Page 128 of The Destruction You Desire

"I have every confidence in both of you. There was never any question that you two weren't meant for each other, I just think that maybe you were both a little young to fully understand the strength of what you had. I think, in the long run, the bit of time you spent apart was probably for the best. You'll appreciate what you have again now so much more because of it."

I smile at her, understanding her point but still hating that we lost so much time together.

"I'm so sorry about all of this. There were so many times over the years when I just wanted to turn up on your doorstep and confess everything."

"Oh, Peyton." She reaches over the table to take my hand.

"I wanted Mom to do things differently. I thought she was taking the easy way out by running."

"Your mom was doing what all moms should do. She was protecting her babies. It's something I should have done for my boys a long time ago. But I stayed thinking that it was the lesser of the two evils.

"I knew Brett was an asshole. He was controlling, overbearing, just to name a few. But ultimately, I thought that having two parents would be better for them than one. I think maybe I was wrong."

"No. There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep your family together."

"Even if their father is a monster?"

"You weren't to know."

She looks away, shame coming off her in waves. "I knew about the women. He was going behind my back for years. Every trip away he took, there was always another one. I just never expected—" She fights back a sob.

"I know."

Her eyes come back to mine and we both smile sadly at each other.

"Do you really not know where he is?"

I shake my head.

"Turns out, some of our friends have friends in high places."

"You mean dangerous places."

"Yeah, that too." I laugh but there's not much humor to it. "We just have to trust that everything will work itself out."

She nods. "If Brett is gone, wherever he may be, then it will happen. Hopefully, my boys will be able to find some peace without the constant pressure."

"Luca's been close to giving it all up."

"I know," she confesses.

"H-he told you?"

"No, Peyton. My boys don't tell me anything. But I'm their mom. I sense these things."

"Oh."

"You'll understand when you have kids of your own someday."

I nod, hoping that I’ll have the insight that she seems to have.

"I'm worried about Lee," I admit.

"Lee is…" She lets out a long sigh. "He feels things deeper, harder, than the rest of us and he has no idea how to deal with it. Luca acts out with his anger and frustration. Lee just shuts himself off. Finds his release in silence."

"Why?"

"I don't know. But something tells me that's probably linked to Brett somewhere as well."