Page 6

Touch of Smoke

Grace

I rouse to the hot morning sun, burning its rays into my eyes, blinding me with light. I cover my eyes with my arm and groan. Birds are chittering loudly outside amongst themselves. The wind rustles the trees, blowing softly into my room and caressing my skin. I don’t remember opening my window last night, but Blessed Isles, that wind feels good. I feel a lightness today that I haven’t felt in some time. I’ve been caring for Mom all these years, not realizing the burden I have carried. And when I was cursed with this gift, I thought I would have a new burden to bear. But I did something amazing last night with that little girl. It’s given me a new breath. I don’t have a curse; I have a gift. It has given me a new purpose in my life, and Gods, that feels good.

I carefully stretch my body, assessing the damage I wrought on it. I lift my arms above me and lengthen my legs, wiggling my toes. I’m sore, but alive. I sit up and notice the plate of cookies is gone, and my clothes picked up off the floor, my bloody shirt gone. Mom must have come in here this morning while I slept and aired out my room. I stand up and go to the window; it’s a beautiful and sunny day. The only tell that it rained last night is the still damp ground. The wind gathers to life and gently sweeps across the grass, creating patterns as it goes. It sweeps through the garden and blows the scent of wet earth toward me. In the distance, the towering trees sway in the wind, as if they were nothing more than saplings and not ancient behemoths.

I stare for a while, mesmerized with nature’s artistry and flare. Did the Gods really make all of this? How many Gods are there? What was their purpose? Surely not all of them were cruel, were they? I know nothing of them. Texts of the Gods are forbidden, and only the priests know anything about them. We don’t have any priests this far from the kingdom capital to ask. The closest temple for Moon Mother is a day’s ride away, so we don’t make trips very often. Most of the village makes their prayers at home because of this, but Fallon and I quit at about the same time Mother stopped being able to get out of bed. Fallon said he wasn’t going to pray to someone that had forsaken our family. For me, I had found someone else to pray to, someone who listened.

Lost in thought, I hadn’t noticed Mom was in the garden until she called for me.

“Gracie bear! Get dressed and come help me out here!” she calls in a cheery tone.

I smile warmly. “Ok, Mom, just a sec!” Fresh tears well in my eyes and giddiness overwhelms me. She’s coming around. I knew she just needed time. Oh, Mene, I haven’t heard that nickname in so long. I throw on my beige garden dress, it’s littered with old mud stains and pockets for my tools. I swivel to my door and see a note on the ground in front. It must have been slipped under the threshold.

Gracie,

Meet me at Evie’s place when you wake up.

I think I found someone.

-Fal

Oh! Fallon found someone who needs help already? Ok. Yeah, I feel pretty good today; I can totally do that. I wonder who he found. Is it someone that can keep it a secret? Maybe he found another child, or maybe it’s a sick babe. Yeah, that would be an easy one. I’m so excited. I get to the front door and throw on my worn leather boots and my scarf. The weather is nice today, but the wind is still piercing. It’s always a little chilly this close to the ocean. I start to leave, but then I remember Mom wanted to spend time with me. I’ll ask her if I can go really quick, and then I’ll come back to help her later. That should be fine, she’ll understand, right?

I round the corner and see Mom bent in the garden bed pulling weeds, dark dirt sticks to her arms and thighs. Her brunette hair is done up in a top bun, but work and sweat have pulled strands loose.

“There you are, hun, get over here and help me get these weeds out. I don’t know what you and your brother have been doing out here, but these things are everywhere.” She glances up at me. “Your scarf is going to get ruined out here, Grace, go put it inside.” She turns back to her work and digs her hands into the soil around a hefty green weed.

“Mom—” I start, but she cuts me off.

“When you get back, start working on the patch next to me, will you? I tried, but it needs your little hands to get in there and get them out. Then, depending on how much we’re getting done, maybe we can take a break, and I’ll cook up some lunch. I bought some of those beef patties you like, a special treat I think, just you and me.”

“Mom—”

“I’ve noticed you and your brother have only been eating fish and potatoes. You had nothing in the pantry when I looked around. I went to market and got some supplies. I was able to trade some work for real meat, so when your brother returns from fishing, we can all have a proper meal together.”

“Mom—” I try again.

“I even found some raspberries for you—”

My words escape my mouth in an urgent rush. “Mom, I need to go.”

Her hands still in the dirt while her body tenses. “Go where?”

She’s hurt, I can tell. I look away sheepishly and lie. “Fallon wants me to meet him at the market, he needs help selling his haul today.”

Only the sounds of nature fill the air.

Guilt eats at my heart. “I’ll come back to help, Mom, I promise. It’ll be quick,” I try to reason with her.

“Ok, Grace, but then come back. I need you to stay here and help me with some things.” She shows no emotion and looks at the ground in front of her as she talks to me .

“Ok, Mom, I’m sorry. I’ll be right back, love you.” I turn and race away. The quicker I do this, the quicker I can come back. I’ll show her, it’ll be fast, in and out.

I walk along the market, and it’s solemn today. The wind blows the usual smell of fish and brine through the port, but there is also an unusual scent accompanying it today. People are whispering in gatherings, not bothering to shop. Even stall vendors are out talking amongst the others. I try to eavesdrop on the gossip.

“The fire burned everything, it went from ship to ship,” I hear a young girl whisper.

I keep walking slowly to try and catch more of what has happened.

“It had to have started last night, in the storm. Couldn’t have been a natural fire to burn like that in the rain,” mentioned a man by a fish stand.

I pretend to mess with my boot, bending down next to them.

“No, it was definitely Dragons Breath, had to be, burns like hell and can’t get it out ’til it decides it’s done,” replied the other burly man.

I start to piece it all together. I notice the fog in the port today is actually smoke, which explains the new smell. There was a fire on the ships, but where? The east side doesn’t have any charred ships docked, it had to be at the north or west side. The man said it started with Dragon’s Breath, that stuff burns worse than an oil fire. It won’t go out with water and just keeps burning until there’s nothing left to burn. It’s hard to come by though. It’s only found in the Candor Mountains in Thelios. That’s strictly Fae territory.

“The whole fleet of them is gone, can’t imagine him taking this well,” uttered a rough man. I pause, an uneasy feeling overwhelming me.

“Good, the man deserved to be taken down a peg. He thinks he’s so much better than us because he has some wealth. I’m glad it was him,” boasts another man .

Who could have possibly burned a fleet of ships with Dragon’s Breath? Oh Gods, it has to be Bellamy’s ships. Fallon . But that’s not possible, he was in the port on the east side that night. He brought me Anna from the market. There’s no way he could’ve gotten all the way to the north port, burned his fleet, and gotten to Anna as well. He wouldn’t, he promised me he’d leave them be. Unless, he got someone else to do it?

I rush to Evie’s house and it’s quiet. There’s no hammering or clinging of metal, not even a crackling fire going in her forge. She’s not out here today; she is always out here. Fear grips my heart as I walk up to her door and knock.

No answer.

“Evie? Fallon?” I yell out.

I hear a sudden clamor inside. Loud footsteps and banging, things falling over and breaking. “Gods, you’re so annoying.” a muffled voice behind the door shouts. The door suddenly swings open a crack, and Fallon’s face is there.

“You made it,” he whispers, beaming at me.

“Why are you whispering?” I ask suspiciously.

“Were you followed?” Paranoia flashes across his face as he searches for something behind me.

“Fallon, did you hit your head or something? No, of course I wasn’t followed.” I cross my arms and pop out my hip.

“Hurry, get in.” He grabs me by the shirt and hauls me inside.

“Mother Moon, what is wrong with you?” I shout, slapping his hand off me. “What did you do?”

Evie is there, standing in the middle of the room, arms crossed. “Fallon lit Lord Bellamy’s trading ships on fire,” she says deadpan.

I whip my head to Fallon. He starts explaining before I can say anything.

“Ok. So, look. Here is what happened. Ok, because it was not my fault. Right, because really … Yeah—I lit them on fire.”

“Fallon!” I scream, punching him in the arm.

“Come on, Gracie, that asshole deserved it! You think I’m just gonna let them be after what they did to you. They fucking killed you, and before that, they were going to blackmail you into marrying Harry. He’s literally the fucking worst. They should be lucky I didn’t go to their house with my axe and chop their stupid little pricks off. I can’t believe you were just going to drop it,” he talks, exasperated.

“Fallon, they’re gonna know it was us,” I whine .

“Well, it was me and Evie, not you,” he says, peeking at Evie.

“Hey! I didn’t light them on fire,” she yells at him.

“Yeah, well, you gave me the Dragon’s Breath, so you’re an accomplice.” Fallon shrugs.

Evie grabs a mug off her table and throws it at Fallon’s head, shattering it on the stone wall behind him.

“Shit, watch it, grandma.” He laughs nervously.

“You guys! We’re going to get caught.” I’m freaking out; how could they do this?

“Well, yeah, obviously they are gonna know it was me, but they can’t prove shit. I walked to Harry’s after with the leftover Dragon’s Breath I had and stored it in his shed. People will have seen someone walking from the fire to Harry’s, making him a suspect. Then, they’ll find the Dragon’s Breath hidden inside. I was careful to change after Harry’s and snuck away, going through the market and talking to everyone. That’s where I found the little girl, it was on my way home. I talked to the parents earlier in the market today, and they said they would give me an alibi if I needed it as payment for Anna.”

I stare at him, dumbfounded. He actually burned them and framed Harry. I can’t believe this.

“Plus, I punched that Carter kid,” he chimed in.

“Fallon!” That was the last straw. I burst out laughing. My pea-brained brother actually burned down a fleet of ships belonging to Lord Bellamy and blamed Harry Prickler . He’ll have no choice but to accuse him, even though he knows it was us. Otherwise, it’ll be suspicious. And he punched Carter. “I cannot believe you. Where did you guys even get the Dragon’s Breath?”

“Evie knows a guy.” He shrugs.

Evie sighs. “I know someone from back in Thelios. He trades down here in port sometimes. I like to get it for my forge when I’m working with certain metals. It burns hot.”

Fallon smiles. “Grandma is resourceful. I see why you keep her around.”

“Keep talking, little boy, see what grandma does.” She glares at him.

“What now, then?” I ask, looking between them, desperate to break the weird tension in here. “I thought you said you found someone?”

“Oh yeah. I did, but are you feeling ok? I sent the raven out this morning. I told them we would come when we can, but I wasn’t sure where you would be at today, health-wise.” I can hear the excitement in his voice, but his concern as a big brother is winning .

“I actually feel ok, Fallon, but it depends obviously on how sick we’re talking.” I eye him suspiciously.

He grins mischievously. “So, there’s an inn in Wrightsworth, I can get us a room, and from there, it’s just a short distance to Halla. There are so many people in Halla that need help, Grace. Specifically, there’s a man we would start with. He has a small farm out there, and he’s becoming too sick to till anymore. Anna’s dad told me about him, he’s a family friend. He asked me if you can see him.”

“Halla? Fallon, that’s the capital. Isn’t that too close to the King’s Priest? What if they hear about us?” I knew he was going to do this. He’s never had any kind of sense for danger.

“Grace”—his voice becomes serious—“What’s worse, performing your healing miracles here in town or far away where no one knows who you are?” Fallon comes over and puts a hand on my shoulder. “You know I would never endanger you. This is the best way for me to protect you. In the village, people are going to talk if we keep doing it here. Obviously, if there’s an emergency, I would encourage you to use your best judgement. But otherwise, let me take care of this part. Please let me find someone safe for you to heal. I cannot lose you again, Grace.”

My heart aches, and my stomach feels uneasy. He’s right, this is the best way. Everyone knows us here and everyone talks. It only takes one person to question this and turn on us.

I take a deep breath. “Ok, I trust you. When do we leave?” I ask.

“Now.” He claps his hand once loudly. “Alright, my little ponies, let’s saddle up!”

“Oh my Gods, this is going to be torture,” Evie groans. “Gracie, I might kill your brother.”

“Hey! That’s my nickname for her. Find your own, grandma,” he rebuts.

“Wait, Evie you’re coming too?” I ask, genuinely surprised. I had no idea she was getting involved with this too.

“Blazes, yeah girl, you were not honestly going to trust this big oaf to protect you, right?” She chuckles.

“That’s it, bring it on, grandma, I’m kicking your ass.” Fallon starts to walk to her, cockiness comes off him like a tidal wave. He rolls up his sleeves and gets into stance, but before he can react, Evie kicks out his feet and pushes his chest into her coffee table, shattering it from the force of his weight.

“Try again, little boy,” Evie purrs .

“Ok! Time to go,” I yell, frantic to get them apart. Oh Gods, how am I going to keep them off each other on this entire trip. I don’t know if they’re trying to fight or fuck, honestly. I think Evie is genuinely annoyed, to her my brother is probably just an annoying little babe. But to my brother, Evie is drop-dead gorgeous. She has a beautiful face with sharp features and long shiny, rich black hair. Her body has luscious curves but is still lithe. She carries a gracefulness to her, but if you’ve ever seen her dance with a sword, you would know, she is nothing but deadly.

“I demand a do-over,” Fallon groans, getting up from the shattered remains of the wood.

He has no chance with her.

Evie puts her foot on his chest and pushes him back down. “Anytime, sweetheart.”

My brother answers with a sinful grin, lying there in strewn-about pieces of wood while a hand lightly travels her leg. I stare, frozen, with an open mouth.

He has no chance, right?

Fallon and I decide to come home through the back roads. Evie is going through the market, buying the necessary supplies we’ll need for our trip. It takes us longer going through the forest trail. By the time we get home, the sun will be setting.

“Hey, maybe we should just leave in the morning? It’s almost nighttime now,” I mention to my brother.

“Yeah, I agree. Evie can spend the night with us, and we’ll leave in the morning at first light,” he responds simply.

“Ok, but she’s sleeping with me.” I glare at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fallon chuckles.

“It means, I see the way you’re flirting with her. She’s like way older than you, Fallon.” I push him with my shoulder.

“Age is just a number, babe,” he says nonchalantly .

“Ew! Seriously, knock it off, she’s my friend,” I say angrily.

Fallon laughs. “Look, I’m pretty sure she’d kick my ass if I even tried, ok, calm down.”

We walk together in silence, the wind whispering into the trees. Leaves fall gently, littering the ground with green needles. Dirt crunches under our footsteps, mine close together and his far apart. There is the sound of waves crashing in the distance, and it reminds me of the coldness I felt when I was dead, when my body floated in the sea. I break the silence.

“Thank you, Fallon,” I say, staring at our feet.

“For what?” His voice sounds confused.

I sigh. “For being my brother. There was a moment when I was dead. I knew I was dead, but I couldn’t remember anything. The only thing I remember was freezing coldness, but I knew I wasn’t ready to die. I wasn’t supposed to be there.” I stop and look up at him to find him staring at me with focused intensity. I clear my throat and continue, “When she restored me, I knew why I was fighting death. I needed you and Mom. The idea of your warmth, your love, gave me the power to come back. I mourned my past life for a while, Fallon, and I think it was right to grieve what was, because now I can see clearly what is here in front of me. The direction I’m heading and the life before me is happening, because you believed in me. You saw the fire I had in me, even when I was frozen.” I take a deep breath. “I died cold, but now I found my warmth.”

Fallon stares at me with emotion in his eyes. “I will always help you find your warmth, Gracie.”

We stop walking and embrace, letting the wind circle around us and the birds sing in the trees.

I chuckle. “What happened after you punched Carter?”

He laughs into my hair. “Pretty boy couldn’t believe it. I definitely broke his nose.”

“How did you find out about us?” I ask, bewildered.

“You’re joking, right? You think I didn’t hear you sneaking out the door every Friday night? Come on, Grace, Carter? Really?” Fallon scoffs.

“I loved him,” I shout.

My confession only causes my brother to laugh harder, his head tipping back as he clutches his stomach. “You didn’t love him, you were infatuated with him. Tell me, what about him did you love, honestly? Did he like to read? Was he an artist? How about cooking, did pretty boy cook his own meals?”

I stammer. I didn’t know. He bought me things, which was nice. We talked about his dreams for the shipping business mostly. And we had sex. Did we ever talk about anything? Did he even ask me any personal questions? What was it about him that I loved?

The man never even got me to orgasm.

Oh Gods, I wanted to marry him, and I didn’t even know him. My life with him would have been empty. I want a man that will make me live. I want someone who will love me for all the things that I am and still love me for all the things that I’m not. I deserve better.

“I didn’t love him,” I say quietly, pondering. “You’re right.”

“Good riddance to him. And Grace, for future reference, I’m always right.” He slaps me on the back of my head.

We continue walking until we make it home. Smoke is coming from the chimney. Mom must have lit a fire. Oh Blessed Infernals, I left Mom at home all day and never came back to help. I freeze. Fallon continues a few steps before he looks back at me.

“What’s wrong with you now?” he speaks up.

“I told Mom I’d be back to help her with the garden and never came back,” I whisper, my heart thundering in my chest.

“Oh,” he says, keeping the ‘o’ on his mouth.

“Yeah, she’s gonna be so mad, Fallon. She’s never going to let me on the trip now. She even cleaned my room this morning,” I say softly.

“What? No, that was me. I told you it stank in there. I came in to get you to come with me to Evie’s, but you wouldn’t wake up. You were totally knocked out, didn’t move at all.” He chuckles. “So, I opened your window to air it out. I picked up the bloody clothes and changed your water. Took away the cookies, too, because you need healthier food right now. You can’t just be eating junk, Grace.”

Oh. Mom didn’t come into my room at all, it was my brother. But she still wanted to be with me, she was in a good mood this afternoon.

Was .

“What do I say to her?” I ask Fallon.

“You’re an adult now, little Gracie. Tell her you had shit to do.” With that, he walks inside.

Great advice, big brother. She’s gonna make me eat soap if I tell her that. I walk through the garden nervously and take a deep breath as I cross through the door. Mom’s sitting inside on the leather armchair, facing the fireplace. It looks like she’s knitting a new piece, maybe a blanket .

“Hey, Mom, I’m so sorry I’m late, I—” I start to plead with her.

“Gracie bear, come over here and help me with my yarn,” she says softly.

“Oh, ok,” I say, startled. I walk over and sit on the ground next to her basket of yarn, slightly confused.

“Will you hand me the dark blue wool in there?” she asks me.

I hand her the yarn and watch as she works the navy blue wool into her piece. I observe her face, she wears a small smile as she hums to herself. Mom seems fine, but it’s a little strange to be honest. Why isn’t she mad at me?

“What are you making?” I ask her hesitantly.

“I’m making you a little throw,” she says sweetly. “It’s been a while since I could make anything for you.”

“Yeah, it has.” I sit for a while, just watching her. She hasn’t had me help her with her yarn since I was little, but she wants me here to keep her company and that warms my heart. So, I stay with her, sitting by the fire.

“Love you, Mom,” I say quietly over the crackle of the fire.

“Love you, too, Gracie Bear.” She sniffles.

I look up, keeping the rough yarn spinning in my hands. “Everything ok, Mom? I’m sorry I was late,” I apologize sheepishly.

“It’s ok, hun. I’m just trying to make up for some lost time, that’s all. Life is so short, who knows how long we have with each other.” Her voice cracks.

“But you’re back now, we’re going to have so much time together, Mom.” I lay my hand on her knee.

She stops knitting and looks at me, giving me a small smile. My eyes fall back to the blue yarn, listening to the howl of the wind against the windows. The fire pops from the fresh log, and the dried moss growing on the edges burn into ember and smoke. The yarn spins in my pale hands, hands that were once touched by the sun and freckled with its love.

The silence pulls at something in my chest, feeding it into tight tension as the yarn unwinds. Rope after rope unravels and twirls into her skilled hands, feeding into the loops of the blanket. I can’t help but shake the feeling she knows something I don’t. I know that look in my Mom, it was a smile of pity. I’ve seen it as I took care of her, helping her up and assisting her when she eats.

So, she is being nice to me because she pities me? Her daughter, the girl with the curse. Frustration sours my face. “How are you feeling then? You seem like you’re dealing with things better,” I prod.

“I’m feeling better, I’ve come to terms with things.” She stops and looks at me, bringing a hand to pet my hair. “I am giving another chance to this new life you gave me. I am going to make it worthy.”

All anger whooshes out of me in an instant as I’m flooded with relief. She doesn’t pity me. She is thanking me for her new life. I feel a genuine smile pull at my lips as my eyes water, blurring my vision. I have my Mom back.

We stay there, her petting my moon-touched hair as tears run down our cheeks until a knock sounds at the door, breaking the moment. I startle, sniffling my nose as I run my arm over my face, drying the tears.

“I’ll get it,” Fallon races out of his room, wearing nothing but his pajama bottoms. He slips on his socks, rounding the corner, and lands on the hard wooden ground with a loud thud. He grunts, gets back up, and keeps running to the front door. I watch in horror as he places a hand on the side of the door and opens it. “ Hello, grandma, ” Fallon purrs.

He doubles down, clutching his stomach. Evie comes in, stepping over Fallon on the ground.

“Hi, Gracie.” She smiles at me. “Are we ready to go?”

“Go?” Mom asks, surprised.

“Yeah—Sorry, Mom, we’re going on a trip to Halla.” I pause, suddenly feeling incredibly guilty. Mom and I were just starting to get along, and now I’m leaving her. “We’re staying at an inn in Wrightsworth, so we’ll be totally safe, but we’ll probably be gone for the next week or so …” My voice gets quieter as I explain, “But I think we’re leaving tomorrow morning.” I stand awkwardly in the silence, looking between Evie and Mom.

“Oh. I see,” Mom says, turning her gaze into the fire.

“Maybe you can come with us?” I ask hopefully. Perhaps Mom would want to see the miracles I’m making. She can come along on our trip, just like the ones we had with Dad when I was little.

“No—No, I have things I need to do. You go along.” She gives me a weak smile before turning her attention back to the flames.

“Can I sleep here?” Evie asks.

Fallon jumps up and comes to stand next to her. “My bed is big enough for two people, you can stay with me.” He smiles mischievously.

“Fallon! Have you completely forgotten what we talked about?” I shout at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, little sis. Leave this conversation to the grown-ups, ok?” He deepens his voice, puffing out his chest.

“Ok, firstly, only in your wet dreams, little boy. Secondly, I’ll bunk with you, Grace.” She gathers her stuff, and Fallon sighs, watching her walk to my room.

Gods. This trip is going to be great.