Page 5

Rise of the Moon

Grace

It’s been days since I saw Carter at the market with that girl. I can’t get it out of my head. He was so happy . Did he mourn me at all? The girl he supposedly loved? I haven’t eaten since I got home that evening, I have no appetite. The slightest smell of food makes me nauseous. I haven’t bathed, I don’t have the energy to. Even breathing takes effort. All I do now is lie in my bed and stare out of my window. I focus on the wooden siding, staring at the way the wood notches and the depth of each scratch, my mind empty. The once-too-bright rays of light fade into darkness as I watch the shadows play across my room. My body sinks into the mattress, feeling hot and heavy as I look out through the glass absently. I would turn to a cool side, but I feel so tired. I feel nothing, I feel everything, I feel sorrow, but never happiness.

My eyes catch my teddy bear sitting on my dresser. His dark hair is completely matted now, and his black jeweled eyes are so scratched they’re almost white. I have an unhealthy relationship with that bear. Shadow is almost as old as me, I’ve had him for so long. For a very long time, I took that stuffed bear everywhere with me. Usually, he can bring me comfort whenever I’m upset, but I’m just too far gone this time. I still like to look at him though. Mister Shadow blends into the dark corner, my eyes just making out his little form.

I sigh.

What would it take to just feel anything other than what I’m feeling now? I’m so exhausted, I feel it deep within my soul. It is an extreme tiredness, latched onto me and feeding my energy into a slimy parasite that sinks its teeth into every part of my body. I have no need to do anything or care for myself in any way. I don’t want to see my family or friends. I want to hide in the darkness and let my soul recede.

I think the worst part of this is, I remember what happiness once felt like. I remember the feeling of laughter, shaking my whole body in joy as I smile. I remember what it’s like to dig my fingers through the damp garden dirt and feel the cool breeze through my hair. I remember the feeling of love bursting from my body, filling my heart with warmth.

Why can’t I feel that anymore? I would give anything to go back to one of those feelings. Instead, I am dead inside. I feel absolutely nothing, and, in turn, I care for nothing. I am numb and sad at the same time. Will I ever be happy again?

I turn onto my back and sigh, staring at the shadows on the ceiling.

There is a quiet knock on the door.

“Gracie? I have dinner. Can I come in?” Fallon asks gently, his voice muffled from behind the solid oak door.

“I don’t care,” I mutter. I really don’t.

Fallon walks into my room and makes a scrunched face. “It is ripe in here.” He brings in a dinner plate and sets it on my nightstand, taking away the previously untouched breakfast. The smell of food makes my stomach turn and twist.

Fallon sits on my bed, his added weight making my body bounce as he turns toward me.

“So … are you ever gonna tell me what happened?” He talks softly, afraid to break me .

“I don’t feel like talking, Fallon,” I whisper, my heart feeling heavy.

“Come on, Grace, give me something here,” he pleads. “I can’t stand seeing you like this.”

I sigh. “I died,” I say plainly.

“Yeah,” Fallon says. His face clearly showing he doesn’t quite understand as he looks me over. “But you’re back now.”

I sit up, anger welling inside me. “You don’t get it, Fallon. Those assholes killed me. And they are going to get away with it! They moved on like nothing happened, they have no consequences! And Carter , he said he loved me, and the moment I’m dead, he’s married. How long do you think it took him to get over me? These assholes think that because I’m some village girl they can just screw me over! I’m angry, Fallon, and fucking tired. Am I worth nothing?”

Fallon is quiet as he studies my twisted face.

I throw myself back into the bed in a puff, resuming my gaze back at the wooden ceiling.

“So, let’s do something about it,” he says with a shrug.

My breath hitches. I sit up on my elbows and stare at him tentatively. “What do you mean?”

Fallon smirks at me. “I know for a fact Mr. Bellamy gets a lot of his wealth from his ship trading company. They have their own spot in port. Would be a real shame if his ships caught on fire. Would be an even more awful shame if they found out Harry Pracker started those fires.” He looks at me mischievously. “You in?”

I actually laugh a little. “Fallon Teller, you’re a pea-brain. You know if we retaliate against them at all, they’ll expose me to the King. I’ll be hung.”

“I know, but a man can dream, can’t he?” He smirks.

“Fallon, please tell me you aren’t actually going to do this. Is this why you’ve been coming home late?” I accuse, furrowing my brows.

He looks at me, an expressionless mask on his face. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“All I do is lie here. You think I haven’t heard you sneaking in every night?”

A flash of anger surfaces that I didn’t know he held. “I may not have been the one to die, Grace, but I want those assholes to suffer just as much as you. You’re my little sister, no one gets to treat you like that and get away with it.”

I pause, listening to his heavy breaths. “Fallon, please, we can’t,” I beg, my words coming out small. I take his hand in mine and look at him deeply.

Fallon closes his eyes, taking a deep breath and holding it in. He holds it for what seems like ages and then releases. “Fine,” Fallon bites out. He opens his eyes and releases my hand without sparing me a second glance.

Fallon gets off of my bed, frustrated, and leaves without another word. Once the door is shut, I lie back down on my bed and close my eyes. Sleep takes me quickly.

I am so tired.

The next day begins the same as the rest. Mom makes breakfast in the kitchen, Fallon goes out fishing, and I lay in my bed all day. It’s a full moon tonight. I watch as Mene rises into the sky, chasing away the sun. She’s beautiful and bright and drives away the dark clouds. I stare at her glowing in the midnight sky. Why did you pick me, Mene? I can’t do this. I don’t want this.

There’s a quick knock at the door. Mom comes in with a plate of cookies. They smell absolutely delicious. My mouth waters at the scent as she sets them on my nightstand.

She sits on my bed and looks at me. “Hi, sweetie.”

“Hi, Mom,” I whisper.

“You look like a mess.” She chuckles lightly.

“Yeah.” I eye the treats. Cookies and small talk? She’s barely talked to me since I healed her, this is suspicious.

“I just want to say, I’m proud of you.” My breathing stops. “I know you’ve been feeling down lately, but I’m proud of you for keeping all this to only us. We just have to keep moving forward and be strong. We can get over this, you and your curse. I know I was a little shocked at first, but I’m here for you. You need to start eating again. You can’t let this depression win, Grace.”

I’m at a loss for words. She still thinks I’m cursed. I may not want these abilities, but I don’t think they’re a curse. I think for anyone else they would be welcomed, but I’m still mourning my past life. I’m not ready to accept this. I look up at the full moon and I could swear she’s shining right on me. Mene, what do I do?

All of a sudden, the front door slams open, shaking the house while the windows rattle. Fallon rushes in with a wet little girl in his arms.

“Grace!” he shouts. “Grace, come here now! I need you!” His voice is urgent.

Mom and I run out my room to watch Fallon set a small child on the ground. She’s gasping for air, but the noise is coming out as wet gargles. Bright crimson blood trickles from her mouth and drips onto the oak floorboards. It runs down her pale neck, soaking through her shirt and saturating it like a morbid watercolor painting.

“Grace.” Fallon looks at me intensely. “I need you.”

“Fallon.” I’m wordless, as fear grips me. My breath is still, and my heart pounds into my ears.

“It’s pouring outside, one of the market stalls collapsed from the rain, and a post went right onto the girl’s chest and crushed her. I think it’s her lungs. I don’t know, she can’t breathe, Grace, and she’s bleeding.”

I lower myself onto the ground, my bare knees touching a puddle of water as I sit next to the little girl. She’s deathly pale and her lips are ashen, borderline blue. Ugly flashbacks of being revived in the ocean rear into my mind. I remember how it felt to choke on the biting water and the saltwater burning in my lungs. A shiver runs up my spine as my shoulders hike up to my ears involuntarily.

Footsteps crunch on the rocky path outside. I look up and see a crying woman with long pale-drenched hair, wispy strands stuck to her face. A burly man carrying a worried frown follows after her as they rush inside through the open door. The mother stops when she sees her daughter dying on the ground and lets out a sharp gasp. The shock subsides quickly as she lets out a loud, piercing wail. The sound is horrifying, something only a parent can produce in their grief of losing a child. She falls to her knees and crawls to her daughter. Wet hands slap the floorboards as she clambers across the room.

“Anna!” The mother grabs Anna and holds her, rocking her back and forth as she cries.

“What in the Infernal Blazes do you think you’re doing? She needs a doctor!” the father screams at us. He runs over to his wife and gets on his knees, wrapping his arms around her and Anna. “We have to get her to Dr. Shadi, sweetheart, quickly. ”

“She won’t make it somewhere else!” yells Fallon. “Grace is a doctor!”

I look at him pointedly. “Fallon, I don’t know what to do, I have no idea how I healed Mom. It was a fluke!” I whispered angrily.

“Just do it, exactly like Mom,” he whispers back, matching my angry energy.

The girl is still gasping for breath, but now blood is oozing from her mouth in rivers. She’s choking. Her little body starts thrashing in her mother’s arms as she chokes to death on her own blood. We all watch her in horror, the parents starting to scream for her. Oh Gods, I don’t know what I’m doing. I hurry and reach for the girl, touching her round cheeks. She’s freezing cold to the touch. The mother is sobbing and shaking while holding the girl.

“What are you doing? Help her!” shouts the mother frantically.

I flinch, bringing my hands to cradle back in my chest. I look back to Fallon, and he nods at me encouragingly. My hands are shaking as I reach again for the girl’s face, touching her gently. I wait expectantly, but nothing happens. I look at Fallon helplessly. He urges me with his hands, encouraging me to keep trying. I turn my attention back to the girl, she’s just a child. Her short blonde hair is soaking wet and streaked with blood, sticking to her small, chubby face. Gods, she can’t be more than three years old.

What did I do for Mom? I touched her face, but I’m doing that now and nothing is happening. I also held her hand and thought of our memories together. I don’t have memories of this girl, so I grab her hand, close my eyes, and I think of memories with Fallon.

I think back to when we were little; we wrestled a lot as kids. Fallon would push my face in the mud, and I would kick him in the balls as retaliation. He always went down like a sack of potatoes. A smile comes to my face. What else? I peek an eye open and see she’s barely moving. Panic starts to set in. The girl is dying. I can’t do this.

“Come on, Gracie. Focus, I believe in you.” Fallon’s voice is calm, a pillar of strength spurring me on.

What else, Grace?

I wanted her to live. Yes, most importantly, I wished for my mother to live. I look down at the little girl, she has so much to live for. I take a deep breath, and I wish. I wish for her to wrestle in the mud with her brother. I wish for her to hear endless bedtime stories from her mother when she is supposed to be sleeping. I wish for her father to teach her how to fish, letting her hold the slippery-scaled beast in her hands. I wish her friends could play with her again for endless summer days. I wish she could fall in love and have kids of her own. I wish for her to have infinite happy memories and to live the life she wants. I wish for her to live.

I feel it, a large stabbing pain shoots into my left side and straight into my lungs. I’ve been skewered in pain. My chest feels so much pressure. I can’t breathe as if I’m being squeezed in a vise. The pain is agony. My ribs feel like they’re being roasted on a fire, I could swear I felt one crack. I’m trying to breathe, gasping for air, each lungful burning in my chest. Weakness overcomes me, and my hands are racked with tremors. Warm liquid comes rushing up my throat as I cough and sputter mouthfuls of crimson blood onto the floor.

Finally, the little girl takes a deep breath in, holds it, and releases. She takes another, and another. Until finally, her breathing returns to normal, and her color returns gradually. The pain in my chest subsides to a burning ache, and the bleeding stops as I spit my last mouthful. My breathing coming back in small pants.

The weakness doesn’t leave. Instead, it fills my body with exhaustion. The girl opens her big blue eyes in a flutter, looking at me with child-like surprise. It’s completely quiet in the room, save for the rainfall outside and the crackling of the fire in the hearth.

I grip my left side with a shaky hand, my ribs especially sore as I chance a look up to the parents. The father studies me with furrowed brows while the mother looks between her daughter and me in wonder.

Oh Gods, they’re going to report me.

“Anna?” The mother’s voice is barely more than a whisper.

“Momma?” Her little voice is celestial, making me sigh in relief.

“Oh Gods!” The mother cracks into sobs and brings her daughter in for a fierce embrace.

“Thank you,” the father speaks, his voice cracking with emotion.

They hold each other in a big embrace on the floor, the pile unmoving for a long while as they laugh and sob. The picture of a family overcome with elation. I sit and watch them, feeling an overwhelming satisfaction for saving Anna. This moment exists because I used my gifts. How could I ever deny my abilities now? How could I rob another family of this moment when I have the ability to help? The mother pulls away suddenly and grabs me, pulling me in for a hug. She holds me tightly, her warmth feeding my soul. After a short moment, we separate, and I’m surprised to see fresh tears running down her face.

“You are sent from Mother Moon herself,” speaks Anna’s mother. “How can we ever repay you?”

“You don’t have to give me anything, but please, don’t tell anyone,” I beg them quietly.

The mother and father look at each other, their eyes silently communicating. Quickly satisfied with what transpired between them, they nod. The mother turns to me. “Not a soul.”

The father comes around and picks up Anna, cradling her as he carries her out of the door while the mother trails close behind. They shut the door behind them, leaving us to a silent room.

I glance a side-eye at Fallon. He is already watching me, wearing the stupidest grin on his face. We both burst out laughing, and he runs, tackling me. I cry out in pain and laughter.

“I knew you could do it, Gracie. Wasn’t it amazing?” His voice full of joy.

“You’re so stupid, Fallon.” I laugh, holding onto my side. “They could’ve told.”

“Come on. Say it. It felt good, didn’t it?” He punches my shoulder lightly.

I pause and look at him, his goofy grin beaming at me. “Yeah, it was pretty amazing.”

I chance a look at Mom. She’s staring at us with an unreadable expression. “It wasn’t so bad, right, Mom?” I say to her softly.

“No,” she says quietly. “It wasn’t so bad.” She gives me a weak smile.

“So, it’s decided, I’ll find someone else, and we can do it again.” Fallon claps his hands together, happy with his plan.

Mom and I shout in unison. “What?”

“Yeah! Come on, Gracie, you said it yourself, it felt good. Imagine saving more lives like that,” he pleads to me. “You’re destined for this. Please, Grace.”

“It’s hard on my body Fallon. Each time I heal, I experience their pain, and I think it takes my health. I can’t do this a lot and definitely not really sick ones like Mom. I think it could kill me.” I look at Fallon, while he registers what I’m saying.

He slowly gets close to me, noticing my hand gripping my ribs and understanding dawns on him. “Are you telling me you just felt everything that little girl was feeling?” Fallon says with distress.

“Yeah, I think so, but I will do it again, Fallon. The pain … it’s a lot, bu t it was worth it. Really. She’s alive because of me,” I say to him softly. I can tell he’s at war with what I’m telling him. Fallon has always protected me and watched over me. He loves me. He’s my big brother. I know he doesn’t want me in pain, but this is bigger than me now. Fallon’s brows are furrowed, staring at me, waiting for me to change my mind.

“Gracie—” he starts, my name coming out stern.

“Stop calling me that!” I shout as I stomp a foot.

He chuckles. “Ok, kid, but the moment it becomes too much, I’m pulling you.”

“Deal!” We smile at each other and shake hands.

We hear Mom’s bedroom door shut. She left us without a word.

“I’m going to bed, too, Fallon. I’m exhausted. See if you can find someone in a couple days, would you? I need some rest.” Fallon helps me up and walks me toward my room, my feet feel like they’re dragging below me.

“Get some sleep, Gracie, we’ve got some God’s work to do,” he says proudly.

Fallon shuts the door for me, and I shuffle to my bed. Wow, it does smell in here. The stale air is stained with a mix of old food and body odor. How long have I been wallowing in my own misery? I notice there’s blood on my shirt and hands, so I strip and put on a fresh nightshirt. I wash the dried blood off my hands in the washbasin, watching the bright red stains mix into the water. I look in the mirror and I’m haggard. My eyes are bloodshot, and I have purple circles underneath them while my hair is dull and brittle. I glance behind me and notice the plate of cookies still on my nightstand. I dry my hands and walk to my bed. Sitting, I grab a cookie, inspecting it. Oatmeal. I make a face, crinkling my nose as I debate if it’s worth it. Eh, a cookie is a cookie. I eat it lazily and think about Mom. I’m worried about her, but I think she just needs more time. Once she sees me doing good for the people of Calibria, she’ll warm up to this all. She’s going to be so proud of me. She’ll see this isn’t a curse, this is a blessing. I’ll prove to her I can do this, and I won’t get caught.

Once finished with the cookie, I lie myself down in bed, my head hitting the soft cool pillow. I pull the quilt Mom made me over my body and look at the full moon one more time before I lose myself to the dark, soft blanket of sleep.