Page 28 of The Duke’s Spinster Bride (A Duke’s Game #2)

Chapter Twenty-Eight

“I t is okay if you are not sure, like I said, there is still plenty of time for us to decide on when to have a child.” Frederick’s ran a hand through his hair as he looked at Andrea, and he tried to give her a reassuring smile.

He could feel her stiffen in his grip. The hair on the back of his neck stood on end and he frowned at her. He followed as her eyes darted between him and the top of the stairs. Her fingers were white around the banister.

He tried to guide her towards the door and into the bedroom, but she was rooted to the spot.

“I mean… I am not sure I ever want to be a mother.” Andrea was not looking at him, instead, staring at the floor.

The slight haze of the alcohol lifted from him as the world snapped into clear focus. His hands dropped from her sides. He shook his head, trying to understand.

“You… You do not want children? At all?” he asked.

It made no sense. She wanted to be with him, she had said she wanted a real marriage. Children were a part of that. The memory of the bank accounts he had discovered resurfaced. The ones in male names. The ones she tried to hide.

Ice spread through his veins. Every hair on his body stood at attention. He was aware of Andrea resting against his arm. He heard her voice as though from a great distance.

“Let’s talk about this in the morning. We… We were having such a nice evening.” Her fingers closed around his wrist but he jerked from her grasp.

He shook his head, retreating further from the steps. “I thought you wanted a real marriage.”

He stumbled as she approached him, twisting as she reached out. He felt as though he had swallowed a barrel full of eels. How could I have been such a fool?

“I do.” She gestured towards the door with one of her hands, her voice imploring. “Please, Frederick, let’s talk about this in the morning.”

“Were you lying to me? Did you mean it?” He could hear the coldness in his voice, see the way it made her recoil.

A part of him begged him to let it pass, to do what he had always done and shrug it off, but he could not. He had trusted her, and what had that gotten him?

“Frederick, I… I meant what I said, but we never talked of children.” Andrea swallowed and looked at the floor. “I did not… I did not think you would want to…”

“You mean you hoped? You hoped I would not want children?” Frederick shook his head, running one hand along his jaw as a mirthless laugh escaped him.

“No – I – I said I am not sure that –” Andrea began but Frederick cut her off, holding up a hand as he narrowed his eyes at her. “You said you were not sure you ever wanted to be a mother, Andrea. Was that a lie?”

“No. I… A child is a big decision Frederick, I am allowed to have my doubts.” He saw anger burst to life in her eyes, stoking the curling, rancid emotion within his own chest.

Doubts. The word broke something inside of him. It was as though a door had slammed into place across his heart. He turned his gaze to Andrea, and she met his gaze, chin jutting forwards.

“How long have you had these doubts?” His voice was little more than an icy hiss.

“What?” She took a step away from him, a hand going to her chest.

“How long Andrea?” He twisted his mouth in disgust, turning away from her. “Actually, do not answer that. I know the truth. You have had one foot out the door this entire time.”

“Frederick, no, that is not true!” She grabbed his arm and he tugged free of her grasp.

“Liar!” He roared as he rounded on her, his heart exploding in his chest. “Those herbs by your bedside… They were to prevent pregnancy, were they not?”

Her eyes widened; it was all the confirmation he needed. He clutched a hand to his stomach as it roiled and burbled. He knew she was saying something, could feel her tugging at his arm but he shook her off. The pounding of blood in his ears drowned everything out.

“I know about your secret bank accounts Andrea. Or should I say, Andrew Cowper.” He sneered as all the colour drained from her face.

“How do you know about those?” Andrea breathed.

“You kept them from me, all this time. I was stupid enough to convince myself it meant nothing, that I was being paranoid, but now I see that I was right.” He pointed a finger at her. “They were your exit strategy.”

“You are wrong. That is not… That is not why I have those accounts.” She let out a frustrated growl.

He rolled his eyes. “Do you really think I am that stupid?”

“You are acting like it!” She shouted. “If you would just give me a chance to explain things.”

“Why? So I can listen to more of your lies?” His voice broke with emotion and he turned away from her. “Was this just some sick little game to you? Was I some passing amusement?”

“Do you really think that little of me?” Andrea shook before him, every muscle in her radiating with barely suppressed rage. “Do you think I am the kind of woman who delights in toying with other people’s hearts?”

“I have no idea what kind of woman you are. Clearly, I do not know you at all.” Frederick dug his fingernails into the palms of his hands, relishing the pain that flowed through him, using it to fight the lump that threatened to form in his throat.

“Nor I you. You are not the man I thought you were.” Andrea hugged her arms tightly around herself, shifting her weight from foot to foot.

“I thought you wanted to see me for who I am. What? Is it not what you expected?” He let out a bark of laughter that sounded more like a screech of pain. “Sorry to be such a disappointment.”

Every word dripped with sarcasm as he bowed to her. His eyes drifted across the floor and when he looked up, he saw her standing by the bedroom door, both hands curled into fists.

Her words were little more than a whisper, but they cut through the silence like a knife through butter. Her eyes pinned him to the spot, like an insect in a display case, forcing all the air from his lungs. “Do not act like it is you who is the disappointment.”

Frederick wet his lips with the tip of his tongue. “Are you trying to imply that you are the disappointment?”

“I am not implying it, simply stating the fact. You claim that I see you as a disapointment, yet it is clear you are placing your own feelings onto me.” She inhaled deeply, shaking her head. “You are the one acting like I have done wrong. Like I am the villain in this tale, simply because I said I was not sure I wanted to have children.”

“And how am I supposed to behave when my wife tells me she has no wish to be a mother?” He crossed his arms over his chest, not caring if it made him look petulant.

The blood rushing in his ears dulled his senses, and yet he could still hear her words with perfect clarity. “I do not know, but perhaps you could stop treating it as though it as simple as breathing air.”

“I fail to see how it is not.” He arched an eyebrow at her. “At least, I was under the impression that getting pregnant was a rather simple affair. Even enjoyable to some.”

“Of course, that is what you think. You are a man after all.” She peered down the bridge of her nose at him, the corner of her mouth quirking downwards.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” He straightened at her look, his hackles rising as he took a step towards her.

“. Of course, you do not understand why I am reluctant to be a mother, how could you?” She threw her hands up in exasperation. “You will be the father, I will be the mother.”

You will be the father.

“And this is why you are reluctant to have children?” Frederick’s blood turned to ice.

“Of course it is.”

Her words hit him like a slap to the face. He stumbled backwards. That was the problem. She was reluctant to be a mother with him. She did not want children with him. That was what she meant.

How could I have been so blind? He ran a hand across his face.“I cannot believe this. I knew it. I knew this was a mistake.”

The word echoed in the silence around them and he caught sight of Andrea jerking back as though struck. Her face was in shadow.

“A mistake?” Andrea was panting, one hand clutching her chest. “Is that what you think? You think this is a mistake?”

“What else am I supposed to think?” He laughed bitterly. “I should have known better. Damn it, I did know better. and still… I should never have agreed to this.”

“Then why did you?”

To love is to lose. His father’s words echoed around his head. He had let Andrea in, had believed her when she said that she wanted him. “Because I trusted you. But clearly I was fool for doing so.”

“Why?”

“Because you lied to me. You hid things from me, kept secrets. You asked me to be honest, to be truthful. To show you myself.” You made me feel like I could show you myself, like doing so would not make you leave. He bit the words back. “You made me think you would stay, but you have been ready to leave at the drop of a hat.”

“I am not the one who said this was a mistake.”

“Just admit it, Andrea, you have never been committed to this.” “Why else would you behave like this? Why else would you refuse to have my children? Why else would you keep secret bank accounts if you were not planning to leave?”

Andrea let out a frustrated growl and flung the door to the bedroom open, stalking inside. Frowning, he followed her. “What are you doing?”

He received no answer, watching as she pulled things violently from her drawers, flinging them across the room. At last she stopped, whirling around to face him.

In her hands, she held a small box. She thrust it into his chest and he took it from her. “You wanted to know what that money was for? It was for this.”

“What?” He held the box in front of him. It was heaver than he expected.

He saw tears fill Andrea’s eyes as she pushed past him. “I wanted to surprise you. To do something nice for you for a change. That is why I did not tell you about the accounts.”

Frederick shook his head. “I do not understand. You… But… Where are you going?”

She had moved past him into the doorway of the bedroom. At his words, she froze. His heart squeezed as she turned to face him.

“I am leaving.” The words sliced into him, piercing the steel door around his heart.

“Andrea –” he began reaching towards her but she jerked away.

Tears streamed down her face as she backed away from him. He stood, trying to make sense of everything. His mind raced. She was leaving. She had bought him a gift.

She does not want your children. Of course she was leaving. Why would she stay?

“You said it yourself, Frederick. This was a mistake.” Her voice broke as she turned from him. “We should never have done it. So I am leaving. As per our original agreement.”

“And where exactly do you plan on going?” You would be the father. The venom in her voice ran through his veins, and he used it to fuel his anger.

“Home.” She looked over her shoulder, one hand on the door.

“This is your home.” He took a step towards her.

“Not anymore. Goodbye, Frederick. I will send someone for my things in the morning.” She turned away from him, and slammed the door behind her.

Frederick listened as her footsteps echoed through the hall, the sound of the front door closing behind her. The box she had given him fell onto the bed, tumbling with a dull thunk.

He slammed his fist into the wall, sliding into a crumpled heap onto the floor. His chest heaved as he clutched at his heart. “Everyone leaves in the end.”

He had been a fool for thinking it might be different. With shaking hands, he opened the box. Two objects fell out of it. The first was a sterling silver pocket watch. When he opened it, he found a lock of her hair inside it.

The second was another, smaller box. He could not bring himself to open it. Instead, he put the objects away, and buried his face in his hands.