Page 29 of The Lost Art of Finding Where You Belong (Lost Arts #2)

“That was exactly what you were supposed to say,” Brannal told him, affection clear in his voice.

Perian sighed in contentment again.

“However,” Brannal admitted, “I do need to start moving for the day.”

Perian nodded. “I assume you need to report to the Queen, check in with everyone, catch up on everything you missed?”

Brannal nodded. “But I think there’s time for us to get ready together if you want.”

Perian grinned at him. “Oh, I most definitely want.”

He was not embarrassed to admit how much he wanted this, and it was definitely worth it for the way Brannal smiled back at him, with warmth and heat in his gaze.

Molun and Arvus’s admiration had been lovely while Brannal was gone, but the two of them would always, first and foremost, have one another.

Perian might not be quite ready to name what he thought was between him and Brannal, but it was powerful, and in moments like this, he could believe they both felt it equally.

The two of them climbed out of bed, both of them naked and sleep-rumpled, which Perian was confident was going to lead to exactly the sort of encounter he wanted in the bathroom—but he’d forgotten one critical thing.

Naked and on this side of an orgasm, Brannal’s eyes immediately fell to Perian’s bandaged arm.

“What happened?”

Perian pouted. “It’s really not fair that’s what you concentrate on when I’m standing here naked in front of you.”

Brannal’s lips tipped up, though Perian could see the concern in his eyes, and he knew it wasn’t going to go away. But the other man tugged him closer and kissed him gently, a kiss which Perian happily returned.

“I’m very excited about every inch of you I can see in front of me. And I’m concerned about the inches that are under the bandage. Is there a reason you won’t tell me what happened?”

“Can we get in the bath?” Perian asked.

Brannal eyed him. “Do you really think that’s an effective way to change the subject?”

“I’d like to be naked and wet with you,” Perian told him, truthfully, if a little evasively. “I promise I’ll explain exactly what happened while we’re in the bath. Don’t you need to get ready for your day?”

Brannal grumbled, but he allowed himself to be convinced.

Perian really did want to be naked and wet with the man, but he absolutely had an ulterior motive. Actually, several.

“You smell like horse,” Perian pointed out as the water ran.

Brannal laughed. “Oh, I’m sorry, do you wish I’d stopped and cleaned myself up last night? Maybe waited until this morning?”

“I would never have forgiven you,” Perian said promptly, making Brannal smile again.

“I knew you’d be sleeping,” Brannal confessed, shrugging a bit sheepishly, “but I just couldn’t wait.”

“I’m so glad you didn’t,” Perian confirmed earnestly. “I thought I might have to wait all day today because I knew you were going to be busy. This is so much better.” Then he frowned as a thought occurred to him. “How did you find me?”

“I checked here first,” Brannal said, shrugging. “When you weren’t here, I went to Molun and Arvus’s rooms. And sure enough, there you were.”

“Was that all right?” Perian asked.

“Why wouldn’t it be all right?” Brannal asked. “It was my suggestion, wasn’t it?”

Perian half-shrugged, half-nodded. “Sometimes reality isn’t quite like an idea. Would you have preferred to have found me here?”

“Well, if you’d been here, I might have been able to get inside you about two minutes earlier than I managed, given I needed to go and fetch you,” Brannal pointed out, “so I would have liked that .”

This made Perian laugh. Brannal tugged him into his arms again.

“But if you mean am I upset about where I found you, no, I wasn’t. I’m glad you were with them. You made a very appealing picture, as I said last night. You looked cozy, and I much preferred that image to you being lonely.”

Perian smiled at him, wrapping his arms around his waist and leaning further into him. “Thank you.” And then, a sudden, terrible thought occurred to him, and he didn’t know how it hadn’t occurred to him before. “Oh! Did you—?”

But Perian couldn’t finish the thought.

“Did I—?” Brannal asked. “Oh, was I lonely? ”

Perian could only nod, realizing with a stomach-wrenching lurch that surprised him that he would not at all prefer the image of Brannal cozy in bed with someone else.

No, he would much prefer the image of the man lonely in bed.

Which, all right, he recognized immediately that wasn’t acceptable, not when Brannal had been so generous and accepting with Perian.

But Brannal was his , and now that he was suddenly confronted with the idea of him being with someone else, he couldn’t—

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Brannal said, arms tightening around Perian. “I can feel your breathing going wild. Perian, I was lonely every night, I promise.”

He shook his head, saying wretchedly, “But that’s not fair. I shouldn’t expect you to do something that I didn’t do. I’m not, that’s not—”

Arms tightened around him further, pressing him even closer into Brannal’s skin.

“Hey, calm down, it’s all right. Take deep breaths. Come on.”

Perian’s head was tucked into the crook of Brannal’s shoulder.

He made himself follow the rise and fall of that magnificent chest, and gradually, he was able to match his breathing to Brannal’s.

Eventually, it felt like he could actually breathe again, like the vise that had clamped his chest had let up and wasn’t pinching so tight.

Finally, embarrassed, he pulled away from the other man. He couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I’m being ridiculous, I truly didn’t mean—”

Brannal caught his chin in two fingers and gently tilted it up until Perian had to look at him.

“We didn’t talk about it,” Brannal said. “Didn’t we agree we wouldn’t include anyone else without discussing it?”

“You told me to spend time with Molun and Arvus,” Perian mumbled.

“That is not at all the same thing as saying I was going to spend time with anyone else.”

“But that would be fair,” Perian insisted.

“And you would hate it,” Brannal pointed out.

“I wouldn’t—” But Perian couldn’t finish the words.

Quietly, Brannal repeated, “You would hate it.”

Perian bit his lip and then admitted tearfully, “I would hate it.”

Oh, he was an awful partner, what was wrong with him?

“Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” Brannal said, voice intense.

It made Perian look at him again. “But how can I not want the same thing for you that you want for me? ”

“Think about it the other way around,” Brannal told him. “You like Molun and Arvus and what you do with them, right?”

Perian nodded, still feeling a bit miserable.

“And if I told you I didn’t like it, would you still do it?”

“Of course not!” Perian said, feeling a little bit outraged, because if Brannal thought that —!

“Exactly,” Brannal said firmly. “So why would you imagine for a second that I would do something like that if it hurt you ?”

Oh. A little bit of the tension leaked out of Perian. “But that’s not fair, is it?”

“It means we like slightly different things. And we should probably have discussed it before I left, so you wouldn’t have been in any doubt. I apologize.”

Perian blew out a breath. “I didn’t think of it until just now, which is definitely a good thing, because I was enough of a mess without having added that to the mix.”

Brannal looked sad. “I’m sorry, was it terrible?”

Perian immediately felt bad for his incautious words. “No, it wasn’t terrible. I mean, the first couple of days were a bit rough. I just wanted you to be here so much.”

Brannal sighed and pulled him close again. “Me too.”

“But Nisal and Molun and Arvus and Renny and Prince Horsey and the doctor and Onadal and Bennan all helped. They distracted me and reminded me I have friends.”

Brannal was silent for a moment. “Bennan… is one of the Warriors?”

He sounded like he could almost but not quite place him.

Perian hummed an agreement. “So pretty. All those muscles.”

Brannal huffed a laugh, but Perian could feel a bit of extra tension in him now, and he thought maybe they weren’t so different as Perian had first imagined in those incoherent moments where he’d thought Brannal might have been having sex with strangers while he was gone.

Perian pressed a soft kiss to Brannal’s lips.

“Not what I wanted. And like you said, we didn’t talk about it.

I mean, there is totally a rumor about me throwing you over for him because wow, the rumor mill at this castle, but that’s just because we both like to flirt.

I was actually busy trying to set him up with Chamis, the shy Warrior who really wanted him but didn’t quite know what to do with all that flirting, and it looks like everything went to plan yesterday—I think—so hopefully they’re busy working things out, and the rumor mill can have fun with that . ”

Brannal huffed a laugh, body relaxing. “So now he’s thrown you over for someone else, and you’re coming crawling back to me?”

“I guess so?” Perian said, squinting. “Not totally sure how that fits in with all the people I’ve been telling we’re going to have sex and sex and sex.

Maybe they think you just won’t notice or that’s my way of trying to distract you?

I’m honestly not sure. It’s like no one has ever seen someone flirt before and not have it end in sex or a relationship.

I like to be honest about my admiration, as long as it doesn’t upset someone. ”

“And I take it Bennan was not upset?”

Perian shook his head. “No, he’s happy to show off.

Did a number of those slow tunic and shirt removals after training, like ‘I’m so hot, I need to take this off, but I’m going to do it slowly for no reason whatsoever, oh, is everyone staring at me, that is such a coincidence, I wonder why that’s happening. ’”

Brannal snorted with laughter. “Oh, is that how it happens?”

“So inexplicable,” Perian agreed, laughing as well.

“But he was trying to catch Chamis’s attention, and Chamis figured it was just what he did with everyone , only he got nervous and shy when Bennan tried to do it directly to him, so then Bennan gave up because he didn’t want to scare him off, but that made Chamis think he’d grown uninterested, and it was just really painful to watch. ”

“So you had to fix it?” Brannal asked, sounding amused.

“I had to try. So I talked to Chamis, and last night he went to talk to Bennan after dinner, and Bennan just followed after him like no one else was in the room, and so I think everything’s going to be all right.”

Brannal pressed a kiss to his temple. “You have a very big heart.”

“Just the right size for you,” Perian mumbled against his skin.

Brannal’s arms tightened around him, and then he said in a more normal tone of voice, “I think we have a bath that is cooling as we speak. And you have done an extraordinary job of distracting me, but I’m not going to be put off any longer.”

“Huh?”

Brannal tapped the bandage on Perian’s arm, and Perian laughed, because he genuinely had forgotten, but clearly, Brannal had not.

It was actually amazing he’d let himself be put off this long.

But Perian had been distressed, and Brannal had dropped everything to fix it. He offered the man a wobbly smile.

“Let’s get in the bath.”

Brannal climbed in, and Perian took a moment to unbandage his arm and then settle in the bath, back to front, sighing in happiness as he leaned back against Brannal, his left arm up on the rim of the bathtub to keep it dry.