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“Liam,” she yells as she runs up to me. “Wait.”
I can hear the sound of her shoes hitting the ground and making the water splash, but I don’t stop. I keep walking towards the home.
I’m not your f*****g hero.
I remember what I said to her, and I’ve been trying to remember it because I can’t be that to her.
“Please, Liam,” Emily begs, following me. “What’s wrong with you?” Her voice is about to break. Her tone shows that she is angry.
I’m not your f*****g hero.
Those remarks keep coming back to me, making fun of me and ridiculing me. But what my heart wants is far different from that. But the truth hurts me a lot. I can’t be.
I still have a lot of worry in my heart about failing someone or losing someone after attempting to protect them. I failed once, and it almost cost me my life.
I can’t see anything now. I’m not meant to be a hero. The person she looks up to. And that really gets me furious.
I’m so angry and out of control that I almost fall while walking down the little stairs from the backyard. Emily immediately gets up to me and grabs my arm, but the footing is so slick that she collapses.
I gasp and my eyes widen in disbelief. With my other hand, I’m holding on to the little railing. I’m OK, but Emily…
There was nothing I could do to stop her from falling. She was keeping me safe.
“Ouch,” she hisses in anguish.
My heart feels like it’s going to explode out of my chest, as blood rushes to every vein in my body. It’s only a little step, so she can’t get hurt seriously, but it doesn’t make me feel better.
“I think I just sprained my ankle,” she replies, attempting to disguise how much it hurts.
I blow up. “What the f**k did you just do?” My voice is loud, and I can even hear her gasp in disbelief. “Did you even think before you did that? I told you a million times to leave me alone. Did you ever get what I said? For f**k’s sake, just go away.”
Because I talk so viciously and without mercy, my chest rises and falls.
We can only hear the sound of rainfall and my hard breathing till she starts to cry.
“Why are you doing this?” The sadness in her voice tells me that my comments hurt her deeply.
When I hear her weeping, my fist shakes. It hurts my soul to see her sad.
I gritted my teeth and held back my messed-up feelings so I wouldn’t hurt anyone else. I leave her alone and walk away.
Liam was already gone when I woke up this morning. We hadn’t talked to one other since what transpired the day before.
Liam asked Tera to bring me food last night, but he didn’t come back until after his martial arts class. We went to bed without saying a word, and I was doing everything I could to prevent from crying.
I assumed he would slowly allow me in. I felt I could get closer to him and understand him better. But just when I believed he had let down his defences, he went back to the way he had been before.
It hurts me to know how much he’s been through. The more I get to know him, the more I can sense his sorrow and the more I can see the guy behind the icy face.
His comments sting, but I know they’re only a way for him to mask his misery. I told myself that I would help him see the beautiful things in life, that he can still be happy even though he is disabled, and that he is worth it.
I sit down on the bed after I dry my hair. Someone knocks on the door when I’m thinking about what to do today. When I open it, I see Tera standing there with a big smile on her face.
I wonder what her intention is because she doesn’t have a plate of food with her. My heart is full with relief since I need to spend a day with her right now.
I say “Good morning” with a big smile on my face. “Are we going to eat breakfast together?”
I don’t know whether Kelvin and his pals will come back to bother me, but it’s better to have a buddy with me than to be alone. It breaks my heart to recall that Liam told me to keep away from him.
Tera nods, and we gladly link arms and stroll down the corridor.
But Tera doesn’t take me to the kitchen; instead, she takes me to the basement. I raise my eyebrows in doubt, and she merely waves her hand to say that everything will be OK.
I suppose it’s the basement where Tera and her dad reside, because it’s not the same one where they have the boxing ring.
She opens the door, and I see a tattoo shop.
I move my eyes about in astonishment. The space is dark, but I can see how creative it is. There are dark paintings on the walls, and much of the furniture is made of dark wood. But somehow, it still feels like a good place to live. It even feels nice.
I can see two doors that go to separate bedrooms and another door that I think goes to the bathroom. Someone opens it from the other side just as I look at it.
A middle-aged man with a large smile on his face approaches up to us. He’s tall and has broad shoulders.
“You must be Emily,” he says as he shakes my hand firmly. “Welcome to our home. I’m Dustin, Tera’s dad.”
I grin back at him and thank him for being so kind. This modest man has given several tattoos to the leaders and members of Eagle Wings.
“You’re finally going to get your first tattoo, right?” His comment shocks me, and he chuckles as soon as he sees the terror on my face. “Don’t
Don’t worry. It won’t hurt that much. Do you want me to do it for you, or do you want Tera to do it? It’s up to you.
I turn my attention quickly to Tera, who is biting her lip nervously and scratching her temple. She pulls out a note from her pocket and writes me a letter.
I’m sorry. I know you might not want it, but this is the day you receive your tattoo. Liam stated that. It’s a command.
My eyes go big in shock. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for a tattoo. People say it will hurt, and I’m not going to get my skin tattooed.
Tera lets out a sigh.
This is how you can be absolutely safe here. Everyone else understands the rules, but you are the only one who doesn’t.
Someone could hurt you because Liam is disabled one day. This is not a place for those who are not members. People from outside have died here.
I gasp at that news and put my palms over my lips.
Some individuals around here have grudges and wouldn’t put up with this kind of mistreatment. I honestly don’t want to put you in danger.
I have to accept that I lost. I’ll do it if that’s the only way I can stay alive here.
I never believed I would be part of a mafia or gang family.
Tera’s eyes soften when she sees that I want to have the tattoo.
“All settled?” Dustin’s voice interrupts the quiet.
I nearly forgot he was here.
He observes us with a smile before leaving. He quips, “I guess you trust Tera more. Go have your girls’ time. I’m leaving,” and pats me on the shoulder.
I see him push through the door and leave the tattoo shop.
I tell Tera, “Your dad seems fun and cool,” and she just shrugs.
She gives me another note.
Are you ready?
I nod and swallow. I think I don’t have any other options.