Page 50 of The Destruction You Desire

I nod although I still want to argue. No one has ever helped me and the prospect of someone doing so makes me feel totally uncomfortable. Even if it is Luca.

"Okay, well, she's not going to be going anywhere for a while so we've got time to get all that sorted."

"Okay, good."

"I'll let you get back to her. But right now, there's nothing you can do. Don't exhaust yourself trying to support her now, she's going to need that energy from you in the future."

I nod, knowing she's right, but hating that I'm going to have to leave her here alone.

"I'll let you drink those and get back to her."

"T-thank you."

"You're welcome, Peyton. If there's anything I can do, please, just shout."

I nod again as she slips from the room.

"I'm so sorry, baby."

I blow out a slow, calming breath as I attempt to process everything I've just been told.

"Luca, I really don't expect you to—" His fingers lightly press against my lips, cutting off my words.

"I'll do anything for you, Peyton. For Libby. Please, just let me."

He holds both of my hands in his, sincerity pouring from his eyes as he stares down at me.

"I'm never going to be able to make up for what I did.Heis never going to be able to make up for what he did. But please, let me make this easier on you."

"O-okay," I breathe, knowing that he's not going to let me refuse. I have a suspicion that even if I did, he'd find a way to make it happen anyway. May as well save the energy for something else.

"I need to go back to her."

"Come on then. I've got some calls to make."

Luca leads me back to Libby’s room but this time, he doesn't follow me inside, instead, he loiters at the window so I can see him as he talks to someone on his cell.

I can't explain just how relieved I am that he's willing to do this for me, for Libby, and as much as my stubborn streak might hate it, I know it's the right thing to do if Libby has any chance of surviving all of this.

I hold her hand as I watch him pace back and forth, his brow furrowed. As if he can feel my stare, he turns to me, our eyes connecting and he blows me a kiss.

My breath catches and my stupid heart tumbles in my chest.

I shouldn't have that reaction to him. I shouldn't care. But I do.

I tell myself it's just my gratification for what he's doing for us. But deep down, I know that it's more than that.

Him being here, him holding me up these last few hours.

It… it means everything to me. And at the same time, I hate that it's having such an impact after what we've been through.

Ripping my eyes away from Luca, I stare back down at my sister, barely able to believe that she's the same person as the girl I grew up with.

She was always so full of life and had an infectious laughter.

Is all of thishisfault?

I knew that Libby was drinking and smoking weed before I discovered her pregnancy, but with what happened with Brett, is that what drove her to start on the harder stuff? The cocaine, the meth?