Page 49

Chapter 49

Constantine

“Like hell are you coming with me. That’s not happening,” I said, zipping my bag inside the guest room I would no longer be sleeping in. “I’m meeting Easton and”—I swallowed at the regret pushing up into my throat at this next part—“ Carter in Dublin. Not to mention we have The League there for help, so you’re not joining us. End of story.”

Alessandro shut my bedroom door and stood in front of it as if I wouldn’t fight his ass when I was ready to leave. “I need to be there with you.”

“No, you need to get back home to your pregnant wife who could have your baby any minute.” I dropped my bag on the bed and slapped a hand to the side of my neck at the throbbing vein there ready to pop. “There’s only one person getting on that plane who has the Costa last name. Me. ”

“Izzy’s coming,” he guffawed.

“She’s an Ashford now.” I winked just to be a dick, but maybe he deserved my anger. He was pissing me off trying to have my six. I didn’t want him leaving his very pregnant wife to help me save my son’s girlfriend.

I gave my word to Colin, so Lennon was my responsibility, not his. Lennon was being used as another chess piece in a power play game. Fucking A, I really hated people (most, at least).

“I think you need to calm down and think this through.”

“Do I not look calm to you?” I rage-hissed.

Guilt was making a fierce comeback, clawing to the forefront of my mind while also slithering its way around my heart, squeezing it damn near to death after it’d only just started beating again.

Had I not walked out of that room in Aruba, I’d have been in Colin’s life—and in Juliette’s—from the beginning, and none of this would’ve ever happened.

No, this wasn’t me working through the stages of grief, this was me back in Hell after narrowly escaping there.

I stared at the floor in a daze, every muscle in my body locked and loaded, ready to throw down with my brother if I had to.

Exhaling a deep breath, I tried to pull myself together. Colin’s safe. I didn’t fail tonight. I shook my head, disagreeing with my own damn thoughts. I did fail. Lennon’s in danger.

If Lennon didn’t survive, would Colin wind up just like me, living a life full of bitterness, anger, and spite? Walk the road of revenge as I did while hating me on top of it? No, I couldn’t let that happen.

“I know what’s going on in your head.” His voice was low and steady, interrupting the chaos in my mind. “Believe me, I do. I was there last year with Callie.”

He tossed a hand behind him as if signaling toward his past.

“But you have a son in the mix you didn’t know about, so that has to make things a hundred times more confusing. You’ve been the glue that has held our entire family together. The rock . The father to us all, stepping in when Dad fucked up. You never let us down. Never let us walk alone. And you actually expect us not to be there for you when you need us the most?”

I stepped away from him, lifting my hands in the air. “I will not let you miss out on your child’s birth. Nor will I take the chance that Callie or Maria become widows if something happens to either of you out there.”

“But you’ll risk making Izzy one by bringing Hudson with you?” He cocked his head, staring me down as if offended that I was allowing my brother-in-law to have my six but not my flesh and blood.

“No, I . . .” I cursed in Italian, my hands flailing to my sides.

“Callie has two weeks until she’s due. That woman is ten times more stubborn than I am, and she won’t let that baby come early if I’m not there.” He set a fist over his heart. “We are all coming.” He leaned forward, snarling, “End. Of. Fucking. Story.”

“Don’t do this to me,” I breathed out.

“Colin will lose his ever-loving mind with you over in Ireland without him on a rescue for the girl he loves. Never mind that he’s already run once. You know he’ll do it again if you don’t bring him.”

He didn’t even pause for a breath during his lecture. Well, I needed one.

“And as you pointed out, we have the entire League and Juliette’s brother’s team to keep everyone safe. Better for Juliette and Colin to be overseas with us than here without you.”

Before I could shut down his slightly reasonable point, someone knocked.

“Dad?” Colin, of course. He had to be there to plead his case as well.

“Yeah?” I choked out, waving him in as if he could see me.

Alessandro opened up, letting him in. “I’ll call my wife and let her know I’ll be back Tuesday instead of tomorrow.” He didn’t give me time to argue, patting Colin’s shoulder on his way out.

“Let me guess, you’re here to lay into me, too?” I dropped onto the guest bed and rested my forearms on my legs. I was worn the fuck out.

Colin shut the door and propped himself up against it. “Do you think we’re right about everything?”

I let go of a ragged breath. “By the time I get to Dublin, we should have all the answers we need.”

Which I did believe. In Carter, I trust. I couldn’t believe I was thinking that, but it was true. Between Gwen’s cyber skills and Sebastian’s mountain of resources, they’d get to the bottom of everything. Hell, they might even locate Aurora and press her for Lennon’s location before my plane touched the ground. Maybe even save Lennon for me.

With any luck, I’d only need to provide Lennon a ride home and deliver her into my son’s arms. Give him the happily-ever-after I wished I could’ve had with his mom seventeen years ago.

And maybe, just maybe, if everything worked out peacefully, I could get out of this vortex trying to suck me in at every turn and have that happily-ever-after with Juliette now.

“Gwen will soon confirm if Daniel is Carmello’s son and find out if Aurora’s also been in touch with Daniel. Gwen will also know if Aurora arranged a deal with that crime family in Naples. And The League can also talk to Brian Cormac to determine if we were right about Jamie’s involvement in all of this.” I sat upright. “I’m just so damn sorry you’ve been dragged into my world. It’s a place I never wanted you to be.”

At his frown, I realized my shit word choice.

“I mean, I’m glad you’re here with me, I just wish I never had to expose you to this part of my life.”

He shoved away from the door and sat beside me. “Dad?”

“Yeah?” My voice cracked.

He wrung his hands together. “You realize none of this is your fault, don’t you? You didn’t drag me into anything.” He slowly extended his arm, palm up like an invitation to hold his hand, and I sucked in a sharp breath at the gesture. “I saw you forgive your dad tonight. I’m guessing he did some stuff . . . but, um, you don’t owe me any apologies. I’m the one who owes you a few.”

“No, no you don’t.” I took his hand and squeezed it.

“If I hadn’t gone on that app, and if I hadn’t met Lennon because of Daniel . . . well, then I wouldn’t have met you.” His shoulders hunched forward, his head dropping along with them. “So much bad, and yet, out of it has come some good. I don’t know what to think about that.”

I set my free hand on my chest at the sharp pain gathering there with intense force. Please tell me I wasn’t about to have a heart attack in front of my kid? Wouldn’t that be some fucking luck to die on him now?

“Mom used to say, ‘If you want a rainbow, you have to put up with the rain,’ or something like that. I never really understood that until now.” A whistling breath left his mouth as he glanced at me, eyes on the visible scars on my forearm closest to him.

“Well, my life has been one giant never-ending storm,” I confessed in a hoarse voice, doing my damnedest to get through this. “And then you and your mother came along and saved me.”

He was quiet before killing me with his question and sad voice. “Are you sure I’m not a disappointment?”

It hit me that he was hanging on to that thought like I held on to my guilt.

I couldn’t be a hypocrite. I had to do the same if I was expecting him to put his doubts to rest.

“Never say that again,” I murmured, shifting his way to cup his cheek with my free hand. “You’re the furthest thing from a disappointment.”

He sniffled, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “Then, in that case, am I . . . your rainbow ?”

A single tear battled its way forward and down my cheek as I shook my head, swallowing. “No,” I rasped, dropping my forehead to his. “You’re my sun, the light disrupting the darkness in my world.”