Page 20 of The House Guest

Three weeks later, I woke up on Saturday morning feeling a panic attack coming on. That made no sense considering that things in my life were going better than ever.

The weeks since Dorian and I first slept together had been the absolute best of my life. Each day my connection to him seemed to grow. Almost a month into our relationship, I should’ve been on top of the world.

Dorian had been coming home earlier from the office at night.

The house we shared felt more like a home each day instead of the ghost town it had been after Christina and Remington passed.

Dorian and I had started learning to cook together, making dinners by following video tutorials.

He’d actually made a pretty mean lasagna one night, and breaded chicken cutlets and roasted broccoli were apparently my jam.

On the weekends, we’d stroll around Orion Coast or go into L.A. He’d come with me to a couple of art exhibitions and had taken me on a tour of the Vanderbilt Technologies offices after hours.

After that first night we were together in Dorian’s bed, he and I hadn’t spent a night apart.

We’d now migrated to my bedroom; although thankfully Tallulah and Tess still preferred Dorian’s bed.

At first, he’d felt a little strange sleeping where his father once had, but that made the most sense, as it was the biggest room.

He’d gotten used to it after the first few times, and my room quickly became our room.

We hadn’t defined our relationship, yet it felt like we’d evolved from lovers to partners—a true couple, doing coupley things. Case in point, Chandler and Candace were coming over to have dinner with us tonight. We’d been gearing up for the perfect evening with friends.

So then why the rapid heartbeat this morning?

Why the feeling of absolute dread?

Sadly, deep down, I knew exactly what it was: everything was going so well that I now worried I had to break up with him.

This was my MO, a self-protective mechanism that had ruined every relationship I’d ever been in.

But the stakes were higher this time because I wasn’t just in a relationship with Dorian. I had fallen in love.

I started to shake, praying Dorian didn’t wake up and find me freaking out. But soon enough, he turned over and noticed me trembling.

He sat up. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“I’m having a bit of a…panic attack.”

“What brought it on?”

I stuttered, “I, um… ”

How do you tell someone you have the urge to break up with him because things are going so well that there’s nowhere to go but down?

“I…”

I couldn’t do it.

“What is it, Primrose?” he asked, worry in his eyes.

I finally let the words out. “I think I’m about to break up with you.”

His eyes narrowed. “You’re scared,” he finally said.

“Very…”

“Because there’s a lot to lose here, isn’t there?”

My breath shook as I exhaled. “I feel like I should be moving out and ending this before it’s too late. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Dorian. So the urge to end it is worse than usual.”

He placed his hand behind my head and stared into my eyes. “You can’t break up with me.”

“Why?” I whispered.

“Because I love you.”

The world stopped spinning for a moment. Hope filled me. “You do?”

“I do.” He nodded. “I love you so much. And I don’t want to live in a world where you’re not my girlfriend.”

Girlfriend.

Love.

My heart had gone from breaking to aching—in a good way. “You’ve never called me your girlfriend before.”

“Did you need a definition? Can’t you feel it? Can’t you feel how crazy about you I am?”

I smiled. “ I can.”

“Believe what I’m showing you, not just what I’m telling you.

You’re more than a girlfriend to me. You’re the reason I want to get up every morning.

Before you came along, I wished I could sleep all day.

You’re the reason for every smile. Every laugh.

Every good thing in my life. You’re the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I want to see before I drift off at night.

” He leaned in and spoke over my lips. “You’re the love of my life, Primrose.

” Dorian kissed my forehead gently. “I know how distrusting you are of men because of your dad. I know I have to work a hundred times harder to prove you’re safe with me.

I am totally up for the challenge. I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure you understand that I’m not going anywhere.

And neither are you—I think. Because you love me, too, don’t you? ”

Jesus. Did I not say it back?

“I do. I love you, Dorian. So much it hurts.” I wiped my eyes. “God, I’m such a disaster.”

“You’re my disaster, Rosebud.”

I blinked. “Rosebud?”

Dorian’s cheeks reddened. “It’s what I’ve called you in my head for some time. I guess this is the first time I’ve said it aloud.”

“Well, I love it.” My cheeks hurt from smiling.

He held me close for a moment before he got up from bed.

“Well, good. I’m glad we got that settled.” He brushed off his hands. “So now, what do you want for breakfast?”

I clutched the sheets. “What do you eat to celebrate being a hot mess?”

“Pancakes?” He grinned .

“Sounds good to me.”

Dorian went downstairs, leaving me sitting in bed, a pile of mush from the love fog he’d put me in.

I’d gone from panicked to euphoric. I’d broken up with several men in my life, yet not a single one had fought me on it.

Not a single one had told me they loved me in response.

Every single one of them had let me go without a fight.

I shook my head and got myself moving. This was nothing like those other relationships.

***

After a nice breakfast of pancakes that Dorian managed not to burn and a day of working in my art room, I felt like a new woman. By the time Chandler and Candace arrived, I was ready to see friends and celebrate my happiness—our happiness.

When the doorbell rang, I went to the door while Dorian set out some drinks. It was a cooler night, so we’d opted to have dinner inside rather than an evening barbecue out by the pool.

They were all smiles when I opened the door. Candace wore a long, blonde wig and looked totally different from the first and only other time I’d met her. She had such a pretty face that it didn’t matter what she had on her head, but the wig definitely complemented her.

“Your hair. I love it!”

“I wish it were mine.” She shrugged. “You really like it?”

“It looks so good. For some reason, I pictured you as a brunette, but the blonde really suits you. ”

“I asked Chandler who he felt like fucking later. He said Daisy.”

“We have names for all the wigs,” he added, rubbing his wife’s back. “They’re now her different personas. The blonde is Daisy. Short brunette is Lorelei. And the redhead is Gia.”

Candace chuckled. “Gotta find some enjoyment in this situation, right?”

I ran a hand over her tresses. “I can’t wait to meet them all.”

“Hey!” Dorian wrapped his arms around me from behind. “Who brought blondie?”

Dorian told me he’d filled Chandler in on the evolution of our relationship, but I wasn’t entirely sure what they knew. They didn’t seem too surprised to see Dorian hanging all over me. But I had a feeling I’d be explaining a lot to Candace tonight.

The four of us migrated to the kitchen where Dorian had set out wine and glasses, along with the snack plate of crackers, cheese, and fruit that I’d prepared earlier.

“So, by the way, thank you both,” Candace said as she munched on a cracker.

I looked over at Dorian then back at her. “Thank us, why?”

Candace smacked her hand on the counter. “I won a hundred bucks because of you two.”

“What did we do?” Dorian asked as he poured some wine.

“I bet Chandler that you two would get together before the end of the year. It happened even faster than I’d anticipated. ”

“I wasn’t lying to you that day, by the way,” I told her. “There really wasn’t anything happening between us the first time we met.”

Dorian took a sip and laughed. “Those were actually the final hours before everything blew up.”

“The sex game, you mean?” I chuckled.

Candace stopped mid-chew. “Oh my God. What are you talking about? I need to know.”

“Remember that card game you found in the pile?” I asked. “After you guys left, Dorian and I sort of played it.”

Dorian nuzzled my neck. “It’s all innocent until you do a body shot off of the woman you’ve been trying to resist for weeks.”

Chandler and Candace both had their mouths hanging open.

“Let’s just say if Dorian hadn’t been a Boy Scout the rest of that night, we would’ve gotten together a lot sooner,” I added.

“What did he do…or not do?” Candace asked, looking all too amused.

“He actually turned me down that night,” I confessed.

Chandler’s eyes practically popped as he turned to his friend. “Are you out of your mind?”

“We both were a little out of our minds that night,” Dorian replied. “A little too drunk. So, yeah, I forced myself to be good. But it was hard.”

“I bet it was,” Chandler chided as we all cracked up.

Candace smiled. “I’m so happy for the two of you.”

“Thank you.” Dorian kissed the side of my forehead.

“How are things going with you guys?” I asked them.

Candace’s smile faded as they looked at each other .

I tensed. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.

“We’ve been better,” she answered.

“Her treatment wasn’t as effective as they’d hoped,” Chandler explained. “So, we have to try something different.”

“We thought I’d be done and able to celebrate tonight. But the doctor called this morning after my latest scan this week and…not so lucky.”

I felt sick as Dorian looked over at me, seemingly at a loss for words. Remembering she didn’t like when people said “I’m sorry,” I scrambled to find something comforting to say. “I’ll continue to think positive thoughts, Candace.”

“Thank you,” she murmured.

“We’ll never give up.” Chandler kissed his wife on the cheek and offered a strained smile. “Anyway, tonight is much needed after a not-so-great week.”

Dorian forced a smile as well. “We’ve got dinner on the way.”