Page 114 of The Last Session

A few minutes later, I managed to sit and grab my pill packet from my purse. As I dry-swallowed Tylenol, a new thought struck me: Had Catherine had sex with Moon and Sol too? Was everyone having orgies? Steven? Grace? Karen? I truly had no idea.

As I managed to dress, I considered how I’d been able to have orgasms—multiple ones—without any thoughts of Adam or the shed.

Moon’s earnest voice arose in my mind:The pattern’s broken.

Was it broken for good? I felt a tiny spark of wonder, which was quickly submerged by foreboding. Even if Moon and Sol were getting results, the paths there were not just unethical—they were totally out of control.

I showered in the covered stall; I was done being naked. I didn’t see anyone until I dressed and left my yurt to find Moon approaching with a coffee.

“Good morning!” she trilled. Beyond the dark circles under hereyes, she looked none the worse for wear. She wore short black bike shorts that showed off the tattoos on her tan legs.

Damn. All I wanted to do was get to Catherine. My head felt slightly clearer. We were leaving today; I was sick of this sneaking around. Moon and Sol couldn’t hold any of us here against our will.

“Hey.” I hesitated, but she barreled into me, grabbing me in a hug.

When she broke away, her gold eyes were wide and curious. “How you feeling, sweetie?”

I inwardly blanched at the term of endearment as I took the mug. “I’m okay.” I knew I didn’t look okay; I looked like a hungover mess. How was Moon able to drink the amount she did, especially as such a small person, and look fine? She wasn’t even wearing sunglasses!

“Good.” She put her hands on her hips. “Let’s have a chat?”

“Um, sure.” I followed her to the veranda. Images from the night before flashed through my mind. I couldn’t believe the things I’d done to her. The things she’d done to me. We’d been wild creatures, handling, sucking, and biting each other.

“So.” She exhaled as she sat. “I wanted us to have an opportunity for aftercare, to check in about everything. What happened last night—that’s not something we have a habit of doing with new guests. But it just felt…” She spread out her hands. “Right. Didn’t it?”

My head still felt gripped in a vise. “I… um, yeah.” I wasn’t going to argue with her, not when I was planning on leaving as soon as humanly possible.

“Normally, we do that type of healing work very intentionally.”

“So you’ve done that before.” Of course they had.

“It’s rare.” She shrugged. “But sometimes people do need hands-on sexual healing. I’m sure you know that a lot of people hold trauma in their genitals. As you’ve seen from our sessions, the work has to be really tailored to the client.”

So Moon and Sol were sexual surrogates. I’d come across the term at school but had had to google it that night to make sure I’d heard correctly. While controversial in a lot of circles, it was a type of therapy that could include sexual contact, in order to help people with sex and intimacy issues.

“What happened last night…” Moon shrugged. “None of it was planned. But I hope it provided some healing for you. Being invited in instead of shut out. Being praised instead of verbally abused.”

“A corrective experience.” I stared at her. “That’s what you mean, right?”

“Exactly.” She grinned. My mind whirred; Moon actually seemed proud of having done “work” when we were wasted together. She was more off the rails than I’d suspected.

“But I want you to know that it was more than that.” She grabbed my hand. “I mean, you felt it, right? How deep it was? Because we’ve done it before. Thousands of years ago.”

“We’ve done…”

“We were all together. The four of us.” She nodded. “Last night proved that you and Jonah are both who we thought you were.”

“But…” I paused, confused. “Was it Catherine who had the affair with the pharaoh and the guard? Or me?”

“I believe it was you.” Moon paused. “But I’m not totally sure. It’s hard to differentiate. You know, I think in certain lives you’ve been in the same body. Like the collective unconscious, our soul energy exists in a great pool. Souls rise up and melt back down, merge and separate. Have you ever felt like something or someone is missing? It’s because in some lives you and her are split into two.”

Of course I felt like something was missing: it had fueled my search for a soulmate up until now. But didn’t most people feel that way?

“We do all feel like that sometimes, because we’ve been separated from the pool.” Moon’s answer to my unspoken question jarred me. “But with you two, it’s different. It’s why you were drawn together at the hospital. It’s why you followed her all the way out here based on nothing. It’s why you couldn’t stop watchingStargirlat thirteen.” She shrugged. “You’re two sides of the same coin: Catherine’s the entertainer, outgoing and impulsive. You’re the gentle artist and healer. It makes so much sense thatyouturned out to be the savior.”

“Moon.” I took a deep breath. It was time to be honest, to stop playing games. “I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m going to be able to stay.”

Her smile disappeared. “What?”