Page 129 of The Last Session

“You were the one watching me?” I asked, my voice dull. “From behind the purple door? And looking in my yurt that first night?”

She nodded, her eyes squeezed shut.

Catherine wasn’t going to call the police. That was suddenly very clear. All I could hope for was more answers, more info that might help me.

“Did they push you into that hole?” I asked.

“Yes.” She shuddered.

“What’s in there?” My scalp shrunk in fear, but I kept my voice steady.

“Nothing. It’s just this tiny space. I pretended I was in a womb.” She sniffed. “It made me feel better. I told myself I was waiting to be born.”

“How did you get out? Was there a tunnel?”

“There’s no way out.” She wiped at her nose.

“Then how did you get out?” Frustration surged through my chest.

“I don’tknow,” she cried. “I was in there, and then suddenly I was with you. I thought you were Grace for a second. That’s why I tried to… I was upset. They tricked me. They pretended Grace was going to go, and then they pushed me.Shepushed me.” Catherine nibbled at her thumbnail. She looked suddenly young, a brooding preteen.

“So you have no memory of leaving the tiny space,” I prompted.

“It must’ve spit me out.” She pulled at a greasy lock of hair. “I wasn’t the right one.”

“Catherine.” I could hear the quiet desperation in my voice. “You’re a good person. You don’t want to do to me what Grace did to you, right?”

Catherine just stared at the table, the ends of her hair in her mouth.

“Why are you listening to Moon and Sol?” This was my last chance, my Hail Mary. “They lied to us in that other lifetime, right? Why is everyone trusting them now? They’re bad people. We know that.”

“But it really happened.” Catherine glanced at me, her face haggard. “You remember it. In the desert, that spirit offered us the choice.”

“But how do you know I accepted it?” My voice rose. “I didn’t get to that part because I fucking passed out!”

Catherine stood, stumbling slightly. “Because you’re a better person than me.”

“I’m not!” The exasperation jumped out, an uncaged animal. “I’m a self-involved piece of shit just like you! Just like everyone here!”

“I’m sorry.” Catherine backed towards the doorway. She was shaking, her shoulders vibrating. “I’m sorry, Thea. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Catherine, wait!” I was half standing, straining against the handcuff. “Wait, just talk to me! Stop, just—”

She shut the door quietly behind her.

52

The light changed, golden-hour hues painting the walls. I stared at the ceiling. I’d had one last chance to convince Catherine to help me, and I’d blown it.

My last molecule of hope was Karen. They’d kept her—by force?—from attending Grace’s session. So where was she now? Locked up? She might be just as trapped as I was.

Eventually, my brain went quiet. I watched a fly buzz around the room as if looking for something. Once in a while I heard the faint mutter of voices out the open window. So quiet here. A pity that I could scream and scream, my voice extending for miles, and never be heard.

The door opened; Jonah appeared. I sat up and painted on a smile, survival energy engaging my facial muscles.

He sat at the table. “Hey.” His voice was solemn. “We don’t have much time. But I just wanted to talk to you. To—apologize.”

“For what?” I asked, as if I didn’t know.