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THIRTY-FIVE

AIDEN

“Honey, I’m home,” I yell in my best Ricky Ricardo voice. Lennox is on the couch, curled up with her Kindle.

She tips her head and smiles at me. “How was your game?”

“Skate,” I say, reminding her of the lingo again.

With a grin, she goes back to her book. The move is comforting. Because we’ve fallen into a routine. She knows precisely what I’ll do next. I’ll saunter up to her and drop a kiss to her forehead, then throw myself over the couch and snuggle with her while she reads. She’ll make it another few pages before I finally annoy her enough that she can’t concentrate, thus she’ll pay attention to me. From there, we’ll figure out what we want for dinner.

This is what we’ve done every night since I moved in a few weeks ago. Dinner at home some nights, restaurant hopping on others, ensuring we’re being seen fawning over one another. Though the fawning doesn’t end when we close the door to the apartment. She’s just as affectionate.

Most nights, we barely make it back home before she’s ripping my clothes off and talking me into trying something new. Toys, plugs, ass play—you name it, and the girl wants to do it. And I’m all about it.

I pull her feet onto my lap and dig my thumbs into one heel. “What are you in the mood for tonight?”

With a moan, she leans back, eyes closed. “I was thinking we could try anal tonight.”

I cough out a laugh. “I meant for dinner.”

She gives me a lazy smile and shrugs. “Oh, I guess steak is fine.”

I drop her foot and pull her onto my lap. “Nah. I like your first suggestion better. We’re staying in, and I’m having your ass for dinner.”

Licking her lips, she holds my gaze. Captivated. That’s what I am when she looks at me. “Takeout it is, then.”

Grasping her face, I pull her in for a deep kiss. It’s intoxicating. She’s intoxicating. Doing this whenever I want is heaven. There’s no pressure to force a smile, to force joy, when I’m with her. I can simply exist. Be myself. I should probably be worried that I feel most at ease with myself when I’m ‘faking’ with my ‘fake girlfriend’ but I’m not going to think about that right now. With one final chaste kiss, I pull back and smooth out her hair. “Did you see the article Jolie published on their website that mentioned Josie’s party?”

I’m so fucking proud, my heart is bursting.

Lennox rears back, wearing a confused frown. “What?”

Shifting, I pull my phone from my pocket. “They did a piece about kids’ birthday party ideas, from simple to extravagant.” I eye her. “Clearly, yours was deemed extravagant.”

Her cheeks are as pink as her hair, and her blue eyes shine with excitement. “You’re not fucking with me?”

I tip my head as I hand her my phone. “You think I’d do that?”

As she reads the article, surprised delight takes over her expression. “Holy shit, Aiden, this is amazing!”

“Your boss even sang your praises.” I point to the section where Serena talks about how they’d never considered children’s parties before, but that Lennox had a vision. She went on about how they’d be happy to create memories like this for more of the children of Boston.

Clutching my phone to her chest, Lennox beams so brightly it’s hard to look at her. “I can’t believe this.”

“Why? The party was spectacular. You should be recognized for all you did. And after Gavin’s wedding this weekend, everyone is going to be talking about you again. This is only the beginning, Lex.”

She bites her lip, a hint of uncertainty flashing in her eyes. “You really believe I can do this?”

“Of course I do. You can do whatever you put your mind to.”

She blinks at me, her lips parted.

“What?”

Ducking, she lets out a slow breath. “It’s just rare to have someone believe in me.”

Fuck, the genuine hurt in her tone eats at me. Has anyone ever believed in this girl? Is that why she’s so flippant? I guess I can relate. I can look back now and see how oblivious I was to some of what Lennox went through when we were in high school. I had hockey, my brothers, and Lennox. I had everything I needed.

But maybe she only had me.

Was I so distracted by my own wants that I failed at supporting her? Clearly, I made mistakes, because one minute, we were happy, and the next, she was gone.

I’m still lost in the past when she continues. “The only person who ever believed in me, besides you, was my grandmother.”

I angle in closer, eager to digest every morsel Lennox is willing to share with me. I want every detail of her life while we were apart. If I could crawl inside her brain, I would. “How so?”

She leans back against the cushions and lets out a long exhale. “After graduation, she knew I wasn’t ready for college.”

I nod. “And then you decided to spend the year in Europe.”

For years, we’d planned to go to college together. I had to report early for hockey, but her plan was to follow me that fall. The life we imagined was far different from this reality. We’d probably be married by now, with kids.

I choke back the devastation threatening to swamp me and press on. This is as close as we’ve come to a discussion about the breakup. “Are you glad you took that year off?”

Lennox laughs lightly, though there’s nothing funny about this conversation. Because what I’m really asking is this: Does she regret ending things? Does she regret our breakup at all?

“I should probably have taken two years. Maybe ten. I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up.”

“I thought you loved what you do?” I ask, genuinely perplexed.

Her smile quickly morphs into a frown. “Aiden, I plan parties for a living. It’s nothing, really.”

“You bring joy to people.” Unlocking my phone screen, I hold the device up, showing her the picture Jolie published along with the article. “You see Josie’s face right there? You did that.”

She shakes her head, even as her eyes brighten. She wants it to be true. She wants to matter. If only she could see herself the way I see her. She’d know she matters so much that it makes it hard for me to breathe. Hard for me to contemplate anything other than how I can show her she matters. With my hands. With my lips. With my heart.

“That was a good day,” she says softly, studying the photo of Josie and the girls in front of the carousel.

In this moment, I know with absolute certainty that I’m in trouble. Because as much as I love loud, bubbly Lennox, the one who teases and sasses me—the one who walked naked through this apartment to taunt me into admitting I couldn’t handle faking with her—I love this Lennox too. The one she hides beneath the loud. The one she doesn’t let anyone see. And this Lennox, just like every other version of her, feels a hell of a lot like mine.

I vow here and now to use these next few months, while she’s mine, to prove to her how good we are together. I vow to use this time to help her fall in love with herself. To fall in love with this city. And hopefully, if I’m lucky, to fall in love with me.