Page 16 of The Lady Was Lying (Greydon #3)

Fleeing London had worked before. When scandal had threatened during her season, Sebastian had bundled her into a carriage and sent her away. The urge to misbehave had faded once she was away from London, and she’d eventually convinced herself she was happy.

Her behavior over the past couple of days confirmed she wasn’t as happy as she’d thought.

Apparently, unhelpful urges had been simmering below the surface all these years, waiting to re-emerge and ruin everything.

As soon as she had agreed to return to society for Jane’s ball, she’d felt the shift inside of her.

She’d tried to control it, but she had failed.

Breaking her word to Sebastian.

Kissing a stranger in a public place.

Sneaking into the duke’s carriage, deciding she’d seduce him no matter the cost, and then almost following through.

She was perilously close to regressing into her former self—a foolish girl who lashed out because it was easier than facing her faults. Luckily, she was older now. Wiser too. And she was aware enough to recognize her behavior for what it was.

An expression of dissatisfaction with herself.

She swung her legs out of bed and rose to her feet. It was high time she took responsibility for her actions. “I’ll seek an audience with Sebastian once I’ve finished my toilette. He will send me home forthwith.”

Jane gasped. “No. Please don’t. I’ll stop badgering you. No more vexing, either.” She clenched her hands in front of her chest and pleaded, “Please stay. I don’t want you to go.”

“Whyever not?” Until the last month, they had not been particularly close.

“Because I need you here. Louisa abandoned me, and when I see her, she doesn’t want to talk about my debut.

I respect her decision to avoid the bustle of the season until next year when it is her turn, but I miss her companionship.

” Jane and Louisa were close in age and had been thick as thieves for most of their lives.

The changing of their situations this season seemed to have driven a wedge between them.

Jane paused and then whispered, “I am lonely without her.”

Belinda was familiar with loneliness, and Jane’s quiet admission flayed her to the core. Overwhelmed, she took a step backward. “I am not Louisa.”

“I know, but”—Jane bit her lip—“I trust you. You won’t allow me to make a mistake.”

Belinda blinked. She had made a plethora of mistakes . So many mistakes.

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Sebastian is protective of us. He won’t let me marry someone who is unworthy, but you—your standards are higher.

More absolute. You’d make a scene at my wedding ceremony if you thought I had chosen poorly.

You aren’t afraid of scandal. You aren’t interested in titles.

And your loyalty has to be earned.” Jane reached out and gripped her hand.

“You cannot abandon me. Not now when I need your guidance.”

Belinda was speechless.

She’d always seen herself as the sibling whom everyone tolerated, and while she’d known she was loved, it had never occurred to her that she might be respected too.

“If you stay, I promise I’ll stop pushing you to think about your own prospects,” Jane added.

“I won’t try to convince you to go to any other balls or soirees with us, and I won’t badger you about the duke, even though I can tell you’re curious about him.

” She inhaled and exhaled slowly. “Maybe in return, you could join us when we stay home, and if I fancy a particular gentleman, I could bring him around and you could…maybe you’d be willing to meet him and offer your unvarnished opinion. ”

Belinda’s eyebrow shot up. “My unvarnished opinion?”

“Your honesty is your finest quality.”

Belinda wanted to cry. It had been years since she’d felt such a ridiculous influx of emotion, and there wasn’t anything she could say, except—“Of course I’ll stay.”

“Thank you. You won’t regret it. I promise.”

Jane had no control over Belinda’s regrets, but since Belinda had more than a few regrets already, she forced herself to smile. “I’m happy to help.”

Jane squealed and clapped her hands, bouncing on the bed. “Once I’ve secured a husband, you can return to your reclusive ways as long as you promise to call on me with regular frequency.”

Reclusive was not exactly how Belinda saw herself. She preferred selective. “I will look forward to calling on you once you’re married.”

Hopefully, she’d be able to fulfill that promise sooner rather than later. She wasn’t sure how long she could be an attentive sister before she did something foolish.

Perhaps it would be wise to ask Sebastian for help. Not to send her home. Just to watch over her.

* * *

The study was the one room in the townhouse that had little feminine influence.

Decorated without any input from the women in the family, it was almost stark, with nothing but dark wood and oversized furniture.

Sebastian spent a portion of nearly every day sitting behind the massive desk and managing the earldom and its various interests.

Belinda did not have a clear idea of what that entailed, but she’d always assumed that whatever it was, it took precedence over her, so it was unusual for her to seek her brother’s attention while he was working.

“I need to speak to you,” she said from the doorway.

Elbow deep in paperwork, he dropped whatever he’d been reading onto his desk. “About?”

“I was considering returning to Greydon Hall, but Jane has asked me to stay for the duration of the season.”

He frowned. “I was already under the impression that you intended to remain with the family.”

“I did, but…” How could she explain?

“Returning to Greydon Hall is always an option and always will be. Say the word and I’ll arrange a traveling companion to accompany you.”

“You don’t need to do that.”

“What do I need to do?” he prodded, because he was clever enough to know there was a reason she had come to him.

It was difficult to keep her expression placid while she attempted to explain what she required. “When we have guests—especially the duke—it would be wise for you to keep track of my whereabouts.”

“Ah.” His eyes widened slightly. “Are you implying?—”

“I’m implying nothing. However, neither of us wish for a scandal and you know as well as I do that I can…at times…take opportunities and liberties when I shouldn’t and…well…I will try not to be angry if you thwart me or if you keep me from…exploring where I shouldn’t.”

He was silent for several seconds and then he asked, “Are you sure you wouldn’t prefer returning to Greydon Hall? If you’re feeling overwhelmed, it might be the best option.”

She covered her eyes with her hand and laughed weakly.

Her brother was well meaning. She didn’t doubt that he wanted what was best for her, even if his delivery was awkward.

“I cannot leave now. You have my word that I will do my utmost to avoid sticking my tongue down any throats if you give me your word that you will do your utmost to keep track of me.”

Sebastian winced and leaned forward slightly. “From the very first day I brought you to London, I’ve attempted to keep track of you, but I don’t have the best history of succeeding. I will certainly try to do as you ask, but I’m much better at catching you than circumventing you.”

“I’m aware.” Remembering the things he’d seen made her squirm all these years later.

Anger had made her defiant, and it had taken far too long for her to understand that she wasn’t angry with Sebastian.

It had taken even longer for her to accept that he cared about her.

“It’ll be easier now that you have my cooperation. ”

“Will it?” he asked. “You disappeared from the ball, and I was unable to locate you. Just because you went safely to your bedchamber doesn’t change the fact that you vanished. You’re very elusive when you want to be.”

Disappearing was better than the alternative. “I don’t want to be elusive anymore.” She could not stress it enough. “That’s why I’m asking for your help.”

“Did something happen?” he asked tentatively. “At the ball? Or since?”

“No.”

She could tell Sebastian about the duke and the garden.

She could even tell him about the carriage or the hallway.

For all his sternness, he would listen, and he already knew so many unflattering things about her that he wouldn’t be shocked.

Additionally, he had dealt with enough of their mother’s indiscretions before she married Charles that he wouldn’t be terribly angry. At least not for long.

She could tell him, but he would be disappointed, and for some reason, she couldn’t contend with his disappointment alongside her own.

“If something happened, I can fix it,” he ventured. “You can always talk to me. Or to Emmeline if you’re more comfortable.”

“Nothing happened at the ball. All I did was remove myself from the temptation of bad decisions.” And nearly stumbled into a worse temptation.

“Belinda.”

“You were right when you warned me what is at stake. I didn’t fully realize it at the time, but Jane is…I don’t want to negatively affect her future.”

“I know you don’t. I didn’t mean to suggest you did. It’s kind of you to stay in order to support her. I think she misses Louisa more than she expected.”

“She does miss Louisa, but I am not Louisa,” she reminded Sebastian just like she had Jane.

The corners of his mouth turned up. “I’m aware. I simply meant that she is used to bickering with Louisa, and now that she can’t?—”

“She tries to bicker with me instead,” Belinda interrupted.

It was hard enough to admit to herself that she liked being needed.

She didn’t need the complication of her brother suggesting she was nothing but a substitute.

Even if they both knew it was true. “Jane said she trusts me, and I don’t want to squander her trust.”

“That’s admirable. But don’t lose sight of what you require. And remember, you can return to Greydon Hall anytime you want to.”

She nodded. “Thank you, dear brother. I won’t let you down.”

She wouldn’t let anyone down.

She would be the best sister she could possibly be for as long as she possibly could.