Page 14

She leaned over the drawing and gasped, barely able to believe what she was seeing.

What had started off as a formal drawing of a garden with straight lines and formal borders had been added to with detailed illustrations of trees and flowers that looked so real, she half expected to be able to reach out and touch them.

She could almost feel the breeze, gently brushing over the petals, could nearly hear the birds rustling the leaves in the trees.

No wonder he had become so lost in creating it. ‘It is magical,’ she said.

‘It is nothing special; it is some sketching I’ve been working on when I have nothing better to do with my time.’

She snorted. ‘You know I would never give you false compliments. This drawing is exceptional, Freddie.’

She sensed him straightening. ‘Do you really think so?’

‘Yes.’ It was surprising that Freddie needed such reassurance, but it also wasn’t. This was a side of him he obviously kept private. If anyone else knew he was such a talented artist, it would be gossiped about all over the Ton. ‘It’s really beautiful. Is this a real place?’

‘It is… I hope that it will be one day.’

‘What is this?’ She pointed to an undefined patch.

‘That is where the glasshouses will go.’

She traced the area with her fingertip. ‘It is a large space.’

‘That is why…’

‘That is why?’ she prompted.

He rubbed his hand over his chin. ‘It is why it does not exist yet. The scale of it makes it prohibitively expensive. ’

She’d never considered that Freddie had a dream, that he wasn’t just sailing through life without a care or a thought.

The knowledge that he had thought about a project long enough to care about a budget rearranged everything that she thought about him.

Unsure what to say about that, she settled on talking about his drawing. ‘You have a real talent, Freddie.’

Besides her, she felt him go unnaturally still.

‘This is nothing,’ he repeated gruffly.

She laughed softly, trying to hold on to a lightness she didn’t really feel.

Something scary was happening to her heart; it appeared to be expanding and aching and telling her that Freddie was far sweeter than she’d ever imagined.

It was dangerous and something she both wanted to ignore and embrace with both hands.

‘Do not go modest on me now, not when you are usually known for displaying your confidence whenever you have the opportunity.’

He dipped his head. ‘It is just a garden.’

‘There is nothing just about it and you know it. Look at this.’ She leaned closer to the paper. ‘Are those squirrels playing at the base of the tree?’

‘If you have to ask, it cannot be that clear.’

Freddie made to move the paper, but she grabbed his arm, stopping him.

‘I am only questioning it because they are so small. How did you manage to get such intricate detail into such a small space?’ She leaned over to get a closer look.

‘They are squirrels and you have even managed to get in their tiny paws. How have you done that?’

He didn’t answer.

She turned to him and found that his gaze was fixed on where her fingers curled around his forearm over his jacket sleeve.

She was so close to him she could make out his pulse beating in his neck, and she was instantly drawn back into thinking how soft his lips looked, but now she was also wondering how they would feel pressed against the skin beneath the shell of her ear.

For an impossibly long moment, neither of them moved.

His fingers flexed and she released him as if scalded, skittering backwards to put space between them.

Ice and heat seemed to whip through her, sending prickles of awareness to the tips of her fingers.

‘I did not mean to,’ she said, her voice sounding very strange to her own ears. ‘I was only trying to…’

He nodded, pushing himself to his feet. ‘Of course.’

Mortified, she carried on. ‘I was not flirting.’

He smiled but it did not reach his eyes. ‘I know that.’

Thank goodness. She didn’t think she could ever look him in the eye again if he knew that, on occasion, very, very rare occasions, she thought him the most handsome man in any room.

She strove very hard to hide that part of her, even to herself, and she’d nearly succumbed to showing him only moments ago.

She’d been so close to leaning over and pressing her body against his, to asking him to kiss her when he’d given no indication that he was even vaguely interested in doing such a thing.

‘I am so very sorry, Freddie.’ She knew that if a man touched her without her consent, she would not be happy at all.

‘That is quite all right, Miss Hawkins. You can rest assured that I did not think you were trying to entice me with your feminine wiles.’ Emily did not think it was possible for her to get any hotter without bursting into flames.

‘I was merely taken aback about how much you liked the drawing. Sketching is something I indulge in from time to time.’

Good, they were back to discussing the drawing and not her inappropriate grabbing of his arm. She could still feel the cloth of his jacket against her palm, but that would fade. It meant nothing. ‘I meant it when I said you have a real gift, Freddie. ’

She stopped herself before she went on any further.

She wanted to tell him how beautiful she thought the space, how she could picture herself curled up on the bench he’d drawn in the secluded part of the garden, but she held herself back, the years of their mutual animosity standing between them.

She longed to move closer toward the drawing again, to study it in more detail and to discover more of its hidden treasures, but she did not know if she would be welcome to do so.

The tight line of his shoulders suggested that she was not.

‘Perhaps I should take my leave,’ she suggested when it became apparent he was not going to address her comments about his work.

He nodded briskly. ‘Of course. We have taken up far too much of your time already.’ He gestured to the book still tucked under her arm. ‘You may borrow that.’

‘I know I…’

‘Glanmore will not notice one missing. He has hundreds of books, as you can see. You can probably even keep it.’

‘Oh no, I shall return it as soon as I have finished.’

‘Very well. Shall we?’ He gestured to the door.

‘Oh yes.’ She sounded like a complete ninny, but she didn’t seem to be able to sound like her normal self. Touching Freddie’s arm had robbed her of her ability to function like her usual self.

It was only as they were nearing the front door and she caught sight of Anna waiting for her that she remembered how to speak properly.

‘I really enjoyed my time with Lotte. She is a lovely little girl. We keep some things at our house to entertain my nieces, should she wish to visit.’ She laughed at herself. ‘Not that she would understand what that means, of course…’ Perhaps she hadn’t entirely stopped being a ninny after all.

‘I am sure that she would love to. Thank you for the kind offer. ’

She and Freddie were being pleasant to one another once more; this whole meeting had been very disconcerting. Hopefully, next time, he would go back to teasing her and she could go back to scowling at him and she wouldn’t feel so out of sorts.

It was only much later, as she was preparing for yet another evening at a ball, that she realised she’d addressed him as Freddie, as if they were friends and not mortal enemies.