Page 30 of The Gods Veiling (The Valorian Veil #1)

“Yeah…fucking same,” I grunt and try to rein in the venom in my tone. “You don’t have to protect yourself from me. I never wanted to come here.”

“Then why in the realm did you enter the Veiling?”

I snort at the accusation in her voice and let out a sober laugh. I examine the curiosity in her unblinking, unemotional stare. I’m pretty sure part of her is just trying to find out as much as she can so she can protect herself like she said. The other half may really be interested .

At this point, I don’t care. I need to tell someone the truth before it makes me explode.

“I didn’t. Mellcom and Jeremiah, you know the two from Oddian that I kept snapping at?”

She nods, and I carry on.

The truth of this morning falls out of me in a rush of words. I don’t take a single breath until it’s out there in the open. I include the part of me beating Mellcom’s ass in the living room and that brings me a small sense of justice.

I’m pleased to witness the shift in her face. The shock comes first, followed by the guilt.

Her mouth opens and closes repeatedly before she covers it with her hand. It’s the first genuine reaction she’s had directed toward me.

“No need to get upset on my behalf. I’m here now. There’s not much I can do about it.”

“Gods, you make a lot more sense now.”

“If you’re referring to my cussing, loudmouth, and tendency to threaten the two of them, I’m always like that. It’s just a little more than normal today.”

Her hand falls into her lap limply and tangles with her other one. “I’m sorry this has happened to you. I know a thing or two about being somewhere you don’t want to be.”

“You really don’t have to apologize, but I appreciate it. I’m sorry your stay isn’t what you thought it’d be. I’m sure you were the opposite and had high hopes coming here.”

She fiddles with her thumb cuticles before lifting her head. “I did. It’s been nothing but a nightmare.”

I arch a knowing brow. “Your Designation, I assume?”

“Yeah. You seemed to have picked up on that quickly in the tests.”

“I know a thing or two about being treated like shit.”

She looks away from me as we both drift into an awkward silence. It adds to the overwhelming homesickness and loneliness coursing through me.

Even though I’d feel the exact same there.

At least there I was comfortable in my bedroom or Lambrit’s, and I could escape to my hot spring.

If I could know what I know now, gods, I’d go back a year and a day.

Unfortunately…there’s no turning back time on this.

Even if I could, it may not have changed this outcome at all .

“I obviously didn’t know what choosing you would truly mean.

If the High Chancellor’s stupid ass had explained what having an Attendant meant better, I’d have never accepted.

I accepted you thinking I was getting you out of a shit situation and giving you a better one.

I could look at you and tell you were miserable, so I told myself we could help each other out.

If there’s a way to…unchoose…if that’s even the word, I will. ”

She gives me a tense frown. “What’s done is done. The Volreen, more precisely, the Gods Binding, has tied our essence. It’s not like you and your Valtrue, but there’s no splitting us now. I’ll be at your mercy for eternity.”

I flex my fist repeatedly to simmer the rage trying to spew out of me.

“My mercy…I get I’ve come off a little strong, but given the situation, hopefully you can see I’m not just some raging bitch looking to pick a pointless fight.

I have no intention of bossing you around or you coming to my beck and call.

Or whatever it is Attendants really do. Firstly, it’s fucked up, and secondly, I’m a grown woman.

I can figure it all out for myself. You can literally do whatever you want. ”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

I glare at her. She most certainly did.

“Okay, not completely like that. When the High Chancellor explains everything the way he does, it paints my Designation in the light of the lowest of gods. We get the least amount of our power released, so we’re immediately viewed as less than and treated as such.

“Most Chosen who accept their Attendants treat them as personal slaves as you called it. Those who aren’t accepted or just haven’t been offered up yet, get bossed and bullied around by everyone.

Hell, they’ll still do it even after you’ve been accepted.

So, given my situation , hopefully you can see where my apprehension and edginess are coming from. ”

I press my lips together and face back toward the trees.

My head shakes as I blow out a breath and pick the grass at my feet.

“Yeah, I do. I completely understand, believe it or not. But unfortunately, just like everything else today, I don’t know what the fuck to do about it or where to go from here. ”

We fall back into a tension-filled hush. My lingering thoughts about how not only was my life flipped upside down today, but in turn, I did it to someone else, is eating me alive.

It’s hard to really be mad at her attitude. We’re both having the same kind of shitty day. Our reactions are the only difference. She’s colder and quieter. I’m louder and aggressive .

“This really fucking sucks.”

A snort that surprises both of us tumbles out of her. She even startles like the sound is foreign to her ears. “You can say that again.”

“You’ll probably hear it enough that my repetitiveness will start grating on your nerves.” I chuckle, tossing the handful of grass I was collecting in my palm. “So what now?”

Her eyes drift into the distance. “My transition into this new role started the second you accepted me. From here on out, I’ll be accompanying you almost all day for whatever you need. I’m supposed to take care of anything that’ll make your life easier.”

My nostrils turn up at that. “Ew. I really don’t like that. No offense, it’s not that I don’t enjoy your lively company. I don’t like the idea of you doing everything for me because it’s easier. Unless you’ve got a way to get me off this mountain. That’ll make my life easier.”

A small smile crosses her lips. “You really don’t know the rules.”

“Rules?”

“Yeah, like earlier when you didn’t want me to carry your bag for you. That’s a responsibility that falls to me. That makes your life easier.”

“I’m sorry, my mind is malfunctioning. Are you saying there are actually rules that say you have to do shit for me?”

“There’s a whole book.”

My jaw falls open and I scowl at her smirk. “You’re serious? There’re rules I have to follow when it comes to me telling you what to do? What if I don’t want to treat you like that?”

“When we’re alone like this, you can treat me however you please. When we’re around all the other gods, it’s best you just follow the rules as much as possible. I don’t want to get punished for not doing what I’m supposed to.”

Punished…

“Surely since you’re quote, my Attendant , I have a say in how others treat you? They can’t punish you. You’re a grown woman and a god just like them.”

Her tight smile makes my stomach swirl with both hatred and unease.

“As long as you’re around me, you have a say.

You can also make it known to the others what you say about me goes.

But if I’m being honest, I’ve never seen an Attending God, which you now are, ever stand up for their Attendant.

There’s no telling what kind of light that would put you in, in the eyes of the others.

It’s best we both stick to the Attendants’ rules and those of the Godsdawn. ”

Yeah, fuck all that .

I’ve been bullied enough in the past year. I’ll be damned before I stand around and watch it happen.

“I swear, Yemi, I won’t be like that toward you.

I definitely can catch an attitude at times, and I have a foul mouth when I’m angry, really all the time, but I’ll never treat you like you’re less than I am.

I’m not too happy with the gods right now, so me swearing to them won’t mean much, but I do promise that. ”

She smiles, the realest one I’ve seen so far, and I return it although I hate everything she just said. “I appreciate that. It’ll be easier for me knowing you’re not bossing me around because you think you’re superior. We still need to abide by most of the rules, though.”

Yeah, okay.

I chuckle as I push off the ground and wipe my hands off on my pants.

“I definitely don’t think I’m superior. Far from it honestly, but I guess I’ll study up on these rules .

” I offer her my hand as a small…I don’t know, truce, understanding.

I’m just trying to be nice. “Sorry you caught my meltdown. It’s been in the works all day.

I feel better now, though, so that’s a plus. ”

“No need to apologize. I mean, you freaked me out at first, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense. I’m sorry for the way I judged you and acted.

I was just preparing myself for you to be like all the others.

I didn’t want to let myself think you were all that different.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned the hard way, you can’t have blind faith in anyone in the Godsdawn. ”

I cut my eyes over to her. “So no one’s out here making best friends for life jewelry?”

“Not even those with matching marks.” She glances down at my wrist, then back up to me. “I’m only close with Havar, Rose, and a few of the other Attendants. I don’t talk to any of the other gods at all unless absolutely necessary.”

“From the impressions I’ve gotten so far, I get that.”

“Some are more obvious about their self-serving motives. Some not so much. In your case…” She pauses and shakes her head. “I don’t know if you got paired with the most selfish or selfless of the bunch.”

My chest pangs and I groan. “Don’t remind me of them.”

“Already met their wrath?”

“I wouldn’t call it wrath. Overheard their disdain for our situation. Hence why I went for a run.”