Page 42 of The Grump I Loathe (The Lockhart Brothers #3)

EDDIE

“ I ’ve been dreaming of pumpkin pie,” Noah said.

I snorted.

He fixed the banner on the wall behind our table. “Is this corner too high? Also, what do you think that means?”

“Bring it down an inch. As for the dreams? Mmm, not sure. Maybe it means you’re really excited for Thanksgiving?”

“Sure,” Noah said, “but at the last second a giant turkey pops out of the middle of the pie.”

I laughed. “Alive? ”

He nodded. “It’s gobbling and running up and down the table, kicking yams everywhere.”

I laughed harder. “Cassie would probably say you need your chakras cleansed or something. You want me to get you some clear quartz?”

He thumped down in his seat, seriously considering it. “You think that’ll help?”

I shrugged. “Cassie’s been trying to cleanse my aura or whatever every day lately, and as far as I can tell, it hasn’t changed a thing.” I was still on edge.

“Yeah, well, you’ve got bigger problems than turkeys and pies. Is Connor still texting you?”

“I finally blocked him.” He’d been texting me relentlessly for a couple weeks, saying he knew he was wrong and we needed to talk. Time for talking was weeks ago. Instead, I’d gotten nothing but silence from him until out of the blue, he’d started texting me.

“Good. I think you’ve already given him plenty of opportunities to grovel properly.”

I nodded. I might have been open to hearing him out weeks ago. Now, not so much. With Cassie’s help, I’d managed to brush off every single message without crumbling into a post-breakup mess. Sort of.

I still saw him when I closed my eyes. When I was brushing my teeth. When I was pretending that everything was fine and I’d moved on, thoughts of Connor would worm their way into my head.

“So, you haven’t heard from him other than that?”

I grimaced. “He popped up in my emails.”

“You’re not serious? ”

“He said he’s giving the keynote speech today and that he’d really like me to see it.”

Noah’s eyes widened. He snatched up the program, flipping it open. “How did I miss that?”

“Because when do we ever pay attention to the keynote speech?”

He tossed the program down. “Why didn’t you say anything earlier?”

“Because I was trying not to think about it,” I muttered. “Because there’s a teeny, tiny part of me that’s actually a little curious.”

“Oh, Eddie.”

I dropped my head into my hands, groaning. “I know. I know! ”

He sighed. “You’re a glutton for punishment.” He walked around the table and placed his hands on my shoulders. “How do you want to play this?”

I didn’t know. I hadn’t laid eyes on Connor since I’d quit, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to see him again. I’d literally just stopped crying myself to sleep. “Part of me wants to run away.”

“We can do that,” Noah said. “But don’t forget that you deserve to be here. Networking. Showing off your skills.”

“I do,” I agreed. I deserved to live my dream. I’d walked away when things fell apart with Ryker, letting go of Lethal Deception and all the hard work I’d done on that game. I wasn’t about to do the same thing here. I wasn’t going to compromise what I wanted. Not anymore.

I wasn’t letting Connor run me off because I was too cowardly to face him.

“Then I guess we should head over to the hall,” Noah said, nodding in the direction some of the participants were moving.

“Okay,” I agreed. “But let’s sit in the back? ”

“Last row, right near the door,” he said. “So we can be the first to bail.”

“Perfect.”

He released me, I sucked in a deep breath, and—“Ow!”

I clutched my shoulder, whirling around to see who had just hit me hard enough to nearly dislocate my arm. I laid eyes on that familiar skater-boy fringe. Ryker flicked his hair out of his eyes.

“Seriously?” I called. Did I really need to deal with both my exes today? “What’s your problem?”

He scowled. “Stop standing in the middle of the aisle.”

“Or, here’s a thought, you could watch where you’re going!” I snapped.

“She’s right, dude,” Noah chimed in. “There’s five hundred square feet for you to navigate. Try harder.”

Ryker just glared at me. “You really couldn’t keep your mouth shut, could you?”

“What are you talking about?”

“And now you’re gonna play dumb?” He sneered. “Doesn’t suit you, Eddie. Just own up to it.”

I barked a humorless laugh, throwing my hands out. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Ryker shook his head, disgusted. “Whatever. I hope you’re happy now.” He stormed off, shouldering more people out of the way. Grumbles followed in his wake along with angry glares from all the people he treated like obstacles meant to be knocked over instead of navigated around.

“So…” Noah said after a beat. “That was weird, right? ”

“I am so confused.” But I didn’t have time to unpack whatever Ryker’s drama was. “Clearly, I need to stop dating in the industry.”

Noah agreed, and we hurried down the aisle to the hall, slipping into a couple empty seats just in time for the speech to start. My breath hitched as Connor walked across the stage. I kind of figured I’d be over a guy in a suit by now, but dammit, he looked good.

Really freaking good .

Oh damn, was he wearing a red tie? I didn’t realize he owned one that wasn’t some sort of gray.

My mind shifted to autopilot, replaying memories of that smile, those eyes, the heated way he used to look at me when I was naked in his bed. My heart lurched in my chest.

Noah nudged me as Connor rambled on in that uptight, serious way of his, a bland, gray slideshow flashing behind him. “Kinda boring so far,” he whispered.

“Ha, yeah. He still needs to learn how to land a joke,” I muttered, but I didn’t really have it in me to drag Connor for his speech.

Not when I’d known the real him. The one that could take a joke.

The one that could be tempted onto the dance floor.

The one that sang along to pop music at the top of his lungs while Grace and I made pancakes.

I swallowed hard, trying not to be strangled by my own emotions.

“LockMill has recently been making big moves in the industry,” Connor said, “but what I’m most proud of is the industry culture that we’re aiming to shift.”

I perked up as I noticed the tone of the speech changing.

“LockMill recently purchased the studio that distributed an indie game called Lethal Deception ,” Connor continued .

What? I leaned forward, clinging to the back of the chair in front of me.

“You know that game?” Noah whispered.

“I worked on it with Ryker. He totally cut me out of the credits.”

“Dick.”

“We’ve recently altered the credits to accurately reflect the work that went into this standout game,” Connor said to the crowd.

“Holy shit,” I muttered.

“This is the beginning of a program LockMill is spearheading to re-credit designers and developers who were left out of their own projects,” Connor announced. “ Lethal Deception is just the beginning.”

There was a thunderous round of applause in the hall.

I sank back in my chair, speechless for a moment.

“Is that why Ryker was so pissed?” Noah asked.

“Maybe…Yeah, probably.” A smile stretched across my face. Good. I hoped that jerkwad felt humiliated in front of our peers.

“In light of that new mission,” Connor said, his voice ringing out. “The Juni Protocol from LockMill’s latest release is being renamed the Sheppard Protocol.” The slide behind him changed, my picture appearing on the screen.

My jaw dropped. Double holy shit .

Noah’s jaw dropped too. “Did he just?—”

“Work like this starts at home,” Connor told the audience, “and I think a very important member of the development team deserves more than an in-game credit for the work she did on guiding the vision for this protocol. It was Edith Sheppard’s creativity and dedication that made the new protocol so successful, and I think that deserves a massive round of applause. ”

My smile immediately died. A very important member of the team? Really. Was that all I was to him? Anger warmed in my chest.

“You okay?” Noah asked.

I wondered if he could hear me grinding my teeth.

“After everything, this is what he sees as fighting for me?” I hissed.

“Clicking through gray slides, reciting corporate talking points to a roomful of strangers?” It was so distant and detached, I almost wanted to laugh, except nothing about it was funny.

Noah looked unsure of what to say next. The audience started clapping again, signaling the end of the speech, and I shot to my feet.

I needed to get out of here, but my legs felt numb right down to my toes. In fact, everything inside me was numb, tingling with a fiery, pent-up rage. I supposed that was better than tears, though. I was sick of tears.

“Come on,” Noah said. “Let’s go grab a snack or something.”

“Eddie!” Connor called, shoving through the crowd.

Fuck . “Keep moving.”

The crowd converged, too many people surrounding us for me to be able to quickly duck away.

Connor had the clout to get people to make way for him, but Noah and I did not.

Connor caught us, his eyes widening slightly as he stopped less than a foot from me.

It was as if we both realized all we had to do was reach out and?—

“Noah, can I have a moment with Eddie?” Connor requested.

Noah glanced at me. I shrugged. “He can stay. Why not? After all, aren’t you claiming to be all transparent and public-facing about things now?”

A muscle in Connor’s cheek twitched. “You’re not happy about the re-crediting?”

“I’m happy there are game designers out there who are going to get the recognition they deserve,” I said diplomatically.

“I…” Connor swallowed hard, looking confused. “I did this for you.”

“Are you looking for a thank you?” I asked. “Is that what you’re after? I never asked you to do this.”

“I know you didn’t,” he insisted. “I wanted to.” His hand moved in my direction. I jerked back. “I…I miss you, Eddie. Grace misses you. I’ve tried texting you?—”

“But I blocked you,” I finished for him.

“Yes.” He started to crack his knuckles and then stopped. “I’d like to have that talk now, if you’re willing to hear me out.”

My mind screamed no even as my heart screamed yes.

My pulse thundered in my ears. This was everything I’d wanted for weeks.

But it had taken him weeks to make this decision.

Weeks to decide I was worth having this conversation with.

Weeks to realize he missed me. And I deserved more than that.

For fuck’s sake, he didn’t even react when Leigh had told him about my concussion.

“No,” I said.

His eyes widened. “ Eddie… ”

“No,” I said again, more firmly. “Because if this is what you think an apology is, then I don’t want to hear it.

Nothing has changed. You’re here prioritizing some work initiative, and that’s amazing for the people whose careers you’re going to positively impact, but it doesn’t change our relationship.

Before that can happen, you’ll have to take responsibility for what happened between us.

This isn’t you telling the world you want me; this is you telling the world I was a good little employee.

At this rate, you may as well have sent me a memo that said you wanted to start having sex again. ”

Noah turned red, angling away slightly.

I plowed on. I didn’t care who was listening.

“This was buttoned-up, CEO Lockhart still trying to keep things PR-perfect. And I’m done with it.

You want me, but you’re not willing to acknowledge my feelings or fight for me?

Thanks, but I’ve gotten enough of that from everyone else in my life. I don’t need you for that.”

“Eddie,” Connor started, sounding desperate, but I didn’t want to hear another word he had to say.

“You can give my number to Grace if she wants it, but I don’t want to hear from you again.”

I latched down on Noah’s arm and surged into the crowd, dragging him after me.

“You okay?” he asked, still flushed.

“I don’t know yet,” I said, buzzing with adrenaline. All I knew was that Connor had just proven he couldn’t change.

And walking away from him finally felt like closure. Except, if I didn’t get out of there, I was going to break down and start bawling, and I refused to embarrass myself further over Connor Fucking Lockhart.