Page 61 of The Gods Veiling (The Valorian Veil #1)

Unlike in the healing villas when I felt the connection to Kyzen, and I tried to snatch the shit out of it, this time, I only sense what’s inside of me. I can’t find the link to Creed.

I coax my small sliver gently and think of one of the other pieces sitting there snugly in Creed’s chest. It’s got to be there, so I focus hard on the two pieces connecting. When my chest jerks a bit more, I sweetly encourage it to come to me as though I’m trying to save an injured animal.

It responds.

Unfortunately, so does Creed.

Before I can blink, my back is pinned against the wall and he slams his hands against the stone. His dark gray eyes have shifted to a deadly white. Like the depths of the Veilataras’, there’s no end to his.

“Do not do that again, Thayla.”

I gulp and tilt my chin. “What exactly is it I did?”

“You know good—”

“Explain it.” My voice booms around us as I demand a straight answer.

He’s breathing so hard, every exhale drifts across my forehead. The muscles in his arms tremble, but I don’t think it’s from anger. It’s restraint.

“Don’t call your soul to you again. Not the piece you sense in me and especially not the pieces inside of my brothers. You’re not just beckoning a piece of yourself, but you’re pulling on the parts of us that it’s connected to now. You use this as a weapon against them, and I will end you.”

His cruel tone hits the mark. Any restraint I was trying to have dissipates. My body flames and I raise my knee with all the intention of rearranging his balls inside of his stomach .

An umph falls from my mouth when he catches my leg and spins me around until my chest presses into the wall. He traps my arms behind my back and squashes them between us.

“Don’t do that again either.”

“Stop telling me what to do, asshole. So you’ve known? This whole damn time and you haven’t said the first thing to me.”

“There’s nothing to say. Derivius split your soul. It’s now invading ours.”

“Nothing to say? This is a big fucking nothing, Creed. Do they know too? You’ve all known and haven’t explained anything to me. This whole time I’ve been afraid one of you was going to use it against me.”

His heavy pause is louder than the clipped sentences he’s been giving me.

“They don’t know. You haven’t told them,” I conclude.

He releases me and instantly takes a hearty step away like I’m about to spin around and pounce on his ass. I have half a mind to, but my desire for his explanation wins out.

“No, they don’t know.”

“Why are you keeping it from them?”

“Why are you?”

“I literally just told you. After the Veiling, I sensed my soul in Kyzen and tried to snatch it back to me. It felt like I was going to die. I had no intentions of any of you knowing in case you could do that to me.”

He examines me slowly and I force my body not to squirm. “We could. They could if they knew, but they wouldn’t do that.”

“But you would?”

His stillness causes me to shift my feet into a better position. Now I’m the one preparing for him to pounce on me.

“Not intentionally, no. I haven’t told them because I plan to get it out of them before it becomes too attached.”

“Could you not talk about my soul like it’s a fucking parasite?”

He throws his hands up and takes a step into my space.

I want to step back, but I refuse to. “That’s exactly what it is.

It’s surviving by clinging to ours. I’m trying my fucking hardest to figure out how to separate it and return it to you whole before it embeds itself so deep there’s no unweaving it. ”

My breath rushes out of me and naturally, I rub my chest. “You…want to make it whole again?”

“Yes,” he growls. “I have no clue who or what any of us will become if I don’t. So could you just quit fucking pushing me and let me figure this out? Don’t tell my brothers, don’t get any closer to them than you have to, and don’t tug on it again.”

My blood heats from his shitty tone and order. “I want to know why you don’t want them to know. This feels like we’re crossing into taking their choices away from them territory and I don’t like it.”

“It’s your soul, not theirs. That’s where the choice ends.”

It’s my turn to throw my hands up and step closer to him. “But you think it’s your choice to make it whole again? You can’t stand me that much, you believe you just get to make this decision. Just another god who gets to tamper with my soul without my permission.”

How many times can a person survive having their soul rearranged?

He doesn’t shout. He doesn’t scream at me. Even worse, he leans so low our breaths mingle and all I smell is him. The remnants of the loaf of bread he baked this morning still cling to him. It’s such a confusing concoction. He smells delicious, but the look on his face could poison my blood.

I can’t control the rapid rise and fall of my chest as his whisper fans across my lips.

“Yes, Thayla. Yes, I do, because I know what a fucking soul needs and what a god needs to survive. You need to be whole so you can fucking live. That’s why I stay away from you.

So your soul doesn’t grow attached to mine.

There’s your god’s honest truth I was trying to protect you from.

I didn’t want you walking around in fear that you’re just going to drop dead, but you’re going to die if you aren’t made whole.

Derivius thought our souls could take care of and nurture yours, but I don’t believe we can. ”

That reality slaps me stunned. My whole body freezes and I can’t even get my eyes to blink. He takes a few large steps away from me, shakes his head, and stomps toward the opening of the Court.

I don’t follow. I can’t. Air refuses to fill my lungs.

“Der-Derivius. Tell me what he just said isn’t true. Tell me you didn’t put my soul in them, knowing I could die.”

Silence greets me.

“Answer me, damn it, or this really will be the last fucking time you ever hear from me.”

“Creed and I have very differing opinions on this, little troublling. I have all the faith in the realm that you and your soul will survive. Thrive even. He has his own fears that cloud him from seeing it. Don’t let his fears influence your own.

I, and many others, would’ve never agreed to this if we thought you’d die. I swear that on the Valories.”

My hands grip my knees as I force my lungs to cooperate. My mind whirls over both of their words. It’s a dizzying flood of emotions that I can’t seem to get under control. I don’t know which god to believe, nor do I know what to do from here.

Anger burns through every fiber of my being that a decision of this magnitude was made for me.

Him, probably the Valories, my…my fucking parents.

How dare they?

I take staggering steps back down the hallway and out of the Court. My head tilts toward the sun as I calm the turmoil racing inside of me.

“What’s the matter, angel? Do I need to go in there and wipe the floor with ol’ Daddy Gladdy’s ass?”

I whip around and find Riven leaning against the wall with his foot propped up. He’s smiling deviously and my heart drops to my stomach.

“How long have you been standing there?”

“I was walking up, and you stormed right on by me like you didn’t even see me. I waited right here in case something interesting was about to happen. I’m a little disappointed, actually.”

I run my hand down my face and blow out a breath. “So sorry to disappoint you, Riven.”

“Oh, that’s quite all right. Not all of us can be perfect.

It’s an art really.” He uncrosses his arms and pushes off the wall.

Every calculated stride toward me has my heart hammering.

The way he traces over every inch of me makes my chest tighten and I refrain from literally screaming.

“You seem to need a distraction. Want to ignore our roles and go fuck off in Godsden?”

An infuriating and hypnotizing sense of victory shines in his eyes and across his dazzling smirk. It’s like he knows I’m nervous to be alone with him, therefore he believes I’ll immediately say no to him.

“Thayla, there you are.”

I startle out of my staring and turn toward Kyzen and Yemi, who speed walk over.

“Were you looking for me?”

“Well, we just ran into a vicious Creed and you weren’t with him…so yeah, we came looking.” Kyzen arches his brows in question.

I clear my throat and give him a small grin. “Had a little disagreement. No punches were thrown, so it wasn’t too serious.”

“That’s always a good thing.” He laughs and guilt creeps through me. “Well, since your tour was over before it started, we can head to the Gods Sanctum or Athenaeum. Whichever you’d prefer.”

“Actually…” I glance at Riven, then back at Kyzen. “Riven’s offered to take me around today. I’m going to go with him.”

“Really?” all of them ask.

“Yeah, really. Just the two of us.”

Yemi’s eyes widen comically, while Kyzen seems nervous.

“Riven—”

“Nope, no warnings, brother. The little bur—Thayla will be safe with me. We’ll see you lot later.”

He bows dramatically, holding his hand out for me to lead the way. With one more tight smile aimed at Yemi and Kyzen, I do just that.

I want a distraction.