Page 21 of The Grump I Loathe (The Lockhart Brothers #3)

CONNOR

“ H ow are you Alannah’s mom if you’re so young?” Grace said to Eddie, pointing her ice cream spoon at her from across a table in Trudy’s Ice Cream Parlor & Arcade. All it took to bury girl drama was winning a game of tug-o-war and eating some sugar.

After I’d jumped Eddie’s car, she’d suggested Trudy’s, and she and the girls were currently eating their way through mini ice cream flights. Because apparently one flavor was simply not good enough.

“Don’t point,” I said. “It’s not polite.”

Grace lowered her spoon. Alannah’s lips puckered. “She’s not my mom, duh ! That’s why she’s actually fun.”

Eddie chuckled softly, her cheeks turning the softest pink. “I’m her older sister.”

Grace huffed. “I wish I had a sister.”

An odd pang flared in my chest. It had been tricky having friends growing up.

On her bad days, Mom had needed me with her.

And on her good days, there was always the chance of something setting her off and turning it into a bad day at any minute.

Inviting people over never seemed like a good idea.

But through all of it, I’d always had my brothers.

A sibling was someone you could depend on for life, and I’d wanted to give Grace that. Early on, some foolish part of me had assumed Ali and I would sort ourselves out enough to grow our family, but now I could see how ridiculous that had been.

“A brother could be fun, too,” Alannah pointed out. “If you’re the oldest, you still get to boss them around. I never get to be the boss.”

“I’m gonna be an older cousin!” Grace said excitedly. “Did I tell you?”

Alannah shook her head.

“My uncle Liam is having a baby. Dad, can I show Alannah the ultrasounds?”

I handed over my phone so Grace could show Alannah the photos.

“Aww,” Alannah cooed, her eyebrows knitting together. “Wait. Is it a boy or a girl?”

“I dunno,” Grace admitted. “Kinda looks like a bean.”

I caught Eddie’s eye and she grinned. “Enjoying your unicorn toots?” I asked.

Eddie smirked, stuffing a spoonful of purple and green ice cream into her mouth. “I’m not gonna lie, I was surprised you went for birthday cake with extra sprinkles.”

“It’s classic.”

“You struck me as more of a rum raisin kind of guy.”

“First of all, ew,” I said, playing up my disgust on purpose and feeling ridiculously proud of myself at the bubble of laughter that spilled from her.

“Exactly, boring.”

“Well, that’s not me anymore, right? Did I excel at your lesson today?”

She hummed. “You were really harnessing fun there for a while.”

“For a while?” I argued. “I’ve been having fun the whole afternoon.”

“I’m full!” Alannah declared.

“Me too!” Grace said. “Can we go play some games?”

“Sure,” Eddie said, handing over her debit card so the girls could buy tokens to play.

I arched my brow as they took off together.

“We come here a lot,” Eddie assured me. “They’ll be fine without us hovering. You can see every corner of the arcade from this table. Usually, we come here so Alannah can blow off steam while I catch up on work.”

Sometimes, the way Eddie talked about Alannah, I forgot she wasn’t Alannah’s mother. It was clear how much she cared, and it was impressive how engaged she was in her sister’s life.

“This gives them the illusion of freedom while we can monitor the level of trouble they’re getting into,” Eddie said. “It’s a win-win.”

My eyes flicked across the arcade, following the girls as they darted between flashing games. “I’d prefer they not get into trouble.”

“Oh, a little bit of trouble is good for them. Bonding.”

I snorted. “Is that what you call it? ”

Eddie shrugged. “I think it’s healthy. If you always behave, you grow up constantly worried about putting a foot out of step.”

“I’m gonna have to disagree with that.”

She shifted her seat closer to mine, and I realized she was angling to see the girls better. “Don’t tell me you never got into trouble as a kid. I won’t buy it.”

“I mean, I used to be late to school…a lot. But I didn’t actually get into trouble.

” Because thankfully my brothers always found a way to smooth it over.

Well, Finn smoothed it over—that was his gift.

Liam’s gift was finding solutions—like arranging for us to get a lift from the Johnsons down the street.

“Problems getting up in the morning?” Eddie joked, nudging my arm. “Too many late-night video game marathons?”

If only. “No, uh, when I was younger, my mom struggled with her mental health. Driving us to school wasn’t always something she could manage, so we had to figure out other ways to get there.

My brother, Liam, eventually worked it out with our neighbors—they had kids who went to our school, too.

We mowed their lawn, and they handled dropoff and pickup until Liam was old enough to get his license. ”

Eddie’s gaze softened, her hand inching toward mine on the table. “That’s a lot of responsibility for a couple of kids.”

“It was,” I said, eyes drifting across the arcade to make sure Grace and Alannah weren’t fighting. Instead, they hovered close, heads bent together. It warmed my chest.

“I spent a lot of time trying not to leave my mom alone. I’d race home right after school instead of hanging out with friends.

I was always worried about her. My brothers took responsibility for other things.

Working their butts off. Smoothing things over.

Paying the bills when Mom couldn’t. But a lot of the time, Mom was my responsibility.

So, no, to answer your question. There was no time for getting into trouble. ”

“Sounds like you had to grow up fast,” Eddie said, her pinky drifting along the back of my hand. “It’s no wonder you don’t know how to have fun.” Her words were soft, not unkind. “Do you regret growing up like that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, if you could go back, would you do anything differently?”

“Honestly,” I answered without thinking about it for long, “I can’t imagine it any other way.”

“Really?”

I nodded. “I mean, I wish Mom had gotten help earlier—grownup help, with medication and therapy. She really struggled for years, and it didn’t have to be that way.

But I don’t regret that the whole experience taught me and my brothers we could count on each other, no matter what.

Nothing matters to me more than family. It’s why it’s so baffling to me that Ali would blow off the chance to spend time with Grace.

She’s the best thing in my life—nothing and no one is more important to me than her. ”

“That’s…actually really beautiful.” She gave a humorless laugh.

“I think I would have liked growing up with siblings. I mean, I love Alannah like crazy, but I was fourteen when she was born. When things started really falling apart at home, I had to deal with it on my own. I spent every moment after my parents divorced wishing things could be different.”

I frowned, my gaze drifting in Grace’s direction. “What did you wish for the most?”

She shook her head. “It’s dumb. ”

“Tell me.” I squeezed her hand this time.

“Well,” she started. “When I was a kid, I used to imagine that I could split myself into two different people. That I could be a Mom-approved version of Eddie and a Dad-approved version, so I didn’t have to stress about being the wrong person in the wrong place.”

“What do you mean the wrong person?”

Eddie sighed. “After they split, they really didn’t like being reminded of each other.

And I couldn’t help being a reminder. Like, at Mom’s, she’d get upset when I listened to classic rock because it was Dad’s favorite.

And at Dad’s, he’d frown whenever I was close enough for him to smell my shampoo, since I used the same one as Mom. ”

“Ah, I see.” I couldn’t imagine ever asking Grace to change something about herself just because it reminded me of Ali.

“I never felt good enough for either of them,” Eddie said.

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that. It wasn’t fair.”

Eddie pulled back slightly, laughing it off. “Well, joke’s on them, ’cause now I just don’t spend time with either of them, if I can help it. That means I can listen to whatever music I want and use whatever shampoo I please.”

Making light of the moment didn’t work because I could still see the hurt in her eyes. “Sounds like you also had to grow up fast.” I reached for her hand again, pleased when she didn’t pull away. A tingle worked its way up my arm as she threaded our fingers together beneath the table.

“I was lucky. I found video games early on, realized it was a world I loved, and started planning my future around them. I’ve worked my butt off to get this far, and it’s totally worth it to me—even if I’m going to be paying off student loans until I’m ninety. ”

“Your parents didn’t even help with tuition?” If her dad could afford to send Alannah to St. Orwell, he should have been able to chip in to send his oldest daughter to college.

She frowned, her chin tilting up challengingly. “I wasn’t going to let them buy their way out of being decent parents. If they didn’t care enough to show up for me, I wasn’t going to let their checkbooks fill the gap. After everything, I just didn’t want to owe them. You know?”

I swallowed hard, swearing to myself I’d never push Grace away the way Eddie’s parents had pushed her away. I’d never put her in a position where she spent her entire life proving she didn’t need me.

Eddie cleared her throat. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to dump my issues all over you.”

“You didn’t,” I insisted, glad to understand her a bit more.

It all made sense now: Eddie’s reaction to me trying to give her more money during our contract negotiation, the crappy car she drove.

As much as I respected her for going out on her own, the same way Liam and Finn and I once had, the thought of her struggling was surprisingly distressing.

“Also didn’t mean to compare my problems to yours,” Eddie said. “All in all, my life wasn’t that bad. I have no idea what I’d have done if I’d been in your place.”

“We don’t need to compete for who had the shittiest childhood,” I said. “They clearly both sucked in their own ways.”

“Yeah,” she said softly.

A coil of discomfort rooted in my chest. Eddie had always seemed like the sun, orbited by an endless stream of people. And I hated the thought of her trudging through life alone. I watched her face shift from those old hurts to the bright smile she always wore .

She started fidgeting next to me, her leg bouncing, and it became clear that this bright, boisterous version of Eddie was a deliberate choice she made—and had probably been making for years. Instead of gloom, she chose sunshine.

I leaned toward her, unable to resist any longer, and caught her lips, chilled and sweet from the ice cream.

She gasped lightly in response, but didn’t pull away, sinking into me.

I cupped her cheek, and she tilted into my hand, changing the angle.

Her lips drifted across mine, and blood rushed in my ears.

It felt like I was falling or having the world’s most intense sugar rush.

I wanted to keep falling forever. Then Alannah and Grace shrieked.

I jerked back, reality crashing in as I caught my breath. What the hell was I doing kissing Eddie like this? Even if I was willing to look past the age gap or the company policy, I’d promised myself I’d talk to Grace before bringing anyone new into her life.

She whipped around in the direction of the girls. “They’re not fighting, are they?”

My eyes landed on Grace and Alannah. They were jumping and hugging, clutching massive strands of tickets that poured out of one of the machines.

Alannah pointed at a human-sized bear at the prize counter, and Grace nodded enthusiastically.

I groaned. But with the taste of Eddie’s chapstick on my tongue, one giant teddy was the least of my problems.