Page 31

But Freddie had spoken. His marriage proposal, if you could call that bold statement an offer, was out there. Tobias would not contradict him now. If Emily had to get married because of what had happened in the garden, then it would be to Freddie.

‘But Mama, nothing happened,’ Emily pleaded, and Freddie fought the instinct to fall to his knees and beg her to consider him. He knew marriage to him was not what she wanted; her look of horror could not make it clearer.

‘Nothing happened. Nothing!’ If Mrs Hawkins’ voice went any higher, glass would shatter. ‘I saw the way he pawed at you.’

Freddie’s chest was tight. He was in the wrong for his actions, but Mrs Hawkins was making what had been the greatest few moments of his life tawdry, destroying the perfect memory with her screeching.

He glanced at Tobias, but it seemed his brother was not going to weigh in to this argument.

It would fall to Freddie to make this right and to do that he had to get Mrs Hawkins to stop denigrating her perfect daughter.

‘That’s enough,’ said Freddie, his voice sounding far firmer than he felt.

‘Emily and I will marry. Simon de Beauvoir, my brother’s secretary, will be in touch with the financial settlements and will see about the marriage contracts.

’ Freddie had no idea if this was true, but it sounded right and Tobias didn’t correct him.

Mrs Hawkins turned to look at him, her eyes narrow, her lips thin.

She could not have regarded him worse if he were a bug she had squashed beneath her boot.

This was not the marriage proposal she’d wanted, not when there was a far bigger prize to be caught, but it was the one she was going to get.

Hopefully, he would get a chance to talk to Emily once Mrs Hawkins had calmed down.

If she did not want to marry, then he would not force her, but the offer was out there.

She would not be ruined because Freddie had not kept his hands to himself.

For her part, Mrs Hawkins could not turn down Freddie’s offer of marriage to her daughter, as she had already claimed that Emily needed to marry and Tobias had not stepped up to the occasion. Mrs Hawkins had found out that her royal flush was merely a trick of the light.

Freddie held his breath as the afternoon ticked slowly on, everyone waiting for Mrs Hawkins’ next move.

Without Tobias’ lofty title as a draw she would probably pull out of the arrangement now.

Freddie tried to force himself to feel some relief that he would not have to marry after all, but the feeling did not materialise.

Inside, he was left with a dark pang around his heart, as if the worst had already happened.

He’d been tantalisingly close to his heart’s desire only to find it might be snatched away at the last moment.

It was an absurd emotion to feel. He’d never truly considered binding Emily to his side for the rest of his life.

He’d longed for her, yes, but in a way that wasn’t a fully formed idea, more of a nebulous dream.

But now… now it was nearly possible, nearly in his grasp and he found the idea of letting it go was akin to slowly having his teeth pulled out.

‘Frederick is my heir.’ All eyes swung to Tobias, who had dropped his arm from the mantlepiece and was now glaring at the room as if waiting for someone to contradict him.

Mrs Hawkins stilled, that information seemingly new to her.

It shouldn’t have been. Freddie was the next male Dashworth after Tobias; of course, he was the current heir to the dukedom.

It wouldn’t last, meant nothing really, and Freddie had never called himself Earl of Blackmore or Lord Frederick but still…

it wasn’t new news. Except th at the reality of it did seem to be dawning on Mrs Hawkins.

Gradually, her features relaxed, her pursed lips flattening as she thought through all the ramifications.

She may not be getting a duchess as a daughter, but for now she would get a countess and there was a slim chance she might get a duke for a grandson.

Freddie’s gaze turned back to Emily. She’d said nothing since his second marriage declaration.

Her skin had gone paler still and the pretty loops she’d worn her hair in when he’d first seen her in the garden were coming undone.

He silently urged her to look at him, to see if he could guess what she was thinking in this moment, but she had resumed staring at the carpet, her shoulders slumped in defeat.

Whatever Freddie’s proposal to her meant, it was not something that sparked joy.

He’d known she hadn’t wanted to marry him, but her obvious distress was a knife to the heart.

‘I’d like a moment with Emily,’ he said, once again surprising himself with his stern approach to this.

‘Absolutely not,’ said Mrs Hawkins.

‘Of course,’ said Tobias at the same time.

Edward continued to smirk and Emily showed no reaction whatsoever.

‘I only wish for a moment of my betrothed’s time,’ Freddie continued, sounding more formal than he ever had prior to this moment. ‘It shall not take long.’

Edward’s smirk deepened. Freddie knew he was sounding like a pompous buffoon, but it was not as if he could ruin Emily any further; not that he had any intention of kissing her again, not when she was fading before his eyes.

He only wanted a moment to comfort her, to tell her that if she wanted to get out of his arrangement, then he would make it happen.

All he wanted was to see the colour back in her beautiful skin, to reassure her that this didn’t have to be a disaster, that he would get her out of an engagement with him if she really, truly could not stand the thought.

Or that if they had to marry he would do everything in his power to make sure that a union between them was not a painful experience for her, that he would try every moment of every day to make her happy.

But he did not want an audience while he said it.

Although clearly disgruntled, Mrs Hawkins allowed Tobias to show her out of the room.

Edward disappeared, taking a different route out of the room, no doubt to share the news with Christopher.

The bastards would probably find the whole thing hilarious, but it was impossible to see the funny side with Emily’s pale face in front of him.

When the door was finally closed, he crossed the room and took her hands in his.

She continued to stare at the floor; there was nothing of the vibrant, passionate woman he’d held in his arms earlier.

Her skin was icy cold and he rubbed the backs of her fingers with his thumbs, trying to warm her up.

‘I am so sorry, Emily.’

She looked up at him then and his heart broke to see unshed tears glistening in her eyes. Her disappointment was heartbreaking for both of them.

‘It is me who is sorry,’ she croaked. ‘My mother could have left that alone, but she forced you into an impossible situation and now we will be bound together for the rest of our lives. I am desperately sorry, Freddie.’

‘No, it was all my fault. I should have known better.’ Emily was an innocent and he wasn’t. He’d known exactly what her eyes had been asking him and he knew he should have stepped away the minute he’d realised she was there. Everything that had happened afterwards was on him.

‘She will not rest until we are wed.’ Emily continued.

‘She has been desperate to get me off her hands since my come-out and this is the perfect opportunity for her.’ Freddie did not say that Mrs Hawkins would definitely have preferred his older brother.

He was reluctant to put any ideas in Emily’s head.

If Emily had to marry a Dashworth, then it would be him.

Tobias had had the opportunity to offer and he had not taken it.

‘I’ve ruined your life,’ said Emily, her voice breaking and the tears spilling over.

He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her shoulder, and she cried into the crook of his neck.

All the while, his heart slowly cracked into a thousand pieces.

He knew he was not good enough for her, that she would not have chosen to marry him if she’d been allowed to pick, but the idea that marriage to him was causing her this much anguish was enough to break him.

Because he knew that, despite his great unworthiness, he could not regret this union, not completely.

He would never have sought to saddle her with himself, but now that it had happened, he would do his best not to let her down, to try to be worthy of her even if he could never match her.

Those were the words he should have said to her as they stood there, the enormity of what was happening to them slowly becoming a reality from which they could not escape, but instead, he held his tongue, the words refusing to emerge.

Before long, they were interrupted anyway, her mother entering the room and tutting to find Emily in his arms once more.

She bore Emily away and Freddie had to watch her leave, her shoulders hunched and miserable as her mother no doubt whispered poison into her ears.