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CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

SEVEN YEARS EARLIER

L aurie entered the clinically white building with Anika’s hand clutched tightly in hers. This was their secret. It’s not like she would be punished. Some girls at school had said that God punished women if they had abortions, but Laurie didn’t believe in God. If there were a god, he wouldn’t have taken her mum away, not when she’d needed her the most.

Some days she felt numb with shock; others, she was so emotional she couldn’t stop crying. How could he have done this to her? She often wondered if her grief was for her mum, her unborn child, or maybe both.

How could she kill a child, but how could she keep it? While she was killing her baby, other mothers were shopping, buying cots and baby clothes. If only she could ask her mum what to do. Mum would have known, wouldn’t she?

Anika guided her to a chair in the warm waiting room. It was quiet and peaceful. It was hard for Laurie to imagine babies being killed here every day. She shuddered.

Anika gripped her hand tightly. ‘You okay, Laurie?’

Laurie nodded.

A nurse came out of one of the treatment rooms. She doesn’t look like a murderer , thought Laurie. The woman’s face was gentle, her eyes soft and caring. ‘Laurie McDuff,’ she said gently.

Laurie stood up and her legs turned rubbery. Anika supported her, and they followed the nurse into the treatment room.

‘Everything is going to be fine,’ the nurse said reassuringly.

Why did Laurie not believe her?