Page 23

Death v. Donut

Grace

Today, Tai says we’re eating breakfast together in the dining room. I think he’s tired of me eating in his bed since I’m not so great about cleaning up the crumbs. I don’t understand why he even cares. I’m the only one that sleeps in it now. The War God sleeps solo on the couch. The man is so uptight, especially when it comes to keeping his room tidy. He always orders me to make the bed before I go, and I can’t have any clothes on the ground, or he’ll hurl them at my face. I am the child he has never wanted.

“Why do I have to go to breakfast?” I whine.

“Because you’re attracting rats into my room,” Tai says sternly. “Hurry up and get dressed or Kai will eat all the food.”

With a sour face, I get my white tunic and leather pants on quickly. Tai escorts me out of the room and down the hallway. I’m a little nervous to eat with everyone, mostly because I haven’t seen Ro since I blew him in the hallway. The man is confusing, he hates me and then he likes me.

“Be nice and he won’t hate you,” Tai mutters.

“You know damn well he would still hate me. The only reason he hasn’t killed me yet is because I sucked his dick, and you know it,” I argue with him. All this time living in the same room together has turned us into an old cantankerous couple.

He chuckles. “I’d keep doing it if I were you then.”

I slap his muscular arm as we walk into the elegant room. There is a moderately sized dark wooden table set for four people. It’s polished to a shine, reflecting the rest of the ornate room in its mirror. The wide room actually has windows, which is rare. They reach to the ceiling, letting bright light into the area. The room is spacious, with pillars and spires reaching into elegant arches. I sit down, and Tai sits across from me, pulling a napkin onto his lap politely.

“Hey, guys. I didn’t know you were coming to this thing.” Kai’s calls echo into the dining hall as he saunters into the room.

I smile; thank the Gods Kai will be here to ease some tension. “Good morning, Kai!” I greet him excitedly.

“Hi, my little flower blossom.” Kai kisses me on the head affectionately and sits lazily to my right.

I start to panic as I realize there is an open spot to my left. “Tai, scoot over,” I whisper urgently.

Tai smiles knowingly. “That my dear, is Ro’s spot. It always has been and always will be. Just as I sit here, and Kai sits there.”

Large steps thunder into the room, vibrating the stone floor. I bite my lip as I see him strolling in wearing a black tunic and matching black leather pants. He’s wearing his wavy hair up today in an informal bun. Ro gets to his chair and eyes me with an air of indifference before sitting in his seat.

I gulp, lowering my head, but continue to watch him slyly, secretly ogling him. His billowy tunic is loose giving me a show of the tattoos on his chest and neck. The strange symbols make no sense to me. I wander up his throat and to his strong jaw, watching the muscles clench. Ro’s black-marked hands are interlaced, set in front of his mouth. The same beautiful mouth that always tastes of whiskey and smoke. My mouth waters remembering our kiss. Right before I got on my knees and choked on his thick veiny cock. Gods, his groan, so deep and guttural. I am so wet right now thinking about it, my pussy is throbbing, begging for attention—

Tai clears his throat loudly. “Grace. Please redirect your thoughts,” he whispers in a plea.

I look up and notice all eyes fixed on me. Ro is staring at me intently, his eyebrows furrowed like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle. Kai’s eyes are hungry as he licks his lips, a dark shadow threatening to come out. Tai just looks like he’s in pain. “Sorry,” I say, my voice husky.

A server comes around, interrupting us, and sets a round platter of pastries in the middle of the table. I see a sort of donut with what looks to be raspberry spread. That is my favorite flavor. I reach for it, just as Ro does. We both pause our reach, looking at each other’s hands.

I snatch it quickly, just as he tries, but I take it victorious.

“You little witch, give that to me at once,” his dark voice demands.

“Say please,” I tease.

“How about instead, you give it to me, and I will not snap your flimsy little neck,” Ro growls. He reaches, trying to grab it from my hands, so I lick up and down the pastry. I stick my tongue out at him, snickering.

He narrows his black eyes at me. “You are a vile creature.” Ro seethes.

“You didn’t seem to think so the other night. You quite liked this tongue actually,” I taunt Ro.

Kai snickers next to me until Ro cuts him a look, making him cease immediately.

“You want to know why I liked it?” Ro whispers, leaning into me, captivating me.

“Why?” I breathe, caught in the pull of his tether.

“Because you were so busy choking on my cock, you could not fucking talk,” he purrs, snatching the pastry out of my hands. The wicked God glares at me while he takes a massive bite. My mouth drops.

Fucking asshole.

I cross my arms in a pout, watching him eat my pastry. The servers bring out our plates, diced seasoned potatoes with a side of sausage and berry pancakes. My mood warms up as I smell the delicious-looking food, making my mouth water. I dance and hum while eating little slices of steaming pancake, happy to eat.

“What are you doing?” Ro’s deep voice asks me. He looks at me with a raised eyebrow, perplexed.

“I’m eating? What does it look like I’m doing?” I reply with attitude.

“Why are you dancing?” he questions me again.

I sigh, exasperated. “Because I’m happy, duh.”

“Females dance when they eat; they are happy when you fill their bellies. The little beasts calm themselves. It is a known fact, Ro,” Tai interjects.

“It cannot be that known if I did not know it,” Ro grumbles, his glare never leaving me.

“Maybe you don’t know everything, Your Highness,” I sass.

Ro narrows his eyes at me. “I do not like your attitude.”

“Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn’t have eaten my pastry,” I shout at him.

“It was my pastry. My palace equals my pastry,” he yells back, getting heated.

“I had it first!” I stand from my chair, the wood scraping against the floor.

“And yet, I am the one who ate it!” Ro yells smugly.

I don’t know what compels me, but I reach over to his plate and smash my hand in his food. I mash it around under my fingers, watching the pancakes turn into mush. I look at him triumphantly. Without warning, he snatches me quickly by my long hair and brings a knife to my exposed throat.

“Listen here, girl, because you are on thin fucking ice. I was looking forward to my breakfast, I rather like the meal. I get one raspberry pastry, a steaming cup of coffee, and a hot meal for every breakfast. Something you have just ruined entirely. Now, I quite like breakfast, and I do not like you. So, tell me, how should I move forward?” He seethes, breathing me in as he angles my neck further. Ro digs the knife deeper into my throat and a warm bead drops down my neck. “Do you think you will heal fast enough if I slice your neck open? Kai, what would you bet?”

“Oh, she’d bleed out first, definitely,” Kai says matter-of-factly, food in his mouth.

“Kai,” Tai mutters under his breath, kicking him under the table.

“What? He fucking asked,” Kai grumbles.

“Yes, I think she would bleed out first too.” Ro’s fierce eyes cut to my throat.

“Fuck, Ro, just take mine. I haven’t touched it yet!” Tai yells desperately .

Ro holds me still, his hand grips my hair with searing heat. Tears well in my eyes from the fresh pain. The God of Death stares at me with depthless black eyes that burn hot with fury. His gaze crosses through my face, contemplating his next move.

Ro is seriously considering killing me over breakfast. He digs the knife in deeper, the burn making me freeze, my muscles tense. I am pissed, I am terrified, but also, I am so turned on. Why is this making me want to jump him, right here, right now, in front of everyone? I want to claim him while he roughly punishes me. I stare into his furious face and watch as something changes in him. Ro’s nose flares and his black eyes glance at mine.

Finally, Ro looks to Tai’s food, licking his teeth behind his lips. “Switch me,” he orders, letting go of my hair and removing the knife.

My breath shudders as I drop onto the hard ground. What a fucking asshole, a stupid hot asshole.

My chest rises rapidly as I crawl back into my chair. I glare at Ro as he takes a sip of his steaming mug, and I narrow my eyes. I wonder how far I could run if I knocked it into his lap. I would definitely die, but I would be immensely satisfied.

“Alright, Grace, I think you’re full. Go find Pearl,” Tai says urgently, staring pointedly at me.

I get up in a huff, grumbling as I leave.

“Focus, Grace!”

I hear Pearl’s voice echo through the sparring ring as I throw my knives at an old, chipped trunk. Each knife plunks off the worn wood, never finding its mark.

“I’m trying!” I yell, exasperated. “I’m throwing it, why won’t it stick!”

“You’re too worked up, calm yourself.”

I groan, annoyed. When was the last time she missed her target? I bet never. I bet she was just created a perfect fighting machine. I bite my lips, my head falling back. Stormy clouds pass overhead in the sky, I don’t know the last time I saw the sun. This place is always so gloomy. I take in a deep breath, the fresh cold air refreshing my lungs. The woodsy scent of pines fills my nostrils, and it calms me. I breathe, over and over, until I drop my head back to reality, locking on to my target.

I steady my heart, feeling the metal in my grip as I rub my thumb over the handle. Staring into the thick trunk, I ready my throw, pulling back behind my head. Finally, I throw, releasing it into the wind. I watch as my knife completely misses the tree and flies outside of the circle.

Frustrated hands go to my head, pulling my hair as I groan. “I’ll get it,” I call out. I clench my jaw as I start running outside, I need to get out of this circle. I need a break. I rush through the bushes, looking to the ground for a shiny knife, swiping long leaves away.

“No, Grace!” Pearl screams, fear ripe in her voice.

I startle, looking back to her with furrowed brows.

“Don’t move, stay calm.” She holds shaking hands out to me, a plea to stay put.

Panic overtakes me as my breathing turns heavy. Slowly, I turn my body to see what has her so scared. A whimper escapes me as I see the large billow of shadows floating erratically before me, its wisps lash out, aggravated. The angry being quickly conforms itself into a human-like creature. It shapes an appearance, hooded and faceless, with jagged arms. It wears a cloak of dark, misty shadows as it approaches me menacingly.

“Pearl,” I choke, watching the mist crawl closer to me.

“Don’t fight it; let it come to you. As long as you have nothing to hide, it won’t hurt you. It will recognize your place on the mountain. Our scents are all over you.” She tries to calm me, but I can hear the nervousness in her tone. She isn’t sure if it will hurt me or not.

Pearl thinks I have a place on the mountain, but do I really have one here? I’m not so sure. Perhaps that’s why she’s so nervous, she isn’t sure either. A furious arm lashes out and slashes into a tree trunk. Chips of wood go flying as another shoots at me like a spear, landing just to the right of my feet.

I run.

“Grace!” I hear Pearl scream as I bolt. I register her panic, but I can’t stop as I let my own fear run rampant through my heart. Fern leaves swish into my face as I sprint blindly, desperate to get away from the dark creature. I don’t get far as something cold suddenly wraps around my ankle, like a dark tentacle, whipping me to the ground. I land on my face, full force in a rough thunk, and I groan. My head immediately fills with painful pressure; I almost forget I’m being hunted.

An extreme cold washes over me and I’m twisted onto my back. Icy shivers run up my body as I’m forced into an arch. My head is thrown back into the snow as my fingernails dig into the ice painfully. I am paralyzed. I feel the shadows prod, pushing and pulling my arms. They swim around my legs, inspecting me. The trees around me go dim as darkness clouds my vision, swarming me. I feel a strange sensation inside my head, like déjà vu, as pressure squeezes me. Random memories start to fill my thoughts. I have no control over the recollections as they race.

Images of my mother pop up, and I feel its focus direct into her. It watches me by the fire, spinning her yarn. It gazes at us in the garden, pulling weeds. It watches me care for her as she empties her sick stomach. Suddenly, it zooms in on her face as she destroys me, betraying me as she stands with the King’s Priest. Her icy green eyes bore into me as I scream, my heart shattering.

Suddenly, I find myself immersed fully into the remembrance. Once again, my arms are tied behind my back as I watch the Moon Guards slice into Anna’s throat. I scream as blood drips onto the floor, dribbling off a jeweled dagger before it drops in the carpet. I stare helplessly, aware of what’s coming next, but the painful feelings are fresh. It’s as if I’m reliving it in real time.

Lana strides in, pride clear on her face as she peers down at me. Dead eyes forsake me as it’s revealed she betrayed us. I scream in anger, in unbelievable hurt, in sorrow. How could she do this to me? To Anna? To Fallon? I blink and without warning, I’m in the next one.

The Dredge starts to focus in on Fallon and the day he died. He looks at me with anguish on his face as the sword dives into his stomach. I stare into his honey eyes with such warmth, such a fierce protectiveness. I stare as blood pours out of his mouth, and that same warmth dies in his eyes, right before he falls to the ground. I scream from my lungs as I feel the fresh pain spear my heart. The Dredge forces me to watch as the dark blood pools in the red dirt. I sob as I smell the dried grass and feel the heat of the sun on my face. I relive the windless afternoon as I screech my loss into the air.

The fresh memories startle me, making my heart crush and a tear slip from my eye. I am frozen as it digs into my darkest memories. This is worse than any physical pain it could have released unto me. It is torturing me, finding my weaknesses. This is the way of the Dredge.

I let out a quiet sob.

Unwanted feelings surface as I feel every fear. All my healing, all my progress, is forgotten. It makes me feel anger from my losses, and it makes me feel fear to lose once more. Hate is renewed as I think of Lana, my mother. It’s revived as I think of the King’s Priest and the Moon Guards. And then, extreme hopelessness rushes in and the Dredge reminds me, I will never cross the wall. I will never have my revenge. I will never see my brother again. I whimper.

The Dredge is playing with me, feeding off my pain.

Kai’s face pops up next, his expression holds a warm laugh. Feeling nothing but love for Kai, it quickly continues, switching to Tai next. It brings a memory of his stare, watching me until he reluctantly smiles at me. The Dredge, not liking my happy memories, continues to Pearl. I can feel it scanning my thoughts on her, finding nothing but gratitude. I hear its frustrated screams deep within my head, somewhere within the darkness of my thoughts.

Finally, Ro pops up. I’m thrust into the memory of our first meeting. He crouches over me, a firm grip on my wrist and it all floods back. He stares at me coldly with a quizzical look on his face. I blink, and the Dredge has pushed me into the next memory. I swim naked before Ro as we stare into each other’s eyes. Hunger is written all over his face as he gazes at me, questioning once more. Next thing I know, Ro is gripping my hair in an iron fist, holding me over his naked body in his lush bed. I pant as he looks me over, deciding whether or not to let me continue his pleasure, his look hungry and curious as he stares at me.

The Dredge stays on Ro, it seems like ages as it replays each memory, always staying on his face. Over and over. I feel the Dredge’s own curiosity as it reads me, trying to figure out my importance to its master.

“Dredge!” Ro booms through the memories. “She is mine!”

Shock contorts the Dredge’s hold on me. I feel its hesitant contemplation before finally detaching itself, pulling off of my brain like a sticky glue. Warmth returns as it retreats slowly. Gentle wisps grasp at my hand, touching me softly, as it slinks off me.

I collapse to the ground, shaking, with tears dripping down my face. I inhale a deep breath as I hear light footsteps run to me.

“Grace! Are you ok?” Pearl’s worried voice calls as she comes closer .

I cannot speak; I shudder violently as my brain feels like ooze dripping from my ears. I roll to my side and heave.

“It’s ok, it’s gone. You’re alive.” She rubs my back in gentle circles, speaking in hushed voices. “It’s ok, Grace.” She brings me into a hug, wrapping her arm around me and I break. I cry, letting out a sob. Unwanted feelings rush through my body as my mood swings violently, I cry from fear, I cry from hatred, I cry from the joy of still being alive.

And then, I cry some more.

“Is she ok?” I hear a deep voice ask quietly.

“I don’t know, the Dredge was all over her. Thanks for helping,” she whispers.

A deep grunt fills the silence as I sob.

I feel a heavy hand pet my hair, and I startle, hiccupping my sobs as I open my eyes. I see a blurry Ro kneeling before me, concern clear on his face. He doesn’t lift his hand. Instead, he continues to pet me gently. I stare into his eyes as tears keep flowing, I feel myself sink into a great depression. I’m collapsing into dark tar, and I don’t know if I’m going to come up this time.

“Come here, little soul,” Ro whispers, grabbing my hands and pulling me onto his lap.

I clutch his shirt as I sink myself into his hard body and cry. Warm hands grasp me, holding me tight as his head lowers to mine. Ro doesn’t talk or move, he just cradles me softly. Yet, somehow, it calms me immensely. My cries start to quiet as I listen to his steady breaths, feeling the rise and fall in his chest.

My own breathing hiccups as I relish this time with him.

“I created the Dredges a long time ago,” Ro speaks, his chest rumbling in my ear with his deep voice. “It was during the war, when attacks were centered on the mountain. They were designed to keep intruders away. They were alarm bells, keeping the souls safe, long enough for a Cerberus to arrive. They are a part of the shadows, ruthless and violent. It seems they have found your weakness, and for that, I apologize deeply. I may not like you being here, but I still care for the wellbeing of your soul.”

Ro’s voice is so calm, and his embrace so warm, it heals me, lulling me into a sleep. My eyes go heavy as the rest of my strength leaves me, and the weight of my resurfaced memories drag me under.