Page 4 of The Gossip War (Pride and Prejudice Shorts #1)

I could reasonably be excused for swooning when Lizzy said she was engaged to Mr Darcy.

My first thought was, ‘of course they are engaged—why would they not be?’ They both seemed like admirable people to me (and to be honest, the lady doth protest too much). Four days in company was more than enough time for them to resolve their misunderstandings and fall in love.

That thought, however, was quickly overrun by the fact that my sister would not and could not keep such a secret from me.

Even beyond that, Mr Darcy would not propose while we were in the same house, as that would demand a rapid departure to satisfy propriety.

If the pair had an understanding, it was of the informal kind at best. Even that seemed unlikely since she could barely tolerate the man twelve hours earlier, as far as I could tell.

One of Lizzy’s tricks seemed a much more likely explanation.

My thinking is not as rapid as Lizzy’s, and after being bedridden for four days, it was not exactly in top form anyway.

It took me a moment to puzzle out that my sister identified some sort of problem and solution in less than ten minutes.

Once I came to that conclusion, I knew all would be well.

Of course, by that time it was entirely too late to swoon anyway (a touch anticlimactic, if you ask me).

I cannot say I enjoyed watching Mr Bingley put on a mask as easily as he put on his hat or boots (easier, since gentlemen’s boots are notoriously difficult).

Once I worked out (long after Lizzy) that the man and his entire family were involved in a compromise attempt against Mr Darcy, my whole view of the world shifted.

What a stroke was this for me! I would willingly have gone through the world without believing that so much wickedness existed in the whole race of mankind, as was there collected in one family.

Not one to mess about with middling feelings, I went from thinking the absolute best I could of the Bingleys to the very worst in an instant.

I finally saw how insincere the pretensions of the sisters were, and how inconstant the so-called gentleman’s attentions.

It seemed likely the cad had been preparing Mr Darcy for this crime for years.

I briefly wondered why Lizzy felt the need to rescue Mr Darcy, given her animosity.

I eventually surmised her innate sense of fairness was sufficient explanation.

The fact that he was handsome and rich did not hurt, and my conclusion (right or wrong) that one could not dislike someone so intensely without admiring him just a bit had no bearing on the matter.

As soon as the Bingleys went elsewhere to sleep or strategize, Lizzy turned to me.

“Save the explanations for later, Jane. I asked Mr Darcy to join us in the library in a half-hour. We need to leave this house… tonight… now!”

Such was obvious, so I simply nodded and turned back to my room to gather my necessities and dress in a simple morning gown that did not require help or stays.

Since my hair was braided for sleep, I let it fend for itself.

Mother sent a month’s worth of clothes for me and a pittance for Lizzy, but we only intended to take what we wore, and servants could bring the rest.

For all I knew, we would be walking to Longbourn. I did not look forward to it but knew I could manage. I was recovered from a cold, not a broken leg.

The mantle clock said 1:40 when we arrived in the library to find Mr Darcy waiting, surprisingly calmly.

Ever the gentleman (yes… really), he bowed. “Miss Bennet… Miss Elizabeth… I am sorry to have you dragged you into this debacle.”

Lizzy shocked both of us with her reply.

“I am not! Who knows what would have happened if that man kept courting Jane, or we were not there to interrupt their plans? What if Jane married the cretin? You were not the only one in danger of a misalliance, sir. I am more than satisfied with this result.”

I was far from satisfied but would not say that aloud. “I am sorry to learn of the Bingleys’ duplicity, but I agree with Lizzy—better late than never. May I ask, was this a family affair as it appears?”

Mr Darcy walked back to the door and locked it, then dragged a table before it for good measure, and asked politely, “Pray have a seat, ladies.”

Lizzy said, “We should not linger. Jane and I need to get to Longbourn. It is a clear night and a three-quarter moon. We can easily walk there before four.”

Mr Darcy just laughed. “I am sure you could, but just as certain that neither my pride nor my sense of duty can allow that. I will escort you. If nothing else, my desire to escape this house is at least as strong as yours.”

Lizzy did not argue. “We should delay the Bingleys’ knowledge of our departure as long as possible to preserve the element of surprise.”

Mr Darcy looked at me thoughtfully. “You obviously ride, Miss Bennet. Do you, Miss Elizabeth?”

Elizabeth, for the first time in her life, looked like she wished for a different answer but gave hers honestly.

“No, sir. I had a bad fall when I was young and never got over it. If you escort Jane, I can walk easily enough. You will be lucky to beat me by a quarter-hour.”

I quite enjoyed the look of consternation on Mr Darcy’s face, and decided to save him some bother, since arguing with Lizzy is worse than with a rock (or our mother).

“Be sensible, Lizzy! You can ride with Mr Darcy. You have seen his horse. It could carry all three of us while pulling a carriage.”

The joke had the necessary effect, and Mr Darcy chuckled.

“That is entirely true… my horse is a beast. I also find the idea of taking Miss Bingley’s horse and saddle for you satisfying, if you have no objections. Yours returned to Longbourn days ago. Naturally, I will take Miss Elizabeth on mine and deliver her safely to Longbourn.”

Elizabeth looked dubious, but I smiled. “I like the idea. Our most trustworthy groom can return it before five, and I doubt anybody at Netherfield will even know we are gone before noon—which will give us an enormous advantage. Ordinarily, I would agree with Lizzy’s desire to walk, but I am not feeling up to a three-mile walk at two in the morning. ”

Lizzy nodded. “Yes, Jane, stealth is part of my plan. We need to begin our retaliation early. Beyond the defensive nature of leaving this house of ill repute, I have an offensive strategy in mind. For that, we need our parents’ advice and aid.”

Mr Darcy looked dubious about the idea of using either of our parents for advice, but I knew better. There was no time to argue the matter, though, so I decided to move to another topic. “We have a few minutes. Tell me your plan.”

She looked intently at Mr Darcy. “May I presume you are happy to have any potential engagement between you and Miss Bingley stopped, or at least deferred?”

He spoke gravely. “Happier than you can imagine, but I worry about the effect on your family. What you did was exceedingly brave, and more than a little bit dangerous to your own reputations.”

Elizabeth sighed. “True! I am certain it came as quite a shock, since the two of us have never gotten along at all, but that is because you do not really know me. I could never let such a crime occur right under my nose if I could prevent it with minimal risk. I am happy you trusted me.”

Mr Darcy looked poleaxed by that assertion and spoke in some shock. “Do not get along? I fail to comprehend.”

Elizabeth sighed. I could tell she regretted stating the obvious, particularly when Mr Darcy seemed as oblivious as usual for his sex.

I wondered if my sister had bitten off more than she could chew, but she continued resolutely, looking embarrassed but determined as she explained.

“I do not mean to be critical but—well, sir—you would be better off kicking a puppy than publicly calling a lady not handsome enough to even tempt you to dance!”

She gave him a minute for his memory to recall the event and continued.

“I have never liked you, sir. Hardly anybody here does except Jane and Sir William, and they liked everybody until a half-hour ago. I was being polite all this time for Jane’s sake!”

I do not know if it is possible to blush all the way to the tips of your hair, but if it were, Mr Darcy would have done so.

I have seen very naughty boys, recently thrashed within an inch of their lives by their fathers, who looked half as contrite.

I thought if he had a belt handy and could work out the mechanics, he would flog himself right then and there.

Mr Darcy bowed quite deeply and whispered. “I must humbly apologise for that remark, Miss Elizabeth. It was unkind, untrue, and very ungentlemanly. I will not make excuses for my stupidity. I simply ask for forgiveness and hope to earn it in time. I am exceedingly sorry—sorrier than I can express.”

Lizzy nodded and said exactly what I expected. “It is the past, Mr Darcy. You are forgiven. I would not have brought it up at all if it were not germane to the explanation.”

He sighed deeply and sadly.

“Thank you. I will do my best to make it up to you. By the bye, I am now doubly, nay, triply, surprised you stood up as the sacrificial lamb. What could possibly cause you to volunteer to marry a man you dislike, regardless of how unjust the situation? I never got the impression you were just looking for a rich husband—or if so, your strategies are beyond me.”

Elizabeth laughed in a way that was good to hear.

“No, sir! Jane and I swore to only marry for love, which admittedly seems a lost cause for Hertfordshire men in general, and you in particular. My beauty you had early withstood, and as for my manners—my behaviour to you was at least always bordering on the uncivil, and I never spoke to you without rather wishing to give you pain than not. No sir… I can assure you that I did not suddenly decide that you would make a marginally acceptable husband.”

He looked perplexed, the same as I felt.