Page 26 of The Forever Cowboy (Noble Ranch #1)
“We’ll get married on paper.” He spoke calmly and quietly. “But nothing will change between us. We’ll pretend for the community and everyone to keep Claude away. Once this is all over, you’re free to go. I won’t hold you here.”
Her runaway pulse began to slow to a normal pace, and she inhaled a full breath.
She could handle this situation differently than she had before.
Because this time was different. He wasn’t asking her to marry him out of love.
He was doing it because he was a kind man and wanted to help her out of a dangerous situation.
She breathed out again and let the tension ease from her shoulders.
As she did so, she felt a small stab of disappointment.
At herself for her reaction. She obviously still had work to do in overcoming her fears.
However, in this moment, she couldn’t let those fears stop her from considering Sterling’s idea.
He was watching her, his eyes filled with uncertainty. Did he think she was rejecting him again? She had to reassure him that she cared about him, that her hesitancy had more to do with her than him . Should she just admit she loved him? Would that help? Or would it only make things worse?
Hadn’t he indicated that he didn’t want to stay married to her, that the arrangement would only be temporary? She hadn’t misunderstood him, had she?
“How long would we stay together?” The question wasn’t exactly what she wanted to ask, but she wasn’t sure how to push deeper and find out how he really felt about it.
He hesitated. “Only as long as necessary to make sure you’re safe.”
So he really didn’t want anything permanent. “So the marriage would be just for show?”
“We would need a ceremony, probably tomorrow morning, to prove that we’re married. After that, we won’t need to do anything different than what we are now.”
Was that what he wanted? To keep her at arm’s length?
She tried to study his face in the dim lighting. His eyes were half-lidded and guarded, as though he didn’t want her to see into his heart. Why? Because she would see his doubts?
Maybe she just needed to accept that he would never want to be with her again. He’d made that clear enough over the past few days, and especially this afternoon, when he’d told her he didn’t want to kiss her again.
All he was doing was helping her, not only with the offer of the maid job but now with the plan to marry her. She had to stop reading more into what he was doing.
Did she want it all to mean more to him? Did she want him to want her?
She shook her head. That wasn’t fair to him.
“Don’t say no tonight.” He held out a hand as if to stop her protest, then took a step toward the back door. “Think about it, and we can talk again in the morning.”
He’d mistaken her shaking her head as her opposition to his second proposal? Not that it had been anything like his first proposal. Maybe it couldn’t even be considered a proposal. Whatever the case, she couldn’t deny his request to at least think about it.
“Okay, I’ll think about it.”
He released an audible breath.
Was he relieved? Had he hoped she would want to go through with this? What did he have to gain except for a lot of hassle?
He backed up another step. “I’ll come for your answer at dawn.”
She could only watch as he swiped up his hat, placed it on his head, and then finished crossing to the door. Once the door closed behind him, she grabbed hold of the nearest chair and lowered herself. Her legs and hands were both shaking.
Marry Sterling Noble?
Could she do it this time?
She buried her face in her hands, and the tears came before she could stop them. She wasn’t exactly sure why the emotion was so strong or what she was feeling. Maybe surprise. Maybe frustration. Maybe even some fear. All she knew was that her chest was swelling with an overwhelming need to cry.
Gentle hands squeezed her shoulders. Hyacinth’s hands.
Had her sister been standing outside the kitchen and listening to the conversation with Sterling? A part of Violet wanted to be upset at Hyacinth’s eavesdropping. But another part of her knew she would have had to explain everything to Hyacinth eventually anyway.
Hyacinth gently brushed Violet’s loose hair.
Violet blinked back her tears and tried to swallow the swell of emotion. Then she lifted her head and peered up into Hyacinth’s green eyes, so much like her own. “What should I do, Hyacinth?”
Hyacinth continued to caress her hair. “You can only do one thing.”
“What?”
“You have to marry him.”
“Why?” But even as the question slipped out, Violet already knew the answer.
“Because you love him.”
Violet nodded. Was it really that simple?
“And because you need to do it to finally overcome your fears.”
More tears slid down Violet’s cheeks. “But he doesn’t want it to be real, and he wants it to only be temporary.”
Hyacinth shook her head, her long loose hair swaying. “Maybe he was thinking of the last time and trying not to pressure you into something real and permanent if that’s not what you want.”
Was that part of it? Violet sniffed back her tears.
“Or maybe he’s trying to keep himself from getting hurt again.”
“I don’t want to hurt him this time.”
“Then you’ll have to show him that.”
“How?” Violet wiped the dampness from her cheeks. “And don’t tell me I need to kiss him again.”
Hyacinth smirked. “That probably would help. But no, I think the best thing you can do is show him that you’ve changed, the same way he’s trying to show you that he’s changed.”
“But what can I do to show him?”
“Prove to him that you’re done running away from love.”
Violet wasn’t sure how to do that. But she knew her sister was right. She had to show Sterling she was no longer afraid of love.
But was that true? When the time came tomorrow morning to stand before the reverend and say I do , would she be able to do it? Even now, when she knew she loved Sterling?