Page 21

Chapter 21

Constantine

“Please say that’s for me.” Juliette rounded the breakfast bar, her eyes fixed on the latte I was making her. “Since it appears you’re steaming milk, and you don’t drink it, I’m going with a yes.”

“You guessed correctly.” I finished making her drink and handed her the mug—one I’d had since I’d been in the Navy. Bianca sent it to me while I was overseas. She’d bought it because of the chip in the handle, and she was worried it’d never find a home because it was imperfect.

I never drank from it after she died, nor had I let anyone else touch it. I’d guarded it like a national treasure, the same way I did with her note in my wallet.

But the moment I opened the cabinet and saw it sitting there, all I found myself wanting to do was see it in Juliette’s hands.

“‘ The only way to do great work is to love what you do. ’” Juliette read the words wrapped around the dark green cup and smiled. “That’s how I feel about being a nurse.” She took a sip, and I watched and waited for what I hoped would happen.

She closed her eyes and moaned.

And there it is.

“A pump of hazelnut?” She licked the froth clinging to her bottom lip while opening her eyes.

I may have made it extra foamy for that exact reason. So shoot me. I liked this woman’s mouth a hell of a lot, right along with every other part of her.

“There is,” I finally answered. “I took a chance you’d like it.”

“More than like it.” She rested her back to the counter, crossing one ankle over the other while quietly observing me as I cleaned up.

Everything back in its spot, I settled into a similar position, doing my best not to anxiously skip to asking for the photo album session she’d promised before heading upstairs.

“How’d it go with Colin?”

“He told me the bare minimum about Lennon. I was lucky to get even that, but he promises he’s not . . . you know, active like that with her. Should I believe him?”

“I don’t know,” was all I could give her, not wanting to stress her out even more. I found myself constantly wanting to do anything and everything to protect this woman on every level. Physically and mentally.

“How old were you when you lost it?”

Talking about sex was only going to remind me of how much I wanted to have it with her.

“Freshman in college. I made a promise to my mother I wouldn’t have sex as long as I lived under her roof.” I met her eyes. “And I keep my promises.”

“Ohh.” She rolled her lips together, making them disappear for a second. “I asked Colin to do the same.” She shook her head. “But I don’t know if he’ll keep his word like you did.”

I had a feeling he already broke his word. “He tell you anything else while up there? Let you, at least, hug him?” Hopefully, she was able to do what I wished I could.

She took another sip, and for the first time since Bianca died, I didn’t experience an overwhelming feeling of grief just looking at that cup and the chip in the handle. Bianca had named the cup Chip, too. Something to do with a Disney movie. Well, so I remembered her saying, at least.

“I didn’t give him a choice on the hug.” She gave me a small smile, and I’d take it. I’d take anything I could get from this woman. “He didn’t say much or talk about his feelings about you. He switched back to denial mode, focusing on the PlayStation that he said will be miraculously delivered later.”

Miraculous, all right. My name on a credit card could make just about anything happen. Except for the most important thing: give me back the time we all lost.

She quietly drank her latte, staring at me as if unsure what to say next. Understandable, given how heavy things had turned when we’d tried talking last time in this very spot. I didn’t blame her. I was apprehensive as fuck myself.

I didn’t want to tell her about the rest of my skeletons or why they existed in the first place just as much as I wasn’t ready to explain why I had my interior designer recreate an Aruba-like theme for one of my guest rooms.

“So, are you ready to look at some photos?” she asked, smiling.

That I could do. “Absolutely.”

I gestured to the living room and followed after her, unable to stop myself from checking her out. She’d changed into jeans somewhere in between hugging our son and returning to the kitchen. They were a tight fit, and if I stared at her ass in them any longer, the front of my shorts would also become tight as my dick grew.

Juliette set Chip down on the table before removing her phone from her back pocket. She sat on my gray U-shaped couch, a nervous expression crossing her face.

“Where would you like to start?” she asked as I sat beside her.

I reached for her leg, resting my hand on her thigh as if that were the most natural thing for me to do. She didn’t flinch or push me away. She did the opposite and scooted closer.

“From the beginning,” I requested.

I clocked her swallowing as she swiped to her photo app. “Newborn photos first?”

“No.” I gently squeezed her leg. “Pregnancy photos. I want to see everything, and I want to know everything.”

She glanced at me, her eyes shimmering with emotion. She could so easily show what had always been easy for me to hide. Well, until her. Until Colin. Until they flipped my world around and made it right again.

“I want to know if you had morning sickness and if he kept you awake at night.” I grinned. “He was a kicker, wasn’t he?”

Her lips parted, and a single tear stretched the length of her cheek. I shifted on the couch, so our legs touched, catching that tear with the pad of my thumb.

She quietly stared at me, allowing another tear to fall before gifting me with her voice and her answers. “Horrible morning sickness and reflux. I blame that on his full head of hair.” She sighed, her lip quivering.

I was tempted to track the line of her mouth to help steal away the tremble. Attempt to take away any pain she was feeling along with it, too.

“Colin loved to elbow me in the ribs.” She added with a soft chuckle, “My brother liked to point out I was growing a pair inside me. He has a weird sense of humor.”

She went on to share more, barely taking a breath as she began scrolling through photos of her while pregnant. I had a feeling it helped her to focus on the screen instead of on me.

“You were beautiful then and even more beautiful now.”

“I am?” she asked in a soft voice.

I said that out loud? “Of course you are.”

“And yet, you forgot what I looked like,” she said like a tease, then rested her free hand on mine. “Kidding. Don’t worry, it was forever ago. Time messed with the image I had of you in my head, too. And I even had our son to remind me of you daily.” She tucked the corner of her lip between her teeth.

“It used to destroy me to think about you,” I said instead of addressing her comment. “Remembering your smile. And that laugh of yours, God help me, that laugh.”

“Destroy you?” she asked in surprise.

“Knowing I’d likely never see you or it again.” I closed my eyes as I worked to control myself before I begged her to show me her smile now. “And how you looked at me when I was inside you. Like we were?—”

“One?” she breathed out, finishing my thought, and I opened my eyes, nodding.

I had to be confusing the hell out of her. Makes two of us.

“But you drink Legacy Ridge. Why? Wouldn’t it remind you of?—”

“It did,” was all I gave her.

I needed to stop now before I told her too much, too fast. I didn’t want to scare her away.

I pointed to her phone, hoping I wouldn’t have to beg for a subject change. “So, uh, how was delivery?”

She slanted her focus to the screen, and my shoulders fell in relief, grateful she was letting me off the hook.

“Well.” She swiped to a photo of her in a hospital gown. “A few things went wrong, and they had to do an emergency C-section.” She pulled her hand away and traced her finger along her bikini line. “Everything clearly worked out fine.”

I lifted my hand to clasp her free one, locking our fingers together. “I should’ve been there with you.” I hated myself all over again.

“Not your fault.” She shook her head, mouth drawing tight. “Let’s focus on the good stuff, okay? You’re here, and that’s all that matters.”

That reminded me of what Izzy had said over the phone, so I gave in and nodded for her to continue, but I wasn’t in a hurry to let go of her. Thankfully, she was adept at holding her phone while also swiping with the same hand.

She picked up where we left off, which was the day our son was born—a commercial holiday I’d never given two fucks about before but did now.

“He was my valentine,” she said with a smile, looking at our son on screen, swaddled and in her arms in the hospital bed.

It took everything in me not to succumb to my emotions with every passing memory she shared. I hung on to her every word. Each story she shared unfolded in 4D in my head. I could almost reach out and touch the past, see Colin for myself, and hold him in my arms as if I were there, too.

“And that’s Easton with him here,” she said, stopping on a photo of a man in an Air Force uniform. “My mom married his dad when I was fourteen. We’ve been close ever since.”

“Have you told him about me?” I finally released her hand, needing to stand. Needing a breath before I snapped in half from trying to keep my shit together. “He’s the one you said tried to help you find me, right?”

She set the phone on the table and went for her latte. It had to be cold by now, but she drank it anyway. “Yeah, he was. And I want him to be the first to learn what happened. I’m planning to tell him later today.”

“I need to tell my family.” I just had no idea how to lay it on them. My mother would be wrecked knowing she missed out on her first grandchild’s life.

“Are they all here in New York?”

“My youngest brother is in Charlotte. His wife just had twins last year. And I have a brother in Nashville. His wife is pregnant. Isabella, whom Colin already met, lives a few blocks from me. She married my best friend, Hudson, last month.”

“I remember Colin asking about him this morning.”

I nodded. “And my parents live nearby, too.”

“Colin would love to meet them all when you’re ready to make that happen. He told me that upstairs. One of the few things he mentioned that didn’t require teeth pulling.”

I dropped back down on the couch next to her. “It’s not too fast? They can be a bit much. Are you sure?”

She abandoned her latte to hold my hand.

I fixed my eyes on our fingers locking together on her thigh. My hand could easily swallow hers whole.

“He’s dreamed of this his whole life, but I think he won’t fully accept this is real until . . .”

She didn’t need to finish that thought. I was right there with her. “Consider it done. Maybe just us tomorrow?” I wasn’t ready to share them with anyone. “I’ll have everyone come over on Monday.” No idea if I’d give them a heads-up first or just drop the bomb on them the way it’d been dropped on me. “I’d like to meet your family one day, too, if that’s okay.”

“I’d love that.”

“Where do they live?”

“My father’s still in Kentucky where his business is, but my mother moved to Kansas City with Easton’s dad once I went to college. And Easton’s all over the world but currently based in Switzerland.”

“He’s not still military?” When I’d looked Juliette up in my drunken state Thursday night, I hadn’t bothered to check into her brother’s background. I only saw him listed as a sibling but with a different last name. “Wait, you said he takes justice into his own hands now, right? Guess he’s not still in the Air Force, then.”

“Yeah, he’s in the private security business.”

“I am, too.” I hadn’t planned to tell her about my extracurricular activities today, and it didn’t exactly feel like the time to do it, but I didn’t have much of a choice but to continue now.

“What do you mean?”

“I help people.” Well, that was obnoxiously vague. “It’s a side-job thing. Although, I don’t take money for it. Consider it volunteer work.”

I pulled my hand free to stand again, opting to keep my back to her to get through this.

“Izzy and Hudson work with me. So do my brothers from time to time. A couple of other special operators, too. That work is actually why I was at the rave. We were following a lead of sorts.” I’d already told Colin some of this, and I feared I would lose track of who knew what and how much.

“This is, well, a relief.”

Shock sent me back around to face her. “What do you mean?”

She pushed up off the couch and stood. “Because it explains a lot. Answers questions I had.” When she smiled, reached for my arm, and squeezed, I lowered my gaze to where she held me, confused as hell. “To be clear, I like this answer. I like that you still help people even though you’re out of the Navy.”

How was she taking this so well? How was she smiling? Rubbing my arm? No, I couldn’t get my hopes up. I didn’t even know how to do hope.

“You know, the man who Easton works with does similar work to you and is also wealthy. Maybe that’s why I’m not so shocked a billionaire would be in this line of work, risking his neck for the greater good.” I forced my gaze back to her face, finding her still smiling. “And as a side note, I used the B word because our son did. I didn’t take your advice to google you.”

I couldn’t wrap my head around this. I wasn’t ready to accept being hopeful. “Who does your brother work with?”

“Carter Dominick. Have you heard of him?”

And just like that, my world flipped upside-fucking-down all over again. As quickly as hope had come, all it took was one name to send it away again.