where You Belong (Lost Arts #2)

The terrain started to change a little as they approached a hilly area, more rocks and boulders before they descended into much denser trees.

Prince Horsey forded two streams, slowing down but still seeming determined, and since Perian didn’t have anything better to do, he let the horse have his head.

Prince Horsey slowed again as he continued to weave through the trees, moving carefully but sure-footed. He pushed his way past two trees, the needles brushing across both of them, but he made it in between.

“Hey,” Perian said, “Are you sure—”

But then he stopped because Prince Horsey clearly was sure. He’d come to a stop, and Perian looked around himself. They’d emerged onto more open ground, on the shores of what looked like a small lake. The sun was shining brightly, reflecting off the water, which was lapping on the shore.

To the right, there was a rocky formation that came nearly to the water’s edge, with a cave entrance partially screened by some trees.

Perian climbed down and patted Prince Horsey on his flank.

“Thank you. This place is beautiful.”

Prince Horsey ambled off to drink from the lake, and Perian continued to look around.

By the cave, he found evidence of an old fire pit, large pieces of fallen wood dragged round it to make seating.

It looked like it hadn’t been used in years.

Perian ducked his head into the cave and saw that it was small and snug.

There was wood stacked against an inner wall.

It looked like a few animals had probably been using it to burrow over the winter .

Perian looked out at the water, at the grass where a horse could crop, at the fire pit. He listened to the sound of the water and the wind rustling over the grasses.

Had the Prince come out here? Is that why Prince Horsey knew this place? Had Kee stayed overnight? Perian couldn’t readily imagine the Prince being allowed to do such a thing, but he had been sixteen when he… maybe died.

Perian would ask him tomorrow, he decided.

And if Kee didn’t mind, maybe Perian could show his friends this place.

It was beautiful, it was secluded, and it might be a wonderful place to get away for a little while.

It wasn’t too far a ride from the castle, not even if you didn’t have a horse who liked to ride like the wind.

Perian sat down on the ground where it was half sandy, half rocky. After a moment, he tugged off his boots and socks and moved closer so the water lapped over his toes. It was refreshing.

Maybe it was beautiful vistas like this that were going to help him gain perspective.

There was beauty in many things, not just Brannal and those hungry eyes, the willingness to tug Perian close so they could read together, those beautiful muscles, and that protective streak a mile wide.

There was friendship, sex, laughter, good food, picnics.

There was so much that made up Perian’s world right now, not just Brannal, though he was certainly an integral part of it.

Eventually, Perian went to fetch Prince Horsey, because he couldn’t stay out here all night, even if the Prince had maybe done that once upon a time.

Perian tried to pay attention on the way back, since he’d like to be able to return with or without Prince Horsey.

The magnificent animal was only on loan, after all.

The royal park could be visited by anyone, so Perian could theoretically come back here no matter what the future brought—though he sincerely hoped his future had lots more of the castle’s inhabitants in it for a long time to come.

Back at the castle, once Prince Horsey was brushed down and fed—Perian was still the only person allowed to do the former—he cleaned himself up and then considered his dinner options.

He didn’t want his friends to think they had to entertain him just because Brannal wasn’t here.

As Molun and Arvus had demonstrated yesterday, they had their own lives, and just because Brannal was away for a week didn’t mean they should be expected to change anything for Perian. They clearly had things to do.

This was, naturally, when there was a knock on the door, and Molun and Arvus arrived.

“Dinner time!” Molun said cheerfully.

“I thought I’d eat on my own today,” Perian said, the words not coming out quite as firmly as he wanted, but it was a work in progress.

Molun and Arvus exchanged looks.

“Told you,” Arvus said.

“Told who what?” Perian asked, confused.

Molun sighed. “As much as Brannal seemed to think it would be a good idea for us to get up to all sorts of adventures while he was gone, I thought you were maybe not quite ready for that.”

Perian’s breath caught. He hadn’t been expecting such up-front talk about it. Not the serious part of it as opposed to the joking and not-so-joking invitations.

Molun patted his hand. “I thought you might be reassured by the fact that we were acting like it was business as usual, picking up people who weren’t you so you’d know we didn’t expect anything from you.

” He tilted his head towards Arvus. “Other heads thought you’d think there wasn’t room for you, and it’s looking like he’s right, hmm? ”

Perian blew out a breath. “I was just reminding myself that you didn’t have dinner with me every night before Brannal went away.”

“But that doesn’t mean we can’t have dinner with you every night for a week because Brannal is away.

Yes, we like having time when it’s just us, but we actually get a fair bit of that.

We miss our friend, too, and this is the first time you’ve been separated from him.

It’s hard for you right now, and we want to be here for you when you need us. ”

“But aren’t I supposed to be figuring out how to stand on my own two feet? I thought that was why this was so hard?” Perian asked plaintively.

Arvus said calmly, “Yes, you should know how to be just you, but when support is available and you need it, there is no reason not to take it. How many people do you know who are on their own all the time?”

One. Perian knew one person who’d been like that not so long ago.

Not that he’d been completely secluded on his estate, but it had been pretty close.

He’d read books that had household staff who were practically like family, but that wasn’t what it had been like for him and his father, perhaps because the staff left to go to their own houses every evening.

Or perhaps because his father had encouraged their solitude, had liked the staff to come just to complete the cleaning or the cooking and then to leave again.

Their housekeeper had organized everything so they were rarely inconvenienced and didn’t see staff that often.

It had worked just fine when Perian’s father was alive. It had been the two of them against the world, and his father had always come up with things for them to do. He’d just… filled the house with life and meaning.

The last four years without him had been a lot emptier, and maybe that was why he was having so much trouble now, thinking that he should be able to be on his own but mind rebelling against it because he didn’t want to go back to that.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Perian admitted quietly.

Arvus reached out carefully, letting Perian see his intention, then cupping Perian’s cheek. He sighed and leaned into the contact.

“You’re not alone, Perian. And we’re happy to spend time with you whether or not you want to play with us.”

Perian swallowed. “Maybe not play right now. Still not sure how I feel about that.” He leaned his head further into Arvus’s fingers. “But if you wanted to keep doing that, I would not object.”

Maybe he was a little touch-starved without Brannal.

“Oooh, me too, me too. What do I get to do?” Molun wanted to know.

This was what led to Perian being stretched out in front of the fire with Arvus’s fingers stroking his scalp and Molun massaging his feet and legs.

No, seriously, it sounded like a euphemism for something, but he was actually really good at massage, and Perian had been using his legs for plenty.

Another knock on the door heralded the arrival of Nisal, who took one look at them and raised their eyebrows to their hairline.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“They are really good at cuddles,” Perian told them. “You can come have some too if you want.”

Their expression softened. “You needed cuddles?”

He nodded. “I seem to need lots these days, but they say it’s all right.”

“Of course it’s all right,” Nisal said cheerfully. “I thought you might want to have dinner again, but it looks like they’ve got their hands full.”

This made Perian laugh.

“Hey, my hands are still free. I could try to give you a shoulder massage or something, if you keep in mind I’ve never done one before and it might be terrible.”

“Wow, that is such a tempting offering,” they said dryly.

Perian grinned at them.

Arvus withdrew his hands. “We probably should have something to eat.”

Molun reluctantly gave up his massage. (His hands had drifted a bit high. Perian had definitely been aroused, and Molun had definitely noticed, but he hadn’t tried to do anything about it.)

Arvus pulled him to his feet, and Perian had to adjust himself.

Nisal smirked at him. “You all right over there?”

Perian rolled his eyes. “Oh, come on. If he had his hands that high up your thighs, wouldn’t you be happy about it?”

This made Molun look very proud of himself.

Arvus snorted, and said, “Food! Come on, everyone.”

Perian tied his hair back as they walked. They raided the kitchen, gathered enough food to have a small feast, and ended up having a lovely evening in Molun and Arvus’s rooms.

Nisal called it a night early, saying they were still recovering from the rough morning, and that left Perian with Molun and Arvus.

Gently, Arvus said, “Would you consider just sleeping with us?”

“What?”

“In the bed together, that’s all,” Arvus clarified. “I think you’re missing some close contact.”