Page 9
Story: The Governess of My Heart
“ E at, Lizzy,” Charlotte said, looking at her friend’s distressed face as Elizabeth sat in the breakfast parlor with mixed emotions. She had hardly slept the previous night, and everything about her future looked uncertain.
“I am unable to think about the consequences of my action,” she said, with guilt.
“I do not think you had a choice.”
“I have ruined the reputation of my family and my sisters. Knowing the truth now does not lessen the affection I had for them all these years.”
“How could you even think about their welfare? They tried to ruin your life,” Charlotte cried with anger.
Elizabeth was silent.
“I need to find the truth about my mother, and I cannot digest their accusations of her character. My uncle should have been aware of what had happened, but why did he never disclose anything to me? I have a good bond with my aunt; even she chose to hide this,” she said in confusion.
“It would not be difficult for me to find their address, and you can meet them once they return. I feel Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are not divulging the entire truth.”
“I cannot stay here until then.”
“Well, we spent half the night arguing about your decision to work, and I understand that you don’t want to stay here.
I will not force you if that is what you prefer.
I have already written to some acquaintances to find a suitable position for you.
But think about it, Lizzy. You have us, and working under someone is unnecessary. ”
“I understand your concern for my well-being, but I want to start a new life and support myself,” she said with resolve.
Charlotte understood Elizabeth’s reasoning but was worried about her welfare. By evening, they were surprised by the arrival of a servant from Longbourn.
“Do not worry, Lizzy. I will handle it,” Charlotte said.
She met the servant, and it was Mr. Hill.
“Good evening, Mrs. Davis. I was sent here by Mr. Bennet.”
“Good evening! It is good to see you. May I enquire on what matter?” Charlotte asked calmly.
Mr. Hill hesitated for a second.
“Something alarming has happened in Longbourn. Miss Lizzy has been missing since yesterday morning.”
“Good Lord!”
“My master has sent me to enquire whether she has come here.”
“I do not understand. Why would Lizzy come here? Did she say that she would meet me?”
“We do not know, madam.”
“This is alarming. If you cannot find her in Hertfordshire, then please report her disappearance and get the help needed to find her. I don’t understand why you are here.”
“But she is your good friend, and my master thought…”
“She is, and I am her well-wisher, too. But I don’t think she would dare to come alone to town. She has never been here, and I cannot tell you how worried I am about her welfare. How can she suddenly disappear? Did something happen at Longbourn?”
Mr. Hill knew about Mr. Collins’s proposal and that it was the reason Elizabeth was missing, but he could not disclose it to Charlotte.
“I do not know, madam,” he said troubled.
“Well, you are wasting your time here. Please tell Mr. Bennet to get help from my father and find Elizabeth. This news truly vexes me,” she said, and Mr. Hill left with worry as he had truly hoped he would find her in town. Once he left, Elizabeth joined Charlotte anxiously.
“Poor, Mr. Hill. He must be truly worried about me, and I had to stop myself from rushing into the room and explaining everything.”
“I know. But we cannot be careless, Lizzy. I think nobody except Mary should know about your whereabouts until your aunt and uncle arrive.”
“I hope nobody else comes looking for me. The sooner I find employment, the better, as I am certain my father might come looking for me.”
***
Meanwhile, in Longbourn, Mr. Bennet was agitated by the information from Mr. Hill.
“I thought she would be there. Now, where is she? What am I to do?”
“I knew she wouldn’t be there. She is a coward, and I think she is lying dead somewhere. Good riddance! We took care of her for all these years for nothing,” Mrs. Bennet cried spitefully.
“We will be shunned amongst our acquaintances if we cannot find her.”
“We must think about a story to go with her disappearance.”
“What can we possibly say?” Mr. Bennet said.
“I want to slander her reputation and declare she ran away with some stable boy, but that will affect our daughters. I wish we could tell everyone that she was not born to us, but then we have to explain so many details about the past. Let us tell everyone she ran away to the Gardiners. Nobody would even bother to check about her whereabouts in town.”
“Won’t people ask why she did that?”
“I will handle it. If she is not already dead, I will definitely kill her if she steps into this house again. By now, she could have married that man and left us. I wish she had died along with her mother,” she sneered, and her husband said nothing.
Mary was disgusted by how her family behaved, as no one was bothered about Elizabeth’s disappearance.
“Listen, girls, this is what we do. She is not at Charlotte’s place, and we do not know where she is. But we will tell everyone that she ran away to Uncle Gardiner.”
“But they are not in town,” Kitty said.
“I know, but no one is aware of it here.”
“But Mamma, people will question why she ran away,” Jane asked.
“Let them assume whatever the reason is. If someone asks me, I will handle it. But this is the story; stick to it.”
“I have always had a feeling that she planned to shame us somehow,” Jane said.
“She advised me on improper conduct; now see what she has done. Maybe she ran away with someone in Meryton. She visits the bookstore often; maybe someone there,” Lydia said with sarcasm.
“Enough! That is enough! She is our sister, and you have no concern about her welfare. I do not think you have any right to question her decision. Tell me, Lydia, would you have married Mr. Collins or run away?” Mary asked with anger.
“Stop it, Mary. Go upstairs. That chit has horribly influenced you.”
Everyone went to bed at Longbourn that night, mentally prepared to erase Elizabeth from their memories forever. Mrs. Bennet was still angry and knew they had to suffer because of it. She hoped Jane would make a fortunate match despite the situation.
Everyone slept except Mary. She lay in her bed crying, missing her sister and hoping she was safe.
***
A couple of days passed and Elizabeth was restless despite her friend’s assurance that everything would turn out all right. Charlotte heard back from her friends about the position Elizabeth was looking for.
Several references came through, and Charlotte was satisfied with one family in town some distance away from the hustle and bustle.
Elizabeth and Charlotte were to meet the family that evening.
“There is something I need to discuss with you before we leave,” Elizabeth said.
“What is it?”
“I don’t want to be Elizabeth Bennet anymore.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I need to have a different name, Charlotte. I don’t want anyone to find out that I work in London. It would be very easy for them to trace me if I bear the Bennet name.”
“What if they do? We will not allow anyone to harm you. Your family has no right over you anymore after they declared that you are not their own daughter. Do not be afraid, Lizzy.”
“I know you will protect me. But if something like that happens, my chances of finding another employment are very remote. I want to live without any attachment to the past and need another identity.”
“So, you do not want to be a Bennet.”
“Yes!”
“All right, if the purpose is not to attract any attention to yourself, then we can call you Elizabeth Smith, Miss Smith. How does it sound?”
“I find it suitable. But what am I to say to my employer about my relations?”
“I don’t see why you should declare all the horrid details that happened to you in your home. You are on your own now; maybe we can just say you have an aunt in town, but you want to support yourself by working. Lizzy, I think it should not matter.”
Elizabeth considered it carefully. She knew she would not be welcome in any house if she revealed the details about the past, but she hated to be dishonest.
What choice do I have?
“Do not feel guilty about anything. Your family is the one who should feel shame and guilt. You must be proud of your willpower and resolve to live on your own terms. I am proud of you, Lizzy. I don’t think I would have had the courage to free myself from such a situation.”
Finally, Elizabeth agreed to call herself Miss Smith and reveal nothing about her past. They met with the family she was to be employed with.
Her employer was Mr. Brooks, who lived on the outskirts of town. He and his wife, Mrs. Tracy Brooks, had two young children, a nine-year-old boy and a seven-year-old girl.
Elizabeth was apprehensive about the meeting, but the couple were kind and friendly.
“Adam is a very obedient child, but Clara is naughty. Our previous governess was not accommodative of their needs. We do not want them to detest learning but enjoy it. Have you had any experience before as a governess, Miss Smith?” Mrs. Brook asked.
“I do not, madam. But I have experience teaching younger ones, my sisters,” she paused. “I mean, my distant relatives.”
“You say you do not have any family.”
“Yes, except for my aunt.”
Elizabeth felt guilty for hiding many details about her life and looked at her friend with distress. Charlotte gave her a reassuring nod.
“We cannot make an immediate decision. We will be interviewing some more references for this position. We will inform you within a week.”
Charlotte and Elizabeth left their home with hope. Elizabeth liked the family and thought it would be a good place to start a new life.
If they offer me the position, I should be able to work here at least until Uncle Gardiner returns.
Within a week, Charlotte received a letter from Mr. Brooks asking Elizabeth to join as the governess, and Elizabeth was happy with the news.
“I cannot believe it, and I am so glad they are giving me this opportunity. Thank you, Charlotte, as I am certain your friend put in a word for me.”
“I hope you will be happy and safe there. I would never be able to let you leave if you were to go far away from us,” Charlotte said.
“I will be.”
Elizabeth left to join her employment within a few days, and the friends said a tearful goodbye.
You deserve a better life, Lizzy. I will pray for you every day.
Charlotte thought as the carriage sped away.
At the same time Elizabeth’s carriage left, another carriage entered a townhouse on the opposite side of town.
Darcy entered his house without excitement as he never favored town. He had left Georgiana in Ramsgate with a companion he hired.
I should have brought her along. But the sea air should be better for her health.
He sat in his study and wondered why he always felt out of place in town. He hated social engagements and found it difficult to be in the company of any woman who wanted to impress and capture his heart.
He lay awake that night for a long time, unable to sleep. On the other side of town, Elizabeth did the same, repeating the same thing over and over again.
I am not a Bennet anymore.
Table of Contents
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- Page 9 (Reading here)
- Page 10
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