Page 25 of The Forever Cowboy (Noble Ranch #1)

Violet couldn’t sleep.

She stirred the saucepan of warm milk on the stovetop, wishing she could find a way to stop the whirlwind twisting and turning through her mind—the whirlwind that had been there since she’d kissed Sterling earlier.

Oh, the kiss.

She released a blissful sigh, then touched her fingertips to her lips as if in doing so she could feel his kiss again. She closed her eyes and imagined the pressure and passion. Even though he’d run from her afterward, he’d kissed her back with a fervor that had wreaked havoc with her body.

He’d liked it. Maybe not as much as she had. But still, he couldn’t have pretended everything—the emotion, the tenderness, the desire.

She’d certainly felt it all. More so than ever before. Was that because this time she knew she loved him? Had it taken the time away from him, the distance and soul-searching, to realize she would never find another man like him?

She actually wasn’t sure if she would ever be the same again after that kiss. So maybe it was a good thing he’d said he wouldn’t kiss her again.

Opening her eyes, she stifled a disappointed sigh and stirred the milk again.

She hadn’t mentioned the kiss to her sister, but Hyacinth had taken one look at Violet’s face when she’d returned to the parlor with the pedestal table, and she’d known. She’d just smiled smugly with an I-told-you-so glint in her eyes.

At the soft tap against the back door, Violet startled. She pivoted to find Sterling entering. The low light from the lantern she’d set on the table didn’t quite reach to illuminate his face, but from the stiffness of his shoulders, she knew something was wrong.

She drew her coat closed over her long nightgown. Since she didn’t have a robe, she’d donned her coat before leaving the bedroom. Even so, she felt strangely bare, especially with her hair hanging free of the usual constraints.

“I was hoping to see you,” he whispered, removing his hat and setting it on the table.

“I couldn’t sleep…” She ducked her head, hoping he wouldn’t be able to read her thoughts and realize the reason for her sleeplessness—that she’d been thinking about him and their kiss nonstop.

In fact, her flighty thoughts had gone from replaying their kiss to imagining him in bed.

She’d never thought about him in bed before.

Maybe she’d had a few moments before her wedding day back in April when she’d felt a little nervous about her wedding night and the mysteries she would discover.

But something in the kiss earlier had awoken a need inside her.

Now she was embarrassingly curious about what it might be like to lie beside him and kiss him as much as she wanted all night long.

Hopefully the kitchen was shadowed enough that he wouldn’t be able to see the mortification rushing into her cheeks.

He twisted the brim of his cowboy hat in his large hands. Was he nervous about something?

What if he’d already changed his mind about having her and Hyacinth working in the house as maids? Maybe he hadn’t liked how much she’d started rearranging and changing the decorations.

He hadn’t said anything about the furniture except that he hadn’t wanted her to exert herself in moving it. Besides, he’d always appreciated her decorating efforts in the past, had always complimented her.

So why was he here? Had he finally come in for the night?

“Would you like some warm milk? It might help you sleep better. Not that you need help sleeping. I’m sure you sleep just fine in your bed.” She was rambling and starting to picture him in bed again.

She spun back to the stove, could feel the steam rising from the pan, adding to the warmth in her face. She reached for the ladle and began to scoop milk into the mug she’d readied.

“Sure, I’ll take a cup,” he offered quietly. “If you have enough.”

She would gladly give it all up for him if he needed it. But she couldn’t say that. “Of course. You can even take it with you up to your room.” She turned and held the mug out to him where he stood, only a couple of feet away.

“Thank you.” He’d shed his gloves and now took another step closer and wrapped both hands around the mug. “I’m not going to bed. I’m taking the next shift of guard duty.”

“Guard duty?” In the process of reaching for another mug from the open shelf next to the stove, she halted.

“That’s what I want to talk to you about.”

Her muscles tensed. “Are we in danger again?”

He released a tense breath. “Seems word spread that I was hiding you and Hyacinth at the miner’s cabin.”

“Oh.” Had someone seen her and Hyacinth leaving on the skis that day and guessed where they were going? Or had someone heard that Sterling had gone out there to help them?

“That means Claude knows I’m helping you and Hyacinth.”

At the news, her shoulders sank. “So it’s only a matter of time now before he comes back?”

Sterling hesitated. “Once he learns I’m home, yes, I’m guessing he’ll send his men back here and try to collect you and Hyacinth.”

Violet pressed a hand to her forehead. With her crutch under one arm, her coat fell open, and cold air slipped around her.

Sterling’s gaze dropped to her now-visible nightgown, and his Adam’s apple fell in a hard swallow.

She glanced down at herself to see that the neckline was low, almost indecently so, especially for a nighttime encounter with Sterling. She rapidly clutched her coat together, then hugged her arms over her chest.

His gaze shifted to her hair, the long strands damp after the bath she and Hyacinth had indulged in before going to bed. His gaze lingered over the dark waves that hung over her shoulder and down her arm.

What was he thinking?

She wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen her hair down before.

She’d been careful to keep it plaited while he’d been at the cabin.

Of course, she hadn’t expected a late-night encounter with him in the kitchen.

But she supposed anything was possible now that they were living under the same roof.

She would have to be more careful in the future.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered, still staring at her hair.

A flush splashed through her body, warming her skin and seeping all the way to a place deep inside. “I didn’t expect to see anyone…”

“I’m sorry for surprising you.” His eyes had darkened. “I saw the light and figured you were awake.”

“It’s all right.”

He hesitated, then he lifted a hand to her hair and touched one of the damp strands.

Her breath hitched.

He caressed the piece of hair tenderly, trailing his fingers down until he reached her wrist. Then he fingered the edge of her sleeve.

She still couldn’t breathe.

“Violet,” he started quietly.

“Yes?” Was her voice too eager? She had to be careful. She’d almost ruined things with her kiss earlier, and she couldn’t risk pushing him away again or upsetting the newfound peace that was developing between them.

As if recognizing the same, he retracted his hand and stuffed it into his trouser pocket. “I’ve been thinking about how to keep you safe from Claude and your father.”

She honestly hadn’t thought much about her father since running away earlier in the week. It had been the same way when she’d left Colorado with Mother in the spring. She hadn’t missed him then either. He’d never been an integral part of her life. Not the way Mother had been.

Why, then, was she letting his mistakes take up so much room in her ability to love a man? He didn’t deserve that space. She needed a way to clean out the clutter so she was free to love another man more completely and wholly, preferably Sterling.

He was still holding the warm milk with one hand. He swished the liquid around, then lifted the mug and took a drink. “As I said, Claude’s men will be back.”

“I’m sorry, Sterling. This is our fault—”

“No.” He spoke the word sharply, then lowered his voice. “No, Violet. Don’t say that.”

“I don’t want to bring more trouble and damage to the ranch. So Hyacinth and I will move out tomorrow.”

“That’s not why I’m telling you about the danger.” He twisted the mug in his hands almost nervously.

Was he nervous about having to ask her to leave? “We’ll go in the morning.”

“You don’t have to leave.”

“Yes, we’ll find some other place to hide. I’ll think about it tonight.”

He released a soft growl. Then he set his mug down on the table before reaching for both of her hands.

As his warm fingers circled hers, she tried not to think about the strength in his touch as well as the gentleness. He was such a mixture of both qualities, and she loved that about him.

“Hear me out.” He studied her hands and avoided her gaze.

“Okay.”

“I know you won’t like the idea. But it’s the best one.”

She wouldn’t like it? She wanted to protest right away, but she had told him she would listen to his plan.

“I think the best thing to do,” he started, then stopped and cleared his throat.

He was nervous. That could only mean the plan really was one she wouldn’t like. She grew motionless, her heart filling with a whisper of dread.

“It doesn’t have to be permanent, and it doesn’t have to be real,” he rushed to say. “It can be temporary and in name only. And you can leave whenever you want. I won’t hold you back. And I promise I won’t be upset at you.”

What was he talking about?

He chanced a glance up. “What do you think?”

“About what?”

“I’m saying…” He dropped his attention to the floor, his expression etched with embarrassment. “All I’m saying is that if you agree to it, Claude won’t come after you.”

“Agree to what?” As soon as the words left her mouth she knew.

He was proposing marriage again.

She jerked her hands free from his and took a step back.

“Don’t say no right away, Violet.” He let his hands fall to his sides.

Her heart started pounding with the speed of a runaway carriage, the same way it had the first time he’d proposed to her.

Sterling’s forehead furrowed, as though he could sense her mounting panic.

But why was she panicking? She didn’t want fear to be her first reaction to marrying him.