Page 27

Hagalaz

Grace

“I’m sorry, what is a rune?” I ask as we stand before the candle stations in the dining room. We already have our large pillar candles before us. The servants made them while we were out getting the Yule log. Now, we are supposed to carve something called a rune into it for nature magic. Except, I have no idea what that is or what I can carve. This is supposed to be for my brother, but what do I carve for him? Does it really work?

“They are an ancient text used for protection, strength, or wards. They hold a number of possibilities. They have a magic system all of their own, which is how they still work. It was used a lot in the Nordic realm,” Tai explains.

“Nordic realm?” I question.

Tai sighs. “The Norse people. It’s a realm, the closest to getting our likeness right. At least, for us old Gods. They embodied us the most, whereas Megala and the others embraced the Greek.”

Now I have more questions. “Who are the Greek?”

“Another realm, kid. Now shut up and carve your rune.”

“I don’t know what to carve.” I look helplessly to my candle. The flames behind Tai and me cast their shadows and gleam across the decorations on the table, warming my back and flashing onto Kai and Pearl.

“Who is it for?” Pearl asks from the other side of the shining table.

“My brother,” I quietly say, my mood going solemn. My poor brother who gave his life for me. I will be grateful for this life he has given me and sorrowful I cannot spend another Solstice with him. I will burn my candle in his memory and carve this rune for him.

“You can carve peace,” she replies softly with an encouraging smile.

“Or strength,” says Tai to my side gruffly.

“Or vengeance,” Kai mutters.

I chuckle. “I like that one.”

“Kai, you’re not helping,” scolds Tai. “She is supposed to be on a healing path. Put healing on your candle, Grace.”

“I think I’m helping quite a bit,” he replies smugly.

“What are you doing on yours, Kai?” I ask curiously, trying to peer over his long candle. Little wax shavings litter the polished table.

He grins mischievously. “Hagalaz.”

“Really, Kai?” Tai groans, exasperated.

“Knock it off.” Pearl elbows Kai’s arm. “This stuff is serious, you don’t know what you’re inviting writing that.”

“I know exactly what I’m inviting. What did you expect from me?” Kai guffaws.

“What does it mean?” I ask the group.

“Chaos and destruction,” Tai mutters.

“It’s a natural process,” he says as he carves. Suddenly, Kai’s loud chuckles fill the empty room, his laughter bubbling up before it slowly dies down. Kai breathes in deeply, annoyed.

“Yeah, that was real fucking natural.” Tai has paused his carving, glaring at his twin brother.

“Chaos happens everywhere, assholes. Sometimes it is needed in order to grow stronger.” Kai defends, giving me a quick pointed look before his eyes fall back to his candle .

“Is it for anyone?” Tai interrogates.

“No,” Kai replies quickly—too quickly.

“Kai,” Tai warns.

“It’s needed.” A dark grumbling voice answers, with gleaming red eyes inviting Tai to continue. They stand off, eyes unmoving. War and Chaos, just barely out of reach from each other’s grasp.

“It is needed,” the gravely accented voice reiterates, enunciating each word deeply.

I bite my lip, slyly looking between the Gods, ready to crack each other’s skulls into the table. I smile hesitantly in the tension, redirecting the conversation. “Pearl, what’s yours?” I ask.

“Berkana,” she says so quietly, I almost don’t hear her.

“Pearl,” Tai whispers, his voice holding hurt, but she doesn’t look at him. Instead, she keeps carving, and he keeps staring, concern etched on his face. Fire crackles into the room, popping and hissing, but no one speaks. I hold my blank candle awkwardly. What could her rune mean for Tai to express his hurt in front of us all? Why does Pearl seem so ashamed, like it was a secret?

The room has gone tense as I look at Kai and mouth, “What is it?” I bring my hand up to my lips and give a quiet point to Pearl.

“Baby,” he mouths back slyly.

Oh, I didn’t know they were trying. They must be having problems going by the tension between them and the rune. Perhaps Pearl wants a child, but Tai does not? Maybe something else is going on between them. I heard Fae can have trouble conceiving unless they’re mates. Perhaps it’s the same notion for Gods. I hear him sigh quietly next to me.

I try to lighten the mood again, bumping him gently. “Tai?” I look at him.

“Uruz,” he cuts.

“Oh, of course it’s Uruz. Do you do anything else?” Kai comments.

“I am God of War.”

“And I am Chaos, and you gave me shit!”

“Do you boys ever stop fighting?” The twins couldn’t be more different from each other, I knew that the day I met them. I’ve seen them laughing and joking, but I swear these two bicker constantly. I guess Fallon and I fought so I can’t really judge.

They both look at me furiously, noses flared like enraged bulls.

“Just ignore it, Grace, you’ll get used to it. It’s what happens when violent males stay in close quarters with no other way to relieve their tension. Well, one has a way.” She winks at me. “But he is War, he always welcomes a fight and never backs down. The others usually need to feel a fist to recenter themselves and get their Godly urges out. Gods are like us in the ways that they look similar. But they have urges—to eat, fuck, and acquire blood. Either from mortals or making another God bleed from the cracking of their own fists. They often had games that were incredibly violent or manipulative.”

Kai chuckles. “You can help me get my urges out, baby moon. I’ll let you,” says a deep, distorted voice.

“Back the fuck off, Chaos,” Tai growls, practically lunging across the table to a grinning Kai.

I gulp, my hands feeling a little shaky. I speak through the adding tension. “What’s Uruz?” I whisper, gripping my candle to my chest.

“Strength,” Tai speaks, his accent thick as he rights himself.

“Oh.” I can’t think of anything else to add as we all stand there together. I see Kai watching me and Tai occasionally peeking up from his candle. Pearl is in her own world, used to the twins fighting. I just stay there in my place, awkwardly, shuffling my feet, my candle still blank. I still don’t have any idea what to do for my brother, and that whole exchange just made the room tense for so many reasons. What do I give my brother now that he’s … dead? It’s hard to say, but he is, isn’t he? Dead. What do you give a soul that’s already departed?

“Tai,” I whisper, leaning in. “How do I carve for something like protection or safe passage for souls?”

He looks down at me and smiles, pulling sprigs of green from the borough draped across the table. He lays out the fur needles, tracing the outline for me. It has one long middle line, and at the top, a branch to either side. “It is Algiz: protection, support, and sanctuary.”

“Thanks, that’s perfect.” I smile warmly. “Tell me more of the Norse. Ro is an old God, isn’t he? So, he resembles these people?”

“Yes, same with Kai and me. A couple of others as well. They are a fierce people, warriors. They raided kingdoms with intelligence and brute strength. I loved to participate and crafted some particularly special weapons for some cunning warriors.”

“They were also farmers and fishermen. A community,” Pearls interrupts. “Healers and seers. Saji is an old God, a seer. He often visited that realm.”

“They sacrificed humans.” Kai grins madly.

“Kai,” Tai cuts.

“What, they did,” he mutters, looking back to his candle. “You guys are no fun tonight.”

I giggle, and he lets out a smirk. I do remember Evie telling stories of the old Gods and their love for blood, it makes a lot of sense now knowing them.

“They based a good amount of their Gods off of us. Odin was the All-father, but really it was Death. They often saw him between life and death, when he was readying them to cross. But, in their jumbled last words, they called out to the cloaked man with one eye to take them to Valhalla, the promised lands, and it ran. Odin was born as a seer, a pillar of strength, a King. The one to carry fallen warriors to Valhalla.”

I hold my ivory pillar in my hands, starting to finally carve, entranced by the stories. “Why does Ro only have one silver eye?”

Tai answers, “He sees souls through that eye, and the darkness invaded the other when he was made. It’s fitting, one eye for the Isles, the other for the Infernals.”

Oh. I chuckle to myself, I guess it is. “Tell me more.” I smile, I love hearing more about the realms and these old Gods.

“Thor.” Tai snickers before they all begin to laugh, and I’m left out of the joke. “Thor was this giant of a God with a massive hammer and the ability to wield the storms themselves. He was a protector of realms and very respected. Stories—myths—legends were told of this man.”

“Who is he?” I stare, wide-eyed. If Odin is Death, perhaps the giant Thor is Tai, except, he doesn’t wield storms. What God is bigger than all others like this? Why haven’t I heard of him?

They laugh again, joining in together as I’m left out.

“It was just Aesha with her lightning,” Kai shouts to the ceiling, slapping his thigh. They all burst into laughter, harder this time.

“Who is Aesha?” I ask, annoyed.

“She is the Goddess of Sky, the most petite little thing you’ll ever meet, maybe even your size actually. She has a very soft disposition, but she is the fiercest warrior I have met,” Tai comments. “Absolutely bloodthirsty.”

“There is a story of Thor defeating this giant beast. It’s funnier if you know Aesha,” Kai mentions.

“Tell it,” I demand.

Kai grins evilly.

“Yeah, tell some stories, Kai,” Pearl pushes.

He gets excited, slamming his candle down onto the table and scooting back .

“Alright, Aesha was visiting a Jarl in Ribe, as she always did. The Jarl knew who she really was—a Goddess. He was respectful and offered her a feast for every visit. Aesha loved to see him and his wife and played with their younglings. She often bestowed good weather upon them. But, one time, she couldn’t stay for the feast. Aesha had things to do, you know, weather stuff. So, she said she would be back to feast with them another day. Well, while Aesha was gone, the village was invaded. The invader had overthrown the beloved Jarl, keeping him on a chain like a pet while his wife catered to the enemy by force.”

Kai tuts; getting animated, he runs across the room doing kicks and punches. I watch as he trips on his feet, doing an air kick, and falls to his face. Kai jumps up quickly, looking at each of us suspiciously. “Who did that?” He locks his eyes on Pearl and points at her before breaking out in crazed laughter.

“Kai.” Tai’s deep voice snaps him out of it.

“What? Oh, yes. So, Aesha came in and demanded they leave. Well, if you knew Aesha, it is a laughable sight when she demands things. And so, they did laugh, greatly, the whole hall of invaders. But the Jarl was silent.” He puts his finger to his lips in a hush.

“What did she do?” I ask, pulled into the story.

“Oh.” Kai does another round of punches. “She challenged that fucker to a fight. Aesha said if she won the duel, the invaders had to swear fealty to the old Jarl. But that wasn’t enough for Aesha because she was pissed. Aesha also said she would take his skull to use as a new favorite goblet and take his dick to shrivel up in the shitter. He agreed, of course, thinking she was an easy win.”

Pearl laughs. “Can you imagine that small blonde girl with her high little voice threatening you with that?”

“That’s probably why he agreed—they dueled. She took no pity. She grabbed a hammer, and within seconds, Aesha struck him with such force he blew through several houses. Aesha called down her lightning upon him without mercy. Fried the man into bloody burnt dust, where she then went and picked up his skull, brought it back to the hall, and demanded her mead.”

We all laugh, Kai bellowing as he holds his stomach. He speaks through his laughter, “Those men fell on their knees faster for her than if their knees were smashed in by her own new hammer.”

“Fell in love too. Pretty girl with savage tendencies. Those warriors knew who she was immediately and worshipped her. She still has the cup, I believe,” Tai cuts in .

“She sounds amazing. Is the realm still there?”

“Yes and no. Ro liked it so much, he carved out the kingdoms and took them to its own realm. Almost like a living Isle that stays away from time. The other realms, without magic, they moved on. They became something else. They have forgotten about creatures and enchantments,” Tai explains.

“Like mine.”

“No, kid, worse than yours. Most of these realms, they are forgotten, forsaken. Time pressed on without us while we are trapped in here. Their realms have descended to chaos. They try and create their own magic, as their blood still remembers a time that had it. They are forever unhappy, chasing something they will never have again.

“Your kingdoms are some of the originals when Elyssus was created. The Gods are still known, and magic is still deep with your earth, within your creatures. Your land is connected to the Fae lands now, luckily for you. Together, your magic, although almost empty, keeps your lands thriving. It is just sleeping. Time is slow as you are close to us,” Tai tells me.

“So, what realm is this then?”

“This is Atlas, the realm of the Gods.”

“My kingdom seems so mundane for being the realm of Gods.”

“That is because you’ve been without magic for so long,” Pearl mentions.

“Elyssus has some ingrained in it still; these lands held much of it, although dwindling. We still imbue some in our bodies naturally, but our abilities are not to our fullest extent,” Tai says softly.

The Gods are quiet for a while as the fireplace crackles behind me. They all want their magic back; it’s easy to tell in the way no one dares to speak a word. It’s easy to see in the way their eyes remember a time that was. I hold the small knife in my hand and my candle in the other, studying everyone.

“How much longer until the magic is gone?” I ask quietly.

A sea of serious eyes stares back at me.

“What happens when it’s gone? Are you still Gods?”

No one answers me, even Kai looks at me with a deadly stare. This is a very touchy topic, and I need to change it now. There is no way they will go against Ro, and much more likely to go against me, the one that wants to overthrow his decision.

“I was just curious,” I whisper.

“There are some things that are not talked about, mortal. What we did, we did for your kind. It was our sacrifice, but that doesn’t mean any of us like what’s going to happen. We are angry, we carry sorrow. Our precious creatures are dying. Our gems and metals are turning to ash. Our food supply is dwindling, and yes, when it’s gone, we are unsure of what will happen to us. But, Grace, we do not regret saving your kind, and we would do it again,” Tai explains harshly.

“Because although we are dying, so are the others, and that makes it worth it to me,” Kai mutters darkly.

“But if you’re all gone, what will happen to us mortals?”

Softer eyes look at me now.

“We don’t know,” Pearl whispers.

“Is there no middle ground?” I ask.

“For magic to return, the Veil must fall. The Gods would make contact with the realms and a new war would start. The last war lasted centuries and devastated lands and lives. The war that would come would be worse. Would you really wish that upon your kingdom?” Tai asks me, becoming irritated.

“Snow bunny,” Kai begins.

I look to him.

“Let the Gods die.”

Let them die? All of them? My new family? How could I possibly do that? I love each of them, I could never let them go like that. What about Death?

“Will live. He can never die,” Tai interrupts my thoughts.

“How?”

“He embodies death, Grace, in a constant state between life and death, melding between worlds. His soul is corrupted by Darkness, technically, he doesn’t have one. How can you kill a man when he carries no soul to kill? It is what created his power when he was made within the shadows of the blast. He was created by Primordials and Celestials, beings far above us. His power is different—his life is different than a regular Gods.”

“So, all of you will die but him. He’ll be all alone.”

Everyone stays silent with fallen faces.

“He doesn’t deserve that,” I whisper.

“It is what he has demanded,” Kai mutters.

“What do you mean?” I ask.

Tai cuts Kai a look and his face falls to his candle.

“Kai,” I push.

“That is enough, Grace. ”

“But—”

“Enough! This will not be discussed any further.”

The tension is thick in the air as we all stare downcast at our candles. The smell of fir is strong in the room from the centerpiece on the table and the mantle behind me. I look up and examine the room, the dining room has been transformed into a warm room full of candles and pine. My candle feels heavy in my hand knowing my new family will die sometime soon from their lack of magic. I wonder how much longer they have? It seems as though they still have a bit of magic left. Perhaps I will die before them.

How can they be ok with this? They are just going to let it happen? They are fierce Gods, proud and strong, and they are just giving up and withering away. None of them will stand up to Ro, they are just accepting his orders. For Tai to scold me like that, when I just want them to live—what a coward. My jaw clenches as I furrow my brows. I stare angrily at my ivory candle. What are we even doing? I need to keep working on getting across the Veil. I need to free magic to keep my family alive. I need to take revenge against my kingdom. I have so much to do, and I’m just carving fucking candles. I have promises I need to fulfill.

“Hey.” Kai nods his head at me gently. I catch the movement and look up. “Want to hear a story about Tai?” he asks softly with a small smile.

I shrug, feeling indifferent.

He gives a devilish smile. “Once upon a time, Tai had a sword—”

“Oh, come on, not this one,” Tai groans, embarrassment in his voice. Oh, now I definitely want to hear it.

“Tai was clumsy enough to leave his beautiful and special sword unguarded one night, and it was stolen. Except, this wasn’t just some normal old sword. He made this sword himself, with his own magic. The sword would bring victory to battle to anyone that wielded it.” Kai chuckles.

Tai groans, wiping a hand down his face.

“He woke up one morning and couldn’t find his damn sword. It wasn’t until a war broke out in another realm that he knew. But he went just in time for the wielder to be found slaughtered and the next wielder already gone.” Kai laughs harder the more he talks. “Tai chased that damn sword all over the realms, from war to war only for it to escape him every time. He still hasn’t found it!” Kai is slapping his knee, buckling over in laughter .

Even Pearl is chuckling while carving her candle.

“It’s one fucking sword and hundreds of realms. What am I supposed to do? I’ve given up on it, honestly; the thing is cursed for mortals anyways. Let them die over their ill-won wars.”

“What do you mean, cursed?”

“Only I can wield it. If a mortal tries, they’ll win, but it will be short-lived. They die quickly after, murdered by another who wins the next war.” He shrugs. “Let them have it.”

“Does that happen a lot to Gods’ weapons and mortals?” I ask.

“Yes, Gods’ magic morph into something else when used by mortals. If you find something Gods made, I’d leave it alone. Especially if it was made by him.” Tai nods to Kai.

Kai grins wildly in response.

I smile at him, his chaos is so inviting. Why is it so hard to resist him? I know Ro is mine. I know it in my soul, and the way my body reacts to him. Yet, I can’t help but want to be near Kai. I study his handsome face focused on his candle, his deft fingers carving into the ivory pillar. My breathing picks up as my gut turns warm. I can only wonder what else those fingers could do. His crimson eyes slowly look up at me sinfully, watching me in return before he gives me a sly smile that catches my breath.

Predatory eyes keep contact with mine, neither of us breaking.

“Grace, are you excited for the Solstice party?” Pearl’s desperate voice snaps me out of my trance, and I spin to her, breathless.

“Um, yes.”

“Are you almost done with your candle?” Tai asks next.

I know what they’re doing, distracting me from Kai, maybe it’s for the best. “Yeah, I think so. Is this right?” I hold up my candle to Tai.

“I’d say that’s perfect. Is everyone ready to place their candles?”

I glance back at Kai, and he is still watching me, studying me.

“Come on, Grace.” Tai urges me away toward the mantle.

We all place our candles on the wooden mantle of the fireplace in the dining room, making sure the window curtains are open for the spirits to see our offerings. Tai says the Solstice spirits will bring our wishes to our loved ones, but we must make an easy pathway for them. Although the days of the Solstice hold much magic with their nature, there is little of it left in the realm. We must aid as much as we can. Pearl slings open the dark curtains and lets the moonlight in. Its pale light shines on the floor, meeting the warmth of the flames’ shadows dancing on the hardwood .

“Would you like to light them, Grace?” Tai asks softly, bending down to me and handing me a long matchstick.

“I wanted to do it,” Kai grumbles.

“Help me, Kai, I can’t reach them on my own.” I reach for him.

He smiles, coming over to pick me up by the hips.

“I was just joking, Grace, but if it means I can be close to you, I won’t argue,” he whispers into my ear, sending shivers down my body. “Was there any reason you were looking at me with such naughty eyes? I thought you were off-limits. I thought you wanted my brother,” Kai breathes into my hair as he moves me across each candle. I don’t answer as I hold the long stick with a flame and light each wick. I watch as the cotton twine catches light, turning black on the tips and leaving its own orange flickering flame. I’m hyperaware of large, warm hands circling my hips, holding me close to a muscled chest. Kai nuzzles against my jaw before whispering to me once more, “You could have us both you know.” Before gently setting me down, sliding me down his entire body.

I am thoroughly shaken by that point and a little lightheaded as I swoon. I feel the wetness gathered below as I want—need attention. This man is pure chaos: sinful, depraved, wicked chaos. Tai comes to my side, putting a hand on my back protectively, and Kai chuckles under his breath.

“Brother to the rescue, as always,” Kai whispers, giving me a wink.

Tai ignores him. “When the spirit blows it out, your rune has been seen.” We all stare at our candles for a while, watching them melt, before heading to bed. Tai escorts me through the dark halls, dimly lit by candles.

“I understand you’re cross with me,” Tai sullenly whispers into the dark.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I reply coolly. We walk up the stairs silently, our footsteps echoing into the Grand Hall.

“It’s a sensitive subject, Grace,” he tries again.

“I understand.”

I hear him sigh before grabbing my arm and spinning me toward him. “I do not need you stirring up trouble like this.”

“I don’t know what you mean. I was just curious.”

“You know damn well what I mean, or have you forgotten I can hear your destructive thoughts?” he growls, getting into my face.

I just stare at him.

“Please, stay with us. Stop trying to get across the Veil. Can’t we be enough for you?” His desperate pleas throw me off.

“The magic—”

“Is not your concern. We aren’t dying anytime soon. Grace, please. I can’t stand knowing you’re going through this turmoil. We love you. I have not put all this effort into keeping you alive just for you to try to find more ways to get yourself killed.”

“I just don’t want you to die. Why can’t I try to keep you alive? Why can’t I free my own people from its bounds as you once did?” My voice wavers.

His face is pained as he looks at me. “I guess I can’t ask you not to do as we have done. I can only beg you to reconsider, for entirely selfish reasons.” He caresses my cheek lightly.

Sadness rears its way into my heart, pushing out the cold determination. Moon Goddess, please give me the insight on what to do. I grab his hand and lean into it. “I’ll think about it.”

“One more thing, if I may,” Tai whispers. I look up to him to see worried eyes. “I understand you and Kai have a connection. A connection I don’t quite seem to understand, frankly. Please, you need to remember he is dangerous, and Chaos is to stay away from you. You cannot have both, regardless what my brother thinks. Neither will share, so pick one.”

“That’s not—”

He holds a hand up, cutting me off.

“Just pick and that’s the last I’ll hear of it.”