Page 13 of The House Guest

For an entire week, I’d done nothing but go straight to my room after entering the house each day.

I’d also been making sure Dorian’s car wasn’t in the garage and would bypass the kitchen altogether to avoid running into him.

I’d pop in there to say hello to Benjamin or Patsy briefly, but that was only if I was absolutely sure Dorian wasn’t home.

I hated being outside of my bedroom too long on the off-chance he came home unexpectedly.

Since it was unlike me to be so withdrawn, I’d told the staff I was busy working on a new art project, which technically wasn’t a lie. That left me free to stay in my room all night until it was time to leave for class the next morning.

My friend Janelle and I were eating lunch outside on campus this afternoon when I’d finally filled her in on my judgment faux pas with Dorian last week.

“Maybe he has a good reason for not wanting to go there with you,” she suggested .

“That doesn’t take away the humiliation and my fervent wish that I could take it all back.”

She ate a spoonful of yogurt. “How the hell are you managing to avoid him?”

“It’s not hard. He’s almost never home. The only chance of running into him is if I use the theater or the kitchen. So I’ve been careful to avoid both.” I picked at my salad.

“How do you avoid the kitchen, though?”

“I just eat out or starve. Takeout coffee is my friend. I do miss my tea at night.”

“Damn. You can’t live like that forever, Primrose.”

“Watch me.” I exhaled. “I’d move out if I could afford it.

Anyway, if he wanted to talk to me, he knows where my room is.

He could knock on my door. But he hasn’t.

All the more reason I don’t regret avoiding him.

” Still so angry at myself, I shook my head.

“The one time! The one time in my twenty-three years that I decide to take my shot, and look where it got me.”

She shrugged. “I’m still proud of you for taking a chance. It takes balls to do what you did. And why should women always stand by and wait for men to make the first move?”

“Because they could get shot down and have to hide from the world after.”

“He was the one who encouraged the body shot, though, right? I would’ve totally bet he was down for more after that.”

“Well, clearly he wasn’t. He was just playing the game.”

“At least you know where things stand now instead of wasting weeks pining over him, thinking something’s going to happen.”

I thought back to Patsy’s confession and advice. She was right. Men like Dorian and his father don’t go for ordinary women. What other reason could he have for turning me down? He’d told me he thought I was attractive, and yet when given the opportunity—nothing.

I looked away, thinking back to better times, before my embarrassing rejection.

“The anticipation had been kind of fun. I miss the excitement of wondering whether he and I would run into each other. But you’re right.

The letdown would’ve been worse if more time had passed.

Apparently, I’d been living in a delusional state. ”

She perked up. “How about we go out this Friday? Help you forget about what’s-his-name billionaire?”

“I don’t know.” I sulked.

“It’s a good excuse to get out of the house,” she said, scraping up the last of her yogurt. “Even less of a chance of running into him.”

“Now that you put it that way, yeah. Sure, why not?”

***

That evening, I decided to make myself productive at home.

One of the things Dorian and I had discussed over caviar and Hot Cheetos a couple of weeks ago was what to do with my aunt’s clothing, handbags, and shoes.

He’d asked if I would be willing to go through everything, figure out what I wanted to keep and what should be donated. I’d told him I’d be happy to, but I hadn’t yet done it.

Since I hadn’t heard the garage door open, that meant Dorian was not home from work. I took the opportunity to leave my room and head down the hallway to her old bedroom.

Remington and Christina had shared an enormous walk-in closet. Her clothing was on one side and his on the other. Even though it was supposed to be a closet, the space was pretty much an entire room—at least the size of my bedroom, if not a bit bigger.

A chill ran through me as I glided my hand across Christina’s clothes.

Some of the items still smelled like her perfume.

Everything was organized by category. There were a dozen gowns, many with sequins, all in a row.

She loved blazers and silk scarves. And the shoe collection?

Nothing to scoff at. Mostly designer heels, each pair with a dedicated shelf featuring its own recessed lighting.

As beautiful as the closet was, there was nothing happy about this experience.

I hadn’t properly prepared myself for how emotional it would be to look through her personal items. It was sometimes possible to forget what had happened, but being in here, immersing myself in all of her things, served as a harsh reminder that she was no longer here to enjoy them. Life was unfair.

What good was having wealth if it could all end in an instant?

You can’t take any of it with you. And I suppose none of it matters if you’re not happy in life.

Christina may or may not have been happy in her final days.

She and I weren’t close enough to delve that deep.

If what Patsy said was true—that Remington wasn’t faithful to my aunt— Christina might’ve been hiding some pain.

Either that, or she was being lied to. I’d never know.

The more I sifted through her clothing, the more I felt wrong about keeping anything that wasn’t rightfully mine.

I didn’t want to inherit something from my aunt solely because she’d died.

I decided the best course of action would be to give all the clothes and shoes to charity, rather than picking out certain things.

The latter felt like greedy entitlement.

It also felt easier to give it all away and not have to think about each item and the memories that would never be made.

I froze at the sound of footsteps.

Then came his voice from behind me. “Well, of all the places I imagined I’d find you tonight, this wasn’t on my list.”

Shit. I turned slowly. “How did you know I was in here?”

“I noticed the bedroom door open. Thought that was a little weird. So figured I’d check things out.”

“You aren’t supposed to be home at this time.”

“Spoken like someone who’s specifically trying to make sure she avoids me.”

“I’m not gonna deny that.”

“You shouldn’t. You’re a master at it lately.”

“Apparently not anymore.”

“Actually, I came home early hoping I’d catch you. I knew you wouldn’t be expecting me, and I figured your guard would be down.”

“Why do you want to see me?”

“I think you know why.”

“It’s not necessary to talk about it. ”

“I think it is. You ran off before you let me explain why I said no to you.”

Cut right to the chase, why don’t you? Cringing, I took a seat on the floor and crossed my legs. “I don’t need to be reminded of that night. But you reminded me there’s a very good reason I’d never made the first move before.”

“I loved that you made the first move.”

“I could tell,” I said sarcastically.

He joined me on the ground and situated himself on the side of the closet that housed his father’s clothes. A waft of his amazing scent registered, and I felt my body tingle. Damn it.

“Technically, it wasn’t the first move, though,” he said. “That was all mine when I licked that body shot off of you.”

My nipples stiffened.

“I was having a little too much fun with that game,” he added. “And the last thing I wanted to do was continue to take advantage of the situation. We’d both been drinking that night.”

“Nice try. But we weren’t drunk. Just buzzed. I knew what I was doing.”

“Me, too. But any amount of alcohol messes with your inhibitions.”

He had a point, but unfortunately, I hadn’t been anywhere near under the influence enough to forget my humiliation.

“There’s so much more to why I didn’t take you up on your offer, Primrose.

” He exhaled. “I don’t know if I’ve properly articulated just how hard it was for me to come back to California.

It took me a month to leave Boston and face everything.

I’d imagined that coming back to this empty place and getting thrown headfirst into my father’s unfinished business was going to be the most horrible experience of my life.

But then there was you, an unexpected light in this miserable darkness.

Someone who not only had also just been through losing someone, but who seemed to make me smile at every turn. ”

I listened quietly, unable to come up with anything to say.

“No one has captivated me like you have. Every time I talk to you, it’s the highlight of my day. I look forward to the moments we run into each other.”

Desperate to get the formal rejection over with, I interrupted. “Fine. So you want to be friends. You like me, but you’re not attracted to me in a physical way. No need to say more. I said it before you had to. I get it. Really. You don’t need to explain any—”

“That could not be further from the truth. I think you’re stunning.

” His eyes seared into mine. “But you said yourself that you’re a serial monogamist. And I’m not relationship material—at least at this point in my life.

Given that we live together, becoming anything more than friends would make our lives very complicated.

I know you’re not the type to just fuck and forget about it.

Nor do you deserve that. I want you to have everything you truly desire.

I’m just not the right person to give it to you. ”

What he said made a lot of sense.

After a moment, I nodded. “I’m sorry I put you in a position to have to reject me.”