Page 13 of The Lady Was Lying (Greydon #3)

“You can promise it won’t mean anything to you .”

His statement seemed impossible to misinterpret, but that didn’t stop her brain from scrambling to make sense of the insinuation that kissing her would mean something to him.

No other man had ever suggested such a thing.

As far as she could tell, men kissed whenever and wherever they wanted without the slightest care for whom they were kissing.

Suddenly uncertain, she paused and tried to determine how to respond. She finally settled on, “I won’t demand anything of you afterward. Once we’ve kissed, you can proceed as if nothing happened between us. I’ll even stay out of the way if you visit Emmeline or Jane.”

He ignored the comment about her sister, either not caring that she suggested he might call on Jane specifically or not noticing. “Did it ever occur to you that if I were to kiss you, it might mean something to me ?”

There was no way to misinterpret that . “But?—"

“—I’m not kissing you,” he interrupted. “Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever .”

“Not ever.” His insistence stung. “There is no need to be rude.” She had wanted a reaction, but she hadn’t wanted that reaction.

She’d known that propositioning him a second time was foolish. He’d already made his lack of interest abundantly clear, and it would be better for both of them if she could forget he existed. Unfortunately, her brain didn’t work that way. It liked to focus on the wrong thing at the wrong time.

If she hadn’t seen him again, she might have been able to forget about his rejection without being dramatic.

As it was, it seemed likely that he was going to keep appearing in her life.

Emmeline was incapable of ignoring family.

She’d probably invite him to Greydon Hall when the season was over, and Belinda would be forced to relive the moment in the garden where she’d waited for the press of his lips and felt nothing but the chill of the night air over and over again.

It would eat at her soul and claw at her composure.

But not if he kissed her.

If he kissed her, she’d know , and once she knew, she’d be able to move on. She’d never wanted a second kiss in her life. What was the chance she’d want another from him?

Theoretically possible, but unlikely.

“What does kissing mean to you?” she asked cautiously, returning to his cryptic remark from before as she struggled to figure out how she could convince him.

When he didn’t respond, she tried to guess.

“Are you worried you’ll fall in love with me?

Because if you are, you shouldn’t be. I can assure you that it’s never happened before. ”

“How would you know whether a bloke has ever fallen in love with you?” He shifted back into the shadows, hiding his expression once again. “You are frighteningly confident when you assure me of things you cannot control.”

“They didn’t fall in love with me,” she growled.

“Not sure I can take your word for it.”

She scoffed. “You can’t be worried you’ll fall in love with me. You don’t even like me.”

“Do you believe a person can fall in love from a single kiss?” he asked, almost casually.

Warning bells rang in her head, but she responded anyway.

“Generally, no. But it is possible. My mother, for instance, knew as soon as she kissed my father that he was the one for her.” It was an oversimplification, because as far as Belinda could tell, it was sex that seemed to push her mother into the realm of love, but since a kiss was a prelude to sex, it was close enough.

“How can you be sure it won’t happen to me? Or you?”

She faltered. Honesty would probably go a long way toward convincing him that she wasn’t the sort to fall in love, but she didn’t imagine revealing that kissing left her cold and detached instead of helplessly infatuated would persuade him to change his mind.

“I suppose I can’t, but my experience suggests it’s unlikely.

” She needed to tread carefully. Give him something he could believe without exposing the whole truth.

“Men have the freedom to explore, while unmarried women are expected to wait until they are chosen and…I’m not willing to wait. ”

“You want to be chosen ?”

“Not at all.” Nothing sounded more dreadful. Why couldn’t she properly explain herself? “I want to be the one to choose. It’s my future. I should get to decide what it looks like.”

Even in the darkness, she could sense the change in him. The way he stiffened and retreated into himself. “And…do you want to be a duchess?”

Duchess was the last thing she wanted to be, and an emphatic denial escaped. “Absolutely not.”

Confusion clouded his voice when he asked, “Then why did you want to kiss me? Did you know who I was last night?”

She remained silent, allowing him to assume without outright lying.

Miscommunication had never bothered her.

In fact, she frequently used it to her advantage.

It didn’t matter that incorrect conclusions were being drawn.

For whatever reason, her conscience stayed quiet as long as the words that left her own lips were true.

“If you were aware of who I was…” He shifted in his seat. “You weren’t in the receiving line. I suppose that when I stumbled upon you in the garden, you had no idea that the countess had noticed my resemblance to her father earlier in the evening.”

“Emmeline and Sebastian were far too busy during the ball to share any such revelations with me.”

“And this morning?”

“I learned of your connection to Emmeline this afternoon.”

“But you weren’t intending to join us for dinner.

Emmeline said…” He stopped as if realizing the contradiction that her sudden appearance revealed.

“You weren’t aware of my identity last night, were you?

” How had he realized the truth? Had she lost the ability to hide her emotions?

“But now that you know, you’re…” Narrowed eyes studied her.

“I’m what?” she challenged.

“You hid in my carriage.” He tapped his fingers on his knee. “Once you figured out who I was, you realized you want to be a duchess so…now that you know…you’re trying to trap me. You want to punish me for not kissing you.”

She snorted. Was he jesting?

“Trap you? No one knows I’m here, and we’re completely alone. How would I trap you?”

“ We’re alone,” he echoed. “Isn’t that enough? If your brother found us or someone saw you, you’d be ruined, and then I’d be honor bound to offer for your hand in marriage.”

She could tell he was serious. If they were caught, he would offer to marry her. No other man had ever made such an offer, even though her brother had caught her with other men more than once.

Suddenly weary of arguing, she sighed. “If you offered for my hand, I would refuse. I would never trap a man into marriage. I have honor too.”

“You do?” He sounded skeptical.

“Of course. You have my word that I will not agree to marry you no matter what anyone says about me.”

She couldn’t tell if he believed her, but he let it drop and instead asked, “If you don’t want to marry me, why are you so insistent that we kiss?”

How could she answer that question without sounding like a lunatic?

“Because we almost did, and I don’t like unfinished business. You’ve been on my mind, and when I saw you tonight, I thought I’d offer again. You wanted to kiss me even though you didn’t go through with it, and I thought…”

“Do you kiss everyone who wants to kiss you?”

When he asked it that way, it sounded foolish. “Not at all.” She was more discerning than she seemed. Not much, but a little. “I kiss everyone that I want to kiss.”

“But why?” he asked. “Courtship is not meant to start with a kiss.”

His naivety shouldn’t have been charming. “It isn’t courtship I seek.”

“Then what?”

She shook her head. They were so far from where she’d intended to be, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to lead them back.

“You cannot make someone kiss you,” he stated when she stayed silent.

“Obviously. If it was possible, you would have kissed me already.”

He snorted. “As if you could force me.”

Insulting her was not the best way for him to get her to leave him alone. It only managed to spark her competitive nature. Running her tongue along her top lip, she said, “Maybe you haven’t seen my best yet.”

“Are we truly going to argue about whether you could seduce me?”

“Whether I could?” She raised her eyebrow. Why did he insist on provoking her? Did he not grasp what it did to her? “Do you honestly think it’s a good idea to challenge me?”

“It’s not a challenge,” he countered.

“A taunt is a challenge. I don’t appreciate being told what to do, and if you keep pressing, you will find out whether I’m able to seduce you.”

“I’m not telling you what to do. I’m telling you what I would do. Or in this case, wouldn’t do.” He sunk back into the shadows and propped his boot on his knee. “You can do whatever you want. I’m simply telling you that regardless of what you do, I will not be seduced.”

Ha. Challenge accepted.

He might be able to resist kissing her now .

But he wouldn’t be able to resist forever.