Page 11 of The Duke’s Spinster Bride (A Duke’s Game #2)

Chapter Eleven

“W hat is wrong with me?” Andrea shook her head as she fled Frederick’s study.

Her heart thundered in her chest and she could still feel the Duke’s gaze on her, the concern in his eyes when he had asked if she was hurt.

She could smell his cologne, feel his hand around hers. She shook her head and flung herself into her bedroom. Lucy, her lady’s maid jumped up from her embroidery, moving to sit beside her.

“Your Grace? Is something the matter?” Lucy took Andrea’s hand in hers. “You look as though you have seen a ghost. Have you quarrelled with the Duke?”

Andrea shook her head. “No. The… The opposite in fact. I rearranged his study because I thought it would irritate him. You know how Father would get about such things.”

“His lordship did not take kindly to such interference, no.” Lucy stood and looked towards the door, her eyes narrowed. “Was the Duke unkind?”

“No. He was… impressed. I even gave him advice on his financials and rather than tell me what a fool I was, he has asked for my opinion on even more things.” She shook her head, looking at Lucy with her eyes wide.

Lucy sat back down on the edge of the bed and took Andrea’s hand in hers, a slight furrow in her brow. “He must think rather highly of you then.”

“That is the problem! He is not supposed to think highly of me. Most men would hate a woman sticking her nose where it did not belong.” She repressed a shudder as she thought of how her father had treated her the last time she had offered such advice. A woman’s place is not in business, you are too emotional for that sort of thing.

“Some men certainly would, yes. Like your father.” There was a hesitancy in Lucy’s voice and she bit her bottom lip. “But not every man is like him. And more to the point, you are the Duchess of this estate now. You should be involved in at least some of its running.”

“And yet until this point, I have neglected those duties. I have been too busy trying to keep the Duke at bay.” She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “Not that it has done me any good. He seems impossible to anger. Well… Not impossible.”

She remembered the dark look in his eyes when he had defended her. The anger that he had directed at her father. The fierce protectiveness as he held her to him. Her heart fluttered, her stomach tying itself in knots.

“Perhaps he simply recognises all that you have to offer.” Lucy said kindly. “Few women could achieve what you have done.”

“He said we could be quite the partnership.” Andrea sighed. “When we were talking in his study, I could see just how much he cared about the duchy. He was excited, Lucy, truly excited at what we could accomplish.”

“And this surprises you?” Lucy laughed softly.

“He acts as though he has no care in the world. Yet it is clear there is some ambition in his heart. There is a passion there which…” She thought of the way he had lit up as he listed off all of the projects for the estate.

His excitement had been contagious. With each detail, she had found herself on the verge of adding some thought or idea. It had felt like they were on the same team, and the pride in his eyes as he talked about her contributions. It filled her with warmth and terror.

“And his passion, that is what has unnerved you?” Lucy canted her head towards Andrea.

“No. It… He kept complimenting me, Lucy. He called me magnificent.” She swallowed around the lump forming in her throat. “The way he looked at me, it was as though he believed it.”

“Perhaps he does.” Lucy shrugged.

“He only believes it because he does not know me.” She gripped the edge of the bed. “He is excited by my mind, but what if… What if…”

You are deficient. “He does not know me, Lucy. If he knew the truth about me…” She shook her head. “But every time I let some part of me slip, instead of pushing me away like I expect, he seems to celebrate it.”

Your talent should be celebrated. She ran a hand through her hair. “I do not know how to keep pushing him away. Nothing I do seems to work.”

“Then maybe you should stop.” Lucy smiled at her. “Your life would certainly be easier if you spent more of it trying to get along than trying to provoke a man who seems to be incapable of anger.”

“He is not entirely so.” Andrea chewed her bottom lip. “But I am rubbish at talking to men usually. I get all flustered and tongue tied. And what if I do it wrong? What if I decide to be friends and that is exactly the wrong thing to do?”

“You will never know if you do not try. The Duke seems to care about your opinions, value them even.” Lucy gestured around them. “All you have to do is be yourself.”

“When he was complimenting me… I felt as though I might suffocate. It felt like the world was crumbling around me.” She shuddered, practically feeling the air thicken around her. “Any other woman would delight in such things. Yet I thought I would be sick. It terrified me.”

“It takes time to get used to new things.” Lucy patted her hand. “Compliments do not sit easy when they are so foreign.”

“I just… I cannot help but feel like he is wrong. I… I like the way he looks at me, that he was excited by my ideas. And yet, it feels as though my belly is full of eels.” She clutched at her stomach. “All my life, my father… He made me feel like I was nothing. Less than nothing.”

Her stomach twisted like the curl of her father’s lip. Pray that something similar is not taken from you. Her father’s words echoed, the promise of his threat. I do not want to let him win. She shook and gritted her teeth. Lucy put an arm around her.

“All of this takes time. Your father… He is not a kind man.” Lucy hesitated and looked at Andrea. “May I speak plainly, your Grace?”

“Of course.” Andrea nodded to her.

“Your father has been unkind to you. He has said many things to you which, well, they are not true. You have said you wished to be free of him, and now you are. He cannot touch you here, not with the Duke at your side.” Lucy’s eyes hardened.

“Am I broken?” Andrea felt like a girl, her voice upsettingly high.

Lucy’s eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. “No.”

“It feels like I am.” She leaned against the other woman.

Lucy rubbed Andrea’s arms. “I know. And in time, that will pass.”

“How?”

“You simply practice. If you want things to change, then you must change them.” Lucy moved away from her, and gazed into her eyes. “You do not have to believe your father’s words.”

Andrea pulled at a thread on the edge of her bedspread. She ran a hand along the fine fabric, her brow furrowed.

Frederick thought she had something to add to his estate. He wanted her opinion on running it. The excitement she had felt before he started complimenting her returned. She was not sure what to do about the warmth spreading between her and Frederick, but she was tired of fighting a losing battle.

More to the point, now that she had seen his own passion for the estate, she wanted to be a part of it. She stood up and walked to the window.

“I think it is time that I started behaving like a duchess.”