Page 38 of The Grump I Loathe (The Lockhart Brothers #3)

CONNOR

“ N ot so fast!” Grace complained, out of breath as she jogged to keep up with me. I’d barreled off the jet the moment it set down in Italy, Grace’s wrist clutched in one hand and my phone clutched in the other as I raced through the airport.

“Sorry,” I muttered, readjusting my grip on her hand, slowing slightly as I realized I’d been dragging her along.

She glanced up at me, worried. “Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Because everything is fine,” I said. “Just like I told you on the plane.”

“ Dad .” She huffed. “I know something isn’t right. You can tell me.”

Tell her what exactly? That X had called to tell me Mom had seen a man wearing an emerald-green trilby in a nearby market and was probably about two seconds from going off the deep end? Yeah, I wasn’t going to unpack that old trauma with Grace .

That damn hat had been the only thing my father had left behind when he’d run out on us, and the sight of a similar hat had always been enough to set off a major depressive episode.

Those three words— emerald-green trilby —had been all I’d needed to hear before getting on the jet.

“There’s nothing to tell you,” I insisted. “We’re visiting Grandma. That’s all.”

“You’re lying,” Grace said, annoyed.

“I’m not.”

“You blink a lot when you lie.”

Did I? Whatever. I didn’t have time to worry about that now.

“There’s our ride,” I said, tugging at my tie. The weather was unseasonably hot for October in Italy. I walked over to the driver and helped Grace into the back seat of the black SUV, sliding in beside her. “Put your seatbelt on.”

Grace yawned. “You think Grandma wants to see pictures from the wedding?”

Personally, I didn’t think Mom would be in the right headspace for that, not to mention that I didn’t particularly feel like reliving that night. “I think Grandma’s going to be a little busy,” I said diplomatically. “You’re going to hang out with X’s housekeeper when we get there.”

The last thing I needed was Grace seeing her grandmother in this state.

It changed your perception of the world, watching the adults in your life fall apart, and I wanted to preserve a sense of stability for Grace a little while longer.

“She’s just going to keep an eye on you while I deal with a few things. ”

“Aw, but Da?— ”

“Don’t argue,” I said, my words clipped. Grace quieted, sensing that now was not the time to push me, and pulled out her Nintendo Switch for the duration of the car ride. My phone finally connected to the roaming network, and suddenly I was inundated with messages.

Thanks for taking the jet without telling us , Liam wrote, followed by twenty scowling emojis. Why the hell are you in Italy?

He’d obviously checked the flight logs. I hadn’t even stopped long enough to message my brothers.

Contracts came back signed from Pavilion Games , Darius wrote in another text. All good there.

Well, thank God for small miracles because everything was most certainly not good here . There were some other work-related messages. I scrolled through them frantically. There was nothing from Mom. That wasn’t a good sign. I could only imagine the meltdown X was currently navigating with her.

I knew the pattern all too well. The intense anxiety. The uncontrollable bouts of tears. The sudden mood swings from despair to anger. And finally, the drop into depression that meant she crawled into bed and wouldn’t crawl out again for days.

X would have no idea how to deal with any of that. How to talk Mom down. How to comfort her. He didn’t have the same experience I had.

“Can you go any faster?” I demanded of the driver, my nerves on edge.

He looked at me blankly in the rearview mirror.

Christ, uh…“ Rapido! Rapido! ”

“Ah, sì ,” he said, stepping on the gas. The traffic along the city streets became a blur, and soon we were on a winding country road leading to a massive villa .

“Whoa,” Grace said as we pulled up in front of the stone structure with its white-washed walls, arched windows, and terracotta roof. Greenery twisted around every pillar.

Whoa, indeed . X had clearly spared no expense.

“I love it!” Grace said, jumping out of the car behind me.

The housekeeper, Giulia, met us in the courtyard, and I practically shoved Grace into her arms as I darted into the building in search of Mom.

I hurried down long, sunlit corridors, the windows blowing in more of that too-warm air.

Sweat beaded on my brow, and I pulled at my tie some more.

I popped my head into the master bedroom, expecting to find Mom there, huddled under the covers.

The bed was empty and expertly made.

I doubled back, checking the master bathroom. Down another hall, I breezed through guest rooms and courtyards and a garden. I cut through a dining room, with no trace of Mom. Had she run off? Was she alone and distraught somewhere in the Italian countryside?

A peal of laughter caught my attention suddenly, and I followed it out to an airy patio with a large oblong table and several chairs, shaded by an umbrella. It looked out over an impressive vineyard.

Mom sat at the table with X, an espresso in hand and a pastry on her plate. A crossword book was laid open on the table. She leaned into X, clad in a peach sundress, her floppy hat covering her loose hair. It was the picture of ultimate relaxation, and my head almost exploded at the sight.

“Connor?” Mom said, her voice pitched with surprise. She straightened in her chair, pulling down her sunglasses to better see me.

X blinked, his entire forehead creased. And I was just confused as I snapped my jaw shut .

“Sweetheart!” Mom said, getting to her feet. She looked delighted as I crossed the patio toward her, holding her arms out for a hug. “What are you doing here?”

“What am I…” I gestured from her to X. “He said you saw…the hat?” In our world, that was a five-alarm fire that required immediate intervention. Misplaced adrenaline pulsed through me, my heart thumping too hard against my ribs.

“Oh,” X said sheepishly. “Oh no. I think this is my fault.”

Mom looked perplexed.

“You were upset,” X said a little helplessly. “I only wanted to let Connor know what happened, and to get some advice. I never intended for him to jump on a plane.”

I supposed I hadn’t exactly spelled that out when we’d spoken. I’d just told him to remove her from the environment before messaging the airport staff.

“Ah,” Mom said softly. “I see.” She reached out and squeezed X’s hand. “Can we have a moment?”

“Of course, love,” he said, getting up and kissing her forehead. “I’ll just be in the den.”

Confusion pulsed in my temples as X walked away. My world was off its axis.

“Sit?” Mom said, returning to her chair.

I did, flopping down like my limbs were boneless.

“Is Grace here?”

“She’s with the housekeeper,” I said.

“I’m so glad. She’ll love Italy. It’s so wonderful that you two are here. ”

“Mom,” I said, massaging the space between my eyes. “I just flew twelve hours to get here because I thought you needed me. And you’re sitting here like…nothing happened?”

Mom tilted her head, humming in agreement. “And this was exactly why I didn’t tell you. I knew you’d have this kind of reaction. X is sweet for worrying over me, and I’m not surprised he called you for advice,” she said. “But you both worry about me too much.”

I was less than thrilled to hear the comparison. X had no idea what it was to support Mom through all of her issues. I’d been here since the beginning. He couldn’t just show up and try to take over.

“I didn’t think X had time to worry about anything outside his little director world.”

“Hey,” Mom said, shutting that down with a hard look.

“X cares about me very much. Why do you think he called you despite my insistence that I was fine? He wanted me to have the best help available, and he wanted to keep you in the loop, to build a bridge that you’ve been fighting so hard against. I’ll talk to him about worrying you like that when there’s no need, but you should also know I don’t need you to drop everything and come running for me anymore. ”

“I didn’t drop everything?—”

Mom tilted her head, giving me a look from beneath her sun hat.

“You’re the one who has repeatedly stood up for me when it comes to your brothers, telling them that I’ve gotten my life together—that they don’t have to tiptoe around me anymore, just waiting for me to fall apart.

So when are you going to start believing that of me? ”

It wasn’t that I didn’t believe it. It was that I was always there anyway. Just in case. “You’re saying you don’t need me?” Bitterness crept into my voice. “You’re fine figuring it all out with X? ”

“Of course I need you, Connor. X hasn’t come into my life to kick you out of it. I just need you differently than I did before. Just like Grace will need you differently as she gets older. Right now, most of all, I need you to be my son. Not my caretaker.”

I grumbled.

“I’m serious. It’s time for you to start living your life for you and not for everyone else.” Mom gave me a smug little smile. “Your new lady friend probably would prefer that.”

“H—” I stumbled over my words. “How do you know about that?”

“Oh, honey, I’m your mother.” She reached out and squeezed my forearm.

“I noticed your behavior change, so the next time I was with Grace, I dropped in some casual questions about whether any nice lady friends had been around lately. She mentioned someone by the name of Eddie. Apparently, you were all making pancakes and Eddie is very cool.”

“Well,” I said, choking out the word. “No one needs to be gossiping about that anymore. It’s over.

” I was getting better at ignoring the hurt that sentence caused.

It’s not like it was love, anyway. There was no need to get bent out of shape about it.

The relationship was done. And we’d both moved on. Right?

Mom frowned at my admission. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Not really.