Page 51 of The Impact (Parachutes #3)

“Yes. But it’s your father’s home. Your family. I appreciate you allowing him to invite me despite it being a little awkward. I really like him—Oh, no!”

Bianca rushed to pick up the bowl of beans that splattered to the floor. As Tahli retrieved paper towels with a pounding head, she inhaled a composed breath.

“You’ve been knowing Dalvin for a while, right? You work for Tom Moreno? He’s been Vin’s client for years.”

An accusing silence followed.

“I think I know what you’re insinuating,” Bianca dazed Tahli with her forwardness. “But I swear, Tahli. Dalvin never even looked my way when he was married to you. I was invisible to him.”

“Was he invisible to you?”

“I never pursued him. And he never pursued me. He’s a good guy.”

Tahli clicked her tongue. Couldn’t help but chortle.

“I guess perception is everything. Sometimes people see things like looks, charm, and success, and it can be blinding. They think they’ve hit the jackpot.”

Tahli grabbed Clorox wipes with a frown.

“I can’t imagine how hurt you were when you found out about DJ.”

Tahli parted stunned lips, narrowing irate eyes on Bianca. Wait, bitch, what?

“I don’t mean to overstep. It’s just…I get it. I can imagine you felt like you didn’t know your husband at all.” Tahli remained in awe, uncertain if she was offended or impressed by Bianca’s transparency. But she damn sure wasn’t going to have Ted talks with Vin’s Tootsie Pop.

“Unfortunately, I don’t know what that’s like. I was married once, too. But…I always knew my husband.”

“Fantastic,” Tahli smiled flatly, over it. Bianca snickered.

“What I mean by that is…I knew exactly who my husband was, Tahli. If it was one thing I could count on, it was knowing who my husband was going to be every…single…day.” The way she said it garnered Tahli’s attention.

“I lived with a man who wasn’t even a man, Tahli.

He was more like…like matter,” Bianca scoffed.

“A darkness. A slow-walking, spite-talking, mean-spirited hovering on my back, darkness. He could walk into the room and just suck the joy out of it. Suck the joy out of me . I would wake up in the morning smiling and he could snatch my smile right away. Sometimes I’d ask him a question and he’d pretend I wasn’t standing in front of him.

Like I was air. And if he did speak to me, it was like I was a fucking idiot. ”

Tahli tried to imagine it. She could not. She’d met Vin at twenty. The guys before him were playtime. The only man who had loved her had loved her in a way that made her believe it was the standard. She never felt neglected. Never felt intolerable.

“I used to smile a lot,” Bianca carried on.

“I used to laugh really loud, like you. I heard you laughing earlier and you have a really amazing, confident laugh. I promise you; I used to laugh like that. But years, and years, and years of being conditioned not to take up too much space or to make too much noise. Not to disrupt that matter... It’s hard to get back to laughing like that.

My friends used to say they hated seeing who I turned into when my husband was around.

That I was dialing down my brilliance not to instigate his demons.

Then one day, I didn’t have to turn it down anymore.

The person I was when he was around became me.

That girl I used to be had gotten lost in the darkness.

She let go of my hand and I haven’t found her yet. ”

Tahli blinked over watery lenses.

“So yeah…I can’t imagine what that must have been like for you and I feel really awful about it.

Because if that wouldn’t have happened, I can see you and Dalvin being such an enviable couple.

But when I say he’s a good man…I mean he speaks very highly of you.

Even if he knows it’s not reciprocated. He loves his children.

He respects women. He listens when I talk.

He…doesn’t find pleasure in my pain. He’s patient.

Secure in his manhood so he doesn’t have to prove his masculinity by demeaning women.

I’m giving no credit to his good looks or bank account, which I could admire for his work ethic.

But I happen to perceive Dalvin as a good man regardless of any bad decisions he may have made.

Probably because I had a husband who didn’t cheat or make a baby and keep it as a secret from me… ” Tahli tensed.

“He didn’t make those same bad choices. But it didn’t make him a good man, either. For my sake, like you said, I’m glad we have those different perceptions. Because if you still thought Dalvin was a good man, then where would that leave me?”

Tahli was rendered speechless. She had to spot-check if she was even breathing sufficiently.

“So, I guess, in a strange roundabout way, thank you?” Bianca chuckled. No malice, which Tahli hated more. She could deal with malice. She couldn’t deal with this woman attempting to maturely educate her about the kind of man her ex-husband was.

“You do not have to thank me for having standards, Bianca.” Tahli was confused. Bianca nodded gently.

“Right. But I do have to thank your standards for letting me have him.” Bianca walked off after, taking Tahli’s unspoken words with her.