Page 13 of The Forever Cowboy (Noble Ranch #1)

Why did she have to be so beautiful?

Sterling’s chest ached as he watched Violet sleep. He knew he shouldn’t be staring at her so openly and taking in every detail of her delicate features. But no one would have to know, since Hyacinth was still asleep and Violet was clearly tired too.

He’d checked the swelling in her ankle the last time he’d gotten up to add more wood to the stove, and it had been doing better. He’d been keeping an icy pack of snow on it off and on, and that had helped too.

With her body reclined and her head against the back of the chair, she’d managed to stay upright, although he’d repositioned her a time or two. He’d considered shifting his bench even closer so that she could lean against him if she wanted to. But that would be too much, wouldn’t it?

Already, his following Violet out to Devil’s Glen and the cabin bordered on crazy. Beckett had been sure to say so when Sterling had told his foreman of his plan to ski out to the cabin and see if the women were there.

He’d had to admit to Beckett the truth about the night before, how Violet and Hyacinth’s father had betrayed them, how the women had stayed in the house, and then how they’d taken the food and the skis.

Of course, Beckett had been there for the wedding disaster back in April.

The ranch foreman had witnessed firsthand all the pain and heartache Sterling had experienced on his wedding day and in the weeks afterward.

So it only made sense that Beckett was leery about Violet now and didn’t want Sterling to get involved in the situation.

But with the snowstorm, Sterling hadn’t dared head out into the wilderness without informing his foreman where he was going. Because the truth was, he might not make it back to the ranch for a few days or maybe even longer.

He hadn’t wanted to miss out on the vaccination of the cattle.

He could very well return home to find the whole herd wiped out after Thatcher’s administration of the vaccine.

But they’d decided it was their only hope at this point, that if they didn’t do something, they would lose all the cattle anyway.

Sterling just hoped he hadn’t made a deadly mistake.

He tore his gaze from Violet and focused on the flames that were dancing inside the stove. During the trip up into Devil’s Glen, he’d almost turned back a dozen times. She wasn’t his responsibility anymore. He didn’t love her or care about her or have an interest in what became of her.

Even though he’d berated himself during the difficult hike as he’d waded through the fresh snow and battled the wind, he’d kept going.

Now he was relieved he had. When he’d walked in on the women to discover they hadn’t been able to start a fire, he’d almost cursed aloud. They might have made it through one night without heat, but they would have frozen to death eventually.

He blew out a breath.

“You should sleep too, Sterling.” Violet’s groggy whisper startled him.

He didn’t move, though, from where he was leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “How does your ankle feel?”

“It still hurts, but it’s not quite as painful.”

He nodded. Another sign that it wasn’t broken and was only a sprain.

Silence settled back over the cabin, bringing with it the soft crackle of the wood burning in the stove. The wind had finally stopped its incessant noises, and a peaceful quiet had descended all around the cabin.

It was a beautiful place, but it was unforgivingly brutal too. Especially for two inexperienced women like Violet and Hyacinth.

“Thank you for coming out here to help us,” she said, as if reading his thoughts.

“I did what anyone else would have.”

“You’re not like everyone else.” Her voice was not much more than a whisper.

What did she mean by that? It sounded like a compliment, like she even appreciated him.

Irritation swelled just as swiftly as always when it came to his confusing feelings for her.

“Let’s be clear on one thing, Violet.” He sat up and glared at her.

“I didn’t come out here because I still have feelings for you.

I did it because I knew you two would die, and I didn’t want to have a guilty conscience for the rest of my life. ”

Her eyes widened, making the lush green brighter and turning it into a place where he could lose himself. Except that he wasn’t going to lose himself in her eyes ever again.

“I didn’t expect you to have feelings for me still—”

“Then why did you come to me?” His question came out harsh, and the moment it did, he lowered his head and blew out a breath. “I’m sorry. I’m trying not to be angry. But it’s hard.”

She was silent for several heartbeats. “I should have gone to Hazel instead of you. She would have taken me and Hyacinth in. When we get back, I’ll seek her out.”

Hazel was like him and wouldn’t turn away a person in need. “That would be for the best.”

Violet dropped her gaze to her hands in her lap. “Okay.”

He was being a donkey’s hind end again. It was time to put the past behind him, wasn’t it? He couldn’t expect to move forward if he didn’t stop being so angry with her all the time.

He swallowed his resentment and forced himself to speak calmly. “I went into town and talked to your father.”

“You did?”

“I told him he had to figure a way out of his problems without involving you.”

“And what did he say?” She seemed to be holding her breath.

“He said he would call off the deal, that it wasn’t fair to you and Hyacinth to pressure you to work at the dancehall.”

“Do you think he meant it?”

Sterling shrugged. “I hope so.”

“I hope so too.” Her voice didn’t sound very confident.

“How long has he been gambling?” He knew he was prying, but didn’t he deserve some answers?

“For a while.” Her answer was quiet and resigned.

“Since your family moved to Breckenridge or before that?”

She hesitated, then sighed. “I cannot remember a time in my life when he wasn’t gambling.”

The scope of her father’s problems was much bigger and more longstanding than Sterling had expected.

The same question he’d had earlier surfaced again.

With something that had impacted her life so much, why hadn’t she been honest about it?

He’d courted her for months and had been about to marry her, and she’d never once hinted at the problem.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” The question fell out before he could stop it.

“It was—is—mortifying.” Her face was pale except for her cheeks, which were splotchy with red—the sign she was embarrassed.

He shook his head. That wasn’t reason enough. He opened his mouth to say so.

She spoke again before he could. “You always told me how perfect I was, and I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

What? He clamped his lips together.

She drew the blankets higher, as if in doing so she could protect herself from his wrath.

He had told her she was perfect. Because at the time, he’d believed she was, had thought that was a compliment. Had his declaration put too much pressure on her, perhaps even made her feel like she had to live up to his expectations?

Once again, a strange feeling pulsed through him—the feeling he bore much more responsibility in their relationship’s demise than he’d realized.

“Besides, my mother always took care of the problems my father caused.” Violet was staring straight ahead. “Once Mother was gone, Father had no one to clean up his messes anymore.”

Mrs. Berkley had always seemed like a strong woman. “I’m sorry about your loss.”

Violet nodded, her eyes turning glassy. “We didn’t expect her to get so sick.”

“What happened?”

For a little while, she shared about the past months living in Williamsburg, the city where her mother had grown up.

As an only child whose father had owned a bank, Mrs. Berkley had inherited her parents’ fortune when they’d passed away shortly after she’d turned eighteen.

Not long after that, she’d married one of her father’s bank tellers.

Although Mrs. Berkley’s family had all been gone when she and her daughters had returned in the spring, she’d still had a few friends in Williamsburg and had been able to find a small apartment and some work taking in mending.

They’d been getting by well enough, hadn’t been suffering, even if they’d had to live more simply and frugally than they ever had before. They’d made it through the summer, and then Mrs. Berkley had fallen ill with the influenza in September. She’d only lasted a month before dying.

“She made me promise to take care of Hyacinth,” Violet whispered, her voice catching.

Sterling wanted to take Violet’s hand in his and offer her some comfort. But he kept his hands clasped in front of him.

“I thought coming back to Colorado and living with our father would be best for us.” She glanced over at her sister, who was curled up, the glow from the fire revealing a peaceful expression on her sleeping face. “But I only made things worse.”

“You didn’t know.”

“I knew my father was a liar and couldn’t be trusted.” Her voice turned bitter. “His promises have always been empty.”

“I didn’t realize he was that way…He appeared so distinguished and respectable and responsible.”

Violet released a soft but bitter laugh. “I didn’t realize he was that way either until I was eight years old, on the day he sold my beloved mare Dixie, my very first horse, the pride and joy of my life.”

Sterling’s gut cinched with a new coil of anger. He’d already been mad at Mr. Berkley, and this only made his dislike even greater.

“We were moving. Again,” Violet continued. “For about the hundredth time in my short life. When I begged Father not to sell Dixie, he said just as soon as we were settled into the new place, he’d send away for her.”

“He never did?”

“Mother was the one to later tell me that he’d sold her to a slaughterhouse.”

“Blast.” Sterling wanted to release a string of curses to relieve the growing pressure in his chest. Instead, he stood to his feet and cracked his knuckles.

“Eventually Father apologized and promised me another horse of my own. But I never wanted another horse ever again.”

Sterling wished he’d known all of this when he’d been courting Violet. Maybe it would have helped him understand her better, helped him be more sensitive to her needs. As it was, he could only stand rigidly, wishing he could pound his fist into Mr. Berkley’s stomach.

“It’s a good thing your father isn’t here right now.” He couldn’t keep the contempt from his voice. “I’d be tempted to do him some damage.”

Violet’s lips curved into a ghost of a smile. “Thank you, Sterling. That’s sweet of you.”

What he wouldn’t give to see one of her full smiles, one that made her pretty lips curl up high and brought a glow to her eyes.

When was the last time he’d seen her smile?

The truth was, she hadn’t smiled a whole lot during those final few months leading up to the wedding.

Maybe that should have alerted him that something wasn’t right, that she wasn’t happy.

But he’d been selfish, hadn’t he? He’d only been thinking about how happy being married to her would make him . He hadn’t stopped to think about how she was feeling about everything.

“My father isn’t all bad,” she continued. “Deep down he does care about me and Hyacinth. I think that’s what makes everything so much harder.”

“That doesn’t change my opinion of him.”

Her smile inched higher.

His breath hitched. She was so beautiful when she smiled. And she was already way too beautiful when she was serious.

The familiar hollow ache in his chest pulsed a slow rhythm but wasn’t as painful as it had been in the past when he’d thought about her and how much he’d loved her. Maybe this reunion—as hard as it had been so far—was a good thing and a way to bring about a resolution to all that had happened.

In talking with her and understanding her better, perhaps he’d be able to make peace with what had happened. He still might not like that she’d run away and rejected him, but he could accept that the situation had been more complex than he’d realized. And he needed to bear some of the blame too.

At the very least, he could bury the bitterness that had festered over the past months, couldn’t he? Especially because it looked like they were going to be stuck together for a few days.

“Enough about my family.” She waved a dismissive hand, as if that could somehow make her heartache and embarrassment go away. “Tell me about yours. Hazel is married and having a baby. What about everyone else?”

Her question was timid, as if she wasn’t exactly sure how he would respond.

He lowered himself back to his bench. He would talk to her civilly, but that didn’t mean he intended to be her friend again.

No, the talking was just a way to pass the time.

That’s all it would be. Then when they returned to the ranch, they would go their separate ways and would never have to see each other again.