Page 38

Eventually, she reached the centre of him and glanced up.

He was watching her progress intently, his lips lightly parted, his eyes almost entirely black and hazy with desire.

She paused in her exploration, wanting his permission to touch, even after his earlier reassurances.

Her lips parted in question but no sound came out; all she could hear was the rustle of a small bird exploring the undergrowth only a few steps away.

He understood anyway. He nodded, his breathing shallow.

Slowly, almost unable to believe her daring, she reached out and touched her fingers to the base of his length.

He expelled a long breath, making her jump.

‘Sorry, sorry.’ He half laughed, falling back onto the blanket and covering his eyes with his forearm. ‘That was unbelievably pleasant.’

Pleasure fluttered in her stomach; she had not expected this to be so easy between them. ‘May I carry on? ’

He let out a half-strangled sound. ‘Please do.’

She resumed touching him, covering every inch of his skin, encouraged by the noises he made, as her fingers ran over him, enjoying the way his hips bucked and his grunts became animalistic.

Her body tightened in response, her nipples almost painful and the deep pull low down in her body so strong, it was causing a restless energy to pulse through her.

She wanted to do this forever but she noticed his hands.

They were gripping the blanket, bunching the material into his fists, the knuckles stark white against his skin.

She stopped, her fingers resting lightly against him. ‘Are you in pain?’

‘No,’ he groaned, dropping his arm and gazing at her, his eyes hooded. ‘Yes.’

She whipped her hand away, heat scalding her cheeks. ‘I am sorry, I do not know what I am doing. You must say if I hurt you.’

He was shaking his head before she had stopped talking. ‘It is like nothing I have ever experienced before. It is pleasure almost to the point of pain. I cannot describe it to you. Perhaps—’ he leaned up on one elbow and the fruity scent of his cologne washed over her ‘—I can show you.’

‘What do you mean?’ Her whole body trembled.

His gaze dipped to the hollow of her throat. ‘It is time for me to learn about you.’

She clutched her neck, her fingers flattening against the skin.

‘Oh no, I do not think that would be proper. We are outside.’ And yet…

she imagined the sun on her skin, how warm it would feel, how the soft breeze would caress her body gently.

It would be heavenly, but it would also mean that Freddie could see all of her.

There were no thick curtains to dim the light, no blanket to hide her body underneath; he would know everything about her.

He grinned, glancing down at himself. ‘I think we have long gone past proper. ’

She slowly relaxed her hand, letting it drop to her side.

‘I am not sure,’ she whispered, back to talking quietly because she did not know how to voice the fear that he might be repelled by what was underneath the clothes she wore.

The inbuilt bodice was providing some sort of bosom for her, but without it, there was very little there for him to see.

His smile faded, his fingers reaching up to lightly touch her jaw. ‘You do not have to. But also… there is nothing to be afraid of. I promise you that I will not hurt you, today or ever. We can take this as slowly as you need to.’

‘I want to; it is only…’ she tilted her head and gazed at the bright blue expanse above her ‘…it is so sunny.’

He laughed softly, his thumb lightly tracing her cheek. ‘I am afraid I do not understand. If it was raining, you would take your dress off?’

She turned her gaze back to him. They were so close now, their noses almost touching. His lips lightly brushed hers, the touch soft and delicate. ‘You will see me,’ she breathed.

‘Yes.’ Another kiss, featherlight.

Her eyes fluttered closed. ‘I am skin and bone.’

He pulled away slightly and she mourned the touch of his mouth, but she could not blame him; she had reminded him of the woman he had married, the one who had no figure to speak of. But he did not drop his gentle touch. ‘Do you remember what I told you at the ball?’

‘I…’

‘That you are the most beautiful woman in any room.’

‘Yes, but…’

‘I meant it.’

‘But…’

‘No, there are no buts. You are heart-stoppingly lovely.’ He pressed a soft kiss to her jaw, another to the length of her neck.

‘I ache to see you; I have for a long, long time.’ A kiss at the base of her throat.

‘But I can wait. Whenever you are ready, my beautifully exquisite wife.’ His lips pressed firmly against her mouth and she moaned into him.

He lifted his head; his eyes were glassy.

He dropped a final kiss to her forehead before moving away, giving her the space to think.

She’d never imagined that he would be so patient, would allow her to explore him, to let her take the lead in their first exploration of one another.

Freddie was kind and he was asking for her to trust him to take care of her.

She could turn him down or she could let herself put her faith in him.

Slowly she kneeled, turning, so that her back was facing him.

‘Some of the hooks on the dress are a little difficult.’

She heard his quick inhale, followed by a long, slow release of air, and a surge of triumph rushed through her.

Her husband desired her; the strange pull she had towards his body was reciprocated.

She’d thought as much, but his reaction to her could not be faked.

Whatever happened between them in the future, at least they had this mutual desire in common.

She heard him move up behind her, felt his breath in her hair and the brush of his fingers against the skin of her neck.

‘These first,’ he murmured, loosening the pins of her hair, teasing each one out and running his fingers through the strands.

He dropped each one on the grass beside them, the tiny ting of them hitting one another marking a step away from her life before.

By the time he had finished, she was almost boneless, so relaxed she had almost forgotten about her dress and his intentions.

He brushed her hair to one side, draping it over one shoulder, his fingertips on the top of her spine. He worked in silence, unhooking each binding until the dress loosened around her ribcage. Her breath was coming quickly now, racing as if she had been running.

He helped her to stand and the dress fell to the ground .

Her wedding dress had a built-in bodice; now all that stood between her and nakedness was the thin cotton of her chemise. The breeze swirled around her ankles, ruffling the hem of the material.

‘If you want me to stop at any time, please tell me. I would rather die than hurt you.’ Freddie’s voice was husky, almost unrecognisable.

‘I will.’ Her own voice was breathy and insubstantial.

Freddie leaned down, his fingers brushing the backs of her knees as he lifted the material, pulling it slowly up over her hips, her shoulders and up over her head. Freddie made an inarticulate noise that bordered on the verge of pain.

‘You are lovely,’ he whispered, his breath on her skin making her shiver. Goosebumps rushed over her, tightening something within her that ached deliciously.

His fingers skimmed over her back to the dip at the base of her spine. She turned slowly, his hands resting lightly on her hips as they came chest to chest.

As in the garden, she had no idea who moved first, but his lips were finally on hers and so it didn’t matter.

Somehow, they made it to the ground, his mouth never leaving hers, his hands stroking, cleverly winding her up until she was keening, pleading for something she didn’t understand.

She tugged at him, wanting the heavenly weight of his body against the length of hers.

He grunted as he landed, his arms coming up to hold most of his weight off her.

His hardness dug into her stomach as his kiss turned wild.

She matched him, arching up, wanting more, wanting everything.

He tore his mouth free, panting as he gazed down at her, his expression like nothing she had seen before. ‘Here? Now?’

‘Yes. Now.’

‘I will stop if it…’

‘Never stop.’ She pulled his mouth back to hers .

Slowly his hardness eased into her, a moment of discomfort passing quickly as he murmured words, some inarticulate, some words of praise, words about his good fortune and her beauty and how perfect she was.

In this moment, she believed every word that fell from his lips, although they couldn’t all be true because it almost sounded as if he adored her.

His hand found the back of her knee, bending her leg and somehow increasing the exquisite pressure. She cried out and he groaned into her neck. ‘I cannot hold out much longer.’

She did not know what he meant; surely this should last forever? ‘I do not…’

He shifted again, his hand sliding between them.

She gave a small whine of disappointment at the sudden air between their chests; she wanted to feel the press of his skin all over.

But then his fingers touched her in a way that had her arching her back.

‘Oh, more, more of that,’ she cried out, clutching his shoulders, unheeding of everything else but what he was doing.

‘Christ, Emily. I can’t…’ But whatever he couldn’t do was lost on her as her world splintered, sensation spiralling out to every part of her body, lighting her up from the inside.

When it was over, she was lying in the crook of his arm as he stroked her back, her hair, the curve of her waist. There was sweat drying on their skin and it cooled her. She shivered, pressing closer to his warmth.

‘I think there is something in the hamper,’ he murmured, pulling away from her slightly as he rummaged in the picnic basket.

‘Oh. It is a tablecloth.’ He shrugged, pulling the material free.

‘It is better than nothing I suppose.’ He began tucking it around her, making sure every inch of her was covered apart from her face .

Sleep was tugging at her now, but there was something about the expression on Freddie’s face that kept her from falling completely under. ‘What is it?’ she murmured from her unexpectedly tight cocoon.

‘Should I have waited?’

‘Waited?’

‘You deserve something better than to be ravished in an overgrown field. I should have waited until the hotel.’

She managed to wriggle her arms out of the cloth, sliding them around his waist and tugging him closer. His arms came around her immediately; it turned out Freddie liked to hug, which surprised Emily almost more than anything.

‘It was perfect, Freddie,’ she managed to say, before sleep claimed her.