Page 70 of The Gods Veiling (The Valorian Veil #1)

The war within myself becomes even harder to fight when Seismet nuzzles against my arm that’s still pointing the sword.

“You’ve had enough of the Abandon for one night, Thayla. Allow me to escort you back.”

He continues to rub my arm until it trembles and I slowly lower it.

“Whatever that was, whatever you just did, just sealed it for me, Mellcom. I will never forgive you. Get out of my sight.”

He shakes his head in denial as though that will change my mind. Too bad it isn’t only my mind that’s made up.

My heart has hardened.

Jeremiah clings to him, no matter how many times he elbows him off. When the rest of his Valtrue latches onto him and pulls him back a couple of steps more, his bellows of my name and begging for forgiveness cause the stone I just placed around my heart to crack.

No, don’t give in.

I turn my back to him and nod at Seismet.

There’s so much to be said in the eyes of my Valtrue. I’m not sure what to say or do, but I need a moment away from them. From everything .

This reality is too much to bear right now.

“Thayla, allow us to—”

“Not right now, Amick. I’ll meet you at the house.”

He, Kyzen, and even Riven bow their heads in a mixture of defeat and something along the lines of acceptance. Creed’s waiting at Seismet’s side with a scowl of disapproval.

We stare at one another for a tense moment. I don’t know what passes between us. I believe they’re thinking the worst. I know I am, but my mind isn’t my own right now. I can’t have a meaningful conversation with any of them at the moment.

He looks down at the sword I’m still white-knuckling and holds his hand out. I don’t hesitate to hand it over. I hopefully will never have to use that thing again. Although my heart knows that’s not the truth.

He sheathes it expertly without ever taking his eyes off mine, then he laces his fingers together as he crouches slightly in front of me.

“Let’s fly and clear your mind.”

Now understanding what it is Creed is doing, I lay my foot in his hand. He lifts me like it’s nothing and holds on to my calf as I get myself situated on Seismet’s back.

None of us speak as the four of them back away to give Seismet some room. Water continues to build in my eyes as his wings begin to stretch and flap, but I refuse to let them fall just yet.

As gently as I can, I wrap my trembling fingers into his braids as his hooves leave the ground and we hover in the air.

Still, I watch my Valtrue as we rise higher and higher.

The last thing I see as Seismet turns us is Riven’s fist connecting to Mellcom’s jaw.

“You’re awfully quiet. Even your thoughts are silent.”

My tears stream down my cheeks as I stare unblinking into the stars surrounding us.

“I’m trying to cherish the moment. I don’t believe many can say they’ve ridden on the back of a Veilatara. ”

My mental voice doesn’t sound like me. It’s distant and cold.

I can’t shake the dread that’s sunk into my blood from what I just experienced.

I don’t know if it was that Taunter, the battle itself, thoughts of the guys, or the final nail in Mellcom’s and my relationship.

The deep sadness that’s settled its way into my heart won’t release me, though.

“That’s true. Not many of this generation can say they’ve experienced this, but you aren’t truly cherishing. You’re barely present.”

I swallow roughly as tears coat my lips and shame bleeds through me. “I can’t help it.”

“You had to face many truths tonight and your fears were brought into an unexpected light. Your reaction is normal, Thayla.”

“How do you know that? How are you even here right now?”

“How I know what you experienced is because I feel it. Your fear and grief are tangible. Something triggered it in the Abandon and it’s clinging to you.

How it’s possible I am here is because Riven told Verlet where you all were going.

Verlet called to young Havar and told him to come free me so I could join you.

The process of that took longer than the battle.

I’m sorry I wasn’t by your side sooner.”

My eyes finally blink as I startle at his words. “Why would you be sorry? Why would you come with me?”

“Have you not figured it out yet, Thayla Godrun?”

A frustrated sob wrecks my chest. “No. I feel like I have a million things to figure out. It’s making each thing impossible.”

“I won’t make this impossible then. You’re my Godly Companion. Just as Verlet is your Valtrue’s. Verlet is my older brother. It’s normal for familial Veilatara to connect with other connected beings.”

“W-what?”

“Is that a rhetorical what or do you truly not understand?”

A watery laugh escapes me. How is this my life?

“I understand what a Godly Companion means. It’s a privilege and friendship beyond anyone’s wildest dreams. We’re inseparable.

Or at least we’re supposed to be. I’ve read about the connections snapping into place, but I never felt something that strongly.

So I don’t understand how this is true. Or how the guys are companions to Verlet.

Or anything else surrounding the five of us.

There’s too much going on, Seismet. I can’t handle much more. ”

“You can handle far more than you believe, and you will.”

“Can you please enlighten me more than that? ”

“Guiding you won’t be my responsibility, but another being’s. You’ll realize soon enough that many of us who play a role in your life will do very different things for you. My responsibility is to be your companion. Be here for you no matter what.”

“No matter what? So when I act batshit crazy and emotional and hold a deadly weapon to my pseudo brother’s heart that could’ve killed him with one wrong move, you’ll just be here for me, on my side?”

“Precisely. His life doesn’t matter to me.

Yours does, though. How it would’ve affected you in the aftermath was my only concern.

You’ve felt slivers of our connection. It isn’t my power that pulls us toward one another.

We’ll never get the full connection until this creation is permanently removed from my body. ”

My eyes drift to the contraption around his neck. When he returns to the meadows, it’ll be moved back to his glorious wings. That thought makes an inferno blaze to life inside of me.

Just another fucked-up example of how almost everything about Godsden is wrong.

“Tell me how to remove it and I will. You’ll never be trapped again.”

“Patience. Only time will remove it.”

Time…

Just the mention of it and my mind immediately goes to Kyzen. Gods, he can manipulate time. I don’t even know what god that domain is under. Well, obviously the God of Time, but I don’t have the first idea of who that is.

“There’re too many beings in my life, Seismet. It’s starting to get very, very difficult keeping up with it all.”

His deep laugh vibrates through me. “And there’s more to come. Don’t fret. I believe between Yemi and me, we’ll keep you straight.”

A small chuckle escapes me, and I finally muster up the strength to wipe the tears from my eyes.

“I’m so glad Creed had the mind to say she couldn’t come.

Gods, in my ignorance, I would’ve wanted to bring her so I wouldn’t be alone.

That would’ve been awful.” I sigh and stare out across the vast, starry sky. “That was awful, Seismet.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

Yes. No. Maybe.

My fingers mindlessly rub up and down the back of his neck as I search for some stability. A thousand things race across my mind the moment I even allow myself a second to think about everything that happened.

So I settle on something completely different .

I choke on air when suddenly I’m being whipped in the face with storm-force winds. My eyes can’t stay open against the powerful gust, and I nearly go tumbling off Seismet when I lift my arm to shield my face.

Just as fast as whatever the hell that was started, it stops.

“That’s your answer to your pointless, off the topic thoughts. My power is blocking the wind for you. I can shield you or not. If you continue to ignore everything in your mind, I’ll drop it again.”

I sputter and cough as I try to catch my breath. My nose scrunches in a sneer as I glare at the back of the infuriating Veilatara’s head.

“First off, that was dangerous. I nearly tumbled off you. Second, stop invading my thoughts and allow me not to think about the shit show that is my life. You can’t force me to talk about anything before I’m ready.”

“I can and I will. I’m one of the only beings you’ll always have in your corner that won’t judge you no matter what comes out of your mouth or across your mind.

Tease you, yes. Judge, never. If you don’t open up to me, you’ll open up to no one and this new life of yours will be so much harder than it needs to be. ”

I close my eyes and tilt my head back. A subtle shift in energy has a small, fresh breeze of night air flowing around me. I take huge breaths until the panic in my chest lessens.

“It’s not that I don’t want to talk about it with you.

I just want the guys’ truth from them. I want to talk to them about everything, but I’m scared.

The Abandon rattled me to my core and I’m more petrified about why I’m here now more than ever.

I don’t want to tell them there’s a purpose to me being here.

I don’t want them to shun me because there’s a god toying with my life, which in turn toys with theirs.

“I don’t want either of our truths to break what little relationships we’ve formed. They’re probably thinking the absolute worst of me right now because I hopped on your back and ran for the stars without talking to them. I could barely form a lucid thought outside of my own fear and hurt.”

“Are you thinking the worst of them right now?”

“What? No, why would I be? I mean, I’m pissed they gave me no warning about the Abandon, but I can imagine if what I experienced tonight is anything remotely close to what they lived, then I can understand why they wouldn’t talk about it.”