Page 128 of The Last Session

“Stop.” Moon snatched the plate and backed away. “I’m not delusional, Thea. I see how things actually are. I’m living in more reality than you could possibly comprehend.”

“Oh yeah?” I scoffed, unable to hold my anger back any longer. “Does that reality involve a fake Mexican accent?”

Her eyes widened with surprise.

“You’re an impostor, Moon.” The words poured out. “For whatever reason—probably to sound more ‘exotic,’ to help you stand out, to grow your business—you’re doing something wrong. Stealing something that doesn’t belong to you. Do you know how offensive that is? Do you know what people are going to say when they find out?”

Her face was blank.

“Mikki’s writing a huge exposé at this very moment,” I went on, my voice loud, filling up the room. “You’re going to be a laughingstock. A meme! People will dig up every morsel they can about you. And at some point, someone will figure out all this insane shit you’ve been doing. To Catherine. Grace.” I shuddered. “To me.”

Moon walked to the door, and when she turned around, she was smiling sweetly, her golden eyes glowing like a flame. “What have I done?” Her voice was accentless—no, it had a faint Southern twang—and it dislodged a burst of fear in my chest. “I didn’t make anyone come here. Y’all showed up of your own accord. You know what needs to be done. I’m just here to give you a little push.”

51

WARNING: THIS IS PRIVATE!!! KEEP OUT OR YOU WILL BE CURSED!!!!!

Hours after Moon had left, sick of my pulsating anxiety, I’d pulled out the diary and started reading through. One entry stood out, from a few weeks after we’d started communion classes with Pastor John.

Something crazy happened today. Pastor John got MAD!! He is usually so cool and calm but he LOST IT. So PJ was talking about Jesus’s decision to sacrifice himself to save us and Adam was laughing with Scott and PJ said: Is this a joke to you?? And Adam said no and PJ YELLED: You think it’s so funny!! Would you have had the guts to do what Jesus did!! Knowing how horrible it would be!! Would ANY of you do it!! No one said anything. He said: I didn’t think so. Then he went back to teaching. But I thought about his question for the rest of the day. WOULD I have done it? Probably not. But maybe? I don’t know. It made me truly understand how brave Jesus was to go through so much pain, knowing he could stop it at any time but dying anyway to save us.

I paused, looking at the flat blue sky outside the window. Was this where my martyr tendencies had originated from? My wanting to help Catherine so badly that I’d stayed in a clearly threatening situation at the Center? Had she sensed this trait in me in the first place?

The door opened. I shoved the diary behind me.

Catherine peered in.

“Hi.” I tried to keep my voice soft, even as my heart thumped in my chest. “Come in.”

She walked in slowly, uncertainly, like a toddler just starting to use her legs. She held up a bag. “I brought you some granola.”

“Great. So, listen.” I pressed my hands together, feeling like an elementary schoolteacher trying hard to hold it together. “I need you tocall 911. You can use the SOS function. I can show you if you bring me a phone.”

Catherine slumped into a chair at the table. Her eyes were red, her cheeks flushed. She tossed the granola bag, which landed by my feet.

I tried to smile, knowing it must look like a scared rictus. “Can you do that, Catherine?”

“I’m sorry.” She lowered her head into her arms. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just get—”

“No.” She picked up her head, wiped at her wet face. “I wanted to be wrong, you know. I prayed in here every day that you wouldn’t show up. But I knew you would. I shouldn’t have left that note. I shouldn’t have done it.”

“So thatwasyou sending me a clue?” I asked.

She nodded. “But even after you got here I wanted to be wrong.” Her lips pulled down, a sad clown face. “I searched your room and took the diary so Moon and Sol wouldn’t get it. But it proved who you were. So I started praying that you’d leave. But when they brought you to my room, when I saw you, I knew. I knew it was too late.” She shook her head. “I should’ve known you wouldn’t leave, no matter how many times I told you. But I wanted to protect you.” She curled into her lap and sobbed.

“Thank you.” I tried to make my voice as soothing as possible. “Thank you for trying to protect me.”

“But…” It took her a minute to be able to talk. “I couldn’t. I couldn’t get you to leave because you were worried about me.”

And it was true. Ihadbeen worried about Catherine. But as I watched her crumpled-over body, a new surety arose: it hadn’t been purely that which had kept me pinned here.

So what else was it? Had I been so excited to jump into a juicy mystery that I’d ignored danger at every turn? So bored with my life I’d jetted off on a wild-goose chase of a celebrity I didn’t know? So ridiculously overconfident that I’d imagined myself to be her sole savior?

I could’ve gotten in the car with Dawne, Mikki, and Ramit. I could be in New York at this very moment.

But no. I’d been seduced by Catherine’s mystery, then literally seduced by Jonah, Moon, and Sol. It had feltgoodto be called special, even by people who were clearly not well.