Page 59 of The Impact (Parachutes #3)

Chapter Fifteen

Tahli

Gray.

Gray skies and black clouds. A storm was coming.

“I’m worried about Vin,” Tahli found herself admitting aloud. She turned from the kitchen window, finding Drew’s eyes raised from his computer screen. He was parked at the kitchen counter, and Tahli had just seasoned the meat for dinner.

“He asked me to keep the kids,” she added, narrowing her meditative gaze. “He never passes up seeing his kids on his days. Especially after traveling.”

Drew shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, well…maybe he just wants to be alone.”

Tahli shook her head. “That’s the thing. He used to be alone…a lot. When he came home from prison…even before he went there. Of course, while there. He was always alone. Then after us, he never wanted to be alone, again. So, if he wants to be alone…that scares me.”

She watched Drew type away, his expression difficult to read. Tahli commended him, because she knew it was hard. Vin hadn’t made it easy.

“Maybe he deserves it. Being alone. Feeling low… Maybe it’s his karma for what he did to you-”

“Don’t say that,” Tahli snapped, commanding Drew’s shocked eyes. She realized how defensive she sounded. She dialed it down.

“I just mean…” Tahli swallowed her defensiveness.

“Life hasn’t been kind to Dalvin. I think for kids who never felt fully loved by their mothers, like me…

it’s easier than having a mother and remembering when they did love you…

then remembering when they stopped. That was him.

That was Lola. Somewhere inside of Vin is that feeling still, of when Lola started loving something more than him. When she abandoned him.

“Then his father…he was cool…but Milo ran around. Constantly with women. He wasn’t there for Vin when he needed him.

His grandmother tried, but she was old and sickly.

When he went to prison - like grown-man, dirtiest, deadliest, most-violent prison at only 18 years old - his grandmother died, Drew.

They wouldn’t even let Vin go to the funeral.

You know why? Because the day before, two guards knocked his tray on the floor and tried to make him get on his knees and eat it.

Like a dog. He always vowed he’d never get on his knees for no one.

So, when he refused, they beat him. He fought back, which made it so much worse.

Three more guards came and held Vin down, while one punched him in his testicles.

He was afraid he wouldn’t be able to have kids after that. ”

She watched color drain from Drew’s face.

“Then they threw him in the hole. He came home to a sick father dying from lung cancer. Thank God his father had a business for him, because no one would hire him. But that money was slow, and his father’s medical bills were quicker than it. So, he reverted to what he knew.

“Then he met me. And he tried…he tried really hard to let go of all of that darkness he’d seen. All that evil he’d witnessed. That self-preservation behavior. That self-destruction, that…” Sabotage .

“Then he lost his father. He went through that alone for a little bit. That was when I met you. But when we found our way back to each other.”

Drew dropped his eyes.

“And we made Doll. Then, I watched him breathe. I convinced him when it was just us and the world wasn’t watching that he didn’t have to be so tough. I convinced him that it was okay to let his guard down. It was okay to breathe.”

Tahli swiped tears, facing the window so Drew wouldn’t spot them.

“I convinced him that the bad parts were over. That he wasn’t going to be alone again.

That no matter what happened, life was gonna stop beating him down because he had me and he had Doll and Lo and then Terran.

And I watched that heavy, Black-man weight leave his shoulders.

I know you all carry it but his…his was viciously persistent on remaining attached to him, Drew,” Tahli’s voice quivered.

“Now the mother he never got a chance to forgive is gone. And I think I’m the only person who he trusts that’s been through that.

That could convince him that no matter how alone he feels right now, he doesn’t have to revert to darkness. ”

There was a quiet of a million unspoken words. The whirlwind of the past year and a half had left all of their lives in rubble. They were still rebuilding and still getting hit.

“It sounds like you know what you have to do.” Tahli flipped her head to him, stunned…and relieved.

“Would you feel a way if I go check on him?”

She watched Drew lift uncertain eyes, knowing the truth. Knowing he would feel selfish for giving it. Using that to her advantage to follow her heart regardless. He forced a smile into his eyes that barely moved his lips.

“I trust you, Tahli.”

What was she doing? As she accelerated from 40 to 60 miles per hour, her desire to reach him before she changed her mind intensified.

It was an 8-minute drive from her new house to her old home.

An eight-minute time difference from her present back to her past. With Rihanna’s Close to You wrapping up at 3 minutes and 40 seconds, Tahli was able to play it twice.

Once, when it happened to be playing as she started her truck.

Again, when she realized how dauntingly deep the lyrics resonated.

As Rihanna gloomily crooned about her person not needing her protection, Tahli pulled into her old driveway.

It took three rings of the bell, two knocks, and a damn near pounding for Vin to open the door.

“What’s wrong? The kids okay?” His main concern, with taut brows and a scowl, prepared for defense. Or in Vin’s case, an obliteration level offense.

“Kids are fine. Vanessa took them to a church thing.” Tahli hooked her thumbs through her denim short belt loops, rocking back on her heels.

His visible concern morphed into frustration. They maintained a stare, neither backing down, until Vin grasped it. Shaking his head, he swiped what Tahli saw were too-tired eyes.

“I’m fine. You don’t gotta do this. I don’t even feel it. She wasn’t shit. …I just need a minute.”

Tahli pushed past him, breeching the home in the space under his arm.

“What the–?” Vin trailed her inside. “Aye, get out, Tahli. You can’t just be coming up in the mothafucka like you still live here. You got a new house. You forgot that shit?”

“No.” She folded her arms, back on the wall of the foyer, squaring off across from him. He didn’t want her there. Nothing was more alarming than that. “Don’t do that, Dalvin.”

“Do what?”

“Go to your dark place. Shut down. Go cold.” She watched his jaw square as he looked off. “You have the kids. You have me-”

His mocking laughter cut her deep. “Go. The Fuck. Home, Tahli.” She didn’t move.

“Fucking now!” he bellowed, pointing at the door, and her eyes watered. “I don’t want you here. Get the fuck out!”

He was worse than she imagined.

Vin walked back to the front door, snatching it open.

“Like, what are you even doing here? Go home to your fucking nigga! I’m surprised he let you carry your ass over here in the first place.”

“He doesn’t let me do anything,” she made clear.

“Yeah, and you like that weak shit,” he unloaded on her.

“Dumb ass just got in a fucking accident, and you think ‘cause the scars healed, ya stubborn ass can get behind a wheel in the rain again. And his bitch-ass fucking lets you. Should’ve told me you wanted new floormats, Tahli. Would’ve been cheaper than the divorce. ”

Tahli bit her tongue, recognizing the attack for what it was. Although Vin had been extremely generous in their divorce, she never pushed him for any of it. With out without him, she’d always be good. Tahli had been saving money since she was 12 years old. Instead, she defended with,

“He’s not a floormat. He’s okay with me coming here because he trusts me. And he knows I care about you. I didn’t come here for all of that.”

“Then what the f…” Vin blew out an audible gust. Tahli watched as he cracked his knuckles, eyes lasered on the floor.

“Alright. I’m fucked up. That’s what you came here for? Happy now? You want me to admit that? That I don’t know how I feel about not having this fucked-up lady around to blame all my fucked-up shit on?”

Tahli’s eyes watered. “And it’s your fault.”

He didn’t mean that. But she let him blame her.

“’Cause I was fucking fine without her in my life. But you…” He waved his finger at Tahli, and she knew…

She resurrected Lola. Invited Lola. Insisted Vin give the relationship with his mother he desperately needed a fighting chance. That was Tahli’s saving grace with her own mother. She never let Cree Autumn’s mistakes keep her from cherishing the far and few times they had.

“The fucking wedding, and the kids, and the barbecues, and the school plays, and Christmas parties. She didn’t have to come to none of that shit.” Vin yanked on his fingers; face wrinkled up to the floor.

“It was better that way, Dalvin. Now you have the memories.”

“Fuck you,” he looked in her eyes to say.

“Memories don’t do shit. This fucking house is haunted with your memories, and they don’t do shit for me.

All they do is remind me of what I lost. While you replaced me in three to five business days.

Who the fuck are you, coming over here, talking about what’s better for me, Tahli? ”

He paced. And attacked. Tahli bled inside…for him .

“Can you come somewhere with me?”

“Fuck you,” Vin spat again. Tahli sucked in her lips. Some seconds passed and Vin stopped his pacing to scrub big hands down his face. He growled. Then looked at her with crimson eyes.

“Tahli…”

“Don’t.” She raised a hand. “You don’t have to apologize.” She sighed. “Just meet me in the car.”