Page 16

15

RAVEN

I ’m on the bed, half asleep, when the lock finally rattles and Wraith steps inside. There’s a soft glow from the small lamp I left lit on the desk. Ember and I hung out for a couple of hours. She even grabbed us some pizza from the kitchen, but I considered Wraith’s concern for me and stayed in the room out of harm’s way rather than going with her. I didn’t want to bring any more stress into his life. So, I’d spent the rest of the time alone and made myself useful by tidying his room a little.

“Hey,” I say quietly.

“Didn’t mean to wake you,” he says gruffly.

I push myself to sitting and rub my hands over my face. “You didn’t. This is my weak attempt at staying awake until I knew you were okay.”

He slips out of his leather jacket with the club logo on the back and hangs it on the door before pulling his thick hoodie over his head. Finally, he walks over to the bed. “You waited up to check I was okay?”

“I did.”

Wraith sits on the side of the bed and reaches out to touch my cheek. “I like that you cared enough to do that.”

I close my eyes and lean into his touch, which is as soft as gossamer. All too fleeting. Then he removes his hand as though I burned him.

“Just need to use the shower, then I’m gonna find somewhere to sleep,” he says.

I look at the large king bed and realize I hadn’t given enough thought about what would happen when the club settled down for the night. “You don’t have to go. We’re both adults. I’m sure you can stay on your side of the bed.”

Wraith’s gaze narrows. His eyes so pale a blue, they’re glacial in the half light. “I can do that.”

His words hover between us. I can’t decide if they are a statement, a question, or a challenge.

My words, thoughts, and actions are all out of alignment. I want to tell him to slip into the bed with me. To warm the pieces of me that have felt chilled since the Russian men broke into our home and I realized I had been abandoned by the one man who was meant to be my safe space.

But my thoughts constrain me. The phrase out of the frying pan, into the fire springs to mind. No matter how lonely I feel, shifting to a life like this can’t be the right move.

I look down at where my hand rests on his thigh, kneading without consideration of the consequences.

Maybe those autonomous actions are the truth.

“Let me go get that shower.” He stands and goes to his dresser. He rummages in the drawer for a second, then pulls out a long-sleeve Henley. “Here. Put this on. It’s gonna be uncomfortable sleeping in those jeans.”

I watch as he tugs his hair up into a messy bun on top of his head before grabbing some pajamas from the drawer. Plaid pants and a T-shirt.

He doesn’t look back at me as he disappears into the bathroom.

I wait until I hear the whoosh of water before getting to my feet. The floor is cool to the touch as I strip quickly, getting fully naked except for my panties before slipping the Henley over my head, even though I have pajamas in my bag. The sleeves swamp my hands, and I fold up the edges. The hem skims just above my knees.

Wraith wore a shirt just like this the day he lugged the dresser up the stairs, and it hugged his body perfectly. It looks like a dress on me.

The water turns off with a shuddering thud through the old pipes, and I make quick work of folding my clothes.

By the time he gets back into the bedroom, I’m buried beneath the covers, a fraction from the edge of the bed.

“You try sleeping any farther away from me, you’ll end up on the floor.” There’s humor in his tone.

“Sorry. Just trying to be respectful of your space.”

Wraith looks too good in his pajamas. The pants sit low on his hips, the T-shirt reveals thick biceps and black-and-gray ink covering every available surface. In the half-light, I can’t tell what they all are, and Lord knows I don’t want him to catch me staring.

He clicks off the lamp, and I jostle a little as he climbs into the bed beside me. I was right to stay close to the edge. Wraith is a big man who is used to taking up space and feeling comfortable.

The comforter and sheets lift and settle.

And then a strange silence blankets the two of us.

The distant hum of music filters into the room from the bar. The chatter and laughter of people still awake occasionally reaches us.

But between the two of us, it’s deathly quiet.

I worry about breathing too loud, about coughing, or making any of the myriad other noises you can make while asleep.

A wild hum vibrates through me as I realize I’m in bed with a new man after so many years with my husband. It’s an excited, arousing energy that has my heart beating faster than it should, given I’m meant to be sleeping.

“Are you gonna toss and turn over there all night, Blue?” Wraith’s voice cuts through the silence.

I realize I’ve shifted to my side, facing him. “I’m sorry. This is just…”

There’s the whispered rustle of sheets as he turns to face me. “Just what?”

“It’s a lot. Confusing. Tempting.”

“You’re safe here.”

“I’m lying in a biker’s bed, in a motorcycle club’s clubhouse. My son is nowhere near me. And I’m here to stay safe from some unknown threat I had no clue about until you showed up to get me.”

Wraith humphs, or makes some similar kind of grunting noise. “I meant in this bed. With me. In these four walls within this clubhouse. You’re safe here . The rest is open for discussion.”

The pragmatic way in which he says it makes me smile.

His hand reaches across the bed and takes mine. “You can’t sleep?” His calluses abrade my skin, reminding me that this is a hardworking man. His thumb brushes over my knuckles.

“I feel unsettled.”

“You need me to go? Plenty of places I can lay my head tonight if you want this bed to yourself.”

“No.” The word comes out too fast, too firm. “No, you don’t need to. I guess I’m trying to make sense of it all. You, me, this. I’m here, but I don’t know why I’m here, which I know doesn’t make any sense.”

“Been thinking similar thoughts since the moment I called. Can’t explain it. I’m not a relationship guy, but I can’t stop thinking about you either. Any other woman, I’d suggest fucking it out of our system, yet here you are, in my bed, and we’re talking.”

Images of him pulling me closer flash through my brain. Of him dominating me in the way I’ve always craved but never received. “Is that what you want to do with me?”

He pushes a lock of hair behind my ear. “You don’t strike me as a one-night-stand kind of woman, and that’s all I’m offering.”

Is that all it would be?

My treasonous reasoning fractures. A part of me wants to revel in the freedom of a no-strings moment with this man.

The other silently cries out, What if one time isn’t enough?

But it’s better than never knowing.

I don’t feel guilty about my husband. He abandoned me long before Wraith climbed into this bed. I just want to be needed by someone, even if tonight is all he needs me for. “Then teach me how to be one.”

“Not that simple, Blue. Can’t teach you how to separate sex and emotions. Only you can do that.”

“You’re confusing, Wraith. I don’t think you would have brought me here today if this were only a fleeting itch you wanted some woman to scratch.”

He tugs me closer, sliding his strong arms around me. His warmth immediately hits me, along with the scent of the soap he used during his shower. “I’m confusing myself. Not sure where the fuck I’m going with all this.”

His hand rubs tenderly up and down my spine, grounding me as I arch against him.

His body is solid, a physical anchor to my spiraling thoughts.

His cock is hard, making it impossible to separate me needs from my own self-interest.

“There are lots of reasons we shouldn’t do this,” he says. “But I can’t think of any of them right now when you feel this good in my arms.”

“I can’t pretend I wasn’t relieved and excited when you opened the door, even though I know getting involved with you is a bad idea for me and Fen.”

“What if we pretended for tonight that I’m just Axel, and you’re just Raven, and this room is anywhere but here?”

My heart beats so fast, I fear for its safety. “I’m not sure I’m mentally ready to sleep with you yet. My body’s there, but…”

“Then take whatever you need. Let me get you out of these clothes. Let me wrap myself around you and sleep with you, knowing you’re safe. Perhaps both of us will think more clearly in the morning.”

“I think I want more than that, though. Physically, I want all of you.”

He kisses my cheek gently, his breath warm against my skin. “Me too. Banging this out of our systems could be a fine idea.”

“You think that’s all this will be.”

“It’s all it can be, Blue. I need to know what it would feel like to fuck you. But, if you tell me to stop, I’ll listen.”

When he kisses me, it seals my decision. We’re both here. We’re both adults. And his kiss is so consuming it’s impossible to pull away. I feel the brush of his scruff against my skin as his firm lips torture me with the promise of everything now, and nothing tomorrow.

His hands slip beneath the hem of my borrowed Henley, and I can barely breathe. Slowly, he begins to gather fabric upwards, exposing my thighs, my butt, my ribs. By the time he grips my waist, then strokes his fingers over my skin, I’m fit to burst.

Anticipation swirls between us, an eddy current that grows with every second. Wraith never takes his eyes away from mine. Never looks down at what his actions are revealing.

My breath catches in my throat.

“You’re beautiful.” His fingers stroke softly over the area where I’m bruised, even though he can’t see the faded marks in the dark. “And I want to kill the fucker who hurt you.”

“Axel.”

My use of his name causes his pupils to flare.

“I need to see you, Blue. Are you going to let me strip you and then lie there naked so I can see all of you? Or is that too far?”

God, how long have I wanted a man to speak to me like this.

The heavy throb in my clit tells me it isn’t anywhere close to enough. But I nod.

“Good girl.” He sits up and slides his Henley over my head. I barely notice the loss of warmth. He dips his fingers beneath the waistband of my panties, and it tickles as he moves across my stomach. He places a soft kiss just above the elastic before lowering them down my thighs to remove them.

“Can I see you too?” I ask. My voice is raspy, filled with need.

He rips the T-shirt he’s wearing over his head, revealing a chest as solid and firm as I imagined. Then he kneels up and shoves the pajamas over his hips. I can’t imagine how painful it must have been to tattoo his groin or the long black line on the underside of his penis, but it’s the metal that glints on either side of his cock that must have been most horrendous.

“Oh my God, is that a piercing?”

He palms his cock and grins. “It is. Is it going to be a problem?”