Page 49

“Good… good morning, sir,” she stammered, finally meeting his eye. Even though he looked calm and composed, Elizabeth could sense the stiffness in his demeanor.

She realized it was not easy for him to be in the same room as her, as he had declared.

“Georgiana, Miss Anderson has been asking for you,” he said, looking at his sister. At that moment, Edmund pestered him to look at his drawing, and Georgiana left downstairs, knowing that Elizabeth would join them downstairs as well.

Elizabeth held her breath as Darcy kneeled beside Edmund, looking at his drawing.

“Fitzwilliam, look at mine,” Emily cried, wanting to impress Darcy.

Darcy looked at the paper the little girl held and saw a drawing of tulips.

“Miss Smith helped me color them red. Do you like it?” Emily asked.

Darcy looked at Elizabeth, his eyes speaking volumes of what he felt.

“Yes, I do; they are beautiful. Tulips are my favorite flower, especially those Miss Smith has taught you to draw.”

Elizabeth trembled at his gaze, colored, and half wished Georgiana had stayed back. The children began clearing up their work as it was time for lunch.

“I hope Georgiana invited you; we would like all of you to stay with us before the ball,” Darcy said to her.

“She did. Thank you for the invite,” she replied, trying her best to act normal. She now understood that it would not be easy for them to keep their relationship a secret.

Meanwhile, Darcy fought hard to avoid her. It pained him to address her as “Miss Smith.”

“I will see you downstairs,” he said and left her, noticing the blush on her cheek.

Elizabeth merely nodded, well aware of the agony of spending time in his company amongst the others.

During lunch, she sat beside Mr. Anderson, and Darcy sat beside Georgiana and Lady Martha. Elizabeth found it extremely difficult to concentrate on her plate. The conversation circled around the ball.

“We are delighted to be a part of the harvest ball this year, Mr. Darcy. I thank you once again for your invitation to stay in Pemberley. Beatrice has particularly enjoyed calling on Miss Darcy in your absence to provide company,” Lady Anderson said.

Miss Anderson smiled at Darcy, hoping to gain his affection.

“Yes, Mr. Darcy, your estate is so grand, and Miss Darcy gave me a tour of the whole house. We enjoy spending time with each other,” declared Miss Anderson.

Georgiana looked at her brother, and Darcy immediately understood that was not the case. The truth was, Georgiana was left with no choice but to entertain Miss Anderson, the few times she had called on her in Pemberley.

Darcy was used to women trying to woo him all the time, but with Elizabeth in the same room, he felt highly irritated by Miss Anderson’s intentions.

“I am glad to have all of you stay with us this year,” he said, looking at Lord Anderson.

“The children are very excited to be a part of the celebration, Fitzwilliam,” Lady Martha said, and it was agreed that they would stay in Pemberley a couple of days before the ball.

The harvest ball was planned that Sunday.

As for Darcy, he was fighting to spend time with Elizabeth away from the others. Georgiana and Darcy left after dinner.

Darcy bowed to her formally before he left, and Elizabeth could sense his struggle. She passed the day restlessly, waiting in anticipation for the next morning.

In the evening, she wrote letters to Mary and Charlotte.

Elizabeth wanted Charlotte to be aware of her engagement as well.

Meanwhile, Darcy paced restlessly in his chamber that evening, feeling happiness and distress in equal measure.

He wanted to claim Elizabeth’s hand without delay and give her the life she deserved.

It was unnerving for him to spend time in her company, keeping their engagement a secret.

Darcy was impatient for the following day, as they had decided to meet on the same trail.

Both of them spent a restless night, and as the morning dawned, Elizabeth left as early as possible to meet him.

The air was colder, and she hoped it would not rain.

As expected, Darcy waited for her near the stream. He looked earnest as he saw her approach. Elizabeth slowly walked towards him, trying to compose herself, but Darcy stood rooted.

She reached him and stood without saying a word. Darcy wanted to pull her into his arms but controlled himself.

“How have you been, Elizabeth?” he asked, fighting the urge to touch her cheek.

“As well as you saw me yesterday,” she said with a smile.

Darcy held out his hand, and Elizabeth took it.

“Are you well?” she inquired, seeing his tired face.

“No, I am not well. Every moment away from you is torture; I cannot begin to explain how hard it is for me to keep our engagement a secret,” he said with torment.

“I understand; trust me, I feel the same way.”

“Then tell me, how long do you want us to suffer? I misjudged my own sentiments in this matter; I do not know how long I can endure this pain.”

“I am so sorry, but I feel we need this time. I thought about what you said yesterday. Do you want to confront my parents?”

“I do. I absolutely do.”

“Then maybe we can head to town and meet my uncle. As I said, he is my guardian, even though I did not want to stay with him. He came to Ashton Park a few months ago and requested that I leave with him. I declined, even though he was sincere in his words; the fact he despised my mother made me make that choice. But I do not hold him in contempt; my aunt is why I could employ myself in Ashton Park.”

“Do you need his consent for our marriage?”

“No, but I do not want to get married without the only family I have.”

“I understand.”

Elizabeth and Darcy sat down by the stream. She quickly explained the letter she had discovered in the jewel box and the mystery surrounding her mother.

“My parents would never tell us the truth of what happened to my mother. When I inquired with my uncle, he mentioned the same details. But someone must know.”

“We will find the truth. I will take every action on my part to unravel the details. Elizabeth, it is a matter concerning both of us now. Are you willing to marry me after that?”

“Yes, I will. I understand that there is a very slight chance that we may discover the truth. I am so grateful that you are doing this for me.”

“For us,” Darcy corrected.

“Mr. Darcy…I…”

“Fitzwilliam,” Darcy corrected.

Elizabeth blushed.

“I cannot call you that way.”

“Why not?”

“Because I have always addressed you as Mr. Darcy, even in my thoughts.”

Darcy smiled.

“Then you better start practicing soon.”

“I will try. You always scare me, and Mr. Darcy suits you better,” she said teasingly, making Darcy laugh.

She handed him some letters and requested Darcy to send them to Charlotte.

“Charlotte will find a way to send my letter to Mary as soon as possible. I cannot believe how Mary helped us. She has been my only support in Hertfordshire.”

“She is a very sensible young woman. The moment I saw her; she reminded me of you. I can send this through an express rider, and it should reach your friend soon. Why did you leave employment in town?” Darcy asked.

Elizabeth hesitated; she felt embarrassed to relate to the events in town.

“I apologize, I did not mean to be intrusive,” Darcy said, discerning her discomfort.

“Please do not. Mary is unaware of the details, as I did not want to cause her worry.”

She explained the unfortunate incident that transpired in town, while she was employed there. Darcy’s blood boiled as she mentioned what she was subjected to.

“That incident still haunts me. When you walked into the library in Pemberley that evening, I was reliving the same, and that’s why I reacted to you like that.”

“I am so sorry. I knew you feared me that day, but I could not attribute it to what. That day, I finally realized I was deeply in love with you. It was so difficult for me that night not to run to your room and check on your welfare.”

“You always saw through me, which is why I was rude to you.”

“And because you loved me,” he added.

“Yes, because I loved you. You must hate me for what I put you through,” she said, recollecting all their past experiences.

“No, you wanted to sacrifice your love for my well-being; it only shows your regard for me. Without you, there is no place in the world I could be happy.”

His words warmed her heart.

“Are you worried about leaving Ashton Park? I know you are very attached to the children and Lady Martha, but we will always be close to them.”

“I am still trying to accept the reality of leaving my position. Lady Martha has treated me more like a member of the family, and I am truly indebted to her. As for the children, I do not know how they will react to the news.”

“It will not be easy for them. On the other hand, you must know how elated Georgiana would be with the news.”

“Yes, I do. She had been such an amazing friend, and I cannot express how happy I am to have her as my sister. Poor Georgiana, I declined to call on her at Pemberley so many times because of my notion to avoid you. She has been so generous when it comes to me.”

“I hope you both will not spend hours together in the music room and ignore me when we are married.”

To this, Elizabeth laughed heartily, imagining Darcy sitting alone in his study when she spent time with Georgiana in the music room at his estate. Her laughter was like music to his ears; it had been long since he had heard her laugh.

“I cannot promise you anything,” Elizabeth finally said.

“We have a few more days before you come to stay in Pemberley. Are you ready to disclose our engagement to Lady Martha before that?” Darcy asked eagerly.

“She must be the first to know, along with Georgiana.”

“Of course, and can we announce our engagement to the rest during the ball.”

Elizabeth did not know what to say; every single action of Darcy made her realize the depth of his affection.

“I do not know what to say. Will it be appropriate?”

“Absolutely, it is the right way to announce our engagement. However, I will speak to Lady Martha and Georgiana before that. We can leave for town after the ball. I plan to write to my contacts in town before requesting their assistance to find out the truth about your mother.”

Elizabeth gave him details about the Gardiner family.

“My mother was the youngest, and my aunt says she was my grandfather’s favorite child. My uncle has no idea about my father; he claims he was away learning trade. He told me that she refused to reveal who my father was and said that I was born out of wedlock.”

“You mentioned that your uncle inherited your grandfather’s business.”

“Yes, my aunt mentioned that my grandfather’s business was running at a loss. Hence, my uncle had traveled to learn a new trade. He was absent from home for almost two years, and that is when my mother met someone in town. They do not know anything else.”

“There must be more to the story, and someone must know the truth. Do not worry; we will find out. I want to take you to Hertfordshire, and this time, Mr. Bennet will have to pay for all his misdeeds. I am not going to spare Mr. Collins either. I admire your strength in all this. Despite facing so much in your past, you have given only happiness to the people around you here.”

“All except you. I still cannot forgive myself for the hurtful things I said during your proposal,” she said in a small voice.

Darcy held Elizabeth’s hand to his chest.

“I can never forget your countenance that day. Even though you firmly declared that you hated me, your eyes expressed the opposite. The look of guilt and helplessness disguised in anger made me question your words. I wish you had opened up to me that day and trusted me. I have nothing but love for you. You are my world, Elizabeth, and I cannot imagine a life without you. When I hear your story, I am so proud of your courage. Not many would have the strength and maturity you have for your age.”

“I…I have something else to confess.”

Darcy looked at her with confusion.

“I would not be alive today if not for you.”

“What do you mean?” Darcy asked in shock.

Feeling guilty, Elizabeth, explained how she had almost jumped off the cliff a few seconds before their first meeting. She watched the horror on Darcy’s face as she narrated her temperament that morning, and his grip on her hand tightened as she spoke.

“Good God!” he finally cried, understanding that he would have lost her forever.

“I am so sorry. I do not know what came over me that morning. It was an impulsive decision, and when I heard your voice, I realized the blunder I had almost committed.”

Without thought, Darcy pulled her into his arms and could not speak for a long time.

“Fitzwilliam?” she said in a small voice, feeling protected in his arms. It was the first time she had addressed him so, but Darcy could not rejoice. The very thought of Elizabeth wanting to end her life horrified him.

“Please be honest with me. Have you attempted it again?” he asked with agony.

“I have not. You must believe me; that moment has passed,” she cried.

“That day, I felt I had nothing to live for. I could not forget my past, but now I have you. I love you and would never dream of hurting you in any way.”

“Elizabeth, I will never let anyone harm you ever. Promise me that you will never think in that direction.”

“I promise you, I will not. I know how much you love me, and I will never do anything to hurt you again. I want to live for our love and happiness,” she said earnestly.

“I trust you,” he said, deeply concerned about her welfare.

It was time for them to leave, but Darcy was not ready to let her out of his sight. Elizabeth promised him that she would meet him the next morning. As they began to understand each other better, he finally understood her reasoning for having a few days to themselves.

“Georgiana informed me that she would not call on me today. Does that mean I will not see you as well?” Elizabeth asked as they rose to leave.

“You leave me no choice. Or I could take the liberty and call on you without my sister,” he said, smiling. Elizabeth half wished that he would.

Darcy wanted to speak to Lady Martha without delay, and Elizabeth agreed. She was to leave for Pemberley on Thursday, but Darcy decided to meet Lady Martha the day before to discuss this.

We have two more days to ourselves .

Both thought as they separated down the trail.