Page 40 of The Grump I Loathe (The Lockhart Brothers #3)

EDDIE

“ D on’t forget to check that tunnel,” I said to Alannah as she navigated Mr. Cheesers across the screen. We were barely out of October, barely a week into release, and Games Weekly was already calling Shadow the best game to play this upcoming holiday season.

“Oh, yeah.” Alannah stuck her tongue out, leaning against me on the couch as I kicked my feet up on one of the packed moving boxes. “ Eddie ! There’s another rat trapped in here! How do I get it out?”

I grinned at her excitement, wondering if Grace was loving it just as much. I shoved that thought aside hard and fast. “I don’t know, you think you can use your tail whip to break those boxes?”

“Let me try.” Smash! “Got it. Wait, she’s following me?”

“She probably needs you to lead her to safety,” I suggested.

“Look, her name is Ratchel!” Alannah cackled. “This is the best game I’ve ever played.”

Her words warmed a spot in my chest, but it was a bittersweet moment.

Alannah would have gotten a real kick out of meeting the real Mr. Cheesers.

When parent blogs had picked up on the Juni Protocol, they’d quickly grown obsessed, and with the amount of people talking about it online, I knew we’d landed on something special.

But there was no one for me to celebrate the success with and no way for me to make a Mr. Cheesers meet-n-greet a reality, because I’d quit the moment the game shipped.

Leigh had helped me secure another position with Waylaid Games, a competing big-name studio—thank God, non-competes weren’t enforceable in California—and with Shadow ’s success and her glowing recommendation, they’d looked right past my spotty resume.

I’d already gotten my feet wet dissecting the pitch for their upcoming action-adventure game, Rebel Heart 3 .

I’d even taken Noah with me. Or, well, he’d seen a job posting he was interested in and had taken the plunge.

Even with him by my side, I missed the people at LockMill, but I knew in time I’d make a whole new crop of friends.

And the slight pay bump meant I was confident Cassie and I could afford our own place while still making a solid dent in my school loans. New digs, here we come!

I was finally getting everything I’d ever wanted.

Consistent work. Respect. A salary that allowed me to enjoy life and not just survive.

I even still had the distribution and release of Alterbot to look forward to after the new year, because that clause in my contract had been iron clad.

And yet…I still wasn’t happy. Achieving my lifelong dream was supposed to be more fun, wasn’t it?

The alarm on my phone sounded.

“I don’t want to go,” Alannah complained, groaning as I paused the game.

“Better not give Dad a reason to worry. I was happy to pick you up early and let you hang for a bit, but you’ll have to tell him you left practice because you weren’t feeling well. ”

She sighed heavily, getting to her feet. “Fine. But don’t go any further without me. I still have to find Ratchel’s kids.”

I threw my arm over her shoulders. “Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you.”

We grabbed Alannah’s gymnastics duffle and headed down to the parking lot, climbing into Beatrice.

Darius had been insistent that I take the car as part of my exit package.

My immediate response had been a big, fat no , but he’d insisted, and the truth was, I’d grown too fond of her to let her go. It was selfish, but I loved her.

I let Alannah crank the music way too loud as we drove back to Dad’s place. She was still splitting time between him and Valentina until the divorce proceedings concluded and custody was agreed on.

“Thanks for hanging out,” Alannah said as we pulled into the driveway.

“Of course.” Ever since her third-place finish in September, Alannah was either at school or the gym—it was the one thing Dad and Valentina agreed on.

I often volunteered to do pickup duty so I got to see her, but hanging out for twenty minutes in the car was different from actually spending time together.

I didn’t know how bad Alannah’s stomachache really was today, but I could tell the poor kid needed a break.

As I walked her up to the door, it swung open. Dad stood there, his phone pressed to his ear. He looked big mad, the tips of his ears ruby red.

“Uh-oh,” Alannah said.

“Uh-oh,” I echoed. I squeezed her shoulder.

“The hell is going on?” Dad demanded, stuffing his phone in his pocket. “Why am I calling Alannah’s coach to add an extra practice on Monday nights?— ”

Alannah groaned.

“—only to hear from the coach that she’s out sick? You were fine when I dropped you off.”

Alannah’s little face broke. “Dad, I’m sor?—”

“No,” he said. “You don’t get to flake out on your responsibilities at the gym just because you want to go hang out with Eddie.”

“Hey!” I said, interrupting Alannah’s attempt at another apology.

I stepped forward, one accusing finger pointed at Dad.

“Firstly, she had a stomachache, so I offered to grab her early. I took her back to my place, and we hung out until she was feeling better. That was my decision, so don’t blame her.

But it’s not like you or Valentina would have answered her call anyway with how busy you two are.

If you’d bothered to check your phone, you would have noticed that I sent you a text to let you know she was calling off sick. ”

Dad frowned, pulling out his phone again to check his slew of unanswered texts, mine likely lost in the mix.

“Alannah, why don’t you go inside?” I said, a drum of frustration beating at the back of my head.

“But—”

“Now, please,” I said, watching her skulk off inside.

“Second of all,” I continued, rounding on Dad the moment the door closed. “How dare you?”

He jerked back.

“You’re accusing Alannah of bailing on her responsibilities, but you’re not willing to put in the work of even admitting that you want her, much less fighting for her? No! Just, no! ”

Dad’s eyebrows collided in the middle of his forehead. “Eddie, that has nothing to do with you.”

“It has everything to do with me!” I exploded.

“Because I was her. She’s nine, Dad! She’s a kid.

You can’t neglect her ninety percent of the time and expect her to jump to do whatever you want during that ten percent of the time when you’re actually paying attention.

You don’t get to drag her through this divorce without ever checking in to make sure she’s okay and still expect her to turn tricks on the balance beam. ”

“That’s not what we’re asking her.”

“Gah!” I grabbed my forehead, squeezing as the pressure behind my eyes threatened to burst. “You don’t get it, do you?

You’re dumping these expectations on a kid who’s stressed and tired and putting up with your constant bickering with Valentina, and all she gets in return is the constant reminder that you don’t want her! ”

“I never said I didn’t want her.”

“Well, you also haven’t made it clear that you do .” I bit my tongue, hard, the pain bringing with it an onslaught of memories. “You really haven’t changed, have you? Was screwing up one kid not enough?”

“What are you talking about?” Dad asked, his voice strained.

“After you and Mom divorced, all you ever did was tell me I was too much. Too noisy. Too excited about things. You tried to take video games away from me.”

“Because that’s all you wanted to do!” Dad argued.

“Because I loved it. Because it was the thing that kept me grounded when my whole world was changing. Because it was the one thing in the world I was still excited about. And instead of encouraging me, you and Mom made me feel like what I wanted didn’t matter.

Now you’re doing the same thing with Alannah, and I’m sick of it! ”

He reached for me, but I shrugged him off. I wasn’t done.

“She doesn’t want to pack up her life and move to Florida, away from her friends and her coach and me and you ! She wants you to fight for custody so she doesn’t have to leave.”

“I don’t know if I can guarantee that outcome,” Dad said, looking miserable.

“So that means you don’t even try?” I snapped.

“You’re going to screw her up just like you screwed me up.

And she’s going to spend the rest of her life stuffing down all the negative emotions, walking around with a fake smile while wondering why she wasn’t worth your time or your effort.

But that’s not fair. It’s not fair to her, and it wasn’t fair to me.

Just because you’re shitty at holding a family together doesn’t mean it should be up to your children to fill in the gaps. ”

I sucked in a breath of air, my entire body trembling as I finally ran out of things to shout.

Dad just blinked for several long seconds. Then— “I’m sorry.”

The apology was so unexpected, I frowned. Dad had never apologized to me for anything. “What?”

He shook his head slowly, his cheek twitching.

“I didn’t realize…That’s not what I…” He trailed off.

Looked away. Sighed. “That’s not what I wanted for you or Alannah.

I never meant to hurt you, Eddie. But I…

I didn’t know what to do when my marriage to your mother started crumbling, so I pulled away, figuring that at least that way, I wouldn’t make things worse.

I guess I never really realized how much of a burden that put on you. ”

I swallowed hard, unexpectedly teary.

“I want Alannah at practice because I want to see her succeed. She has so much potential, but if everything is too overwhelming right now, maybe it’s time to back off a bit. And you’re right,” he said to me. “Maybe it’s time I call that lawyer and see what he can do.”

I blinked away the tears in my eyes. “Good. Because I expect to see Alannah more than every other Christmas.”

I left Dad and Alannah to reconnect as I drove home, flushed with victory and pride and something that felt like relief. A giddy laugh erupted from me. It felt like the first real laugh since the breakup, and I was still smiling as I headed upstairs.