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TWELVE

AIDEN

“To the window,” I shout.

“To the wall,” Daniel replies as the biscuit flies in his direction.

“To the left, to the left,” War sings, but Daniel is already rushing forward.

“Wrong song,” I holler as he slaps the puck into the empty net.

“If you’d stop changing what the songs mean, then I’d know where to be,” War grumbles, skating past me to get the puck so we can line it up again.

“If we don’t change it up, then people will figure out what we’re saying,” I point out.

“Not even I can figure out what you’re saying half the time,” War groans, shaking his head. “Believe me, no one is going to remember the lyrics you make up and know what play to expect.”

“Except you. You need to.” I swipe the puck from him. Then, in my best Lizzo voice, I start the next play. “I do my puck toss, check my stick.” I aim for Daniel, who is already on the move. “Playboy, how you feeling?”

He grunts, ready with a slap-shot. “Feeling good as hell!”

“Not sure why you’re feeling so good taking shots at an empty net,” Brooks booms from behind us.

War spins to face him. “By all means, give us something to hit.”

Propped up against the boards, Brooks shakes his head. “We’ve still got a month before preseason starts. Let’s grab lunch instead.”

“Nervous you can’t handle us?” Daniel throws back, lifting his chin.

Brooks merely chuckles. “We all know I can handle any one of you. But I promised Sara I would take a real break.”

“And whatever Sara wants,” Daniel starts.

“Sara gets,” War finishes.

I laugh. My brother is so whipped, and he doesn’t even care.

“Exactly,” he says. “Now, are you going to stay here and sing, or can we grab some food?”

Both of my wingers look at me. They’re my closest friends, but here, in this arena, they know I’m in charge. It’s a responsibility I relish and, quite frankly, need. While everyone else is happy when the season comes to an end, especially after a grueling Stanley Cup run, I find myself coming out of my skin.

Darkness settles in far too easily when I’m not busy. I meet with a therapist annually—a team requirement—who has suggested that I stick with the activities I enjoy, even when I don’t feel up to it. After Lennox appeared earlier this year, I went from annual therapy sessions to weekly. Though I canceled this week’s appointment, I am following my other routines—namely avoidance and hockey. “Yeah, let’s grab food.”

Half an hour later, we’re seated at a round table at a local pub.

Brooks bumps me with his elbow. “How was the cake tasting?”

My chest tightens as memories of yesterday flood me. Outside of being on the ice, I feel more comfortable sitting beside Lennox than anywhere else. “It was interesting.”

War spins the amber bottle in front of him slowly. “Interesting?”

With a long pull of his beer, Brooks leans back in his chair. “Heard Lennox hid out in the bathroom. She and Sara kicked me out of my own apartment last night so they could eat cake and talk. There were a lot of whispers and giggles before that, though.”

I can’t help the smirk that spreads across my face. “She may have mentioned something about orgasms. Her face went beet red, and then she disappeared into the bathroom.”

“How the hell did orgasms come up in conversation during a cake tasting for”—War air quotes with his hands—“your wedding to another woman?”

I smirk. “I asked her if she was having a good time. Instead of responding, she stared off into space, so I asked what she was thinking about.” I chuckle. “And that’s the answer she gave me.”

Laughing, Daniel taps his beer bottle against mine. “See? You still got the magic touch.”

“It’s the glitter dick,” War says with a smirk.

Daniel immediately deflates. A bunch of us went out and got piercings before Daniel joined the team, and he’s been jealous of it since he found out.

I nearly chickened out, but the only way to get out of it was to give him a truth. And the question he asked? Yeah, there was no way I was admitting the truth. So a Jacob’s ladder it was.

I shift in my seat, remembering the pain of the entire ordeal.

War clears his throat. “When did you and Lennox break up?”

“Right before college.” I avert my gaze and pick up my beer to give myself something to focus on.

“Why?” asks Hall.

Such a damn good question. It’s one I still can’t answer. How did I go from being Lennox’s whole world to being no one in the blink of an eye? How did she go from someone whose every thought I could read to a stranger I’m conning into spending time with me? We were best friends first, and now we’re acquaintances at best. It’s ridiculous how the universe plopped her back into my lap like this. What are the odds that she’d become best friends with a woman who would later become my brother’s fiancée?

Slim to none, that’s what. Yet I’m not surprised at all.

Lennox Kennedy was always meant to be mine. My soulmate, my better half, the person who made even my darkest moments feel light.

But saying all of that would raise a hell of a lot of flags, especially when it comes to the depressive thoughts that plague me. Thoughts I’d never share with my guys. So I affect my most casual response and shrug. “Why does anyone break up after high school?”

War smirks.

“Aw, Lep,” Hall says. “We have more in common than I thought.”

We don’t.

I’m not a playboy, and I never could be. I’m a one-woman man. Namely, Lennox’s man. But allowing them to believe that nonsense is easier than explaining the unexplainable. That I have no fucking clue why Lennox broke my heart, and I’m too scared to ask her.

Brooks rolls his eyes. He, more than anyone, knows I did not do the breaking up, but he’d never spill that secret. He’s a gentle giant who is always the most intuitive person in the room.

Apparently, my feelings aren’t the only ones he’s considering, though, because his next words have the blood in my veins running cold. “Sara hasn’t asked me point-blank about your feelings for Lennox or the wedding, but when she does, I won’t lie. So what the hell is your plan?”

“I just need a few more days,” I grumble.

A few more days with Lennox. Hanging out, reminding her of the past, reminding her that she once loved me. At least I think she did. I know I loved her.

Love her.

Fuck. I’m so screwed.

“And then what?” Daniel asks.

My brother smirks. “Yeah, then what?”

I roll my eyes. “Cocky doesn’t look good on you.”

A dark chuckle rumbles out of Brooks. “Just tell her soon.”