Page 37

Chapter 37

Constantine

I slanted my mouth over hers, planning to be gentle. To go slow. To not consume her like a wildfire. But fuck, I didn’t do any of those things.

How could I when she opened her mouth, offering my tongue entrance?

When she knocked off my hat and ran her fingers through my hair and let me swallow her moan?

Arched against me like she needed me inside her and now?

No, I lost control. Lost my mind. Ravished her with impatience, like an inexperienced kid kissing a girl for the first time.

She made me feel young and hopeful and all the fucking things. Like anything was possible if she was with me, breathing life into my lungs with her kiss.

“Juliette,” I pleaded, reminding myself to slow down. Give her passion and not something primal and wild.

“Don’t stop,” she cried, grinding against my erection. “Please don’t stop,” she said between rough kisses.

“I don’t want to hurt you. To?—”

She bit my lip, nearly drawing blood.

Well then.

I pushed away from the wall to put my hands on her waist, rolling my hips forward against her as I made love to her with my mouth. A duel of our tongues clashing as she matched me stroke for out-of-control stroke.

I’d been chasing this feeling since Aruba, never able to get close. And all it took was her mouth to have me blissed out of my mind.

She moaned my name before dragging her lips over my stubbled jawline. Angling her head, she leaned closer and my eyes damn near rolled back as she kissed my neck.

Her hands shifted to the front of my shirt, and she worked her palms over my heated skin. I was dying to do the same, but her arms were blocking my ability to get to her stomach and breasts.

We may have been at my parents’ house, and we’d had the day of all damn days, but sense and sensafuckability were officially out the window with her body tight against mine and her mouth settling back on my lips.

Slow, lazy sweeps of her tongue had me growing lightheaded. The power this woman had over me was like nothing I’d ever experienced before.

“Juliette.”

“Mm-hmm?” The sound coasted between our mouths, and I captured it with my tongue.

“I want to make love to you for every hour, day, and month you were supposed to have been mine.”

“I—I want that, too.” So why the break in her voice? Why the hitch of uncertainty I picked up on?

“What’s wrong?” My overthinking brain intervened and took over.

Her hands continued to wander. From my chest to my arms. Shoulders to my back. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

I pulled back at that, and the wobble in her bottom lip would destroy me. “Tell me.” I waited for her to look me in the eyes.

“Not sure if this is the time or place.” She kept her voice soft and full of uncertainty.

“I don’t think a right time, right place will ever exist for the things we’ve been sharing.” At least when it came to me spilling my guts to her.

“Are you sure?”

“I can’t leave this room until you tell me.” I made myself as clear as possible with that.

She sucked in her bottom lip, which was already swollen from how fiercely we’d lost control with each other.

I had to do better, be better, and slow down next time. I let go of her and raced my thumb along the line of her quivering lips.

She caught my thumb with her tongue, then waited for my hand to return to her waist before sharing, “I didn’t date for a long time after Colin was born. I just couldn’t bring myself to be interested in anyone, and when I did, no one ever felt right, you know?”

Don’t I know it. I was the king of “never felt right,” and had lived a shitty life wasting my time with all the wrong ones while waiting for her.

“I couldn’t connect with anyone even when I tried.”

My stomach knotted, and bile hit the back of my throat at the idea of her trying to connect with another man. I was a hypocrite to think like that, and I was well aware, so I kept that to myself.

“So, why give my body to someone who didn’t make me feel anything more? So, I, um.” She wet her lips. “I made a vow to save myself and wait until marriage. Guys didn’t take it well when I told them I wouldn’t have sex with them.”

I stared at her in shock, unsure if I was hearing her correctly.

“So, I haven’t had sex since Aruba.”

I shook my head, blinking rapidly, my brain and heart moving at different speeds and in different directions.

I shoved away from the wall and walked backward, tearing my hands through my hair, stepping on my hat before I kicked it away from me.

“Say something.” She nervously wrung her hands together, wearing down her bottom lip with her teeth while pointing her big, green eyes at me.

I cupped my mouth as a million pounds of regret slammed down on top of me. I hadn’t done the same. I did exactly the opposite—only sex, no feelings.

My neck couldn’t hold up the weight of my head, and I hung it forward while closing my eyes.

“Are you upset?” She came over and held my face, and my arm dropped to my side like dead weight. “If you’re worried about what that means for us, well?—”

“No, it’s not that,” I couldn’t help but interrupt, forcing my head up again, and her hand fell away. “I, uh, didn’t do the same.” Guilt poured hot into my tone. It sounded like I’d swallowed gravel and was about to choke on it.

“I know. I mean, I assumed.” She waved her hand between us as if it were no big deal. “You thought I rejected you. You didn’t know we made a baby together.”

Made a baby together.

The pain in my skull was too much. The agony in my chest was on another level, too.

I backed away from her, cycling through grief all over again at what we lost.

“You’re the real reason I saved myself from being with anyone,” she said in a hushed tone. “Because I refused to date anyone long-term until they could make me feel at least half of what you did.”

I kept my hands bolted to my sides, fighting the pull to fall to my knees. “I don’t deserve you.” I was surprised I wasn’t already on the floor after what she just shared.

You’re far too good for me, I kept that thought boxed up, forcing myself to man up and move closer.

A sharp ache pierced my lungs, making it hard to breathe. I pressed a hand over my chest as if that would hold me together. “You know I felt the same, I just . . . went about it the wrong way.”

She gently pulled my hand away from my heart, lacing our fingers together before pressing her lips to my knuckles. “That vow doesn’t matter now, not with you here. I’d never ask that of you. I’d never ask you to wait.”

“No.” I removed my hand from hers, surrendering both palms toward the ceiling. “I won’t have you breaking your vow because of me, because you think you’ll lose me if we don’t have sex.”

My vision blurred as I stared at the most incredible woman I’d ever known.

Whether I deserved her or not didn’t matter. God had sent her to me twice.

“You don’t have to say that.” She placed her hands over mine. A shiver rolled through her and straight into me.

“But I do.” I swallowed hard. “We waited seventeen years. You don’t think I can wait for you a little longer?” Without relinquishing her hands, I went to one knee, then to the other. “I’d do anything for you, for our family. We’re in this together.”

I held her gaze, my voice steady despite the storm in my chest.

“For better or worse, if you want me, you have me.” That almost sounded like a proposal, but if it did, so be it.

She locked our fingers even tighter, then knelt before me. “I think . . .” She tipped her head, exhaling a shaky breath. “I may be falling in love with my son’s father.” She searched my face. “Is that crazy?”

The pain in my chest loosened, replaced by the simple, undeniable truth.

She was here and in front of me.

“No crazier than the fact I am, too,” I admitted. “I’ve felt like a piece of me was missing for a long time. Turns out there were two.”